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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513419">Erratophobia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/syphrilfox/pseuds/syphrilfox'>syphrilfox</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, KH3 spoilers, Medical Procedures, Mentioned Character Death, Minor Injuries, Realm of Darkness (Kingdom Hearts), Serious Injuries, Whump, background old men in love, i thought i would tag that one just in case, ill add more tags as i work, medically induced coma, monstery nobody headcanons, whump starts ending in chapter 13 i think</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:49:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>107,298</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513419</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/syphrilfox/pseuds/syphrilfox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone makes mistakes. It is how we grow, how we learn. Making mistakes is all a part of human nature. </p><p>But there is no justification for his mistakes.</p><p>There is no saying "I'm sorry" for what he's done.</p><p>How can you make mistakes, learn and grow from experience, if you fear your mistakes to begin with?</p><p>There is no turning back the dial. There is no moving on like nothing happened. Be it him or Xehanort, this body has crimes it must atone for. </p><p>For hurting loved ones. For damning entire worlds to darkness. For more than a decade of suffering and pain brought forth by his own hands.</p><p>For killing his father.</p><p>He wakes in a hospital bed, memories hazy and sparse. He's wrest his body, heart, and mind away from the darkness, but what he's done looms over him. And sometimes he wishes he hadn't woken up in that hospital bed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Xehanort's Finest Vessel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>im damning myself writing the beginnings of fics and then jumping onto the next one.<br/>no thoughts, head empty<br/>ill finish all of these one day, but perhaps not today</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Blah blah blah. Yak yak yak. It's all anyone ever does anymore at base. It's boring as hell, and while he doesn't really feel boredom, he does feel a lack of mental stimulation. Something something something, all living things require it. Does he count as a living thing? He breathes and eats and sleeps and shits, but his existence is nothing in a very literal sense.</p><p>Bah.</p><p>Whatever.</p><p>At least there are things that can help him with his lack of mental stimulation, even if he's not the biggest fan of it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If there’s one good thing about setting up home base in some ancient battlegrounds-made-wastelands instead of a perfectly good World That Never Was, it would definitely be the free entertainment.</p><p>Granted, Nobodies don’t really need entertainment. Without a heart, Nobodies don’t really <em>feel</em> emotions. No joy, no sadness, no anger. Pain and adrenaline, yes, but that’s just bodily functions. Those don’t count in the grand scheme of things. Nobodies remember emotions, but they simply don’t feel them. Life is incredibly numb and empty as a Nobody without emotions there to help. But entertainment at least provides mental stimulation. There’s only so many missions the old man can send you on before you memorize them more like a song and dance rather than increasingly important pieces to a greater plan. And there’s only so many times you can mimic annoying emotions and behaviours before your colleagues mimicry of anger and rage and exasperation no longer provides the mental stimulation all living creatures need, feeling or not. Well, actually, it’s still as close to experiencing fun as a Nobody can get, but it’s still not quite enough.</p><p>Watching a piece of the old man’s heart running around in some kid’s body, duking it out with the lingering will of said kid’s mind? Now <em>that</em> is stimulating.</p><p>In the Castle That Never Was, there were all these rules. No walking on the ceiling, no fighting outside of designated sparring grounds, no eliminating your colleagues, no interfering with another’s mission, blah blah blah blah blah. If he could have felt boredom, he’d probably be dead because of it by now. Anything close to fun was banned, and it’s a miracle this new base is different.</p><p>Okay well, a lot of those rules were still in place. Can’t do anything other than walk and talk around those thirteen stone spires Xehanort covets so much. Something to do with his own drama, probably. It’s beyond him, considering Xehanort still has at least a portion of his heart while almost everyone else has none. But a few miles out of home base? Outside the reaches of Xehanort’s sight and care? The world out there is free game. It’s something he and his colleagues have taken advantage of several times. Saix would beserk from time to time out in the wastes where no one could see the destruction he caused. Marluxia and Larxene would spar and plot and do whatever it was traitors liked to do in whatever secluded valley they’ve found. Luxord seemed to train himself and his cards furiously, though he’s never seen a time Luxord had actually lost at his ridiculous card games. Demyx would rush off and play that twanging little instrument of his, somewhere Saix would struggle to find him. Firing off bullets at Demyx’s feet to watch him dance is definitely one thing that almost never gets old.</p><p>Obviously this vessel of the old man’s was taking advantage of it, too.</p><p>Truthfully, he’d had his fill of fighting for all of his lifetimes. Civil wars this, worldly unrest that. Everywhere he went, it was like there was nothing to do but fight. Fight fight fight fight fight, it never stops, and he’s always the one to end up with a few scars. His most recent life had left him with some rather nasty scars, ones he really could do without. Too long fingers rub at the extruding, bony plate that covers the socket where his eye once was, a bad habit he can’t seem to shake. Even when it was just an eyepatch he would rub at his ruined eye. Though he can’t feel rage or hatred with how he is now, he can still safely put blame for both his scars and his bad habit of rubbing at them on both the entities clashing below the cliff he’s perched himself on.</p><p>One of them Xigbar knows all too well. Though the hair and eyes are different colours, and the voice pitched far lower, it’s still the same body that had been the one to inflict so many dangerous wounds on him a decade or so ago. Same deep skin, same height, same build. That kid… What was his name again? Tenna? Tonna? Doesn’t matter, really, it’s been a long time since they’d discussed anything to do with the kid. The last thing he’d discussed with Xehanort about the kid was probably a decade ago. The final stages of opening the kid’s heart to darkness. The last stages of preparing him as a vessel for Xehanort. And that body is nothing more than a vessel for Xehanort now. It’s clear the thing has a little bit of a heart in it from the way it always talks and spits and lords itself around. Something about being Xehanort’s finest vessel. As if. Xigbar’s been a partial vessel for longer than the kid’s been a full vessel. Kids these days really don’t look up to their elders, huh? Whatever, that doesn’t matter either. If it really was the finest vessel, it wouldn’t be getting its ass kicked.</p><p>The other being is one Xigbar’s only really seen in passing. If anything, it’s probably as close to a Nobody as that kid was going to get. It doesn’t have a heart, but it doesn’t have a body, either. It’s just a suit of armor, glittering bronze and gold and red in the sun’s light. That armor is one he’d seen on the kid when this whole half baked plan of Xehanort’s was just beginning to be put into motion. Keyblade armor. He’d heard of the stuff, but he’d never actually put any effort into trying it out. He’d always had his cloak that he’d gotten from the Master. That was more than enough to keep the darkness away, and he tried not to get into fights that would lead to any kind of serious injury to begin with. He wasn’t supposed to have a Keyblade anyways. At least, not for a little while longer. Xehanort still has No Name. Even if he wanted to try out Keyblade Armor, his Keyblade wouldn’t be returned to him until the old coot finally kicked the bucket.</p><p>This Keyblade armor fiend the vessel was fighting had its own Keyblade. The kid’s Keyblade. The one that had beat him to hell and back. The vessel had some replica of No Name, but the one the Keyblade Armor had was that Ends of the Earth Keyblade. A strong Keyblade, one that could rattle the world at its very foundations if its master called for it. It channeled emotions better than most Keyblades. The kid had been real angry back then, swinging that thing around. It had whispered some real harsh things to him every time the kid had hit him with it. Sitting so far away now, watching the Keyblade Armor of the kid, he could only imagine what kind of horrible stuff the Keyblade was whispering to its victim. Probably stuff ten times worse than what it had said to Xigbar over a decade ago.</p><p>Then again, that armor probably didn’t have anything but a will to it. A Lingering Will. With the kid’s heart gone and disappeared somewhere after Xehanort’s possession, that Keyblade Armor probably feels about as much as Xigbar does. Probably even less, considering there’s no actual body beneath that armor. How could there be, when it’s fighting the vessel?</p><p>Well… Maybe there is a body underneath all that armor. Xigbar doesn’t know. He’s never gotten too close to that Lingering Will, and nothing could convince him to get any closer than he already has. He’s seen it a few times on his ‘Boredom Walks’ miles outside of home base, but every time he saw it he never went over prodding at it. It always seemed like a bad idea to bother it. Looking at the calculated and ruthless way it fights, it’s safe to say it’s dangerous. It’s not like the Lingering Will was really doing anything when Xigbar’s seen it on his walks anyways. Other than the occasional battle between it and the vessel, the Lingering Will was just sitting on its knees out in the middle of nowhere. Probably meditating or something. Or maybe it was in a coma. Hearts aren’t well understood, but neither are disembodied wills and brains. How does a disembodied will sustain itself? Does it need enrichment the same way he does? What does a disembodied brain think of anyways?</p><p>The sound of crackling energy getting exponentially closer almost wasn’t warning enough for him. Leaning backwards in a position impossible for Somebodies, Xigbar narrowly escapes the wrath of a stray Ultima Cannon blast. He does not escape the way his too thin back and waist seems to pull and crack at such a sharp angle, but Xigbar would take a day’s worth of back aches over being turned into Nobody Dust by some ridiculously powerful cannon strike any day. Self preservation also does not count as a feeling. That’s just another bodily function.</p><p>Sitting up straight once again, Xigbar stretches his back out and refocuses himself back onto the duelling vessel and mind. He hadn’t noticed it while considering disembodied wills and brains, but the heartless portion of the vessel- Xehanort’s Guardian, or whatever it’s called- has been brought into the fray. Man, that kinda sucks. Usually when the vessel brings out that heartless leech, or whatever the hell it is, it means that the fight is soon to be over. There goes his free entertainment. He spent all that time thinking and considering what-ifs and maybes about that Lingering Will that he forgot what he’d really come here for.</p><p>A gusty sigh escapes him through his nostrils, and he rests his chin in the palm of one large hand. Oh well. It’s not like there won’t be another fight between these two later, but with nothing to do right this second he had been… well, not eager, but…. Perhaps ready. Ready to observe another’s fight. Ready for the mental stimulation of watching and analyzing their fight.</p><p>Watching the heartless and the vessel attack and parry and dodge the Lingering Will’s attacks was enough to keep his mind blank and his body numb. Things would wind down soon, surely, but there was still a little bit of entertainment to wring out of this fight. At the very least he could categorize the wounds of ‘Xehanort’s Finest Vessel’ so that the old coot can know exactly how bad his finest vessel is. It’d probably be something akin to fun, knocking the vessel down a few pegs.</p><p>The vessel looked like it was sporting some new wounds, ones Xigbar knew it hadn’t sustained in fights before now. A black eye, maybe some broken ribs, definitely a broken arm. But the Lingering Will didn’t look much better either. Scuffs and dents and chips in the armor. It’s too far away for Xigbar to determine what hides beneath the surface of the armor through the chips, but he’s willing to bet that there’s nothing but emptiness inside. This thing isn’t like that Sora kid. It probably follows most of the known rules of how hearts and bodies work. Probably.</p><p>Back and forth they go, sometimes fencing, sometimes kendo, sometimes something entirely different. All of it kind of looks like an intricate dance, something so very practised yet so violent and wild. Xigbar definitely has no intentions of getting into a fight for the time being if he can manage it, and definitely not a fight like this, but there’s something so heart-pounding about it. Probably the adrenaline. Or maybe the knowledge of what a fight like this is like. Definitely not thrill or excitement. Besides, he’s seen this song and dance a bunch of times before anyways. He’s experienced it a few times himself. There’s definitely nothing to be excited about, even if he had his heart.</p><p>The Lingering Will nearly falls, taking a serious blow to the chest. The armor dents inwards in such a way Xigbar’s never seen before. It’s brutal. It probably would have killed whatever theoretical body might have been in there. Probably no body in there then. But the Lingering Will tanks it somehow, standing on one knee and keeping itself straightened. The vessel raises an arm and strikes again. The Lingering Will tanks another blow, this time to the head, and really, if Xigbar could feel surprised, he definitely would be. If the vessel had hit anyone else the same way it had just hit the Lingering Will, there would be no way the head would stay attached to the body. Perhaps its sheer willpower alone that the helm stays attached to the shoulders.</p><p>It doesn’t matter in the long run, though, not with that heartless thing in play. Usually it only takes the heartless one vicious grab and swing to toss the Lingering Will out of range and back into stasis. Coma. Meditation. Whatever it is that it does. And whatever it is that it does, it always heals itself, the armor returning to it smooth, untouched glory. Xigbar rubs at the bony plate over his eye socket absent-mindedly, watching as the heartless rears back before diving forwards. It always ends the same way, these fights. A lingering will cannot beat a heart like Xehanort’s, it seems.</p><p>The Lingering Will swings its Keyblade again while the heartless dives.</p><p>The crunching of bones and a shouted “What?!” is so loud that Xigbar can hear it from his perch. The vessel drops to a knee and nearly crumples. The heartless takes hold of its arms and <em>pulls</em>. </p><p>And Xigbar will admit that this is the closest he’s ever been to feeling genuine shock and surprise since he was first turned into a Nobody.</p><p>He watches, body frozen, as the Lingering Will plunges the tip of its Keyblade into the vessel’s chest and turns. Unlocks. He can hear the click from the clifftop. He watches as the essence of tainted heart fragments escape the vessel’s chest. He watches as the Lingering Will crumbles away into pieces of bodiless armor, fragments of soft light rushing to the vessel. He watches as the heartless pushes its way into the body, darkness sloughing off of not only the disappearing, oily body of the heartless but off of the vessel as well. And the vessel collapses face first into the hard, packed earth.</p><p>Huh?</p><p>Xigbar sits and watches, one eye wide as a platter, waiting for the vessel to climb back to its feet. To disappear into a dark corridor. To send out a distress signal. Something. Anything.</p><p>Its hair darkens, starting from the roots and working its way back down to the tips like muddy water flowing down the vessel’s head. It doesn’t take very long before the hair is brown again. Brown. What?</p><p>The vessel jerks. A hand claws at the earth. A scream, higher pitched than Xehanort’s voice, pierces the air. Xigbar only realizes he’d been rubbing at his eye again when his nails scratch painfully across the leathery skin covering the bony plate.</p><p>The vessel is no longer a vessel.</p><p>
  <em> It’s the kid. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i was talking about this with a friend and honestly???? i just kinda wanted to beat the crap outta terra lol. sorry baby boy, your suffering is only just beginning.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Single Step</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When you have no leads, no clues, not even the barest inkling of a hint, it's really hard to find what you're looking for.</p><p>Four worlds they've visited, and each more empty of clues than the last. It was almost as if she had fallen off the face of the worlds.</p><p>But really, falling into the Realm of Darkness was pretty much that by definition. After all, Master Yen Sid said it wouldn't be easy.</p><p>Hopefully this new mission Master Yen Sid has given them won't take them very long. Their time is running short, and they need all hands on deck as soon as possible.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao i struggled so hard with mickey and yen sid in this chapter. y'all just gonna have to suffer if it feels a lil out of character. i dunno if i did riku well either, but i definitely did him a little better than i did them lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So there’s no traces of her here, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A great sigh leaves Mickey, and while it’s still comical to see such a sight after these past two years of knowing him, Riku finds no joy in it this time. Not even a four foot tall mouse moving as though he were a cartoon can chase away his disappointment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t there anywhere else she’s been in Radiant Garden?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey hums softly as he scratches at his chin. </span>
  <span>“Well, I wasn’t around long enough to see where she went. I only met her at the castle while I was chasing down the Unversed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And we’ve already been to the castle. Dilan and Aeleus said they didn’t see where she ran off to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was here over a decade ago, too. If there were any witnesses that might have seen her, they probably don’t know or don’t remember where she went.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He crosses his arms and hums a soft note. Staring off at the ground a little distance away, Riku tries desperately to think. Where would he go if he had been Aqua all those years ago?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Master Yen Sid’s train had dropped them off outside of the city’s walls, Mickey had told him all he knew about Aqua. She had been searching for her friends when she and Mickey met in Radiant Garden. Searching for the other lost Keybearers, Terra and Ventus, most likely. They met in front of the castle, where Aqua had been defending a young girl from the Unversed. Mickey had helped her, and then before he could speak to her again, he had been cast off into space on a piece of magical equipment that he had, quote-unquote, borrowed from Master Yen Sid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His brows knit a little more tightly together in thought. The next time Mickey had met her, he said it was in the Keyblade Graveyard. They had been fighting against Xehanort and the few forces the old man had mustered to overpower Aqua, Terra, and Ventus. Aqua and Ventus had fallen unconscious and Terra was nowhere to be found, so Mickey had taken them back to Master Yen Sid’s tower. She had returned to the Keyblade Graveyard alone after that. From there, all Mickey knew was that she was in the Realm of Darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There had been nothing to go off of in Master Yen Sid’s tower. It was clear that Master Yen Sid knew his small world well enough to know if there was a path to find her. Apparently, wherever Aqua might have been cast into the Realm of Darkness, there would be an entrance. A way to cross realms. Sure, he and Mickey had seen some doors in both Master Yen Sid’s tower and in Radiant Garden, but nothing led to the Realm of Darkness. Master Yen Sid wouldn’t have sent them to find her if the Door to Darkness was in his own tower, after all.  And all they had found in Radiant Garden was wreckage and debris, abandoned houses, and one very angry cat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Aqua had been cast into the Realm of Darkness in the Keyblade Graveyard, well, there would be little hopes in finding her. Master Yen Sid had warned each and every one of the present Keybearers to stay away from the Keyblade Graveyard. For good reasons, too, it seemed. Master Yen Sid had mentioned that the Keyblade Graveyard would be the final destination. The Seven Guardians of Light would clash against the Thirteen Seekers of Darkness there, and that none were to approach that ancient world until the Seven Lights had been located. Without the Seven Lights, searching the Keyblade Graveyard for an entrance to the Realm of Darkness was out of the picture.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were other worlds Aqua had visited in her travels as well, but they were so numerous and so widely spread that searching them had been slow going. Deep Space proved to be a futile effort. There was every sort of machine and alien imaginable there, but no signs of Aqua. Neverland was fruitless as well. At the very best, Mickey had uncovered a rotting toy Keyblade. But the toy had been snapped and left out on a beach near a cliff. Covered in moss and bugs, it could have belonged to anyone. The Dwarf Woodlands was just as void of passages to the Realm of Darkness as the rest of them. Snow White had mentioned that she knew of a girl with brilliant blue hair and eyes, but that she didn’t know anything about what had happened to her or where she went.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Riku didn’t consider himself someone who would simply give up and go home, especially not when it concerned such an important mission, he found it hard to continue with an optimistic attitude when all four worlds visited so far have given them nothing else to go on. What Riku wouldn’t give to have even a sliver of Sora’s seemingly miraculous radar. Somehow he always knew where his friends were, if only in a general sense. Then again, Riku wasn’t exactly friends with Aqua. He’s never met her before. It probably wouldn’t do him much good if he had a sliver of Sora’s radar powers anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey’s voice drags him out of his thoughts, and he blinks away the slight after image of moss covered cobble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if we can’t find an entrance to the Realm of Darkness here, we might as well report to Master Yen Sid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there anything out beyond the city walls?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey hesitates for a brief moment before his eyes darken. He shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There were villages once, but a lot of them have been reduced to ruins. Any survivors must have taken refuge within these walls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we should check out the ruins. Maybe she went out to the villages when they were still standing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again Mickey hesitates, this time with a slightly brighter twinkle in his eye. The shorter Keybearer scratches at his chin in thought before he gives a strong nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It probably wouldn’t hurt to investigate them a little bit. There’s always a chance that there’s a path in one of those villages.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better safe than sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a slight boost to his optimism, Riku starts towards the gates leading towards the outer gardens, with Mickey hot on his heels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Together they weave through small crowds and skirt around piles of debris and stacks of construction supplies. All things considered, Radiant Garden has done a spectacular job of rebuilding in the two years that the world has returned to the Realm of Light. The main plaza has been entirely rebuilt, with a working centre fountain and all shops and stalls repaired on the edges. Tall and skinny houses stand proudly, unashamed of bare brick and wood that has yet to be painted. The cobbles under foot haven’t changed, but the ones that were beyond repair have been replaced. People linger and chatter and shop, while children squeal and race around. Gardens are slowly being brought back to life, and life here seems to thrive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s impressive to see how big a difference the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee has made for Radiant Garden. Riku’s very first visit had shown him nothing but endless flood water moving in impossible directions, while a disembodied castle, somehow both separate and a part of the world, floated above the currents. Now everything seems to shine. Everything is connected again, in one way or another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The people they know call out greetings as they pass, and they wave and call back to them. No one stops them, which Riku is thankful for. Though he manages to speak well with close friends like Kairi, Sora, and Mickey, talking to people he hasn’t spent a substantial amount of time with feels a little awkward. The importance of their mission right now simply gives them the excuse to breeze right on through Radiant Garden undisturbed, save for a quick conversation between Mickey and Scrooge McDuck about ice cream and world hopping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they reach the outer gardens, Riku is relieved to see that very few people are there. A few people wander about, some tending to flowers, some tending to the centrepiece fountains, and one Riku has heard of stands watch. Cloud, if he remembered Sora’s rambling correctly. He’s certainly got the spikey hair, dark clothes, and scowl that matches the description. Cloud only nods at them as they pass, and Riku raises a hand in acknowledgement. Mickey shouts a friendly “Good afternoon!” his way before the two of them step beyond the walls of the outer garden gates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quiet plains stretch out before them, barren save for a few lingering shrubs and boulders. Some of it looks like wreckage from the aftermath of the world falling to darkness, but everything is so quiet and still that it seems like the event had happened decades ago instead of just a few years earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“According to Master Yen Sid’s records, the closest village was just southwest of this gate. A few miles past those trees over there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey gestured towards the trees he’d mentioned, and Riku blew out a long, silent breath. The way Mickey had worded it made it sound like the trees were just on a nearby hill. Looking at them from where they stood, the trees were barely more than a few specks, seemingly no taller than the width of a piece of twine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” he starts, reaching a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. “I guess we better start walking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh! Every journey begins with a single step!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile pulls at the corners of Riku’s lips as Mickey starts to march towards the distant trees, back straight and chest puffed out and his tail swinging merrily from side to side. Riku finds the optimism infectious, and is quickly following half a step behind Mickey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They don’t make it very far before a purple train car appears from thin air a few yards before them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both he and Mickey stop in their tracks to stare at the train car. Gold stars and moons decorate the sides, and the windows are clean and clear. On top of the train sits a silly purple cap, also decorated with gold stars and moons. It’s definitely the train car that they’ve been taking between worlds, the one Master Yen Sid keeps in working order just for the Seven Lights. But why it’s appeared before it was summoned is beyond him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku glances down at Mickey just as Mickey looks up at him. They stare at each other for only a moment before they look back at the train car. The door on the side slides open, almost as if it’s beckoning them to climb aboard. Riku isn’t so sure if it appeared for a reason or if it simply appeared because they left the limits of the city.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you summon the train?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey shakes his head with a clear, negative hum.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have the feeling you didn’t call it either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Riku’s turn to shake his head. He definitely didn’t call for the train.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stand there for a moment more, uncertain of the reason why the train car appeared, before a sharp, high pitched melody sings. If it wasn’t for the fact that Riku had heard Queen Minnie humming and singing before, he would have thought it was his own Gummiphone ringing. Mickey pulls his Gummiphone out with practiced ease and answers the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost immediately they’re bombarded with squeaky shouting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your Majesty Your Majesty!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You gotta hurry-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yen Sid’s got somethin’ to say-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“It’s real important you get on the train-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Just got off a call with him!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Riku peeks over Mickey’s shoulder at the screen while Mickey gives Chip and Dale an awkward grin.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Gee fellas, I can’t make sense of what either of you are saying. What’s got your tails in a twist?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>It takes Chip and Dale a few seconds to calm themselves enough to decide on who’s going to speak first, but it gives Riku enough time to take in their flustered appearance. Their fur sticks up in different directions, and some of it seems more fluffed up than usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chip is the one who speaks first, and though his voice has lost some of its volume, it’s still frantic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We just got off of a call with Yen Sid!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah,” Dale butts in, pushing his small face a little bit closer to the camera. “He says that he’s got some urgent mission for you two!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“And he sounded <em>really</em> scary when he was talking about it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku trades a quick glance with Mickey. It lasts just long enough for Riku to see that the same worry and dread growing in his guts is building in Mickey’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was the mission Master Yen Sid was talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No time to explain, he said!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Dale shouts, Chip is desperately trying to smooth out his fur. Chip takes over the conversation next.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All he said was that you two were supposed to get on the train as soon as possible!”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah! He said he would tell you when you were on board and on your way!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like an important mission… I wonder what’s more important than finding Aqua?” he mutters, mostly to himself, but Mickey’s ears are sharp enough to hear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, there’s only one way to find out!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that Mickey hurries towards the train car, his Gummiphone still on and in his hand while Chip and Dale squeak and shout on the other end of the line. Riku can’t help the smile that grows on his face despite the dread welling up in his stomach. There was just something about the way Mickey moves that makes his heart feel a little bit lighter. It almost reminds him of the Saturday morning cartoons he used to watch as a kid. He stays close behind Mickey, boarding the train car barely a second after him. He’s close enough to hear Chip and Dale say a hasty goodbye before the tell-tale chime of the Gummiphone hanging up echoes in the train car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having acquired its two required passengers, the whimsical train car lurches forwards, slowly coming to life and travelling along the light rails only it seems to know. Riku’s barely gotten his balance back when Mickey’s Gummiphone starts to ring again, this time with a different and far more mysterious tune. For a brief moment Riku wonders who’s calling now. A heartbeat later he mentally shoves himself for even wondering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku moves to look over Mickey’s shoulder once more as he answers his Gummiphone. The image of Master Yen Sid pops up on the screen, and if Chip and Dale had to be right about anything, they just had to be right about the severity of Master Yen Sid’s mood. Though the wizard was neutral and collected like he normally is, something about the intensity in his eyes and the faint lines creasing the skin between his brows was enough to set Riku on edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mickey, Riku, thank you for responding so quickly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like Chip and Dale had said, Master Yen Sid’s voice held an air of sharpness and urgency, both tones Riku had never heard before from the wizard. It was enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Thankfully, Mickey was less fazed by Master Yen Sid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! We got on the train as soon as Chip and Dale told us you had something important for us to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed I do. For the time being, this is a matter far more vital than searching for Master Aqua.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it that you need us to do, Master Yen Sid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For all of the prickles of dread that were starting to crawl underneath his skin, Riku was rather proud that his voice held strong and confident. Master Yen Sid closes his eyes and seems to take a long, steadying breath. Seeing him do such an action does nothing to soothe his dread. When Master Yen Sid opens his eyes again, the intensity in his gaze freezes all of Riku’s nerves in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you both know, I have warned you about the dangers of setting foot in the Keyblade Graveyard,” he starts, folding his hands atop his desk. “I sense a great darkness there, one which can only belong to Xehanort.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid takes another steadying breath and Riku feels a shiver ripple up his spine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“However, I have felt a disturbance in the darkness surrounding the world. Through the stars I felt a great flash of light, and some of the darkness recede.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gosh… You don’t think that Sora…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mickey trails off, his words chilling Riku even further. It would be just like Sora to run headfirst into danger if it meant saving his friends. Last he had heard, Sora, Donald, and Goofy were travelling from world to world in hopes that Sora would discover the Power of Waking. He hadn’t called recently to give an update, and it was more than likely that Donald and Goofy were keeping him on track and out of trouble. But that still didn’t mean Sora wouldn’t be able to convince them to run into the Keyblade Graveyard, weapons held high and his light shining strong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Master Yen Sid shakes his head, the ice threatening to overwhelm him melts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is not Sora’s light I sensed there. Rather, it is the light of one we believed to be lost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it Aqua?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again Master Yen Sid shakes his head, but before Riku can prod further, the old wizard continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It has been over a decade since I have last felt a light as strong as this one. If my memory does not fail me, I am certain Terra has emerged in the Keyblade Graveyard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s one of the lost Keybearers we were looking for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid nods as he closes his eyes. Mickey hums in thought, tilting his head to the side while his brows pinch together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The last time I spoke with Aqua, she said that she was going to take care of Terra. If he hadn’t fallen into the Realm of Darkness with her, then what happened to him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Terra’s fate was not to descend into the Realm of Darkness, but he was consumed by it nonetheless. As I am sure you know all too well, Riku, Xehanort is proficient when it comes to manipulating the darkness in people’s hearts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku couldn’t stop the wince that clenched his body, but Master Yen Sid seemed to pay it no mind, continuing to speak without batting an eye at his guilt over the past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Though the initial strength of Terra’s light was powerful, the strength of it has dwindled to a mere spark. I fear that if we do not react now, we may lose Terra’s light permanently.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We won’t let that happen, Master Yen Sid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku was momentarily startled by the conviction in his voice, but thought nothing of it when Mickey strongly agreed with him. Master Yen Sid gave a slight nod, though his expression and his voice still held the same gravity as it had before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make way to the Keyblade Graveyard. Tread careful, and avoid all confrontation if you can. Bring back our Guardian of Light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once more Mickey nods, sharp and enthusiastic and determined. Riku puts as much force and conviction as he can into his own nod. Master Yen Sid simply nods in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May your hearts be your guiding key."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that the call was finished. The deep blue of the main screen returned, and Riku let out a silent, heavy breath. Chip and Dale had definitely been right. Master Yen Sid was far more intense than he had ever been before when he was assigning missions. Riku turns his gaze toward the windows as Mickey put his Gummiphone to sleep and slid it back into his pocket. Outside the train was the swirling aurora of light from the rails and the ever present light of the stars shining in the distance. He’d been so focused on Master Yen Sid that he hadn’t even noticed when they left Radiant Garden’s atmosphere. The silence of the universe beyond the train car’s clatter felt both too quiet and too loud for the information that Master Yen Sid had given them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All Riku could think of was the fate Terra must have endured. Possessed by Xehanort for over a decade. He himself had only been possessed for a few months, back before he knew anything of Xehanort or what the man had been doing to other worlds. Back when he’d been nothing more than a kid, so desperate to see worlds beyond his own that he would pull careless stunts to see his dreams realized. That time he spent possessed and alone was unbearable, and that had only been a few months. Terra had suffered over ten years of possession, alone and trapped in his own body, used as a puppet to hurt everyone and everything… Riku couldn’t even bring himself to imagine what it must have been like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A light nudge to his hip breaks him free of his thoughts. He glances down at Mickey, and the other gives him a small, optimisitic smile in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about Terra too much. He broke free of Xehanort’s control all by himself, just like you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku blinks once, and blinks again, before a small smile of his own settles on his face. He gives the other a nod and, ever so slowly, takes a seat on one of the train car’s benches. Mickey sits down beside him, his feet dangling in the air and kicking lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra would be okay. Riku had broken free of Xehanort’s control on his own when he’d been a kid. It was hard, and it sucked more than anything else he’d ever dealt with, but he had done it. If Terra managed to break free on his own, then it was clear that he too was stronger than any darkness that hid in his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His smile lost some of its strength, however, when Master Yen Sid’s words came back to ring in his ears. He had said that Terra might not last much longer. Riku knew first hand that escaping Xehanort’s control took up a lot of energy. It had completely tanked him when he’d done it himself, and that was only after a few months of possession. There was an enormous difference between a few months and ten years. If Terra’s luck hasn’t already run dry, there’s a high chance they’ll find Terra unconscious somewhere. Hopefully that somewhere will be a place Xehanort hasn’t noticed yet. It wasn’t likely that would happen. Despite his age, Xehanort is quick-witted and aggressive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For now, all they can do was sit and wait and pray that luck is on their side. If they have any luck left, they’ll find him safe and sound.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>chapter 2 was hell to write but as the certified xiggy starslut, i'll probably be enjoying the process of writing the next chapter a whole lot more lmao. also big shoutout to Beastrage here on AO3, ive never had someone leave a comment that fast on a fic before in my life. it really made my day when i read that.</p><p>thanks for reading, y'all</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. To Die Free</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There are decisions to be made. Choices pop up, and every little detail must be considered.</p>
<p>Well, maybe not every little detail. It is, of course, a matter of the heart, and it's hard to forget that he doesn't have one. He's just no good at that kind of stuff anymore. Feelings are hard to consider when you only have the memories of them to go off of, and memories don't keep well the longer they sit.</p>
<p>Pah. What does it matter anyways? Braig held one hell of a grudge, but Xigbar can't feel that hatred. It won't be swift, but one thing's for certain; the kid's earned this.</p>
<p>Besides. He's got nothing better to do with his afternoon anyways. At least this is something to do.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i just really like writing xigbar. hes fun. im his biggest fan or whatever, who knows. hes just a fun guy.</p>
<p>lmao and thanks to Beastrage and agthoven for commenting on chapter 2. gave me the warm fuzzies knowin y'all are enjoying my writing!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Skidding down side of a steep hill that’s seen many better days doesn’t fill him with confidence, but then again, feeling things hasn’t really <em>been</em> his thing for the past however long. It’s a bumpy ride, his feet catching on every single gouge in the stone and earth. If it hadn’t been for the countless years of walking nearly every world, it’s likely he would have broken his ankles and fallen the rest of the way down. After all, sliding down a sixty-five degree slope while remaining upright probably wasn’t for anyone who wasn’t like him. It definitely helped that his flexibility had been jacked up. Becoming a Nobody does have a few perks, it seems. It also probably helps that he has the talent to manipulate space. Can’t break an ankle if you force the space in the gouges to act more like footstools than empty space. Of course, that’s also assuming he stays focused. It’s not usual for him to lose focus, but everyone has their moments. No one is perfect, after all, and least of all are Nobodies.</p>
<p>Gradually the slope levels out, and gradually his speed drops.</p>
<p>And so does half of his body as one foot catches in a particularly deep gouge.</p>
<p>All forward motion stops, but the momentum doesn’t. If it wasn’t for his increased flexibility, the tumble he’s taking would definitely break his ankle. His chin meets the earth first, his body crushing his arms underneath him next, and his knees connecting to stone directly after. It doesn’t hurt, not really, and he’s not filled with fear. Adrenaline, yes, but that definitely doesn’t count as an emotion. Fight or flight reflexes, nothing more.</p>
<p>The air rushes from his lungs in a great woosh, and for a brief moment Xigbar remains prone, coughing to catch his breath and his eye squeezed shut as the pain throbs in his chin and mouth. The pain in his chin is the first to dull, but the pain in his mouth stays the same. The taste of blood and bruised flesh comes only a few seconds after his chin begins to ache. Ah. Great. Welp. He’ll probably have to rethink his statement of how he was pretty much safe from falling. Seems his focus left him, despite his many years of existence and non-existence.</p>
<p>Getting to his feet and brushing himself off, Xigbar reflexively thanks the stars that no one was around to see him trip like that. In reality he couldn’t care less if someone saw him fall flat on his face while he’s an emotionless Nobody. The memory of embarrassment, however, is thankful that whatever reputation he has isn’t ruined by that little tumble he took. When he’s about as clean as he can get without a shower, and when the blood oozing into his mouth from his bitten tongue has been spit onto the ground, Xigbar makes his way towards the body of the kid.</p>
<p>It’s probably been twenty minutes since the kid’s collapsed to the ground, and five since he’s stopped squirming around in the dirt and dust. From where Xigbar’s descended the steep decline, he can see the kid lying face down, just as still as he had been when he’d been watching from the cliff’s edge. The kid’s keyblade was still in his hand, but as far as Xigbar knew, there was probably nothing to worry about. He hadn’t moved in five minutes at least. The kid’s probably unconscious, if not already dead. Fighting to reclaim a body from the old man is definitely a lot harder than it sounds, and the kid’s been under old man Xehanort’s control for a really long time. If he’s still alive, it would definitely be a miracle, especially with how the Lingering Will was fighting with the vessel. It was almost as if the Lingering Will was aiming to kill the vessel.</p>
<p>Step by step, Xigbar gets closer to the downed Keybearer, his one eye glued to the hand that was wrapped loosely around the Keyblade’s hilt. He’s felt the bite of that blade once before, and he has no intentions of feeling it ever again. Caution, though not truly felt, was never a bad thing to exercise. Self preservation doesn’t count as an emotion, after all.</p>
<p>The closer he gets, the slower he moves. The kid hasn’t moved the entire time he’s been walking, and stopping only a few feet away, it’s clear that the kid hasn’t passed quite yet. His eyes are closed, one bruising to a darker and darker blue and purple as time passes, the other pressed against the dirt. The kid heaves and wheezes, each breath shallow and harsh. The right leg is turned at an angle all too wrong halfway down the thigh, and the kid’s left forearm is no better. Blood seeps from wounds where his body was left unprotected by his piddly amount of armor. But despite all of his visible wounds, the kid is very much still alive. It might not be for much longer, all things considered, but alive was still alive. Xigbar would have found it impressive, if he had a heart to feel awe with.</p>
<p>Two choices sprout in Xigbar’s mind.</p>
<p>The first choice: he could grab the kid’s body and drag it right back to Xehanort. Though the Lingering Will and that weird parasitic Heartless thing had pushed the old man right out of the body, with the kid as damaged as he is now, and totally unconscious to boot, it would be all too easy to possess him again. It’d take some time to heal, especially with a break in the kid’s femur, but as far as Xigbar was concerned, they had all the time in the world before the Seven Guardians of Light were found, collected, and assembled. Plus they had potions, elixirs, and Curaga spells. It probably wouldn’t make for the best of recoveries, but the kid’s body would work long enough to stomp Sora and his ragtag crew into the dirt. Plus it would probably win him some brownie points with the old man. They had worked hard to turn this kid into a vessel all those years ago. It would be such a shame to let that all go to waste now.</p>
<p>The second choice: he could drag the kid’s body off to some remote spot of this old battlefield and just bury him. It’s obvious enough the kid probably won’t last much longer if he isn’t given some kind of medical help. He probably has some crushed ribs in there with how hard he’s wheezing, and Xigbar’s no doctor, but if one of the kid’s lungs is punctured, then he has a half hour at best before his lungs and heart are crushed by the pressure in his chest cavity. There’s no telling how fragile the kid is for the time being, and there’s certainly no telling if the kid would even survive if Xigbar dragged him through a Dark Corridor. Best case scenario, if Xigbar drags him through a Dark Corridor and the kid winds up dead because of the stress it would cause his body, Xehanort could simply tell him to get rid of the body. He *was* in pretty bad shape, and if he escaped Xehanort’s clutches once, there’s no telling how many more times the kid would do it just to cause them problems. Assuming he lived long enough to be possessed again, that is. What was that saying again? Something about shooting a horse with a broken leg? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s easy enough to say the kid’s got more than a broken leg working against him here. He’s also got a broken arm, and maybe some messed up ribs. If there was ever a time to shoot a horse, it’d probably be now.</p>
<p>Actually, speaking of shooting a horse with a broken leg, a third option pops up in Xigbar’s head.</p>
<p>The third choice: Xigbar could just shoot him and be done with it. He could off the kid where he lies, face down and unconscious. It’d be quick, it’d be clean, and it would be the most merciful. The kid was already in such a bad state, and he’d won his freedom from the old man’s clutches through sheer Lingering Will alone. Dying a free man is infinitely better than dying a vessel, that’s for sure. Not that Xigbar could really tell the difference without a heart, but he distinctly remembers feeling something like that way back in the day when he had one. The kid could die in peace if Xigbar simply shot him in the skull. Fast, painless, free.</p>
<p>As if on cue, Xigbar’s scar and bony eye plate itch up a storm, and the memory of rage fills his head.</p>
<p>No, shooting the kid in the skull was too merciful. This was the kid that had essentially burst his right eye and carved a scar down the left side of his face and neck over a decade ago. He might not be able to feel spite, rage, or hate, but Braig sure could, and in honor of his bitter old Somebody, Xigbar would refrain from giving the kid a peaceful death. He’ll give the kid the death of a free man, but definitely not a swift and painless death. That would be too good for this kid.</p>
<p>Xigbar glances towards the kid’s hand, the one that still clings loosely to the hilt of his Keyblade. Xigbar takes a tentative step towards the kid’s hand, and when nothing happens, Xigbar stretches his leg out to toe the weapon away from the kid. It’s not easy, and it definitely isn’t difficult, but Xigbar manages to free the weapon from the kid’s grasp and kick it out of his reach. The Keyblade says nothing to him, whispers nothing, not even stirs when it’s separated from its master. It simply disappears in a swirl of light, no longer anchored in this world by its master’s touch. Good riddance too. He’s got no intentions of getting yet another scar from the kid. The few wounds he got when he had been swaying the kid into the darkness were more than enough for him.</p>
<p>He waits for a few moments, watching the kid as he lays there. Nothing happens. The kid doesn’t even stir when his Keyblade’s gone. Good. That means it’s that much safer for Xigbar to start manhandling him.</p>
<p>And though Xigbar is no wimp when it comes to physical strength, bending down and trying to scoop the kid up proves to be a whole lot more difficult than he originally thought it would be. Part of him finds it bizarre that a vessel of Xehanort’s would weigh so much more than Xehanort himself (the guy was probably only weighs 150 pounds soaking wet), but part of him reminds himself that Xehanort is a 90 year old man, and that the kid he’s trying to lift is probably somewhere around 30 by now and has a rather stocky build for a person three inches shorter than the old man. The kid’s probably near 200 pounds as dead weight. It certainly feels like 200 pounds.</p>
<p>It takes him entirely too long to try and lift the kid into some kind of bridal style pose, and even then Xigbar only manages to get the kid a foot or two off the ground before his spine starts to protest. At that point, he gives up trying to lift the kid with any dignity and instead grabs him by his good leg and drags. His body snags every other step on the packed dirt and stone, but truthfully, this is as best as he’s going to get. Besides, lifting him bridal style was also probably way too good for him.</p>
<p>Spitting out another mouthful of blood, Xigbar considers his options. Where would be a good place to bury this kid? Probably nowhere dark or depressing. The kid had pretty much wound up killing himself escaping old man Xehanort’s control, and Xehanort had always spoken of the kid’s mentor with a mix of hate and respect. Something something something, blah blah blah, it was always about how much the man loved the light and only the light. If this kid is any amount the same, it’d probably be best if he was buried somewhere with light. Not that this place is full of cheery, sunshiney spots to use as a burial ground, but somewhere that wasn’t a cavern, crevice, or valley. Probably not out in the open either, but hey, what does Xigbar know? The kid probably won’t know, and the dead can’t care where they’ve been laid to rest. Xigbar doesn’t have the patience to try and appease non-existent ghosts, anyways.</p>
<p>It’s slow going, dragging a half dead person around, but at the very least Xigbar finds that hunting for an okay spot to bury him is enough to keep himself entertained. It isn’t the most thrilling or thorough entertainment, but that’s fine. Without a heart, anything that was even the slightest bit stimulating was good enough.</p>
<p>He passes a nook, untouched by other dead Keyblades. But there isn’t enough light shining into it. He moves on. He discovers a cave that has Keyblades sticking out of the ground like burial markers. But it’s still too dark, and the opening of the cave is too crowded with Keyblades to bury him. He continues forwards. He finds an empty plain, pockmarked with craters and gouges and decorated with ancient Keyblades jutting out of the earth. But the place is too uneven, and the edges of the gouges and craters are unstable at best, and one wrong step away from crumbling at worst. He pushes farther.</p>
<p>The kid’s body becomes too cumbersome to try and drag everywhere, so Xigbar settles for a half lift. He winds his arms around the kid’s torso and heaves upwards. It’s not quite as heavy as lifting his whole body, but it doesn’t make his fist ache from gripping ankles and pant legs too tightly. He spits another mouthful of blood and keeps trudging, taking his sweet time to choose an okay spot to bury the kid.</p>
<p>Xigbar must have been too far in his own thoughts, dragging this kid around everywhere. It’s only until it’s too late that he notices the sound of shoes pounding ever closer on packed earth. Two pairs it sounds like, one a pair of boots with zippers and laces, and the other with a bit of a harsh slap to the soles of the foot. Neither pair sounds like any of the gaits of the other Organization XIII members, and if any of the others had need of him, they simply would have opened a Dark Corridor nearby and snapped whatever message they had at him. An emotionless sigh escapes through his nose, and he rearranges his grip on the kid’s body. With one arm busy holding up an almost-corpse, Xigbar can only summon one bowgun. But one should be enough for this, right? Right?</p>
<p>The memory of exasperation seizes him. Another sigh escapes him. He’s too old to deal with this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lmao im so bad at trying to figure out when i should stop writing that i have to bother people when it comes to deciding when to stop. shout out to the discord servers i annoy constantly when i need to figure out when to stop writing. next chapter'll probably be fun to write too. at least im having a good time lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Guiding Keys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's almost unfair how good Sora is at everything. Not academically, of course, Riku's seen his grades back when they were still regularly attending school. No, Sora has always been exceptional where emotions and hearts are involved.</p>
<p>If someone was hurting emotionally, Sora would know about it.</p>
<p>If someone's heart was uncertain or lost, Sora could find it and right it.</p>
<p>If someone who's been lost for a decade without a hope of finding them, Sora would find them.</p>
<p>And wandering around a haunted, empty desert in search of someone who's lost, Riku envies Sora's talent in the matters of the heart. If Riku could harness even the slightest bit of talent Sora has with this sort of thing, then maybe they could find Terra.</p>
<p>Well, if Riku was proficient in anything, it would be his willingness to try everything.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i had nothing to do at work yesterday, so like some kind of writing fiend, i wrote basically a whole ass chapter and 2/3s of a second chapter. something about the second chapter is bothering me, though, and im not sure what, so ill be trying to rewrite it and fix it today after work and chores.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It almost feels like the train car moves simultaneously too fast and too slow. It wasn’t long ago that the tracks of light the car travelled on dipped them out of the auroras of galaxies and into the atmosphere of a new world. Between then and the time it takes touching down on the earth of this new world, however, it feels like a century has passed.</p>
<p>It’s not that Riku is eager to explore this world. He knows what this place is and what it might have been. He knows that around any cliff or beyond any hill could be the enemy. He knows this place is dangerous. He has no desire to run head first into what is essentially a nest of Xehanorts and Xehanort vessels. But there’s someone here on this world, all alone and without any backup. He has no desire to leave a trapped Keybearer on this world, forget about ignoring an order from Master Yen Sid. Somewhere out there on the face of this world is one of the three lost Keybearers. Terra. The one out of the three that Riku had assumed would be the hardest to find. The way Master Yen Sid had spoken of what he sensed… If there was a chance to save Terra from this scarred and haunted place, then it would be a very slim chance. And Riku would take it. Even if it meant exploring the home base of Xehanort and the Xehanorts. He couldn’t let him fall prey to whatever Xehanort would do to him if he was discovered. He’s eager to rescue Terra, that’s all. </p>
<p>The train car finally pulls to a stop. Riku can practically feel the all-consuming darkness that seeps across the grounds of this world, and the door hasn’t even slid open yet. When it does open, there’s no way for him to suppress the shudder that snakes up his spine. It reeks of Xehanort’s power, the same corrupted darkness that had torn him apart at the cracks in his once weak heart. Xehanort is on this world alright, that much Riku is certain of. The first step out of the train car doesn’t feel any better than when the door had opened, but at the very least Riku manages to shove the threatening shiver away from him. The steps that follow still aren’t feeling better. At least the urge to twist away from it is shrinking. He’s felt this darkness before. It’s only a matter of time before he gets used to shoving it away again. </p>
<p>Behind him, Mickey hops out of the train car, and Riku nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound. He had been paying so much attention to the way the world felt that he forgot to actually look at and listen to the world around him. Thankfully, Mickey doesn’t seem to notice, and if he does, he politely pays it no mind.</p>
<p>“At least this time we *know* what world our lost Keyblade Wielder is on!”</p>
<p>Though the effect is weak, Mickey’s attempt at levity eases him just a little bit. He’s not here alone, and with any luck, they won’t even see the enemy. Hopefully they could just slip in and slip out, unseen and with Terra by their sides. Riku gives Mickey a nod and a weak smile.</p>
<p>“Come on,” he starts, dismissing the train car for the time being. “We’d better hurry.”</p>
<p>“Right!”</p>
<p>There’s a moment where Mickey’s optimism falters, and Riku cocks his head in curiosity.</p>
<p>“We know Terra is somewhere in the Keyblade Graveyard, but where do we start?”</p>
<p>And Riku falters for a moment as well.</p>
<p>He turns to look out across the horizons of this world they stand on, and Mickey makes an excellent point. Cliffs rise high and jagged all across the horizon, and despite the unique pockmarks of craters, gouges from magical attacks, and countless Keyblades from the fallen, each cliff looks the same. Everything is made of dusty orange stone and packed orange dirt. Where the Keyblades jut out of the earth, they stand in swarms. Thousands of them, each and every one of them with their hilts offered to the sky. And where there is open ground, it stretches far into the distance, farther than the eye can see. </p>
<p>Where <em>do</em> they start?</p>
<p>Determined to hold onto a shred of optimism, Riku looks back to Mickey and grins.</p>
<p>“Well, every journey begins with a single step.”</p>
<p>Mickey recognizes the phrase immediately, a jovial shine stealing over his eyes and his tail swaying a little bit faster. “That sounds like a good place to start!”</p>
<p>Mickey starts towards the easiest path leading up the side of a nearby cliff, and Riku follows a step behind him. Climbing to a high vantage point would definitely cut down on a little bit of time. It wouldn’t help them when it came to the far sides of cliffs they couldn’t see, or in the endless swarms of Keyblades long forgotten, but at the very least they could mark out the flat plains and the sides of hills and cliffs visible to them. Who knows? Maybe they’ll get lucky, and spot Terra somewhere just on the other side of this cliff?</p>
<p>It turns out that luck is not on their side.</p>
<p>With only a few slips on loose stones on the way up, it’s obvious that finding Terra on this world would still be a difficult task. On the other side of the cliff they stand on is the same emptiness they’d seen before. Some of the clifftops nearby are just as vacant. Keyblades decorate the landscape in sporadic patterns. There is no trace of anyone in the open spaces they can see, and as predicted, the swarms of Keyblades in sight are so densely packed that spotting a prone shape would be impossible without wading through them. They have no clues as to where Terra might be. To make matters even worse, he’s actually seen Terra before, and Riku has no idea what it is exactly he’s looking for. Though it’s unlikely to see an innocent world hopper travelling across this world, Riku is pretty sure he hasn’t seen every single one of Xehanort’s new Organization members. At the very least they would stink of the darkness. </p>
<p>“Sure is a big world, huh Riku?”</p>
<p>Riku lets out a whuff of a laugh. “No kidding. Makes Destiny Islands look kind of small.”</p>
<p>“Makes home look like a peanut gallery, that’s for sure.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Riku casts his gaze around the lands he can see.</p>
<p>“So Riku… What is your nose telling you?”</p>
<p>Riku snorts and chokes on a startled laugh. He barely catches his breath before he speaks. “My nose?”</p>
<p>Mickey nods with an enthusiastic “uh-huh!”, and Riku stares at him, dumbfounded, grasping at the last few escaped strands of his breath. “I don’t know if you remember it, but back in Castle Oblivion, you were sort of talking to yourself.”</p>
<p>“I… Did a lot of talking to myself back then.”</p>
<p>“If I remember it right, you were sniffing yourself and talking about darkness?”</p>
<p>And it hits Riku right in the soft spot of the skull. He could smell the darkness sinking into his skin back then, back in the illusions of the Realm of Darkness and the places where fallen worlds slept. He had stopped in his rush through Castle Oblivion, confused and distracted by the smell of darkness that had been hounding him everywhere he went. He hadn’t known it was darkness, not during the first part of his journey through the castle, but after a while he’d placed his finger on the name of that smell.</p>
<p>And then Mickey’s heart had reached out to him.</p>
<p>Mickey had heard him talking about smelling darkness.</p>
<p>All at once the blood rushes to his face, and he swears that the shade of it matches the colour of Mickey’s clothes. Mickey bursts into a fit of giggles, no doubt at the sight of Riku turning brighter than a tomato. Though he knows Mickey means no ill will with his laughter, Riku feels his whole body burn with embarrassment. Sometimes it’d be nice if everyone forgot about all the dumb things he did as a kid. Whoever trusted him with the kind of power to wield Keyblades and hop from world to world probably should have thought to teach him a little bit about it before running off. Maybe then he could have avoided embarrassing things, like telling people they smell like darkness and light, and allowing the darkness to overtake him.</p>
<p>Mickey’s laughter dies down quickly enough, but it does little to ease the mortification pumping in Riku’s blood.</p>
<p>“I was just wondering if you could smell Terra’s light the same way you can smell darkness is all. We don’t have a whole lot to go off of right now.”</p>
<p>To that, Riku just manages a shrug and looks off at a horizon filled with Keyblades to avoid facing his embarrassment head on. “I guess I could. They smell kind of different, light and darkness.”</p>
<p>“Can you smell anything right now?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know… But I could give it a try.”</p>
<p>And give it a try he does. Riku closes his eyes and draws a deep breath in through his nose. All around him is the stench of darkness, thick and cloying to the point it could have been suffocating. Xehanort and the Organization must have been here for some time if the smell has gotten that bad. It’s only been about a year since he, Sora, and Kairi had taken down the Castle That Never Was, and it’s been probably less than six months since their official ‘unofficial’ agreement to be Guardians of the Light under Master Yen Sid. A little under a year it’s been since their Mark of Mastery, and that means it’s been a little under a year since the Organization moved their base camp to the Keyblade Graveyard permanently. It doesn’t seem like enough time has passed for the smell of darkness to get so bad, but Riku tries not to linger on it. It’s not important how long the Organization has been holed up on this world. What’s important is finding Terra.</p>
<p>Through the stench of darkness is the smell of light, perfumy and, well, light. It can be just as stifling as the smell of darkness that permeates this world, but for now it’s weak, no doubt originating from Mickey beside him. As far as Riku knows, Mickey has never used a lick of darkness. It’s only natural he smells more of light than he would darkness.</p>
<p>Riku draws in another deep breath, this time doing his best to ignore Mickey and the surrounding darkness. He can smell the dry earth and stone beneath him. He can smell the permanent scent of hot metal and leather. He can smell the darkness settling deeper and deeper into the very fibres of this world. But there’s no trace of light beyond where he and Mickey stand. There’s not even a hint of it from where a light breeze sweeps by.</p>
<p>But surely he would smell something, right? Ever since ridding himself of Xehanort’s control, his sense of smell for these kinds of things has been so much stronger. He’d been able to tell where Heartless were swarming, and where the hearts of downtrodden people accidently beckoned the darkness. He’d gotten so good at just deciphering smells like some kind of greyhound that being unable to pinpoint any trace of light beyond himself and Mickey was a little bit baffling. Was this world really so massive that any traces of light were near imperceivable? Or was it the smell of darkness that masked everything so thoroughly that he couldn’t find a hint of light?</p>
<p>He must have been standing and sniffing at nothing for too long, because Mickey tugged lightly on Riku’s hand.</p>
<p>“Did you find anything, Riku?”</p>
<p>Opening his eyes and shaking his head, Riku spends a few moments trying to gather his thoughts.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what it is, but I can’t sense anything but darkness out here. Maybe the world is too big, or the darkness from Xehanort’s heart is too strong, but I can’t find anything.”</p>
<p>Mickey utters a soft “oh”, and for a few heartbeats the both of them stand in silence, wondering what it is they should do. Mickey, however, doesn’t let the silence stand for long.</p>
<p>“Well, maybe that didn’t work out, but so long as we follow our hearts and believe in ourselves, I’m sure we’ll find him! We promised Yen Sid that we would, after all.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he hums, and once more casts his eyes out to the world around him. “As long as we follow our hearts.”</p>
<p>Though it’s been at least two years since this whole escapade to save the known World began, Riku still finds this talk of hearts, light and dark, loving your friends and believing in yourself wholeheartedly to be a little corny. It’s definitely not because he doesn’t like it or anything, it’s just that it sounds so much like what the characters of those cheesy Saturday morning cartoons would say that makes it feel a little unbelievable. To think, he’d be the one from those cartoons, saying corny things to his corny friends, all while having the time of his life. There’s trauma, of course. What kind of apocalypse-averting action-movie life doesn’t have trauma? But there’s definitely been fun, too. Sora by far is the corniest, with Kairi and Mickey being a close second, but even serious people like Lea and Master Yen Sid could wind up saying some really cheesy things. Master Yen Sid had said something really cheesy earlier when he had spoken to them aboard the train car, too.</p>
<p>
  <em> "May your hearts be your guiding key.” </em>
</p>
<p>That sounds like advice Sora would give him if Riku were to ask for his help right now. But knowing Sora, it would actually work for him. His heart <em>was</em> his guiding key, especially when it came to tracking people.</p>
<p>Tracking people…</p>
<p>“Is everything okay, Riku?”</p>
<p>This time Riku does startle. Again he had been lost in his own thoughts. So lost that he hadn’t even noticed when Mickey had made his way over to one of the edges of the clifftop they were on. Mickey was looking back at him now, tail twitching and head cocked, waiting for him to answer. Riku nods hastily. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking about what Master Yen Sid said…”</p>
<p>“Oh?”</p>
<p>“‘May your hearts be your guiding key’, I think it was."</p>
<p>Mickey tilts his head in the other direction and turns to face him fully. “Yen Sid says that all the time. Is there something funny about it?”</p>
<p>“No no, not that. I was just…” And Riku trails off, floating off somewhere into his own thoughts again.</p>
<p>
  <em>May your hearts be your guiding key.</em>
</p>
<p>He had never known Terra before he was lost, but everyone’s hearts were connected somehow, right? He’d seen Mickey’s heart reach out to others before, and Mickey has definitely reached out to him like that at least once or twice before. Maybe if he tried something like that, letting his heart reach out to Terra, letting his heart call to Terra’s heart… No, that would be near impossible. Riku had never met Terra before, and Mickey said he’s only ever seen Terra. They never formally spoke to one another before. There was no way Riku would be able to call out to Terra’s heart like this. There just wasn’t that connection between their hearts for it to even work.</p>
<p>For a brief moment, Sora flashes in Riku’s mind, nothing but smiles and laughter.</p>
<p>Sora would try anyways, even if there was no hope left for him. Sora was always so good at making magic happen, and that’s not even considering how ridiculously lucky he is. Sora would never give up on anything. A fond, competitive spark ignites in Riku’s chest at the thought of Sora. Well, if Sora would try it, then so would he. What kind of Keyblade Master would he be if he let Sora make all of that magic happen? Pretty lousy one, he thinks.</p>
<p>And so Riku tries.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know what he’s doing, or how he’s supposed to call out to Terra’s heart. He shuts his eyes. It seems like an obvious step to do so, but after that, Riku has no idea. But he still tries. He calls in his mind with all of his might, shouting Terra’s name in his head and hoping with all his strength that Terra responds. He gets nothing. So he squeezes his shut eyes tighter, his nose scrunching and his mouth twisting into a little frown. He calls and calls, trying with all his might to send a message, a blink of light, hell, even a mental sneeze Terra’s way in hopes of the other hearing him. And still he gets nothing. And he tries harder, and harder, and harder. Terra <em>has</em> to respond. They’re here to help him, here to save him from whatever lurks on this haunted world, here to bring him back where he belongs, safe and sound with friends.</p>
<p>Something pulses back.</p>
<p>It’s a weak pulse, but it’s definitely not his heart that beats like that. It’s strong and firm and solid like the earth under their feet, if a bit on the faint side. But it’s a response.</p>
<p>Riku’s eyes snap open, and Mickey springs back a step, a comical, startled cry slipping past his lips.</p>
<p>“I can feel him.”</p>
<p>Mickey looks dumbfounded. “What?”</p>
<p>“I can <em>feel</em> him, Mickey. I can feel his heart!”</p>
<p>Excitement starts to pour into Riku’s bones, and seconds later that same excitement appears to fill Mickey.</p>
<p>“That’s amazing, Riku! Can you tell where he is?”</p>
<p>Riku hesitates, and scrunches his eyes closed again.</p>
<p>'<em>Please,’</em> he begs in his heart. <em>'Tell me where you are. We’re here to help.’</em></p>
<p>Terra’s heart pulses again, a little bit stronger this time. It feels like a tug, incredibly weak, but so full of hope. It pulls his heart towards the right, and Riku opens his eyes to look towards the feeling of that pulse.</p>
<p>A cliff rises in the distance, a little bit taller than the one they’re standing on, and from the left side of that rising cliff comes that pulse, so very faint yet so very hopeful.</p>
<p>“That way.”</p>
<p>Riku doesn’t give Mickey a chance to respond. He’s already taking off, hopping down the side of the cliff they stood on and skidding down the sides as quickly and carefully as he can. He can hear Mickey following along behind him, the sound of pebbles and dirt coming loose as they descend the cliffside. Riku nearly trips once on the way down, but a little bit of flailing and scrambling keeps him upright until he reaches the bottom. Mickey almost isn’t as lucky, his small arms pinwheeling at his sides when they reach the very bottom, but Riku offers him an arm to steady himself, and once he’s gotten his balance back, Riku takes off towards the direction he felt the pulse in.</p>
<p>
  <em>'If you can hear me, Terra, please keep telling me where you are!’</em>
</p>
<p>Riku gets another pulse, this time slightly to the right of where it was when it pulsed before. He course corrects just a little bit with Mickey hot on his heels. Thankfully, Mickey doesn’t ask any questions about how he knows where Terra is. He’s probably well acquainted with the intricacies of speaking through his heart anyways. It’d be hard to believe if Mickey wasn’t aware of all the special dynamics of speaking through his heart. He’s been at this a lot longer than Riku has. It’s only natural that he would know.</p>
<p>Another pulse snags his attention, and Riku tails it like a hound after a crook. He runs as fast as he can along the edge of the cliff he’d felt the pulse behind earlier, chasing the slow, rhythmic beats of Terra’s heart calling back to him.</p>
<p>For a brief moment, Terra’s heart falters and fades. Riku keeps running, keeps calling out to him. <em>'Don’t give up,’</em> he begs the other. <em>'Keep calling. We won’t give up on you! Please don’t give up on us!’</em></p>
<p>The pulsing doesn’t return, and Riku begs even harder, begs even louder, begs with all of his being that Terra responds to him. Once more Terra’s heart pulses, this time weaker and less hopeful, but it feels closer. Riku’s heart speeds up, and he pushes himself to run faster. A quick glance back confirms that Mickey is having no problems keeping up with him, and Riku turns to face forwards. He ignores everything else, focusing entirely on the thrum of Terra’s heart and where his feet land. Nothing is more important than chasing down that persistent pulse. Master Yen Sid’s words ring in his ears once more, and Riku tries to push himself even harder. They’ll make it, they have to make it. Terra’s life might very well depend on it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>have y'all ever wondered what gave sora all that magic heart power???? sometimes it kinda feels like hes constantly op. like he just has powers that no one should ever have. but hes such a good lad, and hes such a pure lad. i cant fault him for being op when hes such a good kid lmao. its just easier to ask nomura what the fuck is happening LMAO</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Retrieval</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Blood had never been scary for Riku. He's seen it countless times in his life, just like everyone else does.</p><p>You trip, fall, and scrape your knee, and blood takes care of the wound.</p><p>You accidentally cut yourself with a knife, and blood rushes out of your finger.</p><p>You get into fights that get a little bit too physical, and blood drips from your nose.</p><p>But seeing the blood come from a wound like that, and in such an abnormal, sluggish way... Riku will never get used to it. At least it isn't his blood that's falling.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao i was gonna post this yesterday but my copy of the ffvii remake FINALLY came in the mail and i played all day yesterday. i was right to fall in love with roche when squeenix first released his photo. what an asshole lmao</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t take more than ten minutes of switching between sprinting and jogging before Riku’s nose starts to pick up the smells he’d been hoping for. Puffs of the perfumy smell of light and the near smothering smell of lingering darkness. It’s a darkness different from Xehanort’s. He isn’t sure if he should be comforted by the fact that the darkness is different from Xehanort’s, or if he should be bothered by it. It doesn’t matter now. He can decide later. As well as light and darkness, there’s an unidentified scent mixed in with the two. It smells almost like the stale air of an abandoned room, but it’s so smothered by the other two smells that Riku isn’t sure if it’s really there or not. That’s something else to worry about later, he decides. What’s most important is following that smell of light. It has to be Terra’s light.</p><p>Running eventually turns up another clue, but it’s one that Mickey spots before him.</p><p>“Riku, look! Beneath us!”</p><p>For a moment, Riku considers stopping. When he looks down, however, he realizes it’s not needed. Under their feet are tracks in the topsoil of the packed earth. Riku catches the tail end of tracks that appear as if something big and heavy had been dragging along the ground, and shortly after the tracks turn smaller, but still just as deep in the earth. Spots and speckles of dark brown stain the earth, and it only takes a few careful sniffs to identify what it is.</p><p>Blood.</p><p>Riku can’t be sure what’s happening, but considering how difficult it was to break through the skin of most of the Organization XIII members, he’s willing to bet that something very not good has happened. And though his stamina is flagging, begging him to slow from a sprint to a jog, Riku pushes onwards, Mickey on his heels.</p><p>“Let’s hope we’re not too late!” is all Riku can say, breathless as he is. He hears Mickey hum his agreement.</p><p>Slowly but surely, the smell of light and darkness grows stronger, and slowly but surely, Riku feels the presence of Terra growing stronger. His heart had stuttered in it’s pulses a few times, but each time it was easier to encourage Terra to keep calling to him. Running along the side of a particularly steep cliff, Terra’s light seems to grow more potent. A good sign.</p><p>Riku skids around the corner of a cliff, and he’s barely fast enough at summoning Way to the Dawn to block the incoming shot before it pierces his heart. Mickey skids to a stop beside him, Star Cluster at the ready.</p><p>“Seems like you got a whole lot faster since the last time I saw you, kiddo.”</p><p>The voice sends a slight shudder up his spine, but he’s strong enough to not let anything show. Before him stands a member of Organization XIII Riku knows well enough. It suddenly makes sense what that strange stagnant smell was. All the Organization’s Nobody members smelt that way. Xigbar smells of that strange scent the strongest.</p><p>Like every other Nobody, Xigbar’s proportions are unsettling and wrong. His arms and legs are too long, his waist is ridiculously thin, and he’s uncomfortably rubbery in the ways that he moves. A mouth that’s far too wide for any normal man twists into a grin that nearly splits the man’s face in half, and each one of his teeth are just as sharp as Riku remembers them being. In one hand, Xigbar holds one of his signature bowguns, held lax at chest height and off to the side. Another shiver works its way up Riku’s spine, but it isn’t Xigbar that causes it. It’s what he’s holding in his other hand.</p><p>Terra.</p><p>It has to be Terra. Riku has never seen someone like that in Organization XIII before. Long, tangled brown hair, tan skin, a solid grey t-shirt, and beige hakama. Riku can’t see the other’s face from the way he dangles in Xigbar’s grip, head and arms stretched and limp, but he’s certain he’s never seen him before. He was too normal, too neutral for a group of eccentric weirdos like Organization XIII. Not to mention the few visible wounds he can see from here. The right thigh looks broken, as does the left arm, and blood seems to drip from his hidden face and places scattered across his body. Surely the Organization wouldn’t attack one of their own kind, would they? Definitely not without good reason. It has to be Terra.</p><p>“My eye is up here, kid. Didn’t they teach you any manners on that little backwater island of yours?”</p><p>Riku’s eyes snap back up to Xigbar’s face, and the grin that had been sitting there earlier has already taken on a strained and twisted look. It does nothing to soothe Riku’s nerves, but he ignores it as best he can. Instead he calls out to Terra’s heart, watching the body Xigbar was carrying in his peripherals. A pulse, weak and tired, rings in Riku’s heart. At the same time, he manages to catch the twitch of the other’s right hand. So it *is* Terra. The severity of the situation immediately ramps up, and Riku squeezes the hilt of Way to the Dawn. His keyblade thrums softly in response, ever by his side.</p><p>“You seem to be pretty relaxed for someone who’s all alone out in the middle of nowhere.” Though he forced his words full of venom, Xigbar brushes him off with a far too cheeky shrug for someone without feelings.</p><p>“See, that’s where you’re wrong, kid,” Xigbar sneers. “I’m *not* all alone in the middle of nowhere. Isn’t that right?”</p><p>Xigbar turns his attention away from them to jostle Terra, who still sits limp in his grasp. Terra’s right hand twitches again, but he doesn’t move more than that. It’s hard to tell if Xigbar noticed that twitch, but it doesn’t matter when he turns back to look at them.</p><p>“We’re out here on a little pleasure walk, y’see? We’re not bothering anyone, so why don’t you two run along and go play ‘Knights in Shining Armor’ somewhere else?”</p><p>Mickey’s voice is hard when he speaks up. “It doesn’t look like a pleasure walk to me."</p><p>And Xigbar just shrugs again. “Ah, I guess it’s just a little pleasure walk for me, then. The old man can get so tedious with his plans, you know?”</p><p>“Oh I know,” Riku all but spits at him. “But we’re not here to talk.”</p><p>Xigbar raises the tip of his bowgun to scratch as his chin and he hums in thought. “You sure you’re not here just for the sightseeing? There’s a lot of interesting ghosts around these parts, you know. I’m sure you and your little crew could make some real good friends with them before you bite the dust.”</p><p>Riku clenches the grip of his keyblade tighter, and all it earns him is a chuckle from the Nobody. “We’re here for our friend.”</p><p>“Ohhhh, you’re here for your friend, huh? Didn’t know you knew the kid so well.”</p><p>Something on Riku’s face must have changed, because a malicious, knowing grin spreads across the entirety of Xigbar’s face. “You know, I think you two are lying to me.” Again, Xigbar jostles Terra in his grip, and he raises his bowgun to point directly at them. “I think you two are just trying to act tough, so we’ll run with our tails between our legs. Isn’t that right?”</p><p>“Wrong.” Mickey says. He takes a strong step forward, eyes hard and determination sweeping through his body like a wave. “We’re here for Terra.”</p><p>And just like that recognition sparks in Xigbar’s usually lifeless eye. “Ah, that’s it! I was wondering what the kid’s name was. It’s been a long time since I heard someone call him that, you know? I’m so used to calling him ‘Xehanort’ that I forgot he even had a name to begin with.”</p><p>That ignites a cold flame in Riku’s heart. He’s used to calling him Xehanort? Master Yen Sid must have been right, then. Terra had been manipulated and consumed by Xehanort’s darkness, and left as a prisoner in his own body for ten years. Horror begins to swell in his body, but it’s easily quashed by a righteous anger on Terra’s behalf. Ten years lost to that man… To be used as a puppet, meant to harm everyone and everything for ten years straight… For Riku, there was only one option. Xigbar couldn’t be allowed to walk away with him.</p><p>“Geez Louise, what is it with kids with keyblades? You all have that scary look down pat.”</p><p>Riku ignores him. There’s no time to waste. The faster he defeats Xigbar, the faster they can get Terra away from him, and the faster they can get Terra away from him, the faster they can get him back to Master Yen Sid. With wounds like those, and who knows how many others they can’t see on his body, it isn’t likely Terra will last forever. Riku takes a step towards them, and Mickey does the same. Xigbar seems to notice the danger of having two Keyblade Masters advance on him, and hastens to keep them in their places. The bowgun the Nobody held swings downward until the tip is planted firmly in Terra’s knotted hair. Riku freezes, and he feels Mickey do the same to his right.</p><p>“Easy now,” Xigbar starts, his voice smooth as honey. “You don’t want anything *bad* to happen to poor old Terra, now do you?”</p><p>“You’re bluffing,” Riku blurts out. Xigbar blinks at him, but he continues anyway. “You can’t hurt him. Xehanort needs him.”</p><p>A small bubble of smug pride balloons in Riku’s chest when Xigbar stands there and thinks about it, his index finger rubbing idly on the trigger. Xigbar couldn’t hurt Terra, just like he and Mickey couldn’t leave him here. Xehanort needs vessels. What for, Riku isn’t sure- something about summoning the X-blade,- but he wouldn’t have gone through so much effort to collect thirteen bodies to possess if he could simply throw them away. Goaded by Xigbar’s pause, Riku speaks again.</p><p>“Xehanort would have your head if you killed one of his pawns.”</p><p>Terra’s hand twitches again, this time a little bit stronger. His heart seems to pulse again, and like his hand, it possesses a little more strength. A little more hope. Riku tries to convey through his heart that they would not leave him here for dead without changing his expression. Terra’s heart beats again, stronger still. Filled with hope. The hope is infectious, and it begins to swell in Riku as well.</p><p>Xigbar smiles far too widely, and like a needle to a balloon, he pops that hope he harbors.</p><p>“That’s where you’re wrong.”</p><p>Riku can’t stop the soft, confused noise that echoes in his throat, and Mickey mimics the noise. Xigbar’s grin only gets nastier.</p><p>“Xehanort needs vessels, yes, but it doesn’t matter what state the vessel is in.”</p><p>A chill shoots down Riku’s spine.</p><p>“Y’see, even if I bring the kid back dead, I’m home free. It’s not optimal, but a dead body just makes it easier to possess. Nothing to fight back against the darkness.”</p><p>A laugh tears out of Xigbar’s throat, vicious and yet still so hollow.</p><p>“Good ol’ Terra here had to go and cause us problems. Slithered out of Xehanort’s grasp somehow.” Xigbar shrugs one shoulder and shakes his head. “It’s a wonder the kid didn’t die doing it. You should’ve seen that fight. A real shocker. But it doesn’t matter if he died or if he lived. Xehanort can use corpses just like he can use living bodies.”</p><p>Another laugh echoes out of Xigbar’s throat, and this time it sounds so much more genuine. “Either way, this one’s never going to escape Xehanort, no matter what he does!”</p><p>Xigbar’s laughter is cut short, and instead turns into a strangled bark of pain. Riku stands stock still and watches as the massive blade of Terra’s keyblade hits Xigbar’s left arm and chest. Blood nearly as dark as night globs out of his arm when Terra draws the keyblade back, and he moves to swing again from where he hangs in Xigbar’s grip.</p><p>Xigbar drops him like he *burns*, and Terra’s second strike misses. The way his arm over extends tells of just how strong he is, even as wounded as he is. When he hits the ground, he lets out a scream that pierces Riku’s heart. It sounds so painful and desperate, yet so determined to be free. He watches as Terra swings again from where he lay, and despite the horrid crunching of some kind of broken bone, the strike is just as powerful as the last.</p><p>Xigbar hops out of range just in time, the end of his black coat suffering a small split from Terra’s Keyblade’s teeth. And while Terra is gasping and writhing in pain on the ground, Xigbar switches his bowgun from his left hand to his right.</p><p>Riku snaps out of his stupor fast enough to cast a Dark Firaga at Xigbar just as Mickey throws a powerful Aeroga spell over Terra. A thunderous bang rings and Xigbar disappears behind the dark fire. A shot smashes into the Aeroga Mickey had cast earlier, right over Terra’s lower back. Thankfully, the barrier of wind holds like it had never been struck in the first place.</p><p>When the Dark Firaga strikes the earth, Xigbar is nowhere to be found. Riku is immediately alert and scanning the landscape. He briefly catches sight of Mickey rushing to stand over Terra, but pays it little mind. It’s more important to find out where Xigbar has gone and disappeared to. Even if it was two against one, Xigbar is certainly no pushover. This fight has to end fast, before something goes wrong.</p><p>Something dark and thick drops right in front of his nose, and Riku takes a fast step backwards and looks up. Xigbar stands above him, feet planted on nothing and hanging upside down. There’s a look of hate and rage that’s almost too real to exist on his face, and when he looks up at Riku, he swears the singular eye has turned from a pale yellow to a furious gold. Riku raises Way to the Dawn and fires off another spell, this time Thundaga. The brilliant flash of yellow light and the clap of thunder that echoes hides whatever Xigbar does, but when the light and sound fades, Xigbar has disappeared. The sound of boots creaking somewhere behind him tells him all he needs to know. Riku spins and casts a high level Blizzaga, but a split second before it goes off he realizes Xigbar isn’t there.</p><p>He whirls around too late to block, and a strong, wiry arm crashes into his stomach. His breath rushes out of his lungs, and Xigbar disappears once again.</p><p>“Riku!” Mickey shouts. “Switch out!”</p><p>“Right!” It doesn’t sound strong, but anyone would be wheezing and choking if someone like Xigbar had winded them. He’ll probably have a really nasty bruise there once everything is said and done.</p><p>Riku jumps back, coughing and wheezing for his breath, and Mickey dashes forwards, Star Cluster held tight in his hand. He only stops his backpedal when he can feel the strength of Mickey’s Aeroga on his calves, and a quick glance back proves that Terra is still there, still on his stomach, still safe beneath the barrier of the spell. Riku doesn’t look at him long, though. There’s a fight he needs to pay attention to, just in case Mickey needs to tag him in for a bit.</p><p>In quick succession, Mickey fires three Blizzaras, followed by two Thundaras. Xigbar dodges the  first two Blizzaras no problem, but is struck by the third. Frost blooms over the entirety of his right arm, and the shock of being struck by the spell slows him just enough to be struck by the two Thundaras. The last Thundara seems to stagger him, his left hand clenching and spasming beyond his control. Riku likes to think hes pretty decent with his magic, but watching Mickey strike Xigbar like that reminds him all too well that Mickey’s certainly be at this a whole lot longer than he has. Maybe he’ll ask Mickey for some help with his spells later. He watches as his friend casts a fierce Firaga at the stunned Nobody, and somehow Xigbar manages to dodge it by shifting his point of gravity. It doesn’t stop Mickey from casting a Stopga, and Xigbar definitely isn’t fast enough to evade it.</p><p>Riku whistles low and quiet as Xigbar freezes up entirely, like he’s been paused mid-action. It’s still a little eerie how Stop magic can halt a person’s breathing and blinking, but Riku does his best to ignore it. With Xigbar stopped, Mickey leaps towards him. And Riku can’t help the way he winces when Star Cluster connects with the motionless Nobody. He had aimed directly for Xigbar’s right shoulder, the one Terra hadn’t already cut down to size, and there’s a sickening thwack and crack. Blood oozes from the wound when Mickey pulls back, and he strikes again, this time aiming for Xigbar’s hip. This hit is far less powerful, but it’s strong nonetheless, and Riku definitely does not envy Xigbar. Being on Mickey’s bad side looks like it could be potentially fatal.</p><p>When his friend drops back down to the earth, he immediately hops back to stand beside him. The time magic holding Xigbar in stasis fades, and almost immediately Xigbar drops. Riku winces again when he hits the ground, and while his wounds look serious, he feels little regret about watching Mickey inflict them. </p><p>Slowly and carefully, Xigbar gets to his feet. Both of his arms hang limp at his sides, but the right one is definitely worse than his left. The left one at least still trembles. His eye is far more intense than it was before, both in colour and pseudo-emotion, and a shiver runs down his spine at the sight of it. </p><p>“You kids are lucky, y’know that?” Xigbar spits. It’s the angriest Riku has ever heard him. “If it wasn’t so important to the old man that his plan goes all the ways he wants it to, I’d have killed you where you stand.”</p><p>“Tough talk for someone in your position.” Riku snaps.</p><p>Xigbar bares all of his teeth at the statement just as a Dark Corridor opens up behind him. “Laugh it up now, kid, but at the end of the day, I’ll make you regret messing with me.”</p><p>He doesn’t give either of them a chance to respond. Xigbar turns and all but flees into the Dark Corridor, letting the darkness swallow him up and close behind him.</p><p>Riku finally feels his body relax, and he catches Mickey doing the same in the corner of his eye. Both keyblades are dismissed, and Riku turns his attention to the keybearer lying on the ground behind them. Terra seems to be unconscious, and Riku can’t find it in himself to blame him. He would be exhausted too if he were as badly wounded as him.</p><p>“Well, I guess we better him home, huh?”</p><p>Riku nods in response, and slowly kneels down beside Terra. Mickey kneels beside him just as Riku reaches out past the slowly peetering Aeroga and lays a hand on Terra’s. It twitches, and somewhere deep in his chest, he can feel Terra’s heart give a quick, weak beat. It’s nearly overwhelming to feel the amounts of hope radiating out of Terra’s heart.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says, carefully shuffling his arms underneath Terra’s shoulders and upper body. “Let’s get him out of here.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so much for not receiving any more scars, huh xiggy. not a big deal though, im sure hes fine LMAO. at least terra is safe now. safe from xehanort at least.</p><p>lmao also shout out to Beastrage and IvaliceForever. y'all are so sweet, and your comments help keep me chuggin along on this fic. thanks for reading, y'all</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Good Doctor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This whole idea of bringing Terra to Radiant Garden to heal him was supposed to make him feel better. Radiant Garden has scientists who study the heart, and who take this power and how it interacts with the body and documents it for the chance at a greater understanding. They're the most advanced, and they're the most discreet when it comes to wounds and the likes that have been dealt by something other than a vehicle accident or a fall out of a tree.</p>
<p>But this was not what Riku had in mind.</p>
<p>A doctor who shakes harder than hairless dog out in the snow, and a stranger who seems to get more injuries than fix them aren't really people Riku thinks are qualified to tend to wounds.</p>
<p>But like it or not, this is all he has. Hopefully nothing will go wrong.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao guess whos still alive baby~!<br/>sorry about vanishing, i was consumed by gay lawyers, spirit mediums, and magicians in courtrooms. i still am. never realized how much fun those games were lmao.<br/>sorry about any typos or the likes, just felt y'all deserved another chapter for your patience with me. i only have about 3 more games in the ace attorney series to consume anyways, and that shouldnt take me too long lol. hope this was worth the wait at least</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <span>Normally, when he’s ordered to wait, Riku has no problems waiting until he’s told to move. He can’t stand still as a statue, of course, and anyone who could was automatically someone who isn’t to be trifled with. But given the orders, he would sit and pace and wait wherever it was he was needed. He’d tap his fingers together, tap his feet on the floor, bounce his leg about, wander a few yards, even sit and lay on the floor. It wasn’t hard, and there was usually something he could keep his mind busy with. Sitting here, though, inside the castle walls of Radiant Garden, waiting beside a cot while a stranger leans over Terra’s unconscious form? This kind of waiting is hell. Even the waiting while on the train car as they travelled to Radiant Garden hadn’t been this bad. He had Mickey with him, then. And Mickey was very good at keeping spirits high and making small talk. But as they’d drawn closer to Master Yen Sid’s tower, Mickey had opted to stay behind and speak with the wizard. That had left Riku alone with Terra, unconscious as he is, to travel the rest of the way to Radiant Garden.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A call ahead to their newfound allies in the castle had negated the problems of him lifting Terra all by himself. He prides himself on being strong, both in body and heart, but no one is strong enough to carry someone who’s at least sixty pounds heavier than them. He isn’t sure how heavy Terra is exactly, but heavy enough would be an apt description. Arriving at the castle, Ienzo, Aeleus, and Dilan had been waiting for him. Though the greeting was awkward, Aeleus and Dilan had no troubles lifting Terra onto a cart-made-makeshift-gurney and wheeling him inside. No, he wasn’t comfortable with Aeleus, Dilan, and Ienzo, not fully, but at the very he least knew them. Getting Terra onto a cot was just as easy for Dilan and Aeleus, and as soon as the task was done, Dilan was gone, no doubt to continue patrolling the castle. Waiting there, off to the side, completely helpless to assist and watching Ienzo and this stranger buzz all around Terra, Riku felt useless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And things are a lot worse than what Riku originally thought they would be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d known about Terra’s broken femur and broken forearm. Those were incredibly obvious from the moment he’d seen him, both jutting out at strange, unnatural angles. The black eye wasn’t hard to diagnose, either. By the time they had reached Radiant Garden, Terra’s eye had swollen shut and turned a dark and sickly purple in colour. It was only by the lack of the stench of darkness that Riku felt safe in assuming it was just a normal black eye, and nothing more than that. And it certainly didn’t take a genius to know he had some open wounds and burns. The blood was a dead giveaway, and there were burns scattered all over Terra’s arms and in a few places where his shirt had been singed and burned away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What Riku hadn’t known about were the new injuries this stranger was pointing out like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Though she probably knew, given how old and scarred she was. She’d been here when he had arrived with Terra, talking to Ienzo about some sort of anatomy or something. Seeing Terra and watching Ienzo take off with him after Terra, she’d probably just followed. At the very least she was taking away some of the mystery of what was ailing Terra.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s definitely got a broken collarbone on the left side here,” she says, not at all sounding like a medical professional. “And if you press on his ribs a li’l’, you can feel ‘em give.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watches in silence as her big hands press down on Terra’s chest in a number of places. In some places where she presses, Terra’s chest seems to squish more than it should. It sends a shudder coursing through his body. Ienzo, who’s far more curious, gets a little bit closer to watch the motions. It looks like he mouths a word or two, but it’s so quiet that he can’t make out what he’s said, and Riku’s never been a good lip reader, either. The woman’s hands move up to Terra’s head and she feels around at the back and sides of his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s likely got some kind of head trauma with wounds like these,” she continues as Ienzo follows her. Aeleus watches them both carefully, all while standing farther back. He seems to be watching all three of them carefully, but Riku is more than certain Aeleus only truthfully cares about Ienzo. At the very least, he seems just as suspicious of the woman as he himself feels. But the woman pays him no mind at all, still poking and prodding and chattering away about Terra. “And something else seems wrong with that leg of his, but I can’t tell what.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you think it is?” Ienzo sounds like he’s spoken with her plenty of times before. Riku isn’t so sure with the way Aeleus watches her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I dunno. Could be another break? But my depth perception isn’t so great, what with the one eye and all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What makes you think that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku barely realizes he’s said it out loud until the woman turns and pins her good eye on him. He does his best to keep from shrinking in his seat, but he can’t help feeling small in her gaze. She blinks at him once, and blinks at him twice, before she raises a hand to point at her face. The right side of it is covered in massive scars that seem to swallow her features, and a few smaller ones marr the left side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Been around the block a few times, bud. When you get this many scars, you tend to learn what happens in fights.” she says. “Not to mention that he’s got a broken thigh. The femur’s the hardest bone to break in the entire body. With the force needed to smash it up, it’s not unlikely that there’s some kind of damage elsewhere in that leg of his.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s no condescension in her tone, nor does she seem annoyed or exasperated, but it still makes the back of his neck prickle in anticipation. She offers him a grin. The expression pulls at the scars of her face in strange ways. But she seems normal despite it. Well, normal enough for a monstrously massive lady he doesn’t know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you broken your femur before?” Riku asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And to that she just laughs. “Buddy, there’s no telling what trouble you might get into when you go world hopping. I’ve broken more bones than I care to count!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His face feels like it’s heating up, and silently he hopes that he isn’t blushing. Thankfully, she turns away to look back at Terra, sparing him any embarrassment of having her see his cheeks redden.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, bud,” she starts, giving her back a stretch. “As long as your friend here’s got a strong heart and a strong will, he’ll be just fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku’s face definitely darkens in colour, and his stomach twists just a little bit,- perhaps in annoyance that she’d talk to him like he’s never been off-world before. She’s talking again before he can defend himself with any kind of response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m no doctor, but it doesn’t take Ansem the Wise to know this guy needs to see one. Give me just a minute, I’ll be right back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And before he knows it, the woman is gone, all seven feet of her practically gliding out of the room and to who knows where. He isn’t sure if he should be thankful she’s gone, or if he should be nervous that someone that big could move so quietly. Ienzo doesn’t give her much chase other than a step towards the door, and calling her name. Riku just thanks his lucky stars that Ienzo is looking elsewhere long enough for his face to return to a normal colour. Ienzo returns to the cot where Terra lies, and for a long moment the young scientist simply stares. A few moments more pass before he speaks, though Riku isn’t sure if he’s talking to himself, Aeleus, or to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He looks so much like him…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku is stupid enough to ask “Who?” before he remembers. Ienzo answers anyways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Xemnas… He looks so much like Xemnas. It’s a little unsettling.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At first, Riku is ready to leap to Terra’s defense, to tell Ienzo he’s mistaken. But when Riku looks at Terra- *really* looks at him- he can see the resemblance. It’s near uncanny, even. Thinking that perhaps it was just the angle he was seeing him at, Riku pushes himself to his feet and steps up to the edge of the cot, opposite side of Ienzo. But even at this angle, Terra looks nearly identical to Xemnas. His hair is brown, yes, but simply imagining it a silvery white brings the image of Xemnas to mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He really does look like him.” he breathes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did Master Yen Sid tell you anything about what happened to him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s definitely an uncomfortable question, both to ask and answer. Ienzo was no fool. It’s likely he could guess what happened to Terra if he didn’t already know, but denial was a powerful drug, especially in the face of the knowledge that Master Yen Sid himself had called Terra a Guardian of Light. Riku nods in confirmation as he looks at Terra’s face. Even in sleep his expression is pinched in pain. For a moment, Riku says nothing. When the moment passes, he sighs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Master Yen Sid never outright said what happened to him, but where we found him and who was there with him was more than enough to guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku can feel himself pause, a hesitation that he knows stems from his own dealings with Xehanort when he was only a few years younger. Ienzo doesn’t push him to keep going, and Riku is thankful for that. The conversation drops, and for a while the two of them simply stand and stare down at Terra. His face has not lost any tension or pain despite that woman from before wasn’t poking at him anymore. Riku’s broken an arm and his wrist before, he knows just how painful it can be, but a bone as big and important as the one in the thigh is a whole different matter. It’s one thing to crush a few small joints in the wrist, or to get a break one of the bones in the forearm, but a break that big in a bone that big…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes, unknown to him, had travelled down to the break in question. The sight of Terra’s leg sitting there, not quite right and skewed to some degree has his skin crawling and his stomach doing somersaults. He forces him to tear his eyes away from the broken bone, and instead focuses again on Terra’s pained expression. The thoughts of Xehanort’s possession of the other for ten long years makes him just as queasy as the sight of the broken leg does.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I’ve always known he was Terra,” Ienzo starts softly. It’s sudden enough to make Riku’s miss a beat, but his heart corrects itself before Ienzo is talking again. “When I was young, Ansem the Wise took on another apprentice, one who didn’t know who he was or what had happened to him. He wasn’t much younger than Even or Dilan at the time, maybe 23 at most, but every time I saw him in the labs and in the halls, I avoided him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Out of the corners of his eyes, Riku watches as the younger scientist reaches up and touches at his chest, his fingers pressed a little offset to the left. Over his heart no doubt. Shuffling behind beyond him draws Riku’s attention, but Aeleus doesn’t speak, his eyes now cast elsewhere in the room. With his arms crossed, Riku can see how his left hand squeezes his right arm tight. Whatever Ienzo was remembering, it seems Aeleus remembers it too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I swore I’d seen him before, outside of the castle. I always doubted that I’d ever seen that man before, with the silver hair and gold eyes, but looking at him now- looking at *Terra* now,- I know that the feeling of deja vu I felt was real.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You saw Terra before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ienzo nods, once a little uncertain, and again with more conviction. “I’m sure of it. I was quiet when I was younger. I never spoke much, not to anyone, and I would always run off and explore on my own.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At this statement, a small grin curls Aeleus’ lips and the big man nods his head once. He’d probably seen and dealt with Ienzo’s younger self if they were all together at this lab.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I saw him, and two other off-worlders. I watched them fight and talk and laugh together. I’m sure of it. The man who became Ansem the Wise’s new apprentice was Xehanort’s heart within this man…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ienzo fails at suppressing a shudder at the thought, and Riku is glad that he isn’t the only one. To think that Xehanort had already been ruining the lives of people so much older than the both of them was both unbelievable and frightening. To think that for more than ten years, Terra had been hidden in plain sight, used and manipulated by Xehanort…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry I took so long, but I’ve got a doctor right here for ya!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time Riku does flinch. How both Ienzo and Aeleus manage to keep themselves steady is beyond him, but he decides it won’t be good to focus on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman from before is back, her voice no where near respectable enough for a room that’s housing the wounded. She barges in with seemingly no thought whatsoever, nearly shoving her way past Riku to stand before Terra’s unconscious form. Behind her she drags a short and gangly man with black hair and massive glasses. He’s wearing a white lab coat, much like the one Ienzo wears, and despite the slight chill of the outdoors, he’s wearing some atrocious kind of rubber shoes with holes in them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So this is your doctor, then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ienzo’s voice has an almost clipped quality to it, like the other was expecting a more respectful entrance. Riku was too, if he were honest. But the woman doesn’t seem to notice it at all, nor does she seem to notice the way Aeleus takes a precautionary step forwards. Nothing seems to dampen her mood. She gives an over-exaggerated nod and slaps the scrawny man beside her square on his back. She doesn’t seem to notice that the action winds him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is he! Doctor Scott Ward himself! He might not look it, but this guy’s patched up every single wound I’ve ever gotten world hopping! A real pro at healing, this guy!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When all eyes turn to him, the announced Doctor Ward seems to shrink back in his skin. He raises a single, bony hand and gives the weakest grin Riku has ever seen in his life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“G-Good afternoon! I’m S-Scott Ward, Ms. Aarin’s doctor… I-I specialize in trauma’s dealt specif-specifically by weapons…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku can’t stop himself from lifting an eyebrow at the woman,- Ms. Aarin, presumably,- and she only grins, big and bright and enthusiastic. She gives the meek little man another open palmed pats on the back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’ll have your guy patched up in the blink of an eye! He’s the best doctor I’ve ever had!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows better than to judge a book by it’s cover,- especially considering how absolutely powerful someone petite like Kairi has been turning out to be in her Keyblade training with Lea, and with Sora in general,- but he finds it hard to believe such a scrawny man practically shaking in his shoes is a specialist when it comes to battle wounds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“M-Ms. Aarin has been c-catching me up with your f-friend’s case. S-Sounds like he’s g-gotten himself into a serious brawl,” the doctor begins. He takes a few nervous steps forwards, but as both Riku and Ienzo back away a little bit, he seems to grow in confidence. The doctor stops right beside Terra’s cot and gives him a quick glance before looking around the room at each of them. “Th-there’s a high chance I-I’ll have to operate on him… If that’s all right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Operate? Something on Riku’s face must have changed for the worse, for the doctor shrunk back in his skin again at the sight of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Operate on what? What’s wrong with him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With shakier hand than before, the doctor pulls at the collar of his lab coat and casts his eyes back to Terra. Riku follows his gaze, looking down at the sheer number of wounds covering the unconscious keybearer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-Well, for starters, h-his hip is probably going to need replacing... “</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Replacing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku can barely feel the embarrassment of squawking the other’s words back at him. A break in the thigh isn’t simple, not by any means when compared to a broken arm or wrist, but certainly seems simple in comparison to a hip replacement surgery. The leap from a broken leg to a hip replacement seems a rather large one. Thankfully, the doctor doesn’t seem to take Riku’s shock and dumbfounded expression to be anything aggressive or untoward, and instead he focuses more intently on Terra.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-Well, there’s a chance his femur could have s-several breaks in it, and until I can properly find out, it’s uncertain if I would need to p-plant a metal rod in to support a proper resetting. M-More commonly, with high-impact breaks that are n-needed to break one’s femur, the f-femoral head inside the patient’s hip socket breaks off, or cracks and splinters. I-It could also be dislocated, and t-tear important tissues, n-nerves, and even blood vessels that are r-required to move the joint and leg.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku can physically feel himself pale the longer the doctor goes on to describe potential complications, and the sommersaulting he had felt in his stomach before simply looking at Terra’s broken leg seems to increase tenfold. It’s a miracle that his voice doesn’t shake when he speaks again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So if you find these problems, you’ll have to operate on him,” he begins. The doctor gives a quick nod. “And the operation should help him keep function in his leg?” The doctor nods again, this time swinging an arm out to gesture to Ms. Aarin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I’ve actually had to operate on Ms. Aarin’s hips before… As you can see, sh-she’s up and about with no problems at all."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman in question makes a noise that’s a combination of surprise and confusion, and while she mumbles to herself about her hips, Riku turns to look back at the doctor fully. Doctor Ward pushes his glasses back up his nose to sit directly in front of his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I don’t know who this man is or w-what the extent of his wounds are, b-but if he is a world hopper like Ms. Aarin, then he will definitely need an op-operation to walk if it comes d-down to it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An undignified squeak follows the doctor’s words as Ms. Aarin slings an arm over his shoulder and jostles him playfully. The smile she gives Riku is large and genuine. Her scars don’t seem to help make her appear any friendlier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not to worry, bud. I’ll be helpin’ the good doctor out! And I’m sure Mr. Ienzo wouldn’t mind givin’ us a hand here at the castle too! Ain’t that right, Ienzo?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I-I suppose I could assist-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ms. Aarin doesn’t wait for the other to finish.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See? Lotsa good people here to help your friend get better! With this many people workin’ on him, everything’ll be done in a flash!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And the somersaults that were twisting his stomach tighten into knots.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>dont worry too much about these ocs tbh. i just needed a doctor and these two were just what i whipped out of a hat. ms aarin is the one whos an actual oc ive spent time on but this aint her story lol.<br/>sorry again about the wait y'all</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Joys of a Mortician</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>His shoulders throb. His hip aches. Blood oozes down his body. It's cold. It's uncomfortable.</p>
<p>If he had emotion, he would have hated every second of this.</p>
<p>It's his only saving grace that he doesn't feel. Tedious tasks piled up with near crippling wounds and the snobbiest of colleagues would have definitely made Braig burst a gasket and whine and complain until the end of days.</p>
<p>And while Xigbar might not feel, he'll be damned if he doesn't whine and complain to himself about the shit jobs he's given.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im finally done most of the ace attorney games, and i can focus a little bit better on writing this while im at work lmao. proved an orca innocent of murder, but now i have to prove her handler innocent too. this whole ass series is wild. hope y'all can enjoy this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The first moment Xigbar steps out of the Dark Corridor he’d summoned was a quiet one. He knows better than to assume the gathering place is empty. Demyx had been benched, of course, so there was no doubt that he was nearby, and the old man certainly had enough pawns to run around for him to justify him sitting on his ass all day. There’s always someone at home base, with old man Xehanort there at the very least. And though he knows better than to assume no one would be waiting there, he could always factor in the possibility that no one would notice him arriving. It’s not every day that the most trusted Nobody who <em>isn’t</em> a different version of Xehanort returns to base covered in wounds. Seeing him in a sorry state like this would definitely not bode well for his basic survival.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And for one quiet, pseudo-blissful moment, no one notices him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He steps out of his Dark Corridor at the base of the thirteen massive spires, where dust and dirt swirls sluggishly with the breeze between the towering rock formations. There are people speaking high above him; the low, grating voice of the old man himself, and the slightly nasalier cadence of Demyx. Of course he’d be here. He’s always here. Though if he felt surprise, he’d sure as hell feel it in regards to the fact that Demyx was actually participating in the meeting. A higher pitched voice rings out in a mockery of laughter. Larxene, probably, or maybe Marluxia. Xigbar doesn’t care to try and figure out which it is. It doesn’t matter much at the moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’re busy. That’s all that matters.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Dark Corridor closes and wisps of lingering darkness fade. A near noticeable amount of additional darkness compared to the amount of it gathered right here at this strange formation of stones. Satisfied enough that his appearance is near-impossible to notice, he starts off towards the base of one of the stone spires. Though the others are focused on one another high above him, he instinctively sticks to the shadows. It would be much better if he could avoid any interactions with the other’s until he’s dealt with his wounds. Even with one eye it’s easy enough to see the Recusant’s Sigil and the number II crudely carved into the spire across the clearing. His spire. All he needs is to make it to his spire undetected. There’s a few potions and elixirs hidden in a dug out in his spire, one that he’d carved out himself. A small place to sit and rest his old and relatively delicate joints. He could simply use those elixirs to heal his wounds, and spend a little bit of time mending his cloak, and the rest of the Organization would be none-the-wiser to his dealings earlier. Everything is about image here, even if feelings did not count in the curation of such things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xigbar stops in his tracks when a Dark Corridor opens up directly in front of him. There’s no time to hide himself, nor is there really any point to doing so. Xemnas steps out a mere heartbeat later. He looks just as distant, pinched, and detached as always, though when his eyes sweep over his form Xigbar can feel his physical heart squeeze ever so slightly in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like that, his pseudo-blissful moment is over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come,” Xemnas says. “There is a meeting taking place. You are to join us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xigbar does his best to shrug his shoulders, and ignores the blistering pain that tears through his arms and torso. “I didn’t realize that attendance was mandatory.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As per usual, Xigbar’s carefully maintained sarcasm is met with a look that turns from distant and neutral to sharp and aggressive. The quills hidden in the other’s hair quiver ever so slightly. And as per usual, Xigbar simply grins far too wide at his superior and cocks his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Relax, big guy. You know I’m not one to skimp on meetings without good reasons.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It had better be good, then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xemnas steps to the side and motions towards the Dark Corridor he had emerged from with one hand. Xigbar knows better than to disobey a command from the superior, verbal or otherwise, and he marches his way firmly towards the Dark Corridor. Though Xemnas does not turn his head when he passes, Xigbar knows the other can still see him with those freaky eyes of his. The faint sound of the quills in Xemnas’ hair moving confirms that he’s watching him. Xigbar steps through without hesitation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Very quickly he’s swallowed by the darkness, and he can hear Xemnas entering the Dark Corridor behind him. Xigbar doesn’t waste much time traversing the darkness before he forcibly reopens an exit in the darkness. Xemnas passes him without a word, and Xigbar steps out of the darkness once more. This time he stands atop his spire. The wind is a little fiercer all the way up here, but it’s not strong or loud enough to be a nuisance to the meeting that’s taking place. At the very least there isn’t any dust this high up to irritate his wounds. Xemnas appears soon after atop his own spire.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, Xigbar. How nice of you to join us.” If he feels any kind of annoyance or exasperation, Xehanort is definitely crafty enough to hide it firmly behind a cold, neutral welcome. The lack of such emotions from him causes him to subconsciously flex his claws, though the pain stops him from doing it with any kind of false drama.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pleasure’s all mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xehanort’s smile twists cruelly at the ends. Xigbar pretends to ignore it. Whatever that means, it certainly can’t be good for Xigbar. Adrenaline spikes briefly in his gut, but it dies down quickly enough when the rest of the currently gathered Organization focuses on him. And just like that, his peace and quiet is gone forever. Demyx, of course, is the first to jump on ruining it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude… Did you fall into a meat grinder or something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If those wounds are anything to go by, I would say our dear friend has reacquainted himself with the bite of a Keyblade.” Luxord chimes in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With what little function he has in his left arm, Xigbar raises his hand and makes a sloppy finger-gun motion towards Luxord. It’s incredibly painful and his whole torso seems to shake with the effort of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bingo!” he says. “Looks like good ol’ Number X guessed right!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The echo of a smug little smirk crawls its way onto Luxord’s face, and the expression would probably look a little more dashing if the feathers covering most of his neck would stop puffing up and out. It would also probably help if he could feel any form of emotion. The sharp belly laugh that erupts from Larxene draws Xigbar’s attention. She’s practically doubled over, sparks hopping from her hands and skittering across her cloak as she grips at her sides. When she speaks, it's only snippets of words between her barks of laughter, and each one sounds like a drawn out wheeze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at him! Xemnas’ one-eyed lapdog! Beaten to a pulp by a kid!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Larxene throws her torso back rather suddenly, and she sucks in a huge, perhaps over-exaggerated gulp of air before she keeps laughing. Old memories register in Xigbar’s head, of emotional responses he once used back when he had a heart to feel with. He thinks swiftly enough to shrug his shoulders, cock his head to one side, and bear all too many of his teeth in a near-aggressive grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, I was playing a high-stakes version of roshambo with the rat and a dying keybearer. As for what I recall, only you morons at Castle Oblivion got torn apart by a child with a toy sword.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His words hit their mark square and true. Larxene’s laughter is immediately cut off and twisted into a snarl and a shout, electricity crackling in her palms and sparks jumping between the two wayward spikes in her hair. Demyx sputters out a laugh, his fingers hitting a wrong note on that dreadful sitar of his. Had he been able to feel, it certainly would have been a cathartic moment. That sweet sweet moment of remembered bliss is cut short, however, when Xehanort’s voice cuts through air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And who, pray tell, was this dying keybearer?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adrenaline spikes within him once again, and suddenly slugging at Larxene’s false pride like that seems to have been a mistake. Though Xehanort probably already knows his answer, he’s no doubt asking Xigbar to point out his own failures to his colleagues. It’s a tactic that works more effectively on those who can feel, but with regards to the ample amount of Nobodies he has under his thumb, Xigbar finds it to be more of a personal cruelty exercise for Xehanort. Though nowhere near as old as himself, the old coot has seen enough years for his mind to slow and turn sluggish if he isn’t careful. This must be one of his own exercises to keep himself sharp. Though thinking of his words as such certainly doesn’t help the budding fight or flight instincts snarling up his guts. His tongue flicks across the backs of his teeth before he forces himself to respond.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y’know, I can’t really remember what his name was. It was that kid, the one you pushed towards the darkness all those years ago. Kinda tall, brown hair, loved his dear old daddy too much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, yes. I remember him well. He was so eager to learn to control the darkness. A shame it consumed him.” Xigbar can’t help but snort. Xehanort turns to face him fully, and the action seems to take any life out of the air around them. None of the other Nobodies move, each of them silent and watching as Xehanort pins him with a stare that could have probably killed a Lesser Nobody. “Tell me, Xigbar. Whatever happened to him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fight or flight instincts sharpen at the edges in his gut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, y’see, that’s a funny story-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And yet I am not laughing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xigbar immediately raises his left hand as far as his wounded shoulder will allow him, and he does his best to make a placating gesture towards the other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey now, come on. You don’t really think I lost that fight on purpose, do ya?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Xehanort begins as he brings one hand to idly scratch through his beard. “But I do believe you fled from that fight on purpose.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What else was I supposed to do? If I didn’t make a tactical retreat, you would have been down two vessels instead of one. That rat would’ve killed me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xehanort scoffs and rolls his eyes at his response. The memory of frustration lances through his thoughts for only a brief second before Xigbar thinks better of trying to come up with a counter argument or a defense. This wasn’t Sora and his ragtag crew he was putting up with, this was the old coot himself talking to him. Xehanort takes his silence as a chance to keep speaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should hardly think a Keyblade Master and contorted whelp would ever be able to do away with you. You’re like a cockroach, always refusing to lie down and roll over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like to think that’s one of my more charming qualities.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xehanort scoffs again and turns himself away from him. “As if you have any comprehension of charming qualities with the way you are now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xigbar sucks a sharp breath through his teeth and winces in mock hurt. “How cruel…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xehanort seems to ignore him as he crosses his hands behind his back and takes a sweeping look at the members gathered before him. Xigbar chances a glance around the gathering as well. Larxene and Luxord are paying him no mind now that the old man’s attention is on them, and Xemnas has returned to a fully neutral and distant state of being, seemingly staring off into the middle distance. The only one still watching him is Demyx, who immediately looks away when Xigbar narrows his eye at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Xigbar.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Xehanort says his name he instantly perks up, returning his attention to old man standing hunched on his spire. Xehanort doesn’t turn to look at him again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will be tasking you with retrieving the vessel you have cost me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what if that vessel is surrounded by more Keybearers?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should have no issues with retrieving a single body.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And if that body is more along the lines of a corpse?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <em>“Xigbar.”</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All at once those fight or flight instincts that had been building up within his gut snap and scatter. He tucks in his chin and looks away. In his current predicament, it is far safer to take flight than to stand and fight. He gives a put-off sigh before he actually gives the old man an answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I’ll go pick up the kid’s corpse.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xehanort hums his approval before his focus is shifted back towards the gathering of Nobodies before him, and Xigbar does his best to pay attention. Retrieving that kid’s corpse from that rag tag crew of children with swords was already shaping up to be a rather tedious task. Here’s to hoping they let their guard down long enough for him to get this chore finished fast.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lmao shoutout to Beastrage and IvaliceForever for commenting yet again on my work. im having a blast with ace attorney and im so glad you liked ms aarin so much! shes a big ol shit head and shed be so happy to have a tea party. also thank you for sayin that about my interpretation of riku, im strugglin hardcore trying to write some of these characters right lol. thanks to the both of you for keepin my writing spirits high!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Resting the Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It isn't fair, he thinks. It isn't fair to do this to him, to force him to lose even more time than he's already lost. Terra has suffered far more than any one person should have. Riku understands the feeling, understands what it's like to be controlled and manipulated in the ways Xehanort is oh so good at.</p>
<p>But this is for the best. This is what is right. This is how he will heal the fastest. Riku doesn't like it, doesn't like the way the thought of it sits in the pit of his stomach. It isn't fair. But all is fair in love and war, he supposes. So long as Terra wakes up sooner rather than later, he can wait.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this was originally supposed to have more content to it, but one thing led to another and uhhhhh this is just how its gotta be. i wrote too many words to force the next bit, so the next bit will be in the next chapter. lmao sorry about that</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If Riku has anything to be thankful for, it would definitely have to be the fact that he didn’t immediately whip out Way to the Dawn and cut down whatever was in front of him. If he had summoned his keyblade and attacked without warning, Ms. Aarin would likely bear yet another scar on her already ruined face. What he isn’t thankful for, however, is the way he was so rudely woken up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After speaking with Ms. Aarin, Ienzo, and Doctor Ward just a little bit more, Riku had assented to the possibility of operations to right whatever wounds and burns Terra had sustained. Riku had been kicked out of the small room where they had originally brought Terra into, and the three of them had vanished not long after. A flurry of motion and activity had begun all around him. It became too much very quickly, so he fled a little bit further down the halls, moving himself closer to the front entrance of the castle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the chatter and sounds of things being moved faded to little more than a soft murmur, Riku stopped. He’d looked around, at a loss of what to do. Part him thought perhaps he should return to Master Yen Sid’s tower. He retrieved Terra, and he’d brought him to Radiant Garden. Though he didn’t particularly know any of the people who would be tending to his wounds, he could at least be a little reassured that a proper doctor would be in attendance. He would be well cared for here, and both he and Mickey still had to find Aqua. He simply couldn’t ignore the other high-priority mission Master Yen Sid had assigned him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another part of him, however, didn’t want to leave. To leave Terra now, while he was beginning a transition into recovery, felt very wrong. Of course Radiant Garden is no longer a popular place for the Organization to appear on a whim, not with so many displaced people returning to the world, but that didn’t mean they still couldn’t and wouldn’t show up. Xigbar had looked so close to anger, closer than any other Nobody he’d seen in a long time. And if Terra was a vessel for over ten years, it was more than likely that Xehanort would want his prized vessel back. The one vessel who took a whole decade to finally gain the strength to escape him. Riku couldn’t leave Terra alone, defenseless as he is. No one at Radiant Garden was quite powerful enough to fend off an unfeeling Nobody. Even those who knew how they fought would certainly struggle defending him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Conflicted and confused, Riku had called Mickey, who picked up near immediately. Thankfully, he was still with Master Yen Sid, discussing who knows what. It wasn’t important. Master Yen Sid had listened to his concerns, and conceded that Terra would need guarding until he was strong enough to fend for himself once more. Riku had eagerly jumped at the offer to defend him, and Master Yen Sid agreed, promising he would find another to protect Terra as soon as he could to relieve him. Finding Aqua, of course, was now at the forefront of Master Yen Sid’s mind once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a quick and relieving call, and Riku returned to the door of the room where Terra lay after. By then the noises had quieted down, save for some clinking and muffled footsteps. He didn’t dare go in; he was kicked out of the room for a reason of course, so he took a seat adjacent to the door. And there he waited. He listened to the quiet sounds from inside the room, listened to the castle as it creaked and shifted and settled, listened to the way his own heart beat in his chest. He couldn’t be sure when everything blurred and faded, but he must have fallen asleep at some point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ms. Aarin was extremely lucky that he was able to regain his bearing so quickly. One did not hide from and tail the Organization for a year and half without always being wary and ready. The massive woman must have clapped directly beside his ears. It was a loud sound, and it left his ears ringing. His soul felt like it had leapt two feet out of his body before it slowly began to slink back into place. And if Riku almost wet himself from the scare, that was his knowledge and his knowledge alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ms. Aarin, peeling latex gloves one size too small off of her hands, was laughing deep and loud. Ienzo looked just as startled as Riku felt, and Doctor Scott Ward looked like he was on the verge of a heart attack.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Omisia, <em>please</em>-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All right all right, I’m sorry! But I just had to, you know? He looked so peaceful!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku didn’t know whether he should be annoyed by Ms. Aarin’s antics, but Ienzo sure looked annoyed. He decided he didn’t want to push his luck with her, no matter how friendly she was being. If she looks like she could rip him in half, and if she walks like she could rip him in half, chances are that this monster of a woman could rip him in half.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“U-Um, we’ve finished all of our m-medical proceedings, i-if you’d like to see your friend…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku looks up at the doctor when he speaks. He does his best to ignore the streaks of red on the disposable surgery gown Doctor Ward is wearing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is he?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-Well,” the doctor begins. “He won’t be able to move his left arm for a while un-until that clavicle heals, a-and some of his ribs were bad enough to require m-metal plates to keep them in place.” Doctor Ward pulls off his own red-painted gloves and starts peeling away his disposable gown before he continues. “His h-hip was lucky enough to not need any replacements, but the f-f-f-femoral head had come out and had cracked, s-so he needed his leg r-relocated and stabilized. His femur was br-broken in two places, and I had to set the bone with three rods and a bunch of screws…” The doctor scratches at the back of his head, almost as if he’s too uncomfortable and nervous to go on. Riku leans forwards just far enough to prompt him to continue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All in all, h-he’s in really rough shape. L-lots of his burns had to be dressed and covered, a-and I’ll have to come back every day to debride and redress them. Th-There’s just… Too many things for his body to handle right now…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” Riku trails off, his brain struggling to keep up with everything the doctor is telling him. “So what does that mean for him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doctor Ward looks even more uncomfortable than before, but before he can answer, Ms. Aarin butts in and kneels down right in front of him. The look on her face offers him no comfort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m gonna rip this bandaid off as gently as I can for you, bud, but your friend is in really bad shape. He’s not gonna be allowed to wake up for a while. Not until his body’s had a chance to rest up real good first.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku opens his mouth, sputters, and closes it. He tries again, tries once more to say something, but the words are all caught in his throat. Ms. Aarin offers him a smile that’s probably meant to be comforting or reassuring, but it looks all snarled and unnatural with her scars.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a lot to take in, bud, I know, but just because he won’t be wakin’ up any time soon doesn’t mean he won’t ever wake up! He just…” She trails off, grinding her teeth together in a side-to-side motion that’s most likely a tick of her’s while she’s trying to think. “He’s just gotta work on healin’ up first is all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Th-that’s right!” Riku had nearly forgotten that Doctor Ward was still nearby. While Ms. Aarin’s presence is overwhelming, Doctor Ward seems to have no presence at all. “Th-there’s unlikely to be p-permanent damage on him anyways! Once y-your friend’s body has suitably recovered, I’ll re-reverse his anesthesia so h-he can wake up!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And though Riku knows deep down somewhere in his subconscious that this is for the best, his heart twists at the thought that Terra would be losing even more time. Over a decade spent as a puppet for Xehanort’s schemes, and when he’s finally free again, he loses even more time. Finally, Riku manages to find his voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-How long will he have to stay asleep?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doctor Ward answers him this time, and his voice is uncertain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s almost imp-possible to know how long he will take to heal, only that it w-will be less damaging to him o-overall if he remains asleep. A-At best, it m-may only take two months, m-maybe three. At worst…? P-Perhaps a year or more…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ms. Aarin butts in again before Riku can speak up about just how uncomfortable the idea is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But he’s got a strong heart, I can tell ya that! A strong heart and a strong mind! Scottithew is just makin’ Darksides outta Shadows! You’ll see, bud, your friend in there’ll be awake in four months tops!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku is momentarily caught off guard. Scottithew? <em>That’s</em> her doctor’s full name? <em>Scottithew?</em> Ms. Aarin ruffles his hair, catching him further off guard, and she stands up. She’s dragging her doctor away before Riku can say anything, and she’s long gone by the time he fully processes her words. ‘Makin’ Darksides outta Shadows’... How did a sketchy world hopper like her even know the proper names of Heartless?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a quick shake of his head, Riku pushes himself to his feet and looks towards the door right across the hall from him. The door is open just a little bit, the ever-so intricate yet still incredibly bland door hiding from him what was waiting inside. Ignoring his nerves is easy enough until he approaches the door and swings it open. And for a moment it feels almost if his heart is going to stop. He doesn’t know why, but the sensation grips him very tightly. And as quickly as it came, the sensation leaves. He steps into the room and closes the door behind him. Ienzo looks up at him, but he barely notices him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra is hooked up to a number of wires and tubes. Machines blink and beep very quietly. An IV and blood bag hang from a hook and drip down into Terra’s right arm. Riku isn’t sure how he’s supposed to feel. He tries to settle on a bizarre mix of relief and sadness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not in as terrible condition as I personally thought he would be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku looks up at Ienzo now. He must have pulled off his own disposable hospital gown and latex gloves earlier. He stands now, beside Terra’s cot, dressed in his usual lab attire, not a drop of blood in sight. For a moment he stares at Ienzo, and Ienzo stares right back at him. The moment ends quickly enough, and Riku grabs the chair he’d been sitting in earlier and drags it beside Terra, across the cot from Ienzo. He sits, and for another moment neither he nor Ienzo say a word about it. Only the soft beeping of what must be a heart monitor sings in the silence. Finally, Riku speaks up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What were you expecting?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I’m honest, I truly thought you were going to be bringing us a corpse beyond our recognition.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku looks up fast at him, expecting a grim smile and a weak shrug. Ienzo looks dead serious, and the sight of it chews a hole in his stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Xemnas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sigh Ienzo heaves is heavy and slightly uncomfortable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you know that there was a Number IX before Demyx?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku doesn’t reply, and instead shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Demyx was the second Number IX. Apparently, the first one was so awful at their job that Xemnas personally exterminated them. I don’t remember them much, considering how young I had been and how I believed myself to have better things to do, but I have never seen any trace of them since then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku can’t decide if that’s supposed to make him feel better or worse about Terra’s condition. He isn’t exactly as friendly or forgiving as Sora and Kairi are, but he certainly doesn’t wish utter destruction upon anyone, Nobody or otherwise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The details of what happened to him are few and foggy,” Ienzo begins. “But he is incredibly lucky to escape from there with what wounds he did sustain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence settles in the room once more, punctuated again by the soft beeps of the machinery supporting and sustaining Terra. Riku isn’t sure what to say for some time, and soon drops his eyes to watch Terra as he sleeps. Despite his wounds, casts, and bandages, he looks peaceful like this. Eventually words do come to mind, but Riku spends a few moments more watching Terra before he gives them a voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Master Yen Sid has placed me in charge of guarding Terra while he recovers for some time. I hope my being here won’t be a problem.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He catches out of the corner of his eyes Ienzo, shaking his head and dismissively waving a hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s no trouble at all. We can get you set up in the room next door if you want, and I don’t mind making food for you as well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The relief is almost instant, and Riku gives Ienzo a small, if shy smile. “Thank you. I don’t know how long this will last, and I don’t know when Master Yen Sid will replace me, but it means a lot to me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s really no trouble. Though we of the castle prefer to remain neutral, we certainly don’t mind helping to knock Xehanort and his cronies down a few pegs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even though you were his cronies once?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time, Ienzo gives him a genuine smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All the more reason to interfere with him, I’d say.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>terra definitely could have had it worse, but its still pretty bad if you ask me. tbh theres a reason that this fic is tagged with whump lmao. sorry terra</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A Quiet Intermission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He should have been better. He should have been more alert. He should have begged Master Yen Sid to dump his duties onto another Keyblade Master. There weren't many to choose from, but surely Mickey could take any number of his magically inclined subjects with him in Riku's place.</p>
<p>It's not his fault. He knows it's not his fault.</p>
<p>But it still feels like his fault.</p>
<p>He'd worked so hard, volunteered for guard duty first, visited as often as possible. And it still happened.</p>
<p>Riku would like to think he isn't one to exact revenge, but there was always a chance that he could change his mind about it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was so bored at work today that i just cranked out a whole ass chapter, no questions asked. i hope it's okay, because it's technically just filler lmao</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was no more than three days and nights before Master Yen Sid found a suitable replacement for him. Three days and nights he spent in Radiant Garden, living in a small room in the castle close to the room that housed Terra. Ienzo had made good on his promise to bring him a few meals from when those living in the castle made their breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, and Riku had made certain that he repaid the kindness in favours as often as possible. It wasn’t so hard, a few heavy boxes to move around and a few brave Shadows lurking in the darkest corners of the castle’s wreckage to eliminate. They were simple favours, ones he could accomplish without moving too far away from Terra. It was his duty to guard him, of course. He was the one who offered himself up for it. But standing guard over a comatose man, while not particularly hard in a physical sense, came with its own set of emotional difficulties. He’d banished himself to the hallway when his emotions got too strong for his liking. With circumstances that hit far too close to home, it was hard not to think about it constantly. It just wasn’t fair to Terra, no matter how much good it would do him to stay like this.</p>
<p>So when Merlin arrived to relieve him on the fourth day, Riku was almost too excited for his own good. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to stand by Terra. Quite the opposite, in fact. Riku would have stood beside Terra’s bed until he woke if that was what it took. No, it was simply running from his own thoughts that had him so relieved to be out of that castle and off of Radiant Garden. Merlin would be more than capable when it comes to defending Terra, and with Kairi and Lea tagging along with him, he was more than reassured that Terra would be safe. Perhaps, he thought, as Mickey arrived to pick him up, that taking a break from constantly worrying himself about Terra’s situation would be better for the both of them. People in comas could still feel and hear and what not, couldn’t they? He could probably feel Riku’s jittery anxiety and barely contained upset, even if he couldn’t respond to it. Probably. Having a happy-go-lucky wizard of incredible strength, a Princess of Heart, and one brand new Keybearer surrounding him would probably do more for morale than a single twitchy Keyblade Master would.</p>
<p>And that was what he told himself all the way back to Master Yen Sid’s tower. That was what he told himself when he was allowed a few days rest on Destiny Islands to relax. That was what he told himself when he was called upon once more to look for Aqua.</p>
<p>After two weeks of fruitlessly searching for Aqua, Riku found himself returning to Radiant Garden.</p>
<p>When he entered the castle, Aeleus gave him a respectful nod and gestured in the direction of the room Terra was residing in. When he ran through the hallways towards the room, he passed by Doctor Ward and Ms. Aarin. They had probably just been in, tending to Terra no doubt. They said a pleasant hello to him, and he responded in kind. When he arrived at the room, he was surprised to see Merlin, Kairi, and Lea had been switched out with Leon and Yuffie. How the two of them knew Master Yen Sid was beyond him, but they didn’t seem to think it was odd that they knew the wizened wizard, and nor did Riku care enough to really ask. Kairi and Lea were still in training after all, and it would be incredibly important to resume their training as quickly as possible in preparation to face off with Xehanort. When he entered Terra’s room, he wasn’t sure what he thought he would be expecting.</p>
<p>Terra was still asleep, was still hooked up to various machines, was still covered in bandages and slowly shrinking burns. It took a few moments of staring to notice that there were thin, drying lines of water on his face, running from the corners of his eyes and down the sides of his head into his hair. Tears, probably. From what, Riku isn’t sure. If Terra were any ounce of conscious to cry, Riku took it at the very least to be a good sign. He was still there and still feeling. Crying wasn’t a preferred reaction, but Riku reasoned that, when no one was around to hear him or see him, he was crying after escaping Xehanort’s clutches, too. After a careful glance around the room, Riku had reached out and wiped at the drying tears with his thumb, careful not to disturb the other’s resting position while he did so. He sat beside him in one of the free chairs afterwards. He’d stay with him until it was time to go. He had only a day’s rest before he was back out with Mickey, looking for Aqua.</p>
<p>That night when he leaves, he stops to speak for a moment with Leon. Yuffie of course had fallen asleep some time earlier, somehow managing to lean entirely on Leon and sleep standing up. Leon seemed gracious enough not to move her or rouse her. Talk of when they would be switched out passed between them, mixed with concerns and reassurances about stray Heartless and Nobody stragglers. Apparently Cid would be reactivating the Claymores to deal with the Heartless, so everyone else could focus more clearly on the Nobodies. It was a little bit harder to input their presence into the Claymores’ detection and prevention system, considering that Nobodies technically weren’t supposed to exist in the first place, but at the very least the threats of Nobodies would be lower than average.</p>
<p>Bidding him good night, Riku left them at little more than a wandering amble. The trip home to Destiny Islands was uneventful, and their search for Aqua for the next three weeks even less so. There were a few notable Heartless lingering in a few of the worlds, but nothing so difficult or extreme as to raise any kind of red alerts to Master Yen Sid about. Nobodies were even scarcer, both the Greater and Lesser kinds. Riku didn’t even see a glimpse of that tell-tale black cloak.</p>
<p>Riku’s next few days off are spent the same way he spent them before. When he enters the castle on Radiant Garden, nothing much has changed. He doesn’t see either Doctor Ward or Ms. Aarin in the halls, nor does he see Aeleus. Dilan barely acknowledged him when he walked past. And Terra, regrettably, is still very much the same. Some of his bandages are gone, exposing the darker scabs and pinkish granulation tissues that were most likely burns, once, but otherwise he’s still asleep. This time at least there are no tears. Riku sits beside him once more, and stays with him until it’s dark outside, returning back to Terra’s bedside each day he’s free.</p>
<p>When Riku returns to his search with Mickey for Aqua, they finally yield some kind of results. It isn’t much, but after some time, Master Yen Sid conceded that a naturally occurring Door to Darkness was too much to hope for. On one of Riku’s days off, Master Yen Sid must have discovered a method to forcibly enter and exit the Realm of Darkness. He taught the technique to Mickey, and soon enough both he and Mickey were able to set foot into the Realm of Darkness. That’s where luck for them ended. Heartless were far stronger in the Realm of Darkness, and while Nobodies were still rare there, they were far more common in the shadows than they ever were in the Realm of Light. With so much to search and explore and fight their way through, another three weeks of searching ended with no signs of Aqua.</p>
<p>The castle in Radiant Garden, however, was a little more different than usual.</p>
<p>Aeleus and Dilan were nowhere to be found in the entrance, and the castle doors looked as if someone had hit them very hard and very fast. A sizable dent in the steel and wood told him that much at least. Odd marks in the walls, floor, and ceiling told him much the same story. Eventually the trail of odd scorch marks run off elsewhere down the halls, and noise picks up the closer to Terra’s room he gets.</p>
<p>Outside the door sits Dilan, patiently waiting as Doctor Ward wraps his arm in bandages. A few splotches of white marrs his skin in different places. He doesn’t look too worse for wear. Aeleus stands outside the door with Ienzo murmuring something too softly for him to hear. Most of the noise comes from Ms. Aarin, who’s taken on a personality Riku doesn’t quite recognize. She hoots and hollers and swings an all too familiar black cloak around, crowing at the top of her lungs about some victory or another. She’s bleeding heavily from a few places, but otherwise looks fine. Riku was definitely right about her. If she claimed that cloak as a trophy and only has those few wounds, it’s more than possible that she could rip him in half if she so desired.</p>
<p>She doesn’t notice him when Riku approaches Aeleus and Ienzo, and continues to ignore him when he speaks with them. Apparently an Organization XIII member appeared to raid the castle. Larxene, Ienzo tells him. Though she didn’t seem to know that Terra was here, Ienzo tells him that he’d already spoken to Master Yen Sid to bump up security. Riku numbly thanks him and enters Terra’s room without another word. Terra is still the same. Getting better every day, but still asleep. This time Riku stays with him day and night, sleeping in the chair he sits in and staying with Terra for as long as physically possible. He’s drawn away again by his duties to Master Yen Sid, and his determination to find Aqua, but he’s reluctant when he does so, even with Cloud, Leon, and Aerith standing guard.</p>
<p>When Riku returns once more, a month and a half has passed. Finding Aqua in the Realm of Darkness has been, for the most part, a fruitless effort. There’s evidence she’s been wandering through places in the Realm of Darkness, be it age-old marks from a fight a long time ago, a whiff of the stale smell of Light, or an old footprint marked in long dried mud. But there is no sign of Aqua herself. He’d seen Sora a few times since his last visit to Radiant Garden. A few calls on the Gummiphone, a few encounters in front of Master Yen Sid’s desk, but nothing more. He was no closer to recovering the Power of Waking just as he and Mickey were no closer to finding Aqua. Though he knew he couldn’t rush things, time felt as if it were running out, like their chances of winning this inevitable fight with Xehanort were slipping out of his hands. If only Terra were awake, then maybe his heart could lead them to Aqua’s, and from Aqua, to Ventus.</p>
<p>With any luck, visiting Terra now would be a weight off of his own shoulders. With any luck, Terra would be awake or stirring. They could rouse him properly, use his heart to track down Aqua, and leave him to rest and recover until his remaining wounds heal. With any luck, Mickey and Riku’s wild goose chase all throughout the Realm of Darkness for an elusive Keyblade Master could end sooner rather than later, and Terra can be with those he knew instead of Keybearers he had no recollection of. But luck was not often on his side.</p>
<p>Entering the castle, Riku was met with silence. There wasn’t a soul in the hallway. Not Dilan, not Aeleus, not Ienzo. As he walks towards the ever familiar room housing the unconscious Keybearer, Riku finds that the castle is even quieter than usual. No Leon, no Yuffie, no Doctor Ward, no Ms. Aarin. He approaches the door, and much to his dismay, there isn’t a guard in sight. No Merlin, no Kairi, no Lea. Something is wrong. Riku tries not to let it consume him. Perhaps they were in the middle of a guard switch? Maybe the guard just had to take a leak? Bodily functions just didn’t stop while someone was on patrol, and the room that held Terra certainly didn’t have a bathroom. A sink, yes, but even in the most desperate of situations, Riku would rather run all the way out of the castle and find a decent covering of bushes and trees to do his business behind than pee in the sink. He might have grown up on an island, but he definitely wasn’t an animal. And whoever was on guard duty surely wasn’t an animal either. But it still sat uncomfortable in his gut. He found he had to work up the courage to open up the door, and it took every ounce of his willpower to move instead of standing there in the doorway, gawking like a fish.</p>
<p>Running back through the halls he’d just come from, Riku tries to find the connection in his heart that had initially led him to Terra. Nothing answers in return. Not a pulse, not a feeling, nothing. He tries harder, calls harder, and still he’s met with radio silence. His own heart, though still calling out, feels like it sinks directly into his gut. There were good reasons for trees being green, for the sky being blue, and for the residents of this enormous castle being absent. Of course he wasn’t going to find anyone in the castle right now. They likely discovered exactly what he had seen only moments earlier. Nothing would be getting done today, not with Terra missing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lmao yoink bye terra see you soon<br/>sorry y'all get left with a cliffhanger but im tired and hungy and i cant stop thinking about gay lawyers. also asuras wrath, cause i do love me some ridiculously dramatic anime man pain from time to time. my two ocs weren't supposed to show up this often but *soft gay shrugging noises*<br/>y'all get to suffer the wrath of my big idiot herbo and her tiny doctor man<br/>hope y'all enjoyed, and shoutout to Beastrage and IvaliceForever, y'all make this stuff worthwhile</p>
<p>i hope this sustained you, jun lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Awakening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>His steps ring out in the emptiness.</p>
<p>There is no one here with him.</p>
<p>Void surrounds him, engulfs him, smothers him.</p>
<p>The light beneath his feet keeps him safe, keeps him from drowning in the dark.</p>
<p>But not all light is safe.</p>
<p>The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao guess whos finally back. i have been consumed first by gay lawyers, then by the ever increasing extremes of xiv. and now, thanks to the Melody of Memory demo, i am finally being consumed by kh. so its circular i guess. or something. anyways here you go, its 5k, its unbeta'd, we die like men in this chillies.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He isn’t sure which part of him touches the ground first, but when he’s finally cognizant enough to realize he’s touched down, he’s already been laid out on his side. Beneath him, the ground is cool and smooth, feeling something like granite or glass, and while he doesn’t feel overly warm, the coolness of it is nice. He feels like he’s just been drowned, fished out of the deep end of a lake and left to lie where he’s been dragged. But he’s not wet. He’s sure he isn’t wet. The ground beneath him isn’t wet, either. But his body still feels heavy and slick like he’s been swimming in a lake for the past week or so. When he opens his eyes, he’s able to confirm that he isn’t wet.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know where he is, or why he’s lying on the ground like this, but as he is now, he certainly doesn’t feel any kind of panic. He can see his hand and arm stretched out in front of his face, a black wristband wrapped tight around his wrist. It doesn’t gleam like it’s wet. Then again, with how much is illuminated, he can’t be certain. He can see his arm and hand, yes, but everything else is a black fog. Beneath him the ground is as inky as the void, and the places where the horizon should be is just as inky. Maybe a slight shade lighter, but empty and dark all the same. There’s only enough light to illuminate himself.</p>
<p>It doesn’t bother him, existing here like this. It’s not so bad. It feels familiar, like he’s been here before. Even with the only sights being his own body, he feels at peace.</p>
<p>It takes him some time to force his body up, and when he’s finally sitting up, he heaves a sigh. His left arm tingles as heat rushes into it. He must have been lying on it funny while he was asleep. The strange tingling and heat evens out soon enough, though he pays it little mind while he looks around. There’s still nothing. Ground black as pitch beneath him, sky empty as the void around him. He pushes himself to his feet eventually. The same rush of heat and tingling fills his right leg. Though weird, considering he’d been lying on his left side, he pays it no mind. Just like his arm, the tingling and the heat evens out and fades, leaving him standing where he once lay.</p>
<p>
  <b>“You’re awake.”</b>
</p>
<p>Though the words are sudden, they do not startle him. They weren’t spoken, no, not like how he would speak to another. They instead manifest, filling his head and escaping like wisps into the air. It’s not his voice, but it’s not a stranger’s, either. It’s familiar. Comforting. Safe.</p>
<p>
  <b>“I have missed you.”</b>
</p>
<p>“I’ve missed you, too.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t realize he’s said it aloud, but he finds that he means it all the same. He’s missed them. He doesn’t remember who the voice belongs to, and his words ring out into the emptiness around him. They do not soak into the air or fade as the other’s did. Instead they echo, ringing through the space until he can no longer hear them. The voice doesn’t respond to him. He casts his eyes around him again. Still nothing.</p>
<p>And then-</p>
<p>
  <b>“You have forgotten yourself. You have forgotten me.”</b>
</p>
<p>He opens his mouth to protest, to defend himself, to assure them that he hasn’t forgotten. But he closes his mouth soon after. If he knows it’s a lie, then somehow they would know it’s a lie, too. They speak again in the silence that follows.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Not all is lost. Memories are bound to the heart, and your heart still beats strong. Follow your heart, and you will remember yourself. You will remember me.”</b>
</p>
<p>Just as he’s about to open his mouth to question the unheard voice, birds flock and take off from beneath his feet. The sound he lets out as he backpedals is undignified. Thankfully, as the doves fly and light shines up from beneath them, the unheard voice doesn’t seem to hear him. And once the doves have disappeared into the void, something new becomes visible in the darkness.</p>
<p>Beneath him is a massive expanse of stained glass, full of blues and greens and purples. The image in the glass depicts a young boy no older than eight, floating on his back with his eyes closed. Short brown hair covers his head, and he wears a simple grey tunic with a pair of muted blue hakama bottoms. The world beyond the boy in glass is a field lined with forests, colours awash in the midnight blue sky above it. Where stars should be dotting the sky sits a large, circular motif, filled with smaller circles. A man’s face grim and scarred face is framed in one of the circles, but the others are filled with a symbol akin to a bleeding heart. The man’s face is familiar, but the boy’s even moreso. Looking at him closer, his right hand moves up to touch at his own shoulder. It touches metal, smooth and cool and strong. The boy has metal on his arm, too. Browns and golds painted in blues and purples. The name of the boy strikes him, and the unheard voice echoes it.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Terra.”</b>
</p>
<p>Terra. The boy’s name is Terra.</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p><em>His</em> name is Terra.</p>
<p>
  <b>“A gift, from one you hold dear.”</b>
</p>
<p>He’d been given the name, a new name, by his father. A name that held the power of the earth beneath his feet, steady and unmoving, that of which is the seat of all life. A name his father had believed would guide him and protect him through his journey as-</p>
<p>Terra’s eyes drift from the picture of his own face all the way towards the smaller portrait. The grim man with the scarred face. Black hair pulled back and tied tight to his head, a mustache and beard, grey just beginning to streak the sides of his head, and steely grey eyes, full of strength and stability and warmth.</p>
<p>His father.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Eraqus.”</b>
</p>
<p>Eraqus.</p>
<p>His father.</p>
<p>Memories of warm summer nights spent under the stars, memories of thunderstorms spent hidden in Eraqus’ cloak, memories of winter play, memories of autumn walks. Everything seems to hit him at once about his father. He didn’t remember much before his third year in life, or who his true father was, but Eraqus had always been there with him for as long as he could remember. The years spent learning about life and nature and the heart with him, the years spent making snowmen and sliding down frozen hills, the years spent laughing and loving and experiencing life as only a child could. It squeezes his heart tight in a warm and comforting way.</p>
<p>Grief sweeps through his body soon after.</p>
<p>His father… He wouldn’t be able to see Eraqus’ face anymore. Guilt pierces his heart and rips at his soul like a beast. It’s his fault that Eraqus would not be there waiting for him. His mind scrambles for his defense; if only he’d been faster, if only he’d been more understanding, if only he had spoken instead of fought. His heart knows there is no excuse. The blood of his father stains his hands. No one else but him had lain the man so low. No one else but him had dug that grave. No one else but him had kicked the weak and beaten man in. It’s all his fault.</p>
<p>Light appearing in the darkness draws his quickly fogging eyes away from the last portrait of Eraqus he may ever see again. More stained glass rises from the depths, light shining up through the glass in an array of colours. They line up like curving steps, slowly rising up higher and higher into the sky above him, until they finally stop at a pillar he hadn’t seen before. Muted light shines out of more stained glass windows in the pillar. It beckons him forwards.</p>
<p>He takes a final look down at Eraqus’ face, immortalized with that same grim expression he always wore in Terra’s final stages of testing, with warmth still managing to shine through his eyes. The guilt seizes him so hard that he nearly flees the glass he stands on, rushing towards the platforms over the abyss.</p>
<p>He forces himself to ignore the abyss as he crosses the platforms towards the new pillar. The glass beneath him is solid, feeling as sturdy as stone beneath his feet. There’s no need to worry about falling into the abyss below. The lights beneath the glass guides his feet, and silently he climbs higher and higher. Guilt still gnaws at him. His eyes still swim with colours and shapes and water. The blood of his father still clings to his hands, no matter how dry they feel or how long it’s been since he cut the man down. No matter how far he runs, no matter how high he climbs, the guilt will no doubt be there a single step behind him.</p>
<p>When he finally reaches the new pillar, Terra takes a moment to inspect what the stained glass depicts. This one is brighter than the last, the pinks and oranges and creams illuminating his skin and bouncing off of the armor on his left arm. This one depicts a cliffside at dawn, mountains painted in pink light in the background while an orange and cream sky washes the foreground in light. Three people sit on the cliffside, each one of them holding up a charm made of glass and metal and beads. This time he recognizes the faces instantly.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Aqua.”</b>
</p>
<p>The name given to his new sister. A name that held the strength of the sea and the ferocity of thunder, a name that embodied the calmness of a lake, a name that gives life and takes it away in the same ebbing patterns as waves crashing on a beach.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Ventus.”</b>
</p>
<p>The name given to his new brother. A name that carries the gale force winds and commands everything to bow at its feet. A name of freedom and bright spirits and strength of a hundred men marching to war.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Terra.”</b>
</p>
<p>Even through watery eyes, he can see the smiles and warm expressions on all of their faces. Their Wayfinders- gifts from Aqua- glinting in the new sun’s light and casting a hazy reflection into their hair. He snorts as an old memory rises, a memory of Ventus complaining that their names were all just plays on the colours of their hair. He remembers Aqua’s adamant denial of such a thing, her claims that the Master would never do something so arbitrary. And he remembers chiming in, pitching his lot with Ventus’, mentioning that he too, way back when, thought that Eraqus had been naming them by the colours of their hair when Aqua was brought to the castle to stay.</p>
<p>The guilt of failing them, of disappointing them and taking away their father and master sweeps through him. What would they say if they saw him again? What would they do if he appeared before them? Would they forgive him of his crimes? Or would they punish him for them?</p>
<p>
  <b>“Do not be afraid. The heart is never so fickle. No matter how it breaks, the heart still stands strong. Even the most broken of bonds can be repaired.”</b>
</p>
<p>The voice does not soothe him, nor does it agitate him. It fills his mind and body first with numbness, then with silence. His heart stops aching, his guilt stops gnawing, his shame stops rising. And through the silence that follows, he feels his heart beating. He feels the hearts of others beating. He feels Aqua, he feels Ventus, he feels the hearts of those he’s met and befriended and did right by. Voices of memories long past fill him, shouts of Ventus begging to have one more shot at sparring, laughter from Aqua as he himself loses his balance, witty comments he gave them when they would all bicker and snark one another. Love fills his heart, taking a spot between shame and grief and guilt. And it’s warm. It feels warm to know he loves them, even though they may never love him back. It feels warm to know their hearts still beat, just as his still does.</p>
<p>
  <b>“You’ve been gone for a long time. Long enough for prominent memory to fade into mist.”</b>
</p>
<p>Once more the rising of light draws his eyes towards the new pillar in the distance, platforms of stained glass illuminating the way through the darkness.</p>
<p>
  <b>“You have forgotten yourself. You have forgotten me. Your heart still beats strong, but is it strong enough?”</b>
</p>
<p>Dread roils in his gut. Corporeal sounds rise around him, the soft skittering of claws on stone and bodies brushing the earth. His whole body seems to tense as the noises grow.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Your heart still beats strong. Will it weather the test of time? Or will it be crushed like stone into sand?”</b>
</p>
<p>Little creatures no taller than his knees stretch out of the ground, short fur blue and black, eyes slitted and an angry red. They twitch and jerk, each of them seeming to take stock of him as they rise from non-existent shadows on the stained glass. The name of them strikes him fast and hard. Floods. Unversed. He remembers them. He remembers fighting them so many times before. But now he’s weaponless. He has no sword, no shield, no staff, no blade. They inch closer, jerky and shifting and unpredictable.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Do not be afraid. Remember yourself. There is nothing to fear.”</b>
</p>
<p>The first of the Floods attack, little claws outstretched for him. He moves on instinct, swinging his leg out and sending the little thing flying back with a sharp kick. All at once they seem to move, each of them zipping about and charging for him. He’s not fast enough to kick them all away, he already knows this. He’s practiced against them before. He’s bested countless of them before. But something is missing. Something to fight with, something he knows and holds dear. It eludes him, and leaves him defenceless.</p>
<p>But that doesn’t mean he’ll go down without a fight.</p>
<p>They get in too close too fast. He kicks again, sweeping a few of them out of his range and off into the darkness. Those that are too close latch on and dig their claws in, back legs kicking and scratching, tiny mouths and fangs digging into his pants. He’s quick to start ripping them off, grabbing them by the skulls, the antennae, the legs. He throws them, either into others who haven’t reached him yet or off the pillar into the abyss.</p>
<p>One of them leaps at him. He backhands it hard with his left hand. Fur and flesh meet armor, and the little creature bounces away into the darkness, dissolving as it goes. He immediately starts swinging with his left hand. Others that he hits with his armor react the same way, falling and dissolving into nothing.</p>
<p>He kicks and rips and swings, pulling the Unversed off of his legs and sides and arms where they attack him. But where one is pulled away and tossed aside, another takes its place. There’s too many of them, he’s too big a target, he’s too poorly matched against them for this range of fighting. Pain from where their claws and teeth strike him stings and throbs, steadily mounting the more he lets them get ahold of him. He can’t fight like this, not forever.</p>
<p>So he runs.</p>
<p>He rips the few that are chewing and clawing at his legs through his hakama bottoms off, and before more of them can swarm him he starts to run. He runs towards the ascending platforms of light. The Unversed give chase behind him, little legs pumping and claws skittering on the glass. The few that hang from his sides and back are either dealt a swift blow with his left hand or are torn off and tossed into the abyss. And still they chase him, chittering and chirping and scratching.</p>
<p>Patches of black and blue sweep past beneath his feet, and a few feet ahead of him a group of Floods pull themselves out of the ground. Terra refuses to falter at the sight, and instead steels himself to charge right through them. They leap at him. He backhands them in retaliation, ignoring their chittering as they’re knocked away into the darkness.</p>
<p>More Floods try the same strategy, grouping up in bigger and bigger numbers. Terra can manage swatting some of them away, but others break past his defenses and sink their claws into him. The few that manage to hit him aren’t lucky for long as he deals them blows and throws them off of him, but his luck isn’t going to hold out for much longer either.</p>
<p>More and more Floods continue to slide past beneath his feet and attack him from the front. Every attack is stronger, and every attack slows him down just a little more. The Floods chasing behind him have chances to strike at his calves and his thighs. A few manage to leap onto his back and dig their claws into his skin. The pain of it all slowly mounts, climbing higher and higher, dancing beneath his skin as more of them leap on him. Something makes his shorter hairs stand on end from the back of his neck all the way down to his arms and legs. The pain is fast approaching unbearable until something within him snaps.</p>
<p>A crack of thunder booms out into the emptiness. The Unversed that had been attacking him fall, fading into motes of darkness. His muscles spasm for a moment as spells work their way back into his memory.</p>
<p>Thundaga. Firaga. Blizzaga. Aeroga. Graviga. Quake.</p>
<p>All of them are dangerous without the use of a weapon to channel them through.</p>
<p>Terra doesn’t have a choice.</p>
<p>More Floods leap into the fray, and Terra has only a moment to shake off the last of the Thundaga spell before he throws his arm out to cast Firaga. The Unversed before him seem to explode into nothingness as the fire spell races past. He fires off another spell behind him at the Unversed giving chase. They too disappear at the intensity of the commands. And all down his left arm, Terra can feel trapped sparks between his armor and his skin, burning and sizzling out. It’s painful, but certainly better than being chewed and scratched to death by the Unversed.</p>
<p>With their numbers temporarily thinned out, Terra makes a break for it again, ignoring the new wave of exhaustion that follows him. It’s what he gets for firing off a Thundaga and two Firagas without rest in between or a weapon to channel the energy. He was never well-practiced with his spells to begin with, not without something to channel it through. He could cast without a weapon- any good fighter can, but he’d never been as proficient at it as Aqua or Ventus. Aqua and Ventus could summon winds and fires and storms with a little bit of concentration and a flick to discharge the magic. They’d rarely faced the strength of an unharnessed magical attack, while he’d always suffer from some form of backlash. He’d always placed more trust in his physical attacks, anyways. The voice of Aqua admonishing him for skimping on his magic training rings in his head. It’s only now, when he could truly use the expertise of careful casting, that he regrets not training harder with magic.</p>
<p>The Floods are quick to catch up with him. He tries to aim his magic a little more precisely this time around. He doesn’t have the luxury of firing off spells at the moment, not with pain and dizziness sweeping through him. A quick Graviga crushes the first wave of Floods behind him. Another hasty Thundaga takes care of the second wave that bursts out of the motes of darkness. A few of them get too close for his liking while the muscles in his arms spasm. Thankfully, a quick few swings at them with his armored arm shakes out the spasms and nurses a little bit of feeling back into it, even though it’s more a tingling than a real feeling. The feeling of being breathless takes its place. He’s using too much magic too fast. Mana Exhaustion, he can hear Eraqus’ voice say in his head. He can’t keep doing this. He pushes himself to run faster, to climb higher, to reach the next pillar as quickly as possible.</p>
<p>He has to fire off another set of Firagas and a Blizzaga before he reaches the next pillar. Light shines down from the sky somewhere and casts its glow onto the pillar. The remaining Floods not destroyed by fire or ice skid to a stop before they can get their little claws onto the pillar. Terra watches, bending over and heaving for his breath as they twitch and jerk in irritation just before the pillar. They stay like that for a few moments, the Unversed twitching and watching Terra while he tries to catch his breath and watches them in return. It’s not soon enough for his liking when they finally disappear back into the darkness. He’d be lying if he said the relief didn’t nearly knock him to his knees.</p>
<p>
  <b>“So much to remember… And so little time to do so.”</b>
</p>
<p>Terra looks up as the unheard voice breathes words into his soul. The pillar, though illuminated by light shining up from below, is broken and shadowed in places. From what he can see of the remaining image, it’s filled with oranges, reds, and browns. A circular motif sits near the top, once again housing the portrait of Eraqus in a smaller circle. Beside him in the motif are portraits of the others. Aqua, Ventus, a mouse he can barely recall as Mickey, and… And…</p>
<p>
  <b>“The brightest of lights can cast the darkest shadows.”</b>
</p>
<p>Xehanort. The man’s name and face flash in his memory. Standing beside Eraqus, standing before the castle, chained within water filtration plants, smiling, grinning, smirking, snarling, devouring him whole.</p>
<p>
  <b>“But there is nothing to be scared of in the darkness.”</b>
</p>
<p>Shadow blacker than night rises from the depths of the stained glass like oil and engulfs the man’s face. Ever so slowly a hand reaches up from out of the pool of darkness. Terra instinctively takes a step back, and takes another when a head and torso follow the arm out of the darkness. His heart leaps up into his throat when his heel touches nothing beneath it. When he casts a glance back, he finds himself standing at the edge of the broken glass, the light of the shards still trickling into the abyss being snuffed out. When he looks back, another arm and the rest of the torso has risen from the pitch.</p>
<p>
  <b>“There is nothing to fear.”</b>
</p>
<p>When legs finally appear, and feet plant themselves on the glass, Terra can feel his heart stopping. It’s not Xehanort, it’s not the same as the image. It’s not the same as the cruel and calculating man he sees in his memories. But it’s him, his heart <em>knows</em> it’s him, even as he’s made from nothing but darkness. Tall and broad, long, wild hair, and piercing yellow eyes slitted not unlike those of the Unversed. There’s something wrong and twisted about him, joints and hair and fingers sharper, more jagged, more feral. He’s far larger than what his memory tells him, nearly twice as broad and three times as tall as he himself is. Everything about this shadow image screams aggressive and wrong.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Remember yourself. Remember me. Your heart beats strong.”</b>
</p>
<p>Terra nearly forgets that there’s nothing beneath his heel, and feels a few miniscule shards fall from the glass into the abyss. The monster in front of him narrows its eyes.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Stand up and fight.”</b>
</p>
<p>Immediately the shadow image lunges at him with blinding speed. Terra barely manages to dodge out of the way of its claws, rolling to his feet a yard or so away. The monster has already turned and it charges him again, claws outstretched for his chest.</p>
<p>
  <b>“For your heart.”</b>
</p>
<p>Every inch of his soul feels as if it cries out in refusal. Again, Terra dodges out of the way and rolls to his feet. The beast seems to learn fast, as it turns sharply and continues its attack. Terra doesn’t have the chance to roll out of the way this time. Instead he crouches, narrowly missing the claws that had aimed to rend him in two. He jumps up into the shadow image’s space and swings with his left arm. He connects a solid punch to the monster’s face. That only seems to piss it off.</p>
<p>It twists its arm around his in ways that normal bodies are incapable of and pulls, lifting him off the ground and throwing him a few yards off. Terra lands heavy on his back and rolls, the wind leaving him in a forced rush of air. The monster is back on him in an instant. He instinctively casts as strong an Aeroga as he can manage when it reaches out to rip into his chest. The monster howls a silent howl when its claws connect with the Aeroga, and for a brief second it recoils. It’s almost muscle memory that has him rolling to his feet even as he’s regaining his breath. And he rushes the monster, this time aiming a kick for its middle.</p>
<p>The kick connects, and the monster is thrown sideways. Terra still feels breathless when the twisted version of Xehanort lands, but he tries his best to ignore it. There’s no time to have a sit down, not when the monster is already on its feet and charging him again. He casts a weak Thundara at the monster. It does something with its hand, something that cloaks it in red, twisting darkness. The shadow image swats the bolt of electricity away as if it were nothing, the shadows on its hand twisting and writhing in rage and hate. Dark Impulse. The command style that Terra had used himself the day he cast his father down in a shower of blood. The memories of it has him frozen, fear suddenly twisting his heart into knots. There’s no time for Terra to jump out of the way, even if he wasn’t struck frozen in fear. The twisted version of Xehanort lunges forwards, hand still wreathed in darkness and crackling with leftover electricity, and strikes him directly in the chest.</p>
<p>Agony explodes from within his chest and ricochets all throughout his body. His breath is forced from him again as he falls onto the glass on his back, and a dull pain strikes the back of his head where it cracks against the glass. He can barely hear the tinkling of glass falling into the abyss. There is no warmth of blood on his chest, but that doesn’t quell his fear. The twisted version of Xehanort crushes him into the glass with its palm, the darkness swirling up its arm and down around Terra’s torso.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Will you weather the test of time?”</b>
</p>
<p>The hand that isn’t red and black and writhing with power rises, and to its hand the shadow image calls a weapon. It’s unlike one Terra has ever seen, taking the shape of a key rather than a sword or club or axe. And yet it feels so terribly familiar. Something about the glowing blue eye in the hilt, something about the teeth of the key, something about the way Terra can hear the hum of its voice.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Or will you be crushed like stone into sand?”</b>
</p>
<p>Without thinking, Terra turns his head to the side, casting his eyes towards the stained glass. A hand, not unlike his own, holds the hilt of something similar. The blue steel of the guard and hilt, the way it protects the hand, the way it stretches off into shattered glass where the rest of the image should be. It burns within him, a voice howling in the depths of his soul, something that screams to be let out.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Do not be afraid.”</b>
</p>
<p>Terra’s eyes flick to where the glass just beyond him has shattered, and where the void seems to consume all light.</p>
<p>
  <b>“Remember yourself.”</b>
</p>
<p>He looks back up at the twisted version of Xehanort. By now, it’s twisted the weapon in its hand to point the teeth and the tip down towards Terra’s chest. Its eyes are glowing with a kind of ferocity that Terra can only barely remember. A mouth he couldn’t see in the darkness yawns open, and its teeth are sharp, glowing a faint blue in front of a deep purple tongue. He can hear the other’s weapon, hear its twisted voice, snarling and slathering and demanding his heart, his demise, his complete and utter control.</p>
<p>To unlock his heart.</p>
<p>
  <b>“There is nothing to fear.”</b>
</p>
<p>Something inside Terra clicks into place. He kicks up, knees striking the shadow image in the thighs and groin. The monster falters for only a moment, but it’s long enough to serve Terra’s purpose. He stretches out an arm, his hand open. And his heart calls out.</p>
<p>
  <b>“There can’t be light without shadows. But there can’t be shadows without light.”</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Ends of the Earth. </em>
</p>
<p>His Keyblade is quick to come when called, slotting itself securely in his grasp. He can hear its voice sing, a deep thrum of power that fills his body, mind, and soul with the staccato rhythm of stone striking earth and worlds breaking beneath its swing.</p>
<p>Terra swings Ends of the Earth upwards and into the monster’s Keyblade. Its balance is thrown off, its torso recoiling backwards at the strength of the hit. Ends of the Earth sings in his heart. It coaxes him to complete what he must.</p>
<p>He swings his arm back, power building up in his arm and his heart. The guard crashes into the glass beside him with a resounding crack, and all at once the power in his heart is released. Meteors born from the depths of what little mana he has left come crashing down around them, striking the glass and breaking it like a stone through a window. </p>
<p>
  <b>“There is nothing to be scared of in the darkness. The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows. But your heart still beats strong. There is nothing to fear.”</b>
</p>
<p>The monster above him howls its silent howl, singing its rage and frustration and hatred to all that might hear it deep within the void.</p>
<p>And together, they plummet into the darkness below.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*drops mic and moonwalks out*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Frenzied Flight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's too much.</p>
<p>The light, the dark, the stains, the oil, the shadows, the ice, the fire, the thunder, the scars, the stone, the warmth, the chill, the pain, the aches, the earth, the wind, the sky, the gardens, the town, the ruins, everything.</p>
<p>All of it.</p>
<p>It's all too much.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was foamin at the mouth over this chapter for a few days but i think i got whatever it was that was driving me nuts about it. plus im tired of looking at it and thinking about it so like. here it is. i dont think it has typos anymore but i could be wrong. whatever we die like men.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The moment his eyes fly open is the moment everything worsens.</p>
<p>He jolts up in bed, his heart hammering in his chest, blood rushing through his ears, wild beeping and the thunderous crashing of stone through stone filling the air around him. Light flickers and bounces around from an old oil lamp turned up high, the blankets covering him are soft and smooth and warm, the smell of the air around him is stale and dry but light in his lungs.</p>
<p>It’s way too much all too quickly.</p>
<p>Terra is immediately overwhelmed by everything surrounding him. All of these sensations are familiar, yes. He remembers experiencing them many, many times in his life. But after who knows how long spent not in control of his own body, of being displaced, of his body, heart, and mind being fractured and separated, everything is far too bright, far too loud, far too <em>much</em>.</p>
<p>What sounds like shouting comes from the door, a cacophony of swears and feet striking carpeted stone floors as whatever is outside that door speeds off. It startles him, and the beeping in the room picks up. Though pride would later force him to admit he was calm and collected, right now Terra could admit that everything around him is causing an unignorable panic within his body, mind, and heart.</p>
<p>He tries to move, tries to swing his legs off of the edge of the bed, tries to get himself to his feet. His right leg is too stiff. Something pinches in his arms. Something tugs at his face. Something pokes inside of his nose too hard.</p>
<p>Though weak, Terra moves fast enough to remove everything from his body in a way one might describe as a blind panic. He ignores the pain in his arm and wrist, ignores the way the rapid beeping turns into a high pitched, continuous wail, ignores the strange hiss of air as he pulls whatever is on his face off. His hands manage to yank whatever is on his leg off in pieces. Whether or not it was supposed to come off in pieces or all in one, Terra doesn’t stop to think about it. It doesn’t matter.</p>
<p>His knees and legs buckle underneath him when he stands, and mild pain jolts through his right leg. It takes careful flailing and incredible dumb luck to keep himself on his feet. The pain doesn’t stop in his leg, and the skin and muscle on his chest and back feels tight and sore. He doesn’t know why, can’t remember why. His heart continues to race in his chest.</p>
<p>It’s during his minute pause to regain his balance that Terra notices armor plated boots. <em>His</em> boots. He remembers putting them on every single morning around the time the sun started lightening the mountains in preparation of his day of training. Walking over to them is a struggle unlike anything Terra’s experienced in a very long time. His steps are small and feeble, and his whole body shakes like an earthquake is passing beneath him. He can’t figure out why. Thankfully, there are chairs and desks and walls to help him stand upright. Putting his boots on is a far easier task. Despite the pain of moving his right leg and putting his full weight on it, Terra simply slips his feet into the boots and traces a quick bit of unaspected magic up the seams. They tighten automatically until they’re snug and comfortable on his feet.</p>
<p>Bent over and leaning against the wall, Terra catches a glimpse of his outfit. Grey shirt, grey sweatpants. Not his clothes. No time to find his clothes. He’ll find them later when everything stops being way too much all at once. Standing back upright is a challenge, as is walking to the door. His body screams and begs to stop, while his mind and heart howls and snarls to move faster. Twisting the door knob is also a struggle Terra doesn’t understand. But at least it’s easier than walking.</p>
<p>As soon as he’s taken a step out of the doorway and into the hall, the hairs on the back of his neck, arms, and legs all stand up on end. A shudder wracks his body, and the uncomfortable prickle of something trying to worm its way under his skin accosts him immediately. It’s a feeling that Terra recognizes almost immediately, both from his nearly forgotten dream and from months spent working with that feeling.</p>
<p>Darkness.</p>
<p>He doesn’t stop to confirm his position or to check where he has to go. All he knows is that he needs to get out of here immediately. He picks a direction, one he vaguely recalls the person outside the room door running away from, and he stumbles as quickly as he can against the wall. His right leg continues to beg him to stop, pounding a dull pain through his thigh and into his hips and foot. He ignores it. He can deal with the pain later, once he’s far, far away from the darkness that seems to emanate from this place.</p>
<p>Terra passes by several staircases as he moves, and each time he passes them he tries to hurry faster. Each set of stairs seem to funnel a lingering darkness upwards from the depths of this place. It’s not an active darkness, not one that seeks to consume all in its wake, but a passive one. It’s almost like a stain, like darkness had once soaked the lower levels and drained, leaving discoloured splotches in its wake. It’s not a new darkness, but it’s not ancient either. Terra doesn’t care to investigate. He doesn’t want anything more to do with darkness, and he’s certainly not about to go seeking it out for fun. The shadows around him already seem to be moving, despite nothing being within them when he looks. He’s had enough of the tricks of the darkness to last a lifetime.</p>
<p>By the time Terra reaches the enormous doors leading out of this gargantuan place, he’s exhausted. His breath enters and leaves him in heavy gulps and wheezes. His whole body shakes like he’s been dunked in frigid waters. But he desperately fights it, desperately inches his way through the massive doors, flees as quickly as he can from the lingering darkness saturating the halls of this strange place.</p>
<p>Outside is familiar, but only just. He doesn’t bother to think about it.</p>
<p>The stains of darkness are better out here, but not by much. He can still feel it blotting parts of the land where the world seems to be struggling to recover. But at least there is light interspersed between it. Or at the very least there is neutral soil, places where neither darkness nor light rule. Terra decides that he would rather take shelter in a patch of soil where light reigns instead of neutral or stained ground. Anything that helps chase away the feeling of panic and darkness would be useful.</p>
<p>He moves a few steps outside of the doorway and onto cobble walkways, only for his legs to truly buckle beneath him. His knee hits the ground hard, and it rattles a sharp but momentary pain through his right thigh. Wheezing and shaking as he is, Terra knows that he won’t make it away from this stained place alone. Despite not knowing the hows or whys of his current weakness, he knows from plenty of battle experience that he won’t be walking away from this place like there’s nothing wrong with him.</p>
<p>Within him thrums the staccato rhythm of stones striking the earth and the ground wavering under its might. He doesn’t need to be told twice to summon his Keyblade. Ends of the Earth responds quickly enough, even if Terra is misremembering the finer points in his panic, and the feel of its cool, smooth grip in his hand helps calm him just enough to look above him. There’s empty sky above him, dotted with the smallest wisps of white clouds. Enough space to throw his Keyblade.</p>
<p>Using his right arm, Terra throws Ends of the Earth into the sky as high as he can. It’s not very high, considering how weak he feels, but it’s certainly high enough that when willed, Ends of the Earth returns to him in the form of his Keyblade Glider. It hovers beside him patiently while he struggles to haul himself onto it, which is a far easier task than standing on his own.</p>
<p>Once he’s sitting astride his Glider, Terra instinctively reaches for his left shoulder. His fingers meet fabric and skin instead of metal. What calm was restored when he had gripped his Keyblade vanishes. He can’t leave this world without his Keyblade Armor. Wherever it has gone, Terra doesn’t know. It will have to be something else he searches for once he’s decided he’s safe away from darkness. It certainly isn’t optimal to be without it. Somewhere deep down, Terra had hoped that he could simply fly away from this world and find some other world not speckled with stains to hide in for a little bit. He would simply have to find a new place to hide here in this world instead. He’ll find his Keyblade Armor when he finds his clothes. Later.</p>
<p>Without thinking, Terra grips onto the handles of his Glider and twists. The Glider is in motion immediately, taking off from where it hovered above the ground to an altitude higher up. Somewhere where the denizens of darkness would struggle to reach him, even with projectile attacks at their disposal. Even up here, away from the room and away from that strange building’s lingering darkness, everything is way too much. The wind snapping at his clothes and whipping through his hair, the tears prickling in his eyes from such high speeds, the light shining down on him and warming his skin. It’s still far too overwhelming for him to handle.</p>
<p>Beneath him colours pass, flashes of red and yellow and orange and blue amidst the greys and greens and silver. A town, maybe. He doesn’t know, and doesn’t care to check. It’s already another point of overstimulation. He tries to ignore it, tries to block it all out, tries to focus on finding a little patch of light shining in the neutral and dark stained earth.</p>
<p>Something bright white and purple clips his Glider on the right side, and the entire Glider lurches. It’s not enough to throw him, but it’s enough to have his heart stuttering in his chest. Another of that something, buzzing with energy, strikes his Glider right in the saddle, directly beneath where he’s sitting. The entire Glider lurches again, and he tries to grip tighter to the handles. A third time something strikes, and it’s enough to tilt the whole back end of the Glider straight up. Terra doesn’t have the strength to clench his thighs around the saddle or the grip strength in his arms and hands to keep him on the Glider. He slips right off, and his heart leaps directly into his throat.</p>
<p>For a few heartstopping moments, Terra plummets through the air towards the ground. It’s only through instincts and the decade’s worth of practice that he can command his Keyblade Glider to retrieve him, however sloppy it may be. Righting himself in the air is a difficult task, and being caught by his Glider is nothing comfortable either. Something crunches, and pain lances through his thigh all the way up to his chest.</p>
<p>Terra isn’t sure where he is when he’s caught by his Glider, but it’s definitely not open sky. The edges of his Glider crash and scrape against whatever it is he’s passing by, and before he knows it, Terra is losing what little altitude he has left.</p>
<p>His crash landing forces something else to make that horrid crunching sound, and once more pain lances through him, this time originating in his side. He clings to his Glider with all his might as it skids across the ground, and yelps when it jolts to a stop against something, effectively tossing him from the saddle as the whole Glider tilts. His landing from the saddle steals the air straight out of his lungs, and while his Glider returns to its familiar key shape, Terra chokes and coughs and struggles to regain his breath.</p>
<p>Past his choking and wheezing, Terra can hear what sounds like bricks hitting cobble and wood collapsing to the earth. It’s hard to tell, but thankfully it doesn’t seem to be anywhere near him. He wasn’t sure when he had closed his eyes- he probably squeezed them shut during his crash landing- but opening his eyes now, it’s a tiny relief to see that whatever it was that was collapsing was far enough away from him to pose him no threats.</p>
<p>What does pose him a threat, however, is the sound of boots against stone. It takes all of his strength to not only push himself up onto his elbows but to focus on the sound of boots. Everything around him still proves to be too much for him. Too much light, too much shadow, too much chill from the stone beneath him, too much pain in his leg and side, too much dust, too much rubble, too much everything. His heart still hasn’t stopped racing. At this rate, it certainly doesn’t seem like it’s going to stop any time soon.</p>
<p>“Well, well, well. Seems like my prey was easier to shoot down than I thought it would be.”</p>
<p>The voice seems to turn his whole body into ice as his heart stutters a few beats. Around a corner of a broken wall- was it a wall? A building? It’s still too much to comprehend- steps a figure cloaked in black. He knows that voice well enough to know who it is. He looks different, <em>very</em> different than what he remembers him to be, but it’s still very much him. He doesn’t remember his name, but he remembers his face and voice well enough, even beyond the scars and eye patch.</p>
<p>The smile that he gives Terra is both far too toothy and far too menacing for it to mean anything good.</p>
<p>“You really pack quite a punch, kid, you know that? It takes a lot for a thing like me to bleed, and you went ahead and diced me up like a yule time ham.”</p>
<p>Terra instinctively grabs for his Keyblade, his hand closing around the hilt of the weapon. He doesn’t have it for long. It’s almost faster than he can blink that the figure is upon him. A foot stomps down on Terra’s forearm, and the scream of pain he lets out is loud and clipped. He can’t fight through the pressure and pain for long, and he releases Ends of the Earth when the man grinds his foot down harder into his arm.</p>
<p>“Ah ah ah, not so fast there, kiddo. I’m not letting you slice and dice me for a third time. I’ve already got plenty of scars thanks to you.”</p>
<p>A hand plants itself on Terra’s head and pulls back on his hair <em>hard</em>. He hisses in pain as he’s forced to look up at the man’s face, and the man tugs again when he instinctively grits and bears his teeth.</p>
<p>“You really gave the old coot some trouble, you know? For ten whole years, you’re his ‘perfect vessel’, carting him around in that body of yours like a loyal little dog. And suddenly you up and bite the hand that feeds you. What is up with that?”</p>
<p>“Let go of me.” Terra hisses, and for a brief moment he’s startled at the sound of his own voice. It sounds broken and quiet and worn, like he hadn’t used it for a long, long time. The man just laughs, his whole mouth opening wide enough to show every last one of his teeth. His breath reeks of rot and stale air.</p>
<p>“Oh, I won’t be letting go of you this time, kid. Y’see, the old coot needs a body for his master plan. And if I don’t bring him yours, well… Let’s just say I’m not entirely thrilled about the idea of being on the receiving end of another Keyblade for a long time.”</p>
<p>With his hand buried in Terra’s hair, he has no choice but to crane backwards when the man pulls him back and up. He’s all too aware of his Keyblade being left behind on the ground, and he gives an indignant shout when the man kicks his Keyblade away from the both of them. Ends of the Earth skids and clatters against the broken ground before fading in a swirl light. Before Terra can try and summon it again, the man grabs ahold of both of his wrists with an icy hand and wretches them behind his back, squeezing tighter and tighter. Something sharp digs into his skin, something Terra can only assume are claws. And with one hand in his hair and the other holding his wrists, the man has no troubles fully lifting him off the ground and pushing him back to his feet.</p>
<p>“Not to worry, kid. You can keep your Keyblade, just as long as you don’t use it on me.”</p>
<p>Ignoring the way Terra shakes while standing, the man shoves him, forcing him to scramble to retain balance and move forwards.</p>
<p>“And hey, think of things this way, kid. If you go willingly and serve the old coot, you might even retain more consciousness this time. No more watching from the sidelines or sleeping.”</p>
<p>An abyss suddenly yawns before them, and from it streams the kind of darkness that reaches and grabs and chokes and consumes all before it. Almost immediately Terra is trying to dig in his heels, trying to stop their movement, trying to squirm out of the man’s iron grip. The man just laughs as he pushes Terra forwards, inching them closer to the darkness before them. The last remains of his dream spur his instincts to fight, no matter how exhausted he feels. A Thundara tears through his body, his heart stumbling in his chest while the muscles in his arms and legs convulse. The man barks in pain, but he doesn’t let go. Instead, his claws dig in deeper, and Terra barely has the breath to hiss. It’s unfair how quickly the man seems to recover when Terra is still wheezing.</p>
<p>“You’re a real pain in the ass, you know that? Just stop fighting it, kid. It’ll all be easier if you do.”</p>
<p>Terra tries to redouble his efforts, tries to break free of the man’s hold on him, but he’s far too weak, far too exhausted. Everything that’s already happened has already sapped him of what little strength he has, and squirming like this is simply draining him of the rest of it. But he can’t stop, can’t let himself be pushed into this darkness, not like this. He fires off another thunder based spell, but the little mana he has left leaves him only with the choice to cast Thunder. The man hisses and kicks at his legs. He doesn’t seem anything more than annoyed by the spell. Fear grips his chest tight, squeezes his throat shut, chills his whole body. He can’t go in there, he can’t go back towards the darkness. It was his stupidity about darkness in the first place that made the mess he caused, he couldn’t let himself do that again. Never again.</p>
<p>“Here I come!”</p>
<p>Something enormous crashes out from behind the abyss of darkness and bowls the both of them over. Terra yelps in pain as he hits the ground, and briefly he wonders where the man behind him went when he realizes his spine has hit stone instead of flesh. It doesn’t take him long to figure it out when the man shrieks in rage and hate. Someone is fighting him, that much Terra can tell, and tilting his head backwards enough to see what’s happening confirms it.</p>
<p>Someone enormous is fighting him like a crazed wizard might. They’re far taller than Terra is, and definitely twice as broad. Judging by the voice that howls jubilant cries of battle, Terra thinks they might be a she. She swings wildly at the man, arms and torso covered in solid ice. And somehow, it’s all the man can do to block and try to backpedal. The woman keeps throwing punches, keeps striking the ground and walls and the man with ice, keeps freezing everything she touches. It would certainly be impressive if the flashiness of it all wasn’t so overwhelming.</p>
<p>A chill strikes him down to his bones, his wrists throb and sting, his thigh cries in agony, his side flames up in pain, fragmented light from ice and snow batters his eyes, his heart skips too many beats, and it’s all too much.</p>
<p>Someone else lands directly beside him, and Terra nearly jumps out of his skin. The hands that touch him this time, though overwhelming, are warm and gentle, pulling him up into a sitting position and holding him steady. When Terra looks at him, a niggling feeling of familiarity digs into him. It’s hard to focus with everything flooding his senses, but the boy looks almost as old as he remembers Ventus being, give or take a year. Silvery hair frames a face that’s seen enough sun to show freckles, and piercing blue eyes frantically look over both Terra’s body and his face. For a few moments, Terra doesn’t register anything as he tries to remember who this boy is, and why he feels familiar. It’s only when the image of a little boy in a yellow shirt on the beach comes to mind does he remember who this boy is. He isn’t sure what comes over him, but Ends of the Earth is in his hands before he can think anything through.</p>
<p>“In your hand, take this key.”</p>
<p>The boy must have been saying something to him, but he stops when Terra speaks. His voice is still rough and weak, but it doesn’t stop Terra from extending the grip of the Keyblade towards the boy, arms shaking but determined.</p>
<p>“So long as you have the makings, then through this simple act of taking, its wielder you shall one day be.”</p>
<p>By now the boy’s eyes have blown wide, almost as if he was remembering something that he had forgotten.</p>
<p>“And you will find me, friend- no ocean will contain you then. No more borders around, or below, or above-”</p>
<p>“So long as you champion the ones you love.”</p>
<p>The boy, though having finished what Terra was saying, seems absolutely blown away by what Terra’s said. His jaw works for a bit before the boy speaks up again, in a voice that Terra knows has grown since his days on the beach.</p>
<p>“That strange man on the beach- the one that came from another world- that was you...”</p>
<p>Terra doesn’t have a chance to respond. A body sails over their heads and crashes into a wall before slumping to the ground. Terra doesn’t have to look twice to know it was the man who had assailed him. Covered in ice and looking decently worse for wear, the man fumbles to his feet. He’s missing his trenchcoat, Terra realizes, and its whereabouts are made perfectly clear when the woman from before practically flies over them and into the man. She’s already wearing the trenchcoat, with new ice clinging to it to make her body and arms into enormous frozen clubs.</p>
<p>The man chokes at the impact, and before Terra can blink, another abyss yawns open. Both the woman and the man tumble in, and the boy holding him steady barks something out. It takes a few thundering heartbeats but the woman easily toddles backwards and out of the abyss. When it closes, the man is nowhere in sight.</p>
<p>“Not to worry! I’m all good!”</p>
<p>Her voice is loud enough to hurt his ears and the boy sighs like he’s dealt with terrifying moments like that before, a moment Terra hadn’t realized <em>was</em> terrifying until he registered his heart hammering away in his chest. And judging by the way the woman toddles and teeters about, Terra is willing to bet that the boy’s dealt with it more than he has ever wanted to. His heart only starts to calm down when the boy looks back to him.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>For a brief moment, Terra pauses to think. Everything is still too much to handle, too much to really register as reality. The pain ebbing and flowing through his body, the light shining through broken stone, shadows soaking the world where light can’t quite reach. All of it is a lot, but the way this boy feels- small, lingering motes of darkness overpowered by light and experience and time- seems to soothe a few of his frayed nerves. And afterwards, he nods.</p>
<p>“A little better now, at least.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>despite experiencing sensory overload myself, i have no idea how to accurately translate that feeling into words. big shrug emojis i guess.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. A Week of Thought</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Terra's done a lot of terrible things in his life. He's killed, he's tortured, he's ruined. Sure, it wasn't technically him that's done all of those things, but it was still his body, and therefore his responsibility. But what he isn't sure of is what he did to deserve this. Climbing up what feels like hundreds of stairs with only one functioning leg is a hell Terra would never wish upon even his worst enemies. It's almost as terrible as stepping on a Lego.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey im sick of writing this chapter. it was supposed to be longer, but it's gotten to the point where it would be just way too long if i kept going, so the rest of it will be in the next chapter lol. hope y'all enjoy it. i hope i wrote these kids right</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
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<p>Terra’s been here for nearly a week now. Things haven’t been awful here, but it hasn’t been a whole lot better either.</p>
<p>After having been rescued from Xigbar on Radiant Garden, Terra had agreed to let the enormous woman carry him to a doctor with Riku at her side. The woman, who he now knows as Ms. Aarin, badgered him near relentlessly the entire walk from where he had crash-landed all the way to the doctor. Terra could barely answer them then, and he could only barely remember them now. Something about running and danger… Terra can’t bring himself to care about remembering the questions at all. At that point, everything had started to blur together in a cacophony of sounds and sights and sensations. It never stopped being too much all at once, but things seemed to have gotten worse at that point. Beyond that, everything is a blur.</p>
<p>He barely remembers being awake at a doctor’s office, barely remembers the pain of resetting bones, barely remembers being carried out. He can sort of remember Riku, and he can sort of remember a train car in the stars, though Terra isn’t sure if that was a dream or not. After that he can remember meeting with someone he remembers vaguely, but it was incredibly brief, and a pillow and bed had been underneath him minutes after. He’d fallen asleep near immediately. </p>
<p>The next morning he had been woken by a set of firm knocks on a door, and Terra had pulled a muscle trying to stand up to bow before Master Yen Sid. Though old and grey, Master Yen Sid’s thinner and frailer appearance hides great strength. He had easily forced Terra to sit back down on the bed, and with a firm phrase of admonishment, Terra was more than happy to sit and listen.</p>
<p>The tale Master Yen Sid had relayed to him was something Terra at first couldn’t process. Since Xehanort had first claimed his body as his own, several years had passed. A decade or more, Master Yen Sid had said. For over a decade Terra had been the puppet Xehanort had danced about, ruining the lives of people far and wide through the greater known universe. He had been the ark of which countless worlds collapsed into darkness, the harbinger of death to so many innocents, the destructor of peace all for the sake of war and curiosity. Terra couldn’t believe it when he first heard it, and Master Yen Sid had left him in the room he delegated to him.</p>
<p>More than a decade his body had been taking and destroying. He couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t believe it. A day passed while Terra sat in his room with that mindset. It couldn’t have been real. He’d just been asleep and had a terrible dream. Aqua would be off doing something important that only Keyblade Masters could do, and Ventus would be right there on her heels, making friends with everyone he met. Everything was fine. It had to be fine. A surprise visit from Riku the following day made the world beneath him lurch.</p>
<p>Just as Master Yen Sid had visited him in the morning, Riku had appeared, knocking softly on his door and peering in when Terra didn’t respond. Terra had been awake for a little over an hour, sitting up in bed and staring out the window into the starry skies and twilit forests. He was certain he was awake, certain that everything was fine, until he turned his head to look at Riku.</p>
<p>The little boy in a yellow shirt racing across the beach with his friend a few steps behind was no longer a little boy. He’d grown so much, had faint scars nicking his arms and his fingers, had a deeper voice and a fire in his eyes and years of battle experience that only masters should have. Terra watched him enter and approach as if he was in a trance, unable to comprehend that the boy he had met and bequeathed the ability to wield a Keyblade was the young man who sat at his bedside.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>Riku’s voice still carried the same intonation and expression as it did when he was a child, but the pitch was something different and alien. With the question, Terra’s trance had broken, and he was able to answer him in a voice that still sounded rough from disuse. He felt tired and sore and oh so very weak. Riku’s brows furrowed in a mix of sympathy and something Terra hesitated to call anger. But it disappeared in a flash, replaced with a small grin that bared a flicker of the boy Terra once knew.</p>
<p>“Master Yen Sid said you might be a little out of it for a while. You’ve been away for nearly twelve years, after all.”</p>
<p>Twelve years. Riku’s words had rattled around inside Terra's head like alarm bells. Twelve years he had been consumed by the darkness. Twelve long years he was a vessel for Xehanort to use and abuse others with.</p>
<p>“It’s hard, getting used to being yourself again, but you’re not alone, not anymore. We’re all here to help you.”</p>
<p>Before Terra could process his words enough to respond, the door had creaked open a little more, and Mickey had poked his head in. His eyes seemed to light up at the sight of him and Riku sitting and talking, and a rather cheesy looking grin had taken over his face.</p>
<p>“Well shucks! It’s good to see you awake and well, Terra! It’s been a dog’s age since we last saw one another!”</p>
<p>At the sound of Mickey’s voice, Riku had immediately turned to look back at Mickey. Terra could only tilt his head in mild confusion. He couldn’t recall then whether or not he and Mickey had spoken to one another before. A small, nagging part of him insisted that he had, but his memory had still felt somewhat fuzzy. Mickey seemed unaware of Terra’s confusion.</p>
<p>“I’d love to catch up with you sometime, Terra, but right now Riku and I have to get going!”</p>
<p>“Right, we still have to find Master Aqua in the Realm of Darkness.”</p>
<p>The mention of her name had shocked Terra into immobility, and by the time he had regained control of himself, Mickey and Riku had already said their goodbyes and well wishes and ran out the door.</p>
<p>Aqua was in the Realm of Darkness. Something cold and hard had formed in his throat, then, and it certainly hadn’t thawed out since then. He’d struggled to speak when Master Yen Sid had visited him next, and when the Good Fairies had visited to take his measurements. It hadn’t been any easier when Master Yen Sid had brought him a home cooked meal, nor when the Good Fairies had brought him a crutch. For the next three days, Terra had faltered. He could barely bring himself to speak when Master Yen Sid and the Good Fairies were in the room with him, and he rarely left the room for anything, only using the crutch given to him to attend to his bladder. For three days straight Terra spent his time locked away in his room, greeting and speaking only when he absolutely had to, and wasting the rest of the day thinking. Thinking of his life, thinking of his dreams, thinking of his friends, thinking of his family, thinking of his mistakes.</p>
<p>Everyone makes mistakes. It is how we grow, how we learn. Making mistakes is all a part of human nature.</p>
<p>But that’s for mistakes that aren’t life altering. Those are the excuses people make for simple things, like being late for a scheduled gathering or forgetting to bring home pears and peaches. That’s what mothers tell their sons and daughters after they’ve accidentally broken a window while playing. Mistakes like those come with justifications that it’s all about learning and getting better with time.</p>
<p>But there is no justification for his mistakes.</p>
<p>For him, the one who bears the weight of sins he had been warned away from committing, there is no justification. For the descent into greed. For the descent into darkness. For believing without questioning what was truth and what was lie. For purposely turning a blind eye where others would not. There is no hand waving his mistakes away.</p>
<p>There is no saying “I’m sorry” for what he’s done.</p>
<p>If it were him on the other side of this mess he’s made, he wouldn’t accept a simple “I’m sorry” either. How could he ever look at Aqua and Ventus again, having done what he has done? How could he ever think of showing himself to them? Mistakes like his are ones to fear, ones that no one should ever be stupid enough to make. And that’s what’s most terrifying of all. He had been so stupid, so naive to the reality of what was happening. He’d even turned a blind eye when Aqua had confronted him about what he was doing, what she had witnessed him doing. And how terrifying would it be going forwards, having known what he’s done, having knowledge of how poorly things can go from the simplest of things, having the experience of ignoring things when it best suited him, of the unknown if he would do something like this again.</p>
<p>How can you make mistakes, learn and grow from experience, if you fear your mistakes to begin with?</p>
<p>If only he hadn’t been so stupid. If only he hadn’t been so naive. If only he had listened to Aqua. If only he had returned to Master Eraqus when he had begun having doubts about himself in the first place. Surely that would have been a greater success in Master Eraqus’ eyes than an actual success in and of itself. No one should have been hurt for his mistakes. No one should have died because of his mistakes. Because of him, the blood of countless innocents stain his hands, dripping from his fingertips into the darkness he had once thought to walk in.</p>
<p>There is no turning back the dial. There is no moving on like nothing happened. Be it him or Xehanort, this body of his has crimes it must atone for.</p>
<p>For hurting loved ones. For damning entire worlds to darkness. For more than a decade of suffering and pain brought forth by his own hands.</p>
<p>For killing his father.</p>
<p>He had woken in Radiant Garden, confused and disoriented and afraid. Afraid of his mistakes. Afraid of the future. Afraid of *himself*. Ends of the Earth had come to him when called in his time of panic and need. A niggling thought writhes its way into his head and buries itself deep within his heart. He doesn’t deserve to wield a Keyblade. Not after what he’s done. The future resting on the shoulders of those who chose to save him from Xigbar is better off without him there. It would be safer without him there to ruin things. Without him to succumb to the darkness again. Without him to tear them apart and destroy what little hope is left. Aqua, trapped in the Realm of Darkness, is better off being rescued by Riku and Mickey, not him. Ventus, lost to time and space, is better off with Aqua retrieving him from where he hides, not him. Master Yen Sid had made it clear in Terra’s time here that he would be one of their Seven Guardians of Light. But can one who’s walked in shadow, who’s been consumed by darkness, really even qualify as a candidate for such a monumental task?</p>
<p>He isn’t fit to wield a Keyblade.</p>
<p>He isn’t fit to be a Guardian of Light.</p>
<p>They’re simply better off without him.</p>
<p>For another two days he spends his time thinking those three thoughts over and over and over again.</p>
<p>He isn’t fit to wield a Keyblade.</p>
<p>He isn’t fit to be a Guardian of Light.</p>
<p>They’re simply better off without him.</p>
<p>Master Yen Sid seems to know that something is off with him, and seems to know there is a darkness of a different kind brewing in Terra’s heart. Yet he asks nothing of Terra, other than asking that he eat and tell him how he’s feeling, how he’s healing. Terra barely manages it, feeling more useful when he’s quiet and alone and neatly out of the way of everyone else. The Good Fairies seem to notice it, too, but they too ask nothing of importance from him, instead helping him with physical therapy exercises. Another wasted effort, he thinks.</p>
<p>He isn’t fit to wield a Keyblade.</p>
<p>He isn’t fit to be a Guardian of Light.</p>
<p>They’re simply better off without him.</p>
<p>It’s after another physio session with the Good Fairies that Terra’s heart strengthens with some kind of resolve.</p>
<p>The Good Fairies congratulate him on his progress, compliment him for his determination to continue the exercises, even when they hurt or exhaust him. Terra only offers them a weak thanks and a hollow smile. Their concern is palpable, and they’re terrible at feigning it, but Terra pays them no mind, and mentions none of their worried glances and concerned frowns thrown his way. They leave soon after, bustling out with the strained flapping of little fairy wings. And with them gone, Terra is left in silence, his heart beating heavy and his breaths a little more laboured from exercise. He takes his time, sipping at a glass of water left for him, and he waits for his heart to slow and his breaths to even out. It takes longer than he would like it to, and certainly longer than it used to. A side effect of being in a coma for four months. What he wouldn’t give to be able to stand and walk normally.</p>
<p>Pushing himself off of the edge of his bed, Terra resigns himself to being unable to walk properly for some time more. With an air cast wrapped nice and firm around his thigh and leg, Terra would be relying on a crutch to move around for another month at most. At the very least the head of the crutch is comfortable enough under his right arm, or as comfortable as a crutch can be, and it helps him to move. Without it, he thinks that Master Yen Sid himself would cast some kind of improvised spell to keep him seated or lying down at all times. He’d been admonished well enough before for taking the cast off and using his leg like nothing was wrong with it back on Radiant Garden.</p>
<p>The journey to his bedroom door is slow, as is the journey towards the nearest staircase. Master Yen Sid had a habit of residing in the uppermost levels of his tower, while the rest of the empty bedrooms remained on one of the floors a few flights down from him. It’s likely got something to do with privacy and seclusion, Terra thinks, but as he manages to swing his leg and crutch up onto the first step, all he can think of it being is annoying.</p>
<p>Little by little, step by step, Terra climbs his way upwards. It’s an agonizing process, both physically and emotionally. His body soon grows tired, and his heart fills with frustration that he can’t simply race up the steps like he used to. He makes it about halfway up before he needs to stop for a breather. He leans against the wall and pants, heaving to catch his breath and to let his sore body relax for a little bit. Again, it takes him far longer to reach an evened state of breathing, but as soon as it happens, Terra is off again, ignoring how his limbs start to feel like lead the more he pushes himself to keep going.</p>
<p>The stairs seem endless like this, stretching higher and higher and higher as his body trembles and sweats in its weakness. Logically he knows that they end soon enough, only a few flights remain between himself and where Master Yen Sid usually sits and studies. Emotionally it feels like it never ends thanks to his pace. And he almost lets out a sob of relief when he reaches the top where he can hear Master Yen Sid’s low voice droning beyond the study door. He takes several deep breaths, trying to calm his heart enough in a very short amount of time. It doesn’t work, but Terra isn’t about to wait for it to calm down another time. He’s sick and tired of this weakness in his body, and at this point, he would much rather get things over with before his resolve fades.</p>
<p>It’s only out of habits he can barely consciously remember that he knocks firmly on the door leading into Master Yen Sid’s study. The sound of Master Yen Sid’s voice halts suddenly, and then it begins again, calling him into the study. The door is the easiest part of this whole ordeal, Terra thinks, as he pushes it open with his free hand and sloppily swings himself inside.</p>
<p>“Terra,” Master Yen Sid says, and in a tone that somehow sounds both devoid of surprise and full of surprise at the same time. “You did not need to traverse all of those flights of stairs. I was on my way to see you after I was finished here.”</p>
<p>It’s far too late that Terra notices the other two people in the room with Master Yen Sid. They’ve both turned to him. No doubt curious about the weak hearted man who caused all of this mess in the first place, a dark part of his heart whispers to him. They stare, both wide eyed and curious. The one on the left is a girl, certainly no older than Riku appears. Her hair reaches just past her chin and is a rich maroon in colour, but her eyes sparkle in a brilliant shade of blue that reminds Terra too much of Ventus’. She wears a pink dress hemmed with asymmetrical plaid and boots that certainly look like they could cause a lot of damage. She feels warm and welcoming and <em>light</em>, as if there wasn’t a drop of darkness to be found in her heart. The one on the right is a man, tall and lanky and at least a decade older than the girl. His hair is a spiky, vibrant red and his eyes glitter a striking emerald green. His outfit causes a bolt of momentary panic to shoot through him. A black cloak, much like Xigbar’s, though the man is certainly nothing like Xigbar. He looks very human. Both of them seem so familiar to Terra, but he’s absolutely certain he has never seen either of them before in his life. He thinks he would remember a man with hair that puts a sunset to shame and a girl with a light that burned brighter than most. Something about them feels warm and familiar and <em>safe</em>, but Terra can’t put his finger on it.</p>
<p>“I…”</p>
<p>Before he can think to get any more out, the girl has already interrupted him.</p>
<p>“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Terra! It’s great to see you up and about!”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you weren’t looking so hot last time we saw you.”</p>
<p>Dumbly, the only thing Terra can think to say is simply what the man said, mumbling a soft and confused “The last time you saw me…?” That’s enough for the girl to cover her mouth in surprise and squeak in something that sounds like embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Oh, of course! The last time we saw you was when you were still asleep in Radiant Garden.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, Merlin said we could get some experience in guarding your bed while you slept,” the man says. He then mumbles “Though I don’t see what we learned in doing it.”</p>
<p>“We learned a thing called patience, Axel. Not everything is exciting, you know.”</p>
<p>“And this coming from the kid who couldn’t sit still?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, you’re a way bigger whiner than I am about it.”</p>
<p>“Only when I have to be.”</p>
<p>It’s almost simultaneously that the two of them stick their tongues out at one another, and the furrowed expressions only last a moment at best before the two of them start to crack up. Though the nagging familiarity settles in his gut, Terra is still incredibly lost as to why either of them had been standing watch at his bedside. He must not have been awake when they were guarding him, and neither seem inclined to tell him about it. Thankfully, Master Yen Sid takes pity on him.</p>
<p>“You were in a critical state when Mickey and Riku found you, and it was uncertain whether or not Xehanort would take an interest in recapturing you in such a state. We felt it would be safer to keep an eye on you as you recovered, rather than take a risk that Xehanort would disregard you.” If the man’s voice could get any more serious than it’s usual stoic rumble, Terra certainly thought it did when his voice softened and tone pitched down a step. “Fortunate that we thought to do so, as you yourself are aware of the Organization’s attempt to capture you after you woke.”</p>
<p>A wasted effort to protect him, he thinks, considering how much damage his naivety and thoughtlessness caused everyone, both those he knew and those he didn’t. The dark part of his heart whispers things to him, tells him that they should have turned a blind eye to him, that they should have left him to die somewhere, that they would be better off without him around to ruin things again.</p>
<p>He isn’t fit to wield a Keyblade.</p>
<p>He isn’t fit to be a Guardian of Light.</p>
<p>They’re simply better off without him.</p>
<p>Terra doesn’t realize that Master Yen Sid had started talking again until the retired Keybearer says his name. He nearly jumps out of his skin and focuses on Master Yen Sid. His face is just as neutral and serious as always, but something in his eyes seems to reflect an emotion that Terra can’t quite put his finger on. It’s not a bad emotion, per se, but it’s an unidentifiable one, and it makes his stomach squirm uncomfortably.</p>
<p>“I am afraid that I have some business to attend to regarding Kairi and Lea’s training. Perhaps we may speak in private in your chambers after I have spoken with Merlin. Kairi,” and the girl jumps back to attention. “Lea,” and the man tilts his head to the side. “You are both making great strides. I will speak with Merlin about furthering your curriculum. You are dismissed.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Master Yen Sid!”</p>
<p>“Whatever you say.”</p>
<p>A wave of annoyance briefly washes through Terra at the thought of having to walk down those stairs and wait longer for Master Yen Sid to arrive just so he could speak to him, but he barely has any time to think on it. Master Yen Sid is quick to stand and pace out of the study, off to where Terra can only assume Merlin is waiting for him. The girl and the man- Kairi and Lea, Master Yen Sid had said- were soon crowded around him.</p>
<p>“So you’re one of the Keybearers Master Yen Sid’s been telling us about! It must be really exciting to be walking again after all that time asleep.”</p>
<p>Again, Terra doesn’t have much of a chance to respond. The man- Lea- plants an arm on Kairi’s head and leans against her, as if she’s an armrest. Kairi doesn’t seem to mind all that much outside of a sharp jab at Lea’s ribs. Lea doesn’t even bat an eye about it.</p>
<p>“I’ll say. From what the wizard’s been telling us, it sounds like you had more than just a long nap to contend with. Xehanort’s really good at bringing out the worst in us.”</p>
<p>“I’d rather not talk about it.”</p>
<p>Terra’s words are fast and clipped and come out before he can even think about them. He’s quick to cast his eyes elsewhere in the room, focusing instead on a worn leather bound book sitting on one of the shelves in the study. Kairi doesn’t miss a beat, and apparently doesn’t miss nailing the ribs the second time around if the way Lea yelps is any indication.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”</p>
<p>“Y-Yeah,” Lea winces, and Terra just manages to suppress a wince himself. His voice sounds a little pained. “You don’t have to talk. We all have baggage we’d rather not look at.”</p>
<p>When Terra looks back up at Kairi and Lea, Kairi is wearing a smile that is warm and welcoming and just a little bit shy. Lea looks only partially apologetic, and the other half of him seems impressed by Kairi. Maybe by the ferocity of her strike? Terra can’t say for certain. All he knows is that they seem so very familiar.</p>
<p>“How about we do something fun?”</p>
<p>“Fun?” Terra echoes. Kairi nods, and a grin that seems a little vicious and a lot of trouble spreads on Lea’s face.</p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s leave the codgers to their talking. I for one could use a break from the lectures.”</p>
<p>It seems like Terra’s been forgotten entirely when Kairi turns to Lea, a pondering look on her face and hand holding her chin in thought. Lea simply puts his hands on his own hips and stares down at her, leaving Terra to watch in silence.</p>
<p>“What should we do though? I don’t want to do anything really hard after all those exercises.”</p>
<p>Lea hums a soft, thoughtful noise, and Terra seriously considers leaving them by themselves in the study so he can get started on the annoying walk down the stairs. The near comical “A-ha!” Lea makes is enough to keep him where he stands, and he feels like he might shrink in his skin when Lea turns his eyes onto him.</p>
<p>“How about we play hookey and get some ice cream? Just the three of us.”</p>
<p>“The… Three of us?”</p>
<p>Kairi looks at him and nods, a smile on her face that’s so bright that it seems to glow.</p>
<p>“You’re coming with us, right? It’ll be fun!”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you have to join us now. It’s no fun if it’s not a trio.”</p>
<p>Dumbfounded, Terra hesitates. His fingers twitch against the handle of his crutch, his right leg throbs only once, and his eyes flicker between the two of them.</p>
<p>And then, slow and hesitant, Terra nods.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey fun fact. as of the day i posted this, this chapter is exactly at 4444 words. neato burrito, huh?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. A Reminder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Salty sweet ice cream coats his tongue while he thinks. He thinks about his past, and his present, and his future. He thinks about what he's going to say to Master Yen Sid when they return. He thinks about what he's going to do with himself after he's cleared as fully healed. He thinks about what he's done and how it will affect him now.</p>
<p>But as he sits here with them, and talks with them and gets to know them a little bit better, he thinks about what his future is really going to hold for him. They give him a lot to think about, and this time Terra isn't going to waste his chance to truly think.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i got sick of looking at this one too but hey man, its a good one i think. going for that soft shit with terra and kairi and lea, and really i hope that in melody of memory that theyre all given a chance to relax and enjoy themselves. i also started pokemon black for the first time. n is weird. thats all i have to say about that. i hope yall enjoy it, as unbetaed and mostly unedited as it is lmao</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra to Earth, come in, this is terra to Earth. You still in there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra snaps back to reality, blinking as a black gloved hand retreats from where it had been waving lazily in front of his face. Axel- he had introduced himself properly as Axel, not Lea- grins at him when he looks over at him, completely ignoring the way Kairi tries to playfully shove him out of her space.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Axel, that’s a terrible joke.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, but it worked, didn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What worked?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel taps a finger to his forehead knowingly, his grin growing just an inch wider.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were a million miles away. Must have been something good for you to forget about your ice cream.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Axel mentions it, Terra looks down at his hand. It’s a simple ice cream bar, a neon blue frozen treat mounted on a flat popsicle stick. Though now that he’s paying attention to it, he realizes that it’s begun to melt. Sticky sweet liquid drips down the popsicle stick and onto his hand. It feels like a knee jerk reaction, leaning forwards to lick up the mess that’s slowly trickling down and onto his hand. Kairi giggles, and Axel snorts, but despite the lingering dark thoughts in his mind, it doesn’t feel like they’re laughing at him. It feels more like they’re laughing with him, laughing about how he’d been so consumed in what he was thinking of that he hadn’t noticed it until too late. The kind of laughter borne from a place of experience and understanding. Terra is quick to lick his hand and popsicle stick clean, while Axel gets down to chomping through his own ice cream. How he does it, Terra doesn’t know, but someone who simply bites into frozen ice cream is definitely not someone to trifle with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So,” Kairi starts. “What were you thinking about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All at once a million thoughts zip through his head, most of them self-deprecating, the others lost and confused. He settles on one that’s impersonal, but he can see it in their eyes that he took a few moments too long to come up with a thought to talk about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was just thinking about the railway car. I thought it was a dream, travelling through the stars on nothing but a train car.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To his surprise, Kairi doesn’t try to prod him about his pause. Instead she smiles and nods at him, her legs starting to swing in front of her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s exciting, isn’t it? Sora told me about the Magic Train from Master Yen Sid’s tower to Twilight Town before, but I’ve never been on it before today!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel nods along with Kairi’s words, and Terra can only offer a partial nod himself. He’s never ridden on a train car through space before, that much he can say, but travelling between worlds was never a truly big deal to him before. He used to travel between them with ease thanks to his Keyblade Glider and his Keyblade Armor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was my first time, too. Merlin usually just pops us in and out of places whenever he has to take us somewhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now that garners a proper reaction out of Terra. He takes only a brief moment to lick at his ice cream before he speaks again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean he only uses magic? He doesn’t have a Glider?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra’s never heard of someone being so powerful with magic that they could just teleport between other worlds before. Sure, he knew Aqua had been capable of a few teleportation and teleportation adjacent spells, but that was strictly on-world magic, and she’d never accomplished going more than a few yards with that kind of magic. To be powerful enough to use such a costly spell to travel such great and dangerous distances from one world or another. The thought of it alone is mind boggling. Both Axel and Kairi, however, scrunch up their noses in varying degrees of confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah? What else would he use? He doesn’t exactly have a Gummi Ship at his beck and call, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not with Sora hoarding all of the known universe’s Gummi Blocks, he doesn’t.” Kairi pauses to think for a moment, a hand coming up to her chin in thought. The action is incredibly familiar to Terra, but he can’t seem to put his finger on where he knows it from. “Do you think Sora would give us enough blocks to build a ship of our own if we asked him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel just shrugs and crunches through another inch of his ice cream while Kairi takes a quick lick of her own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll definitely need some kind of ship if we’re going to see more worlds after we’re finished training. I want to see them all, and this time I want to see them on my own terms.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Axel mutters a soft apology and Kairi lightheartedly scolds him for it, Terra sits and tries to puzzle out what exactly the two of them mean. Gummi Ships? Gummi Blocks? Terra isn’t really sure what those are, but from what he can puzzle out on his own, it sounds like some kind of travelling device? Master Eraqus had never taught him about any of these Gummi items before, and none of the reading materials in the library had anything about them. Then again, Terra had spent as little time as possible in the library when he was learning. He’d always focused more on the physical aspects of battle and Keyblade knowledge more than he had on the theoretical or the emotional aspects. Was it maybe the new name for Gliders? Terra shook his head in confusion. Gliders aren’t made out of Gummi Blocks or whatever it is. They’re made from one’s soul and will and Keyblade, an extension of one’s self in an aspect meant for safe travel, not only between worlds but on the world itself. And there certainly wasn’t anybody who could break apart the essence of a Glider and keep it to themselves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is something wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Terra looks up at them again, he realizes that they’ve stopped talking and have turned their attention to him. There’s concern written on both of their faces, their brows furrowed and the corners of their mouth turned down in the beginnings of a frown. Terra has to lick any new drops of melted ice cream off of his popsicle stick again before he can respond without fear of an overly sticky hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You two are Keybearers, aren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they nod, Terra’s mouth turns into a frown not unlike theirs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you two have Gliders for interplanetary travel?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The confused look Kairi and Axel give each other is more than enough of an answer, but Terra can hardly believe it when they turn back to him looking lost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s a Glider?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think hand gliders are capable of going off world.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Terra feels like he’s been slapped in the face. They don’t know what a Glider is. They’re Keybearers-in-training and they haven’t been taught how to summon their Gliders? For a few heartbeats, it’s all Terra can do to stare dumbly at them. Axel raises an eyebrow expectantly, while Kairi tilts her head at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra casts a quick glance around. The small sandlot they’ve chosen to sit near is empty, save for a few stray winds kicking up a little bit of sand. There’s shouts and laughter from somewhere down the streets, but the voices are far away, and none of the buildings surrounding the sandlot have windows facing the sandlot. For the most part, they’re shielded from prying eyes and alone. It’s only once he’s sure no one is going to see that Terra raises his empty hand and summons his Keyblade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ends of the Earth comes just as quickly as it used to, fitting comfortably in his palm, if a little heavy. He’s still considerably weaker from his time spent asleep. Axel seems to jump, as if he has some lingering fear of Keyblades, while Kairi breathes an excited sounding “Wow.” Terra casts another cautious glance around. No one is watching. He crams his ice cream between his teeth and grips the hilt of Ends of the Earth in both hands. And then he throws it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He throws it straight up into the air, and both Kairi and Axel yelp in surprise. It doesn’t take long for Ends of the Earth to come back down, and when it does, it returns to Terra in the shape of his Glider, hovering close to the bench that they’ve sat on. When Terra looks away from Ends of the Earth and back to Kairi and Axel, both of their eyes are wide in a mixture of awe and disbelief. Kairi is the first to regain her balance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s so cool! How did you do that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra opens his mouth to respond, but closes it soon after when he realizes that he has no idea what the basic principles of turning you Keyblade into a Glider entails. He fumbles for a moment, returning his ice cream to his hand, before he finally comes up with something to say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Years of practice. It’s mostly instinct now. I don’t really know how to describe it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel seems a little bummed out about the explanation, but it certainly doesn’t slow Kairi down. She stands up and paces around Terra’s Glider, her eyes still blown wide and her mouth hanging open like a gaping fish. When she finally looks up at Terra, he tries his best not to snort at the sight of her blue stained tongue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does it do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can ride it between worlds. It’s how all the Keyblade Masters travel between one world and the next. It’s good for flying on worlds, too, and I’ve used it for racing before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do they all look like that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally Axel speaks, and when Terra looks at him, he fails at keeping his snort in check. Axel’s tongue is a far brighter blue than Kairi’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, everyone’s Glider is different. Every Keybearer has one that’s specific to them. It’s an extension of yourself, just like your Keyblade.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think I could do that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nods, and Kairi seems to brighten up so much that she could put the sun’s light to shame. Axel, while far more subdued, seems to be thrilled by the thought as well. Kairi practically bounces up to him and parks herself right in front of him, her eyes shining and her grin stained only a little blue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Could you show us how?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” And it’s here that Terra falters. As if reminding him of everything he’s done wrong in his life, his mind brings forth every image of Master Eraqus scolding him, of Aqua angry with him, of Ventus on the verge of tears. Everything that’s gone wrong, everything that’s been his fault, it all flashes before his eyes. And when he finally looks up at Kairi again, he sees in her eyes the same look Ventus used to give him, back before Master Eraqus taught him how to summon his Glider, back before when Ventus used to beg him to summon his own so they could fly around the Land of Departure together on their time off. Something warm within him rushes forwards, and before he can think any harder on it, he nods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can try.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi leaps back a step and squeals, and Axel jumps up from his seat to shout and pump his fist in excitement. For a brief second, that flash of familiarity rises in Terra’s chest again. The feeling is gone way too quickly for him to identify the cause, but the warmth of it doesn’t fade. They look so excited, look so ready and eager to learn. Even Terra said no, it probably wouldn’t have been long before he caved to them and said yes instead. There was just something about them that reminded him warmth and safety and <em>home</em>, something he just couldn’t say no to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra chomps down on the rest of his ice cream and toughs out the pain of sensitivity in his teeth and gums before he leverages himself to his feet. Axel does the same, and Kairi is quick to follow, though her teeth seem far more sensitive than his own. Axel doesn’t even flinch, and Terra reminds himself not to trifle with the man if he can suck down a whole block of sweetened ice like it’s nothing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He calls Ends of the Earth back to his hand, and it obliges, turning from Glider back into Keyblade. Terra doesn’t have to tell the other two to summon their own. They each hold out a hand and a Keyblade comes to them. Kairi has a far easier time doing it, a golden and flowery looking Keyblade appearing in her palm like she was always meant to hold a Keyblade. Axel’s gives him a little bit of trouble, if the strain in his brows is any indication. Eventually, a Keyblade that looks like it’s made of metal and fire appears in his palm, and the excited look he gives Kairi is somehow enough to make his heart feel a little bit warmer. Kairi looks proud of him, and though having only known the two of them for this day, Terra feels a little proud of him, too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra desperately tries to recall Master Eraqus’ words. It had been a long time since he was properly taught how to summon his Glider. He had been taught how to do it a year before Aqua came to live with them in the Land of Departure, and she was taught how to do it a mere six months of living with them. He must have been close to eleven back then, and Aqua couldn’t have been more than nine or ten. The faint memories of his lessons come back to him, but it certainly isn’t quite enough. He’ll just have to wing it then. Maybe if he pretended he was channelling the spirits of Master Eraqus and Aqua, the lessons might come back to him. For now, Kairi and Axel wait for him, and Terra tries not to keep them waiting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You both know the names of your Keyblades, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost immediately Terra wants to slap himself in the face. Of course they would know their Keyblade’s names. The Keyblade is an extension of one’s self, and the moment an apprentice holds the handle of their Keyblade, the weapon’s name whispers itself into the wielder’s soul. Of course they should know it. Kairi offers him a big nod and an overly excited smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Her name is Destiny’s Embrace!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the very least Kairi doesn’t seem to know it’s a stupid question to ask, and the enthusiasm is good, he thinks. He was thrilled when he first held Earthshaker as a child, too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t really picked a name out for it yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once more, Terra almost immediately wants to slap himself in the face. Both he and Kairi turn their attention to Axel, who is very casually spinning his Keyblade by the guard and hilt of the weapon. Terra can’t help but raise an eyebrow at him, and Kairi rolls her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you, Axel, they already have names.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If it does have a name, then why isn’t it telling me its name?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t physically tell you. You’re just supposed to know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t know what my Keyblade’s name is. Besides, not every Keyblade is the same, right? Maybe mine doesn’t have a name.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not right,” Terra interrupts. Very carefully, he rests the blade of his weapon in his free hand, careful of any of the cutting edges. “Every Keyblade already has a name. My master’s was Master’s Defender, Aqua’s was Stormfall, and Ventus’ was Wayward Wind.” Terra raises Ends of the Earth a little higher in front of him, presenting it to both Kairi and Axel. “Mine is named Ends of the Earth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And Sora’s is called the Kingdom Key!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And how do you know that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi completely ignores the mock snark in Axel’s tone. She plants her hands on her hips, Destiny’s Embrace still held in one hand. “Because he told me so. Just like Riku told me that his is called Way to the Dawn, and Mickey’s is called Star Cluster.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel sticks his tongue out in retaliation, and Kairi quickly follows suit. Whatever sort of arguing that had been brewing quickly dissolved into giggles, though Terra couldn’t really join in on it. Removing his palm from the blade of his weapon, Terra scratches at his chin. Not knowing the name of one’s Keyblade makes everything a little more difficult. It’s obvious now why Axel seemed to struggle with summoning his Keyblade, as it’s difficult to call someone when you don’t know their names. Though it’s difficult to remember the brief lecture Master Eraqus gave him, Terra recalls him saying that a Keybearer who did not know the name of their Keyblade would struggle in many different areas of mastering it. Neither he, Aqua, nor Ventus had struggled with learning their Keyblade’s names. As far as he could remember, the three of them knew the moment they held their Keyblades. But how?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’re you thinking about, chief?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra looks up at Axel, and Axel stares back at him questioningly. Kairi is also watching him, holding onto the hilt of her Keyblade with both hands. He blinks, and they blink back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I was just trying to remember how I learned my Keyblade’s name. It’s harder to use your Keyblade if you don’t know its name.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At this, Kairi perks up a little bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Sora had a hard time learning his Keyblade’s name, too!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel rolls his eyes and mutters a very soft “It sure doesn’t seem like it” before Kairi continues.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He used to talk about it sometimes when I asked him about all of his adventures. He said he didn’t really know it until he dreamed about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To that, Axel snorts and crosses his arms, careful about where the blade of his weapon went.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is dreaming up a name any different than just picking one when you’re awake?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I dreamt mine too! It was all dark, and there was stained glass everywhere, and this person I couldn’t see asked me a lot of questions. They were really hard to answer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Axel mutters about having already passed high school math courses, Terra scratches at his chin again. The lingering wisps of his dreams from a week ago filter their way into his head. Void in the horizon and below, light shining through glass beneath him, the unheard voice... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that what Sora described to you as well?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi looks up at him and nods, a certain kind of determination in her eyes that felt so familiar he could almost name it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Sora said he was running in the dark and fighting with a wooden sword a lot, and there was glass and light everywhere. Oh, and that some of his friends from the island asked him a lot of strange questions.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Images of faceless men and women Terra couldn’t remember then and couldn’t really remember now rise to the surface of his mind. They had asked him things as a child. What he cared most about, what he feared the most, what he wanted the most out of life. He barely remembers pulling a rusty sword from a pedestal, and watching a chipped and cracked staff fade back into the darkness. The memories of Aqua and Ventus mentioning their strange dreams, just before they summoned their Keyblades for the first time follow soon behind it. It’s a long shot, but Terra feels it couldn’t hurt to ask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you ever had a dream like that, Axel?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like what?” He suddenly looks off, almost like he’s embarrassed about something. About what, Terra wasn’t sure. “Stumbling around in a dark closet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Exploring a darkness with glass and light beneath your feet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel’s shoulders seem to scrunch up, and his brows furrow. His non-answer is more than enough information for Terra.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s going to be hard to call a Glider if you don’t know your Keyblade’s name.” Terra warns. Axel just shrugs and looks back. Though his brows and the way his eyes squint say he’s angry, there’s a fire in Axel’s eyes that screams determined.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I already came this far by jamming a square block into a circle hole. I won’t let it stop me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And somehow, that sounds like the right answer. It makes Terra’s chest feel warm again. He gives Axel and nod, and Axel nods back at him. Terra relaxes his stance, and both Kairi and Axel relax their stances to match his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, Terra tries to collect his thoughts, tries to get back on track about how to teach a Glider transformation to the two of them. Kairi speaks before he can.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So… You threw your Keyblade up into the sky. Is that important?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra blinks, and then he nods, and then he raises his free hand to wiggle it in a ‘so-so’ motion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s important if you’re in a small space, with little room for your Keyblade to move. You can throw it sideways, but there’s always a chance you’ll hit somebody or something if you do it like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So we just throw them into the air and it’ll come back down a Glider?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra shakes his head, and Axel frowns in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s more than just throwing it. Your Keyblade is an extension of yourself, a part of who you are. Just throwing it up into the air won’t do anything. It’s like…” Terra struggles for a moment, trying to find the right words to describe it to them. “It’s sort of like reaching out to yourself? Something like reaching out to yourself and feeling like you need to fly, almost.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So it’s a matter of telling our Keyblades what we want it to do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Terra gives Kairi a ‘so-so’ hand motion and a nod.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to verbally tell your Keyblade to turn into a Glider. It’s supposed to be more like an instinct. Like you have to go somewhere for something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel and Kairi give each other a confused look, and Terra looks down at his Keyblade. He tries to remember what it was like when he first called upon his Glider, tries to remember how he was feeling. He can remember watching Eraqus change his Keyblade into a Glider hundreds of times, of trying to throw his Keyblade into the air and scrambling out of the way as it came back down to the ground unchanged. He remembers all of the frustration, all of the anger of trying and trying and trying and still not making it work. He remembers when he had finally gotten it to work, when Earthshaker had finally returned to the earth as a Glider. He’d felt relief, and excitement, and unshakable joy. He remembers looking up and watching Eraqus ascend higher and higher on his own Glider, getting closer and closer to the atmosphere, leaving Terra all on his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The feeling of connection when Terra finally hopped onto his Glider and soared after him, chasing him higher and higher and higher until he finally caught up to him, until he finally got to see Master Eraqus’ proud smile and feeling his hand ruffling his hair and the feeling of hearing how proud Master Eraqus was of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The feeling of love and friendship and being connected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you ever wanted to protect something that was out of your reach? Or have you ever wanted to be at someone’s side, even though they were worlds away from you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That seems to strike a chord in the both of them. Both Axel and Kairi stiffen, their eyes widening in some mix of confusion, shock, and surprise. They both glance at each other, and when they look back at him, they nod.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s that feeling. That feeling of needing to be close to them, of being able to fight with them and protect them. Of returning to your friends and family. That’s what I feel when I summon my Glider.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To prove a point, Terra throws Ends of the Earth into the sky once more and focuses on the feelings he felt when he was with Aqua, Ventus, and Master Eraqus. The camaraderie, the friendship, the love, the intense desire to fight at their sides when things were looking bleak. Ends of the Earth returns to him as a Glider, hovering right in front of him, and he carefully maneuvers his injured leg over the saddle. He gives the handles a quick twist and he zips around the sandlot around them, kicking up sand in his wake as he flies around Kairi and Axel in one quick circle. When he stops in front of them, the fire in their eyes has grown.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Think about them. Your friends and your family. Think about going to them, helping them wherever they’re going or with whatever they’re doing. Think about going to them and protecting them. And will your Keyblade to take you there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi is quick to nod and scamper away a few steps, while Axel moves off in a different direction to space himself out from them. Terra remains seated on his Glider, his breath feeling a little bit breezy as he watches the two of them try to concentrate on their Keyblades.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi throws hers into the air first, and she dodges out of the way at the last second when it comes back down to land teeth-first into the sand. Axel tries after her, his eyes squeezed shut and his face strained in concentration. He opens his eyes to watch as it soars in an arc over his head, and he lunges to grab at the hilt when it falls to the ground still as a Keyblade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi tries again, and Axel follows suit. They return to the earth as Keyblades once more, and this time they appear more disappointed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Think about the ones you cherish and love. Think about them in danger. Think about being there for them when they need you the most.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi spends a moment widening her stance and grabbing at the hilt of her Keyblade until it feels just right. Axel throws his into the sky again, and hisses as it comes down and nearly impales his hand when he tries to grab at it’s hilt. Kairi throws hers after, and expertly dodges out of the way when it clatters back into the sand. They keep trying, and Terra keeps trying to motivate them. He’s never been good at playing teacher, not even with Aqua and Ventus. He was never articulated enough to get the point he wanted to make across with his words, always falling flat or stumbling in an explanation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But when Axel throws his Keyblade into the air for a thirteenth try, it comes back down as a shimmering, fiery Glider, a different kind of fire bursts in his heart. Kairi shouts and hollers in tune with Axel as he dances around his strange, double-fanned hand glider. He feels terribly proud of Axel, and though she still hasn’t summoned her own, he feels terribly proud of Kairi, too. Terra watches as Axel tries to figure out how to ride his new Glider while Kairi tries to give him ideas. Axel grabs onto the steel rungs before the fiery fore-fan, and winces and dances back when the heat of it no doubt singes him. Kairi rushes over to look him over, all the while laughing. Axel is quick to join in as he shakes his sore hand, and together they return to the new Glider, trying to puzzle out how Axel is supposed to sit on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it’s as they work together, laughing and smiling and celebrating Axel’s success that Terra finally names what that familiar feeling is. Watching them talk and shout and work together reminds him of Aqua and Ventus. The feeling of familiarity suddenly has a name, and Terra can place the names of the lights he feels inside the others. Aqua must have bequeathed her Keyblade to Kairi. She carries the same, warm and strong light inside her that Aqua does. And Ventus must have connected with Axel once. He screams excitable kid energy underneath his humor and outer shell. They remind him of when Aqua and Ventus were learning how to use their Gliders. They remind him of all the times he had snuck off with them for late night training and races. They remind him of the easy nights, where they would sit out on the cliffs of the Land of Departure and watch the stars in the sky until they each fell asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They reminded him of home, reminded him of his family, reminded him why he had journeyed so hard under Master Eraqus’ tutelage in the first place. Aqua and Ventus briefly appear in his mind. Aqua in the Realm of Darkness, lost and fighting and determined. Ventus hidden away, asleep and unharmed and alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And they remind him of why he can’t simply give up now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>did i mention im writing this for nanowrimo???? its slow going but im living for the kingdom hearts stuff again. its giving me massive amounts of serotonin lmao. i usually write at work when theres nothing to do but thats been getting rarer at work, and nano actually forces me to try and write every day. i can almost guarantee that on november 13th ill be gone though lmao. im a sucker for a good kingdom hearts game and for a good rhythm game and squeenix is about to FEED me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. A Warming Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's so warm here. He's sick, and dizzy, and feels like he might throw up over the edge of the cliff before him at any given moment. But he feels so warm, so at ease. Time flows strange here, and nothing seems to be right. But it's warm, and quiet, and familiar. It reminds him of easier times spent with his friends, times when the biggest responsibility he had was simply making it to his morning training on time. Back when Aqua and Ventus were still at his side. He won't let them stay lost for long, but for now he rests, his sickness slowly ebbing in the warmth of a setting sun's light.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i struggled so hard with this and i wrote maybe like 200 words for it a day, and im sick of looking at this one too lmao. works been busy enough to prevent me from writing this on the job, so ill probably be inching along for a while. according to my nano stats, im 9k behind schedule lmao. so i guess ill try and catch up today and tomorrow, assuming monkey brain doesnt kill me for not playing melody of memory tomorrow lmao. i hope y'all enjoy this filler mess</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It had been worth it. All of the scolding, the sitting around and being prodded, the disorienting journey. It had been worth it to be here right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time Kairi had managed to summon her own Glider- a sleek golden Glider reminiscent of scooters and segways people used to ride on Radiant Garden, Master Yen Sid had rather suddenly appeared. His voice had been full of disappointment and annoyance and an ounce of relief. It reminded Terra strongly of when Master Eraqus used to scold him and Aqua for running off and getting into some kind of mischief. Though being reprimanded is never a thrilling experience, the reminder of Master Eraqus made his heart swell with a strange mixture of nostalgia, sadness, and happiness. Terra had nothing to say for himself, and neither Kairi or Axel seemed to have anything to say either. Master Yen Sid was right to scold them for it. Practicing Keyblade maneuvers and secrets out in the open on a world where people were not supposed to know of other worlds was a big no-no, and something Master Eraqus had driven into his skull for the longest time as a child. They received a secondary scolding on the way back to the Magic Train and through the cosmos back to the Mysterious Tower about Terra’s health. All three of them had stayed silent, heads lowered and avoiding Master Yen Sid’s gaze like a pack of guilty children. From the corner of his eye, Terra could see the way Kairi looked so incredibly ashamed of herself, and he could see the way guilt writ itself all over Axel’s face. It stuck him again just how much the two of them reminded him of Aqua and Ventus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their return into the highest tower was a difficult one for Terra, but Axel and Kairi helped him all the way up the stairs to Master Yen Sid’s study, their arms under his and acting as braces to keep him upright the whole trip up. He was still breathless when they had finally reached the top but at least he wasn’t quite as exhausted or sweaty as he had been the first time up. Master Yen Sid had already seated himself, and another wizard was in the study next to him, looking just as disappointed as Master Yen Sid. Merlin, no doubt. He had a scolding of his own especially for Axel and Kairi that he gave them off to the side, and Master Yen Sid beckoned Terra forwards to stand directly before his desk. All at once the dark, swirling thoughts he’d been having before he left with Axel and Kairi swam to the forefront of his mind, but a quick glance towards Kairi and Axel standing off to the side, looking sheepish as an old gangly man in a robe scolded them hardened his resolve. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to train with them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words had slipped right out of his mouth before Master Yen Sid could no doubt scold him yet again for risking his health and his safety beyond the reaches of the Mysterious Tower. Terra had to simply grit his jaw and look at him with conviction while Master Yen Sid stroked his beard and stared at him in thought. Terra had held his ground while Master Yen Sid had looked him up and down. They had stared each other down until Merlin had finally finished his personal tirade to Axel and Kairi, and only once everything around them had quieted down had Master Yen Sid sighed and sunk into his seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“While it is noble of you to be eager to return to your studies and your training, you must not push yourself too hard, Terra. It has been a decade since you were last in control of yourself, and you have lost considerable strength during your time spent on Radiant Garden.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know that, but I can’t sit around while everyone else is working themselves to the bone. I’ve made mistakes, some I can’t atone for, but I want to try.” When Master Yen Sid hadn’t spoken up, Terra continued. “Those are my friends out there, lost and in danger and alone. I want to help save them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Master Yen Sid had stared him down, and again Terra held his ground, puffing out his chest and raising his chin as best he could while leaning on a crutch. It had taken some time of waiting, of letting Master Yen Sid judge and measure his mettle, but Terra couldn’t have stopped the rising thrill in his chest when the old wizard had sighed and turned to Merlin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do not wish to put more on your shoulders than the burden you already carry, old friend, but if you have the time and patience to do so, I would entrust the remainder of Terra’s recovery and training to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I suppose three is not much harder than two. I’ve had a bad habit of training youngsters in threes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The excitement Terra had felt bubbling in his chest then was definitely mirrored on Axel and Kairi’s faces. Their eyes had brightened, their backs straightened, and they’d looked between each other and back to Terra with a kind of thrill he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Master Yen Sid had dismissed them back to Terra’s room to wait while he and Merlin spoke to one another about the finer details, and Terra had been all too thrilled to be helped back down the stairs by Kairi and Axel. Kairi had nearly chattered his ear off the whole way down in her excitement. Axel wasn’t much better. It certainly didn’t take Master Yen Sid and Merlin to return to them, and it didn’t take much longer for Terra to have his things packed up. Beyond an outfit from the Good Fairies reminiscent of his old clothes, there really wasn’t much for him to pack up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra braced himself to walk down all of the flights of stairs once more. Instead, Axel and Kairi grabbed hold of his hands, and the moment they had touched Merlin’s hands they had disappeared. Magic didn’t normally make Terra want to vomit, but then again, all of the magic Terra was capable of was destructive magic. Fire, Thunder, Blizzard, Quake, Gravity, Magnet, so on and so forth. He had never been good at healing spells, nor had he ever learned how to use teleportation spells. Even the one time Aqua had used teleportation magic on both him and Ventus, just so that they would know what it was like, it wasn’t as bad as this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra had no idea where they had landed, nor did he really care. If it weren’t for his crutch and the way Kairi and Axel helped him stay on his feet, Terra might have collapsed and passed out right then and there. Axel had definitely snickered at his misfortune, while Kairi offered him some reassuring words. She told him that the first few times she’d been caught up in teleportation magic she’d almost barfed and passed out herself. They both assured him that it would pass and that he’d get used to it, but at the time, Terra certainly hadn’t thought so. Terra had hardly been able to keep himself on his feet, and after who knows how long, he could barely keep himself from swaying when they forced him to sit. Eventually he could focus on the shape of the doctor that Terra knew he had seen before, though with his senses still frazzled, he didn’t enjoy the poking and prodding of the check-up. At the very least it didn’t seem to last too long, but time was taking way too long and not long enough at that point. Terra couldn’t be bothered then to know what was happening and how long it had been happening for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Kairi and Axel had helped him to his feet again, Terra had begun to feel a little bit better. That feeling lasted all of thirty seconds before they took his hands again, and they were gone from reality once more. The second jump from one world to another was definitely worse than the first. Terra was pretty sure he had blacked out, as he woke to the sounds of Kairi’s voice calling his name softly and an old, wrinkled hand patting at his cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, there you are!” Merlin had sounded far too amused for Terra’s liking. “Seems like someone’s not used to the magic of space-time slip and slides!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that time, all Terra could muster was a groggy and confused mumble, and he definitely hadn’t appreciated the snort and clipped giggle from Axel and Kairi. Merlin, however, had been merciful enough to grant them dismissal for the time being, and Terra let Kairi and Axel practically drag him to wherever they were planning to go with him. From there, it had taken him some time to start feeling better. To start feeling excited again. But it was worth it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sitting on the grass, his back leaning against the smooth bark of a long dead tree, with Kairi and Axel sitting on the trunk on either side of him… All of the scolding, the strange poking and prodding, and the disorienting journey was worth it just to be here. He isn’t sure where here is, exactly, but Kairi and Axel seem to know, and they haven’t done anything to make them untrustworthy to him. If Master Yen Sid trusts them, then Terra will too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Above him, Kairi and Axel chatter to one another. About what, Terra doesn’t know. He doesn’t pay it much mind. For a brief moment of time, Terra finds himself wrapped up in warmth, the sun’s setting light washing over him and filling his body and mind with peace and warmth. A gentle wind blows past them, but it’s neither too hot, nor too cold. Somewhere off in the distance Terra can hear crickets and birds, singing the end of the day away through the soft tones of leaves rustling in the wind. For a very brief moment, it reminds him of the cliff overlooking the forecourt of the castle in the Land of Departure. It reminds him of the evenings spent sunbathing in the sun’s setting light, Aqua telling Ventus not to look at what she’s making, and Ventus whining and pleading with her to let him see it anyways. Birds would sing on the summit around them, and crickets would chirp on the stones nearby, the wind would rush past them, ruffling their hair and tugging at the looser fabrics of their clothes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wrapped up in the warmth of his memories, Axel and Kairi’s voices soon start to melt and blend with the rest of the background noise. What’s left of Terra’s consciousness reminds him that he has a mountain of work to do, more than what an average person could feasibly handle in such a short amount of time. But the warmth of his memories drive the thoughts away. Just for now, Terra would rest, comforted by the knowledge that he would soon have people to help him walk the journey of saving Ventus and Aqua from wherever they may be.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>im not proud of this chapter but like... i feel like that i too would vom if i was yoinked across space and time twice to get to a special ancient training ground. oh well. off to write another 9k for me i guess lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Better With Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>No matter what dark thoughts cloud his mind, Terra can always count on those around him to brighten his mood. Though really, Terra would prefer it if the mood brightening didn't include the potential harm and death of a friend, even if it looked really really cool.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao two chapters in one day? its not a full 9k but im slowing crawling back into line with what nano thinks i should have. this chapter was infinitely more fun to write. i just really like the interactions between the three of them. theyre all like... wildly stupid enough to drag each other out of their slumps. i hope y'all like reading this chapter just as much as i liked writing it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Terra would like to believe that he is very well versed in the art of patience and keeping at a physical training regime. He’s always had better luck keeping up with the physical requirements of training over the magical, and he’s always prided himself on how strong he was when it came to a fight of brute force alone. He could best both Aqua and Ventus when it came down to spars that had the restrictions of no magic, no matter how fast and evasive they were. It was one of his strong points, dishing out hard and heavy blows that were hard to dodge. He’d never really struggled in that area, not even as a child. To be struggling now with simple water based exercises, however? Terra’s infinite patience for training did not seem to apply to this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two weeks have passed. Or at least that’s what Kairi and Axel have told him. Two weeks in the outside world have passed, yet their time in this strange, forested place, it feels as if months have gone by. Terra knows he’s getting better, he just knows from how much more steady his body is. But it’s still not fast enough. He can walk unassisted again, that much he’s thankful for, but that’s as far as it goes. Master Merlin- how he came to call him Master Merlin, he isn’t sure, but he’s certainly not going to fight it- says that he’s still not walking properly. And Terra knows this. He of all people knows that his leg is still ruined, that it’s still moving strangely. He walks everywhere with a limp, and he can’t run as fast as he used to. It doesn’t hurt, per se, but it’s frustrating nonetheless. He used to be so good at physical activity, used to be able to do it effortlessly, even. But now he’s a little bit awkward, a little bit clumsy, a little bit slow. And even in the water he’s a little bit slow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So many bunny hops. So many jumps. So much walking in circles, so much sand between his toes, so heavy and sore is his right leg. He’d known he was a little more dense than both Aqua and Ventus were, he knew that from the moment they all went swimming together in a lake somewhere in the valleys of the Land of Departure. He sank more easily than they did, and had a harder time floating. Master Merlin had told him he had denser bones than most people did, and that with the extra rods and screws in his thigh, he would be a tiny bit heavier. And Terra hated it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite Kairi and Axel’s constant encouragement, he always hated getting into the pond that Master Merlin had cleared for use. He hated stripping down to just his underwear, hated the chill of the water when it first touched his skin, hated the feeling of nearly sinking into the sandy bottom of the pond every time he shifted. The water wasn’t any higher than his collarbone, so he wasn’t afraid of drowning or anything. It was just something about being submerged that he hated. Being in the pond and exercising his body in it was made only slightly better when Kairi and Axel would join him, using fire magic to heat the pond up just enough so that it was comfortably warm. The moment he was finally finished with his ever lengthening physiotherapy sessions- made ever longer by a certain powerful wizard who was training them- Terra wasted absolutely no time in dragging himself out of the pond, sore and shaking and desperate to dry off. Axel and Kairi usually followed him with encouraging words, which Terra normally really appreciates.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Today is far different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something about today is making his skin crawl and his body twitch and he feels like he’s spiralling into a whirlpool of indescribable emotions. He continues his knee raises and his jump squats in the water, his body prickling as the water around him splashes and sloshes more than usual. Axel and Kairi are exercising with him. Whether it’s for the genuine strength training hydrotherapy provides or if it was out of some kind of pity, Terra doesn’t know. And truly, he really doesn’t care. Not today. Everything just rubs his fur the wrong way, from the sound of laughs and the directions of Master Merlin down to the every tiny ache in his body. Everything about today sucks, and Terra hates it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moment Master Merlin says that it’s enough for today, Terra is already clambering his way out of the pond.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excellent work today, Terra! You’ll be as spry as a spring chick in no time!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra practically snatches the offered towel out of Master Merlin’s hands and mumbles a moody thanks before he starts off. He feels like lead, his limbs sore and tired and water still dripping off of his body. He doesn’t hear what Kairi says when he picks up his clothes with the towel, and he pays them no mind when Merlin commands the attention of the two as he leaves. A white hot bolt of jealousy lances through him when he barely catches Master Merlin telling the two of them what advanced Keyblade techniques they’ll be practicing today. Terra does his best to stuff his jealousy back into the little box he keeps deep within his heart and locks it away, stomping as best as he can away from the three of them to find somewhere to sulk. His stomps are punctuated with a strange, dragging limp. Not incapacitating, but certainly a hindrance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He barely even notices where he’s going until he finally gets there, the log and the large stones and the cliff overlooking more of the forest. It’s the spot Kairi and Axel had taken him when they’d first arrived here. The warmth of the ever setting sun soothes some of the chill from the water, and the peace and quiet of this little clearing eases part of his angry heart. He still feels an undefinable amount of rage, yes, but not quite as much as he had before. He stomp-limps his way over to the stone, finally starting to dry himself off with the towel. Even with tired, aching muscles, the task is a rather quick one, and before he knows it he’s slipping back into his clothes. When all is said and done, Terra sits himself down on one of the larger stones and stretches his legs out in front of him. The stone is warm beneath him, and it quickly seeps into his sore hip. It feels incredibly good, and Terra can’t help the little groan of relief that escapes his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the birds sing and the crickets chirp, Terra starts to dig his fingers into his right thigh. Slowly he massages the muscles in the way Master Merlin had instructed him to, working the sore and tired muscles with strong presses of his fingers until his right leg and hip start to feel like mush. It helps to take the edge off of his spiralling emotions, helps to focus him and mellow him out a little bit more. The jealousy, locked away in that little box, still manages to seep into his heart, but it doesn’t hurt so much this time. He can’t hear Axel and Kairi from this distance. It simultaneously helps to soothe his emotional hurt and irritates him at the same time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s sick of these water exercises. He’s sick of the constant submerging, of the constant flopping around in water, of the constant weakness he still feels in his bones. It’s not enough to be splashing about in a pond like some kind of toddler. He wants to be doing what Axel and Kairi are doing. He wants to summon his Keyblade, to put his body to work, to feel the burn and the sweat and the ache of actually fighting and getting stronger and <em>getting better</em>. Except he can’t. Both Master Yen Sid and Master Merlin had forbidden him from pushing himself too far, and Master Merlin had forced him to promise him that Terra wouldn’t go and do something rash with his still recovering body. Terra has held up his promise, no matter how infuriating it was. It <em>is</em> important to rest the body, to take things slow as it recovers. And if what Master Yen Sid had regaled to him is true, then Terra definitely needed to take things slow. But every single day, in and out, he was stuck in that stupid pond, doing jumping jacks and squats and treading water and running as fast as he could around the deepest edges of the pond until he got too dizzy to continue. Even now Terra holds his promise, refusing to push his body past its limits, no matter how tempting it became. He still hates it here. How stupid of him it was to think he’d be doing the same kind of training that Kairi and Axel were doing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“May I join you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nearly jumps out of his skin, and when he turns to look back at Kairi, she graciously pretends to not see how grey his face has gotten or how he clutches at his heart. When Terra nods at her, her whole face seems to light up with her smile. She trots closer to him, and takes a seat next to him on the smooth, warm stone. She’s not quite tall enough for her feet to touch the ground, so she swings her legs a little bit. It’s a tick that Terra’s noticed her doing on nearly everything she sits on. She must be incredibly short.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you feeling okay today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra startles again, and he turns his head away from her to stare out at the forest before them. It still sings with life, the breeze absent today.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, Terra sighs. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feeling a little frustrated?” Kairi finishes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feeling a little frustrated.” Terra confirms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi hums an understanding note, and from the corner of his eye he can see her nod her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know the feeling. Always wanting to be at your friends’ sides. Always wanting to help them, no matter where they are. But always being unable to help them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra turns to look at her again, and this time she closes her eyes, hand on her chin as she hums in thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Every time Sora and Riku ran off to do something dangerous, I always wanted to go with them. And I always got left behind. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t fast enough to help them. Or maybe it’s because I’ve always been weaker than they are at swordplay. No matter how much I wanted to help them, I was always left waiting on the beach, staring out at the sea, wondering if they would come back okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi opens her eyes and turns to stare at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It must be hard, knowing what kind of danger your friends are in, and being unable to help them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra heaves a huge sigh as he looks back out at the trees below the cliff. A few memories flash in his head, all of them of Aqua and Ventus and Eraqus. And Terra sighs again, nodding slowly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah… I wish I could be there for them now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From there, they both fall silent, the sound of birds and crickets overtaking the silence in their wake. The sun warms his skin and clothes, eases the emotions swirling in his heart a little bit more, and slowly, Terra begins to feel drowsy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Terra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Could you give me some advice?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra looks back to her again, blinking lazily at her. “About what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you’ve flown your Glider way more than I’ve flown mine, and even though I’ve been practicing, I was wondering if you had any suggestions so I can improve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a brief moment, Terra just blinks at her again. It’s only when she tilts her head, clasps her hands together, and whines a soft “Please~!” that he finally registers what she’s said. He nods, and she jumps up from where she was sitting on the stone beside him, an excited giggle echoing out of her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just finished training, so don’t hold it against me if I’m a little stiff!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Terra blinks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t you just start your training for today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh oh, sounds like I’ve got another day dreamer on my hands~!” Kairi sings as she summons her Keyblade to her hands. “You must be a heavy thinker like Riku. Axel and I were whacking each other with our Keyblades for almost two and a half hours before I came to see you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra lets his jaw drop as he tries to puzzle out how he’d spend that long brooding while Kairi throws her Keyblade out in a wide arc in front of her. It comes back to her as the same golden Glider Terra had seen her summon in the sandlot, and Kairi easily hops onto it. Almost immediately she’s off, zipping out beyond the edges of the cliff and soaring up into the air. She’s definitely fast, Terra will give her that, and she pilots her Glider smoothly, like she had always been meant to fly it around. She performs for him a series aerial maneuvers for him, barrel rolls and aileron rolls, pinpoint stops and the sharpest turns Terra has ever seen a newbie Glider perform. She even pulls off an especially heartstopping move where she leaps off her Glider, changes it into a Keyblade to slice, dice, and toss, before she turns it back into a Glider and lands on it. It has Terra’s heart pounding wildly in his chest as he gets to his feet and staggers to the cliff edge to watch her plummet. She gains altitude back quickly and returns to him, sliding to a stop in a wide arc before stepping off of her Glider and onto the solid ground on the cliff.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She spreads her arms out wide, grins even wider, and sings a breathless “Ta da~!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he doesn’t immediately respond, she lowers her arms and rubs at the back of her neck a little shyly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, uh… How did I do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra flaps his mouth a bit, trying to find some kind of words for just how terrifying seeing the move at the end, but he fails miserably. It’s only when Kairi begins to look nervous that Terra finds his voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was incredibly dangerous. You shouldn’t be risking your neck like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost immediately Kairi deflates, and Terra scrambles to try and make his point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“N-No, I mean. Well, it <em>was</em> incredibly dangerous. It looked cool but you shouldn’t be doing that without someone to catch you or something. What happens if your concentration breaks and you just keep falling?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But- I just wanted to get better…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All at once Terra falters. For an incredibly brief instant, he can see himself in her. A young, over excited child, looking desperately to impress his father, only for him to scold him for trying something so dangerous without him there to help him if things went sour. He saw himself in her, and before she could look any more upset with herself, Terra wraps her in a tight hug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just... Just be careful, okay? You can’t help your friends if you’re dead.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi nods against him and hugs him back, squeezing him nice and tight. They stand like that for a while, before Terra feels the need to try and cheer her up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It <em>was</em> pretty cool, though. You’re a lot better than Ventus was when he first started.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That draws a laugh out of her. Kairi pulls away first, and Terra doesn’t stop her. She smiles up at him, no longer looking ashamed of herself, and instead a little more bashful that she would try dangerous spins and flips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So… Do you have any pointers for me? I want to be better than Sora and Riku at something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can’t help but smile down at her. All of his earlier rage and frustration and jealousy has seeped away, leaving nothing but the warmth of enjoying time with friends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe don’t try so many dangerous moves unless you’ve got someone watching your back. Someone you can trust to catch you if you fall.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I have you and Axel, don’t I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Those words alone cause Terra’s heart to squeeze in a pleasant way. Knowing that she trusts him means a lot to him, he finds, especially since he can barely find it in his heart to trust himself. But with her big grin and her wide, smiling eyes, Terra can’t help but believe her that he really is trustworthy, despite all of the terrible things he’s done.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he finally says. “You’ve got Axel and I to watch your back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That seems to be the right answer, as her smile just seems to keep on growing. She hugs him again, and Terra hugs her right back. This time she giggles in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what’s so funny to you about this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s just that you’re already getting so much stronger than you were when Axel and I first met you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It seems slow,” Kairi starts, still hugging him around his waist. “But you’re getting a lot better. You don’t need a crutch to walk anymore, and you can walk and run for longer periods of time. Even your hugs feel stronger.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra tries to catalogue what she’s said, trying to think of every time he’s been able to run out of water, every time he’s sat down and stood back up without help, every time he’s held her. And for a brief moment, he feels like he finally notices a change. His bones don’t poke into Kairi’s shoulders and back anymore. His ribs don’t stick out quite as much as they used to. His legs feel stronger, look meatier, seem healthier. He’s slowly getting better, he knows, but it’s definitely hard to see it when things continue to blur together in one big frustrating task. Hugging her now, Terra feels like he might be able to pick her up off the ground. Something surges in him, and he tries it. Kairi yelps and then laughs as he picks her up off of the ground and spins her around. And he can’t help but laugh, too. He’s swinging her around like he used to be able to do to Ventus and Aqua. She’s still heavier than he would like, but he can do it. And his heart starts to feel freer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See?” Kairi says when he finally places her back on the ground. “You’re already so much stronger than you were before. You’ll get there, Terra. You just need to keep at it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah… Yeah. I’ll do my best.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, you wander off without me and this is where I find you two lovebirds.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra and Kairi drop each other faster than one drops a burning hot pan. They turn to Axel, who’s leaning against a tree with his arms crossed, eyes slitted from how hard he’s grinning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra and Kairi, sitting in a tree-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare finish that song!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra feels like his entire body has heated up at least thirty degrees, and from the corner of his eye, he can see that Kairi is redder than a tomato. If it’s even possible with his already Cheshire grin, Axel smiles even wider.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“K-I-S-S-I-N-G~!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gross!” Both he and Kairi shout in unison, which only serves to make Axel chuckle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what are you two lovebirds up to?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Friends can hug too you know!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah? Then where’s my hug?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh I’ve got a hug right here for you, you great big dragon fruit!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra watches as Kairi suddenly takes off towards Axel. Axel starts running from her, and she gives chase. All the while, the both of them are shouting and laughing. And despite how hot and embarrassed he feels, Terra can’t help but laugh and join in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d never kiss her. Don’t you know that girls have cooties, Axel?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That immediately turns Kairi on him, and to escape her wrath, Terra makes a break for it, giving chase after Axel who’s already howling with laughter. His run is still awkward and limping, but he’s getting better. Day by day, little by little, he’s getting better, getting stronger. And if he doesn’t get faster and stronger by running away from Kairi and Axel in their mock games of offense, then he sure as hell doesn’t want to know what game will. Recovery is just better with friends, even if it's these two for friends.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>somehow ive wound up writing terra as if he has a thing for kairi. gonna put this to rest right now, kairi and terra are not getting together in this fic. not that ive been bothered by questions about this yet, but like, ive bothered myself with it. they're just becoming really huggy friends, and axel just like making fun of them sometimes. i mean really, theres like nothing to do in that forest anyways but train and talk to people so like. gotta pull your laughs outta somewhere. terras definitely getting better and im just being fuckin anxious about it lmao. i hope y'all like that double chapter update and i hope this one makes up for the last one. last one was kinda short</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Two Wrongs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A nightmare wasn't supposed to lead him here. He wasn't supposed to talk about it. Talking about it brings it to life, and bringing it to life means that he'll have to relive it all. Terra doesn't want to relive it all. He doesn't want to see the moment his father dies again. But the look he gives him, the sheer amount of neutrality he offers him... Maybe speaking about these things won't be as terrible as Terra thinks they are.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao can you believe it? i didn't play melody of memory all day, even though i so desperately wanted to. its a good fucking game, and im having such a good time getting all the full chains. ten year old me was right though. agrabah sucks, the music is weak, and i fuckin hate it there.</p>
<p>i have a love hate relationship with this chapter, but i think its as good as its gonna get for the time being tbh. i hope y'all enjoy it.</p>
<p>oh yeah i should also mention, theres brief mentions of death in this chapter. its not super focused on but we all know what happens at the end of terras route in birth by sleep :')</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything in Terra’s body seizes, and before he can register what’s happening, Terra’s already on his feet, blankets tangled around his legs. Panting, he tries to take stock of where he is and what’s happening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In front of him is Master Merlin, sound asleep in a chair, his ridiculous floppy hat slumped and dangling over his eyes. He snores softly in a deep and steady rhythm, just loud enough for Terra to know he’s snoring. Behind him is the cot Master Merlin had magicked up for him to sleep in, pillow on the ground and blankets skewed and tangled. Beyond his bed lies two others, both of them filled with sleeping bodies. Axel is asleep practically face down, with his arms dangling over the sides of the cot and the blankets pulled up only far enough to cover his legs and waist. His head is turned just the slightest, enough that he’s definitely not suffocating in his pillow. Beside his cot is Kairi’s, and if there wasn’t a human-shaped lump of blankets, Terra would have assumed she was elsewhere. She’s curled up tight, the blankets pulled nice and snug around her with the excess contributing to the lump shape. Only a tuft of hair sticks out from beneath the blanket cocoon; the only concrete sign she’s still there. Around them all is the forest, the sun hidden behind tree trunks and leaves, light just barely managing to speckle the forest floor below. Crickets chirp. Birds sing. The wind tugs at the leaves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was just a nightmare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Already the nightmare has faded, leaving only the lingering fear and the sticky feeling of a cold sweat. His heart clenches and his guts twist. He isn’t going to be able to fall back asleep like this. Though he can’t remember what exactly his nightmare was about, he knows that the state the nightmare left him in would only serve to keep him awake. Desperate to escape that lingering feeling of dread and fear, Terra limps away as quietly as he can. None of the others seem to stir or follow him as he leaves the clearing Master Merlin fashioned into a makeshift camp, and that at least settles a little part of his galloping stomach. He wants to be alone right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly and quietly, Terra sneaks off into the forest, following paths that are now familiar to find his way towards the spot Master Merlin commonly uses as a training site. Terra reaches the little clearing alone, and he does his best to give the pond a wide berth. He’s still doing hydrotherapy exercises under Master Merlin’s instructions. Despite all the good it’s been doing him for regaining muscle mass and stamina, Terra still hates being submerged in water. It reminds him just a little too much of being swallowed alive by the darkness. That is certainly an experience Terra is determined to never live again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beyond the pond is a trampled patch of earth. All of the grass has been stamped down and trampled to the point that there’s barely any grass left. What little greenery there is certainly isn’t green anymore. In the dirt are footprints. He can make out which are Axel’s and which are Kairi’s. Thankfully, both the size of their shoes and the treads of their shoes are different, so it’s relatively easy to see where both of them have gone. Kairi’s footsteps are linear and patterned, the zig-zag treads showing up starkly in the dirt. They charge all over the training grounds, chasing after the flat-bottomed boots that Axel wears. His footprints are far larger, and far messier. He has virtually zero tread on his boots, making his footprints wide and sloppy where he’s skid to a stop. If he didn’t leap and dance around the training grounds so much, Terra thinks his footprints would be a little more uniform. It would also probably help if he got new boots with fresh treads, something to help him stick to the ground a little bit better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost self-consciously, Terra looks down at his own boots. He lifts one foot to look at the mark it leaves behind in the dirt. His footprints aren’t as big as Axel’s, but they’re far bigger than Kairi’s. His treads are simple star and diamond patterns, the kind of pattern one sees on the steel ramps leading into shops and warehouses. The patterns stick out in the dirt, just like Kairi’s, but they’re far deeper and heavier than hers. Terra lowers his foot back to the ground, and looks around the training area once again. His eyes skirt over the pond as they take in the sights around him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Terra had nightmares as a kid, he used to get up and run all the way across the castle, a little oil lamp in his hands. He would wake Eraqus, and the man would welcome him into his bed, where ghosts and ghouls and the boogieman couldn’t get him. When Terra grew out of running to Eraqus, he used to sneak off to the forecourt in his pyjamas. There he would practice katas and forms and strength exercises until his body was frozen and his movements were sloppy from exhaustion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he can’t do that anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks back down at his boots again, and his eyes land on his right thigh. Beneath the honey brown fabric of his hakama bottoms he can feel the brace he’s been told to wear. Master Merlin had said that he was making amazing progress in his recovery, but that he should still be careful. He’d been presented the brace afterwards, a simple little thing to help keep pressure on his thigh, and to provide him a little bit more stability. Even with a limp, Terra can walk and run and trot. It’s not as fluid or as graceful as it once was, but he could still do it. And that’s all Master Merlin had cleared him for when he’s out of the water. Running, walking, and trotting. Jumping, stomping, kicking, and even standard katas and form practices were off limits to him. He’d promised that he wouldn’t push himself past his limits. He’d promised that he would do as Master Merlin said when it came to his physiotherapy. But with the fear and the dread and the sheer adrenaline from his nightmare, Terra’s resolve begins to waver. He needs something familiar, something that offers comfort. He can’t think of Master Eraqus, nor can he bring himself to think of Aqua and Ventus. He doesn’t want to bother Axel or Kairi, and Master Merlin would surely ask him to get in the pond if he were awake. All he wants is to do a little bit of Keyblade practice…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gritting his teeth, Terra summons Ends of the Earth to his hand. It’s weight is familiar again, no longer the heavy burden it was when Terra had first woken from time after the darkness. He gives his Keyblade a few test swings, small motions to gauge the weight, balance, and strength. His leg seems to hold out just fine, and feeling Ends of the Earth in his hands again, ready to be used in practice, is enough to soothe the edges of frayed nerves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You gonna go back on your promise to Merlin and Yen Sid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nearly jumps out of his skin, and quick as he can he pivots on his good foot and fires off a quick shot of ice. Axel doesn’t even flinch, simply casting a flame spell to melt the ice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I’m sorry. I just, I didn’t realize you were there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel just flaps a hand in a dismissive manner. He pushes off of the tree he was leaning on, and slowly he approaches.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s probably my fault anyways. No harm done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel stops just in front of Terra, and not for the first time, Terra notices just how tall he is. At a certain point in his life, he was the tallest of everyone he knew. It’s a little weird now, knowing someone who is almost a foot taller than himself. Axel doesn’t seem to notice his height compared to Terra’s. He just gives him a knowing grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were about to do something you weren’t supposed to, weren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Terra can’t help but scowl at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it to you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m a troublemaker. And Merlin isn’t too far away, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra and Axel stare one another down, Terra refusing to back down. His nightmare has left him in a bad mood, and though he knows it’s not Axel’s fault, he’s still tempted to take his temper out on him. Axel leans back, however, and Terra doesn’t have the chance to think about taking his temper out on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not quite as heavy a sleeper as you think I am. Plus, you squeaked a little bit when you woke up. Bad dream, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can feel his face heating up in embarrassment, and he does his best to pay it no mind. Axel reaches a hand out and pats him on the shoulder, his grin ever present on his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you wanna talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His reply comes out a little bit too forceful and clipped to be pleasant, yet Axel just shrugs at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Suit yourself.” Axel says, and then sits himself down in the dirt. “Just know that I’m here if you want to talk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra stares down at Axel, and Axel, crossing his legs and placing his hands in his lap, stares back up at him. Terra lifts an eyebrow. Axel follows suit. He stares for a few moments longer before he shakes his head and turns to step away a few feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re gonna use your Keyblade?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what if I am?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll worry Kairi to death if you pull something, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra stops, and he thinks. He’s seen Kairi worry and fuss over Axel before during training, and he’s experienced it first hand when she fusses over him after he pushes himself a little bit too hard in the pond. Something about it reminds him of Aqua, chasing after him to come inside after he’s spent the night out practicing with his Keyblade. And somehow, the thought of disappointing Kairi like he used to disappoint Aqua was enough for him to falter. He casts his eyes back to look at Axel, who hasn’t moved a muscle. He’s still sitting there, still watching him, no doubt waiting for the moment that Terra decides to practice with his Keyblade out of the water anyways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra scowls back at him and dismisses his Keyblade. He turns and carefully stomps his way over to the dreaded pond, stripping himself of his shirt and pants along the way. Once in his underwear, Terra wades out into the water, his whole body shuddering at the chill of it. The Land of Departure was where he was raised. Cold temperatures aren’t new to him. But somehow, the chill of the pond feels worse than any early morning frost the Land of Departure had to offer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stops only when he’s up to his chest in the water, and he turns back to look at Axel. Axel has moved closer, somehow standing up, walking closer, and sitting near the edge of the pond without making a peep. The short-temper he’s retained thanks to his nightmare wins out. Ends of the Earth is back in his hands, and before Axel can move, Terra winds up and swings it in a harsh arc. The flat of the blade drags through the water and creates a rather impressive wave that crashes onto Axel, who isn’t the least bit dignified when he yelps and falls backwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! What was that for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra just peels the bottom of one eyelid down and sticks his tongue out at him. He can almost see the water starting to steam off of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you’re going to regret that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel charges into the water after him, shedding his jacket and shirt like some kind of crazed fiend. The resulting splashes are sharp and strong, and hit Terra directly in the face. He chokes on the water that finds its way up his nose and down his throat, and in retaliation he splashes back at Axel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For what must be more than ten minutes, he and Axel splash at each other and send waves as big as they can make back and forth at one another. Their dance around the pond starts off aggressive, but before he knows it, Terra is panting and laughing and coughing, with Axel’s voice echoing the same sentiments. It’s only when Terra slips and his head dips below the water’s surface that the fighting starts to slow. Axel helps him back above the water, and they splash at one another for a little bit longer before they’re both sitting in the water near the shore, the lingering waves from their fight lapping at their stomachs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You feeling a little bit better?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nods, and Axel chuckles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hard to stay mad when you’re playing in puddles, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t exactly call this a puddle.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmmm… I would. It’s just a really big puddle.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra snorts and flicks a little bit of pond water at him. Axel flicks some back. From there, the two of them sit in the water, listening to the birds sing, the crickets chirp, and the leaves rustling overhead. Though not entirely gone, Terra’s bad mood has mostly evaporated, leaving only tired lungs and chilly muscles. Axel seems content just to sit in silence, and Terra is too, until Axel finally speaks up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re nothing like the Keyblade Masters Merlin is always talking about.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can practically feel himself deflate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s because I’m not a Master.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh? You’re not?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A lump forms in Terra’s throat, and instead of speaking he shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh,” Axel mumbles. “Could’ve fooled me. Yen Sid wouldn’t stop talking about you, Aqua, and Ventus like all three of you are long lost masters.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only Aqua is a Keyblade Master. I… I wasn't good enough for it, back then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel snorts, and from the corner of his eye he can see the man cross his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And who told you that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My Master... Master Eraqus. I,” and Terra falters, struggling with himself to form the words. “I failed to keep the darkness inside me in check… And I…” Finally, Terra chokes. He can’t finish the sentence, can’t tell Axel what he’s done. He looks down, down at the water that he sits in, down at the sand beneath him and the small patches of pond weeds that grow in it. He can feel Axel’s curious eyes on him, but no matter how much he tries to reason with himself, Terra can’t bring himself to say more. It’s likely Master Yen Sid has told them all about the crimes Terra’s committed. It’s a wonder that any of them considered him to be any amount of good or trustworthy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know… I was kind of the reason my homeworld fell to darkness.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that, Terra looks up at him. Axel isn’t looking at him anymore, his eyes turned away and one hand rubbing at the back of his neck through all his wet hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You see, my friend and I, we used to sneak into this castle almost every single day. It was the most fun a couple of kids could get into. All of the staff there hated us, until they needed extra hands to help out. We already knew most of the secrets to getting in and out of the place anyways. I guess they figured that we’d stop sneaking in if they just hired us as apprentices.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something on Axel’s face changes, and though Terra can’t place what it is, it sends a shiver up his spine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So we worked with them on their science experiments. Mostly matters of the heart, and sometimes on monsters that one of the other apprentices somehow kept catching. He just kept bringing in more and more of those monsters, though, and one by one, all of the other apprentices started working on the monsters. It was weird and wrong. Suddenly, sneaking out of the castle became a whole lot more exciting than sneaking in used to be. My friend and I would sneak out at the first chance we got every single day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel wheezes out a pained sounding chuckle, and he tugs anxiously on his hair. Terra is kind of enraptured by his story, though his gut tells him that the story certainly isn’t a happy one. Axel takes a moment to recollect himself before he keeps going.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe if we hadn’t snuck out so much, we could have stopped what was happening. Maybe if we stood up for the things in that castle we would have made a difference. Maybe we could have changed it all, right then and there. But we didn’t. The other apprentices called us in one day for new experiments. Some tests they wanted our help to run. My friend, he said we shouldn’t go. I insisted we should, and dragged him all the way there. We didn’t know until it was too late that something was wrong. The monsters were out and destroying everything. The other apprentices were…” Axel suddenly grips at his arm and shudders, as if he remembered something shocking and gruesome. “They were gone. And the one who started it all was there. He tried to kill us. I tried to run away. Only good that it did me was that I was the last to go. They nearly killed my friend when he tried to protect me, and then they nearly killed me. Last thing I remember is falling into nothing and everything hurting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel turns to smile at Terra, but it’s hollow and pained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“After that, I felt nothing. My home crumbled into darkness around me, and I let it happen. I watched people die and be scattered and I let it happen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Axel turns away, Terra feels as if a bomb has been dropped on his skull. They’re both quiet for some time, the sound of birds and crickets and the breeze filling the void between them. Axel had stood by and watched as people were killed. Axel had watched as a world he might have been able to save fell to darkness. And Axel said he had felt nothing while it happened. Then Axel sighs and gives an awkward laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So yeah, uh… That’s one bad thing about me. Uh… You tell me one bad thing about you, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unthinking and still somewhat dazed from the severity of knowing charming-and-annoying Axel had let people die, Terra let the first words that came to mind slip through his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I killed my own father.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The whistle that Axel makes is long and, almost disturbingly, impressed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s pretty bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t know half of it…” Terra mumbles. Axel gives him a little elbow to his side, and Terra tries to think, to gather his thoughts. He fails miserably, and allows whatever it is fermenting in his heart tumble out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My father… Master Eraqus. He raised me for as long as I can remember. I was just some orphan he picked up off of the streets one day on some world I don’t care to remember. He brought me home, gave me food and clothes, and he loved me like I was a real son. He brought home a sister, and a brother, gave me a real family. And then when he was going to put a stop to Xehanort, going to remove the X-blade before it could even be formed, I…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Memories flash in Terra’s head in a whirlwind. Eraqus carrying him on his hip to diplomatic meetings a three-year-old child had no interest in. Eraqus teaching him how to make simple meals. Eraqus playing with him out in the snow. Eraqus bequeathing him his own Keyblade, Eraqus teaching him how to fight, Eraqus teaching him how to fly, how to defend, how to protect. Ventus standing before Eraqus, his head down, while an attack meant to kill him flew forth from his father’s Keyblade. Fighting to the death with his father. Landing a finishing blow on his father. Watching, as his father was struck in the back before him, his eyes rolling back and body falling forwards. Tears Terra hadn’t noticed forming fall from his chin and cheeks, running hot little streaks down his face and falling into the pond below.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was going to kill Ventus… He was going to end all of Xehanort’s plans by sacrificing Ventus… I didn’t let him speak, I didn’t try to speak to him… I just, I saw him attacking Ventus, and I rushed in without thinking. I cut my master, my <em>father</em> down. I killed Aqua and Ventus’ father. I never wanted to hurt him, but I was so hurt and confused that I just…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A choking sob squeezes his throat closed, and Terra shuts his eyes tight. A warm arm, still damp from their earlier fight, wraps around his shoulders and holds him close. Terra doesn’t move, and instead works on keeping himself from outright ugly sobbing. He shouldn’t be crying. He shouldn’t be allowed to cry. He’d done this. He’d killed his own father. He’d killed Aqua and Ventus’ father. He doesn’t get to cry over this. But he cries anyways, suffocating the whines and sobs threatening to escape him, and instead hiccupping as tears run down his face. And all the while, Axel sits at his side, holding him close, remaining an ever present comfort while Terra’s guilt gets the better of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sit together like that for a long time, long enough for Terra to finally get control of himself, long enough for Terra to wipe at his eyes and suck back the snot threatening to dribble out of his nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know,” Axel starts in a soft tone. “You’re not so bad for a bad guy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-How will Aqua and Ventus ever forgive me…? How will they even look at me without seeing some kind of killer…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even if they do, you still have me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra barely manages to look up at Axel, his eyes sore and chest shivering. Axel offers him a weak smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but I won’t judge you for your wrongs if you don’t judge me for mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The smile Terra gives him back is weak and watery, but when he nods, his heart feels just a few pounds lighter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i am a strong believer that both axel and terra are a couple of dorks who feel crushing guilt over things they technically didn't have much control over and are willing to sit side by side in a raging fire and say "This is Fine :)"</p>
<p>axel thinks he's the reason radiant garden fell to darkness, even though it was slated to fall eons before he had any hand in the apprentice stuff.</p>
<p>terra thinks hes the only reason eraqus is dead, even though we all know xehanort played him like a damn fiddle and has decided that he is the reason eraqus is dead. which i mean. i guess that technically isnt wrong but they both could have just spoken to each other like fuckin adults, you know?</p>
<p>also mega shoutout to Ookamisoulreaper. your comments keep me goin, and i really appreciate every single comment i get on this fic. makes me feel warm and fuzzy and gives me the strength to keep truckin along. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. I Am Not Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>His palms are sweaty. His eyes are unfocused. His whole body seems to shake in fear. He can't do it, not now, not ever again. He's been in the darkness before, he knows what kinds of hell it brings upon others. It is nothing but death and destruction and devastation, with no kindnesses in between.</p>
<p>But he promised he would go. He promised would save her.</p>
<p>He promised that one day, he would set things right.</p>
<p>He can't back out now, no matter how terrifying it is.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fuckin check me out, dude, im out here killin it with writing chapters AND balancing casual melody of memory streams. ill probably miss most of my writing tomorrow, unfortunately, because i work and its going to be a busy stocking day, but hey! whatever man! not bad for a lazy bum! i had a pretty good time writing this chapter too. i hope y'all like it, cause im really liking writing the kairi axel terra trio!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Staring down into the surface of the pond, Terra carefully tugs at a strand of his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop that, you’re pulling all the rest of the hair out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi just gives a good natured huff before she tugs lightly on his hair, undoing what little of the braid she had started. Terra watches her hands in the reflection, watches as she combs through his hair with her fingers and begins separating it into three strands all over again. She’s never rough with his hair, never pulling hard enough to hurt or pulling hairs out. It’s almost nice, the way it feels as she slowly braids his hair back. It’s a small step, Terra knows, but a big one nonetheless. Letting her play with his hair, having full control over one part of him without ever betraying the small amount of trust he’s placed in her. The first time he’d let her braid his hair, she’d almost shed a few tears over it. Why, Terra didn’t understand. Or rather, didn’t fully understand. He doubts he’d ever let someone do something to his body without his express permission, but something small like this would be easy to get used to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Subconsciously, Terra lifts his hand again to tug at a strand of his hair. Again, Kairi huffs at him, and he remembers too late that she was trying to braid it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry. I guess I’m still not used to my reflection.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra stares down at his reflection for a moment, taking his time to think it over while Kairi undid and combed his hair with her fingers once more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just… Didn’t expect to get bigger… Or my hair to grow longer, even though a decade has passed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He really let it grow out, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. It wasn’t always this long.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi hums as she starts braiding again, her smile seeping into the tone of her voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, if you ask me, I think you look good with long hair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra snorts in response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t know what I looked like when my hair was shorter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is true,” she says, readjusting one of her hands in his hair. “But that doesn’t mean that long hair doesn’t suit you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra falls silent for a few moments, watching once more through the pale reflection as she works. His eyes watch as all of long and unruly hair is pulled back and slowly braided together. It’s still the same rich brown he remembers, and his eyes are the same deep blue, but something about it still seems off. Something he can’t quite place. It makes his stomach clench just a little bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think I should cut it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you should do whatever you want with it. It’s your hair after all, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I guess so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I’m hearing a ‘but’ in there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A soft chuckle rumbles out of his chest, and Terra remembers just quickly enough to keep his head still. Nodding would probably throw her off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess there is. I guess I just don’t really… I don’t really see <em>me</em> in there. Like there’s some kind of disconnect.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could always get it cut if you don’t like it. The Good Fairies are pretty handy with a pair of scissors.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something in him flinches, and his throat tightens for only a heartbeat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think I want anyone near my face and neck with a pair of scissors.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi laughs, and it sounds nearly musical. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess that’s fair. They seem to like arguing a lot. Who knows how your head would look after a trim with them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I’ll be bald.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And again Kairi laughs, this time a little harder, a little less musical. Terra smiles at the sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If it’s a choice between being bald and having long hair, I think you should keep the long hair. Besides,” she hums as she finally reaches the end of the braid. “If you keep it long, I could keep braiding it for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra hesitates as Kairi ties the end of the braid off with a ribbon she got from who knows where. She seems to realize the meaning behind her words quickly enough, and adds a hasty “Only if you want me to, though.” Terra shakes his head when her hands leave his hair, and he looks up to cast a smile back at her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I think I would like that. It sort of feels…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smiles at him again, and it makes Terra’s heart feel a little warmer inside. She soon stands up, wiping the dust and dirt away from her rump. Terra stands up as well, copying the motion of tidying up his clothes. When he looks back up at her, she’s staring at him, eyes somewhat narrowed and a hand on her chin. He tilts his head, and when she doesn’t respond, he speaks up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is something on my face?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I was just thinking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra tilts his head in the other direction. Again, she doesn’t respond, and again, he asks her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What were you thinking about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just think you look really good with long hair. It looks really nice in a braid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can already feel the colour rushing to his cheeks, and he self consciously rubs at the back of his neck. A thick braid brushes against his hand, the weave almost silky to the touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah… Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re welcome!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! There you are!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both he and Kairi look up to see Axel jogging towards them, his hand still in the air from the wave he no doubt gave them when he saw them. Axel is quick to approach them, and after a moment of stopping and taking a deep breath, he starts to chatter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve been looking all over for the two of you. Merlin says Yen Sid sent him an important notice, and that we’re supposed to be at the tower soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra’s stomach lurches at the thought, but neither Kairi nor Axel seem to notice his sudden bout of queasiness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does Master Yen Sid want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel just shrugs at her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Beats me. Guess he was in a rush and forgot to put it down on the letter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We won’t have to use magic to get there, will we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The look that both Axel and Kairi give him is a sure-fire reassurance that magic is the only way in and out of this strange sunset forest. Terra groans and preemptively grips his stomach. The jump with magic hasn’t even happened yet, and he already feels sick to his stomach. Axel gives him a comforting pat on his shoulder, and Kairi takes careful hold of one of his hands. While their support is appreciated, Terra can’t help but feel he might throw up in front of Master Yen Sid if they teleport directly into his study. And boy, Terra does <em>not</em> want to find out how Master Yen Sid reacts to magic sickness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We should probably get going. I don’t know how long Yen Sid or Merlin can wait.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi says a hearty “Right!” and Terra can only offer a nod in response. They’re off before Terra can get control back over his stomach, Kairi tugging on his hand as she runs, Axel just ahead of her with his long legged strides, and Terra at the rear, still gripping his stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t take them long to find Master Merlin. Even the colourblind could pinpoint the man’s hat and long blue robe from a mile away. He looks flustered, packing up his little deerskin suitcase with just about everything in sight, shrinking bookcases and vanities and beds and chairs and everything under the sun one would find in a house. The magic the man could weave was impressive, and watching everyday furniture dance around the training field was mesmerizing. Mesmerizing until an enormous china cabinet falls on top of you, of course. The old wizard snaps his suitcase shut the moment the last teacup dances its way in, and he stands up straight so fast that his beard nearly slaps himself in the face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah! There you three are! All ready to go now, are we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes sir!” both Axel and Kairi say, and Terra nods with a mumbled “Yes, Master Merlin.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come now, where’s your enthusiasm? It’s only a hop, a skip and a jump away!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To punctuate his sentence, Master Merlin reaches out both hands to take hold of Axel and Kairi’s. The moment their hands touch is the moment they disappear, and the moment they reappear outside of the Mysterious Tower is the moment Terra crashes to his hands and knees and squeezes his eyes shut. His stomach churns and his lungs squeeze. The whole world seems like its dipping and swaying underneath him, and it certainly doesn’t feel like it’s going to stop any time soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my. Magic sickness again, is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can’t bring himself to nod, but thankfully Axel or Kairi must have, because Master Merlin croons in sympathy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry to put such a strain on you, lad, but it’s simply the fastest way to travel. Kairi, Axel? Would be so kind as to tend to him while I see Master Yen Sid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No problem.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, I can always count on you youngsters to look out for one another. Follow me up when you’re feeling better, all right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time Terra does nod, though he regrets it almost immediately after. His world spins just a little bit harder, and it takes all of his willpower to stay on his hands and knees, panting for air and hoping that he doesn’t lose his lunch right here, right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A warm, broad hand rubs circles on his back, while a smaller hand rests against the back of his own. Their comfort, while useless in the face of a churning stomach, is appreciated. Slowly but surely, Terra’s nausea starts to eb, and eventually he’s able to sit back on his knees. He feels a little sweaty, and a little light headed from all of the panting, but his stomach no longer feels like it might return to him his lunch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feeling better?” Kairi asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feeling better.” Terra answers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel and Kairi help him to his feet, and this time, they enter the tower and climb the stairs on their own. Terra feels a little bit of pride through the lingering feeling of magic sickness. He no longer needs a crutch to walk. He no longer needs to be helped up the staircase. He still limps, yes, but he can walk and run and jump and climb all on his own. He doesn’t know if Kairi and Axel are watching him, or if they feel any kind of pride for the progress he’s made, but he finds that he doesn’t care. It’s simply nice to have proper control over himself again, even if it’s not quite the same as it used to be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’re silent for most of their trek up the stairs, with Kairi and Axel whispering to one another the closer they get to the top. Why Master Yen Sid felt the need to place his study at the top of the highest tower in his small castle, Terra will never understand. But at least it provides him a good test of stamina, and when they reach the top Terra is thoroughly pleased with the fact that he’d barely broken a sweat. Perhaps there was a method to that hydrotherapy madness after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel reaches the door first, and he doesn’t bother to knock on the door, instead pushing it open and strolling his way in. Kairi follows on his heels, and Terra trails close behind. It turns out he follows a little too closely, as he bumps into Kairi and Axel when the man in front stops short. Axel feels frozen like a brick, and when Kairi shuffles to look up at him, she freezes too. Terra can’t figure out why they’ve stopped like this until he peers around Axel and over Kairi’s head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master Merlin is leaned over Master Yen Sid’s desk, one hand braced on the desk while the other holds onto one of Master Yen Sid’s. Merlin pulls back just a little bit, and yes, Terra is suddenly one hundred percent sure that they’ve walked right in on a rather private moment. Master Yen Sid glances over Master Merlin’s shoulder and looks over each of them for only a moment before he’s looking back at Master Merlin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You make a convincing argument. Once things have settled down, I’ll see about moving the tower closer to Zootopia.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh you won’t regret it! Trust me when I say it’s a rather marvelous place, that big city, and all the people are so vibrant!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid smiles up at Merlin, and his tone is far warmer than Terra has ever heard it before in his life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will take your word for it. We’ll have to visit sometime.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Indeed, indeed! Oh, but I’m keeping you from your important Keybearer duties! I’ll excuse myself for now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I look forward to your next visit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After that, Master Merlin is quick to scamper off into a side room, a little jig in his step as he hurries out. The moment that Master Merlin has left is the moment the smile evaporates from Master Yen Sid’s face, replaced with his usual frown and furrowed brows. Thankfully, he doesn’t sound angry when he speaks, instead just the normal grave and no-nonsense tone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come in. I have much to ask of you all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel visibly flinches and hurries in, stiff legged and arms straight against his sides. Kairi is less stiff, but definitely still awkward, and Terra mirrors the sentiment. The three of them line up in front of Master Yen Sid’s desk, and as they wait for him to gather his thoughts, Terra casts a quick glance at Axel and Kairi. They glance back at him. Master Yen Sid folds his hands atop his desk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have been keeping in touch with Merlin over these past few weeks, and he has told me the three of you have been making great strides in your training. Each of you looks stronger than when you left, and you most of all Terra. It is good to see you back in health.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra bows shallowly at the waist and murmurs a soft “thank you”, and Master Yen Sid nods to him before he continues.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As you know, Xehanort has been amassing vessels in order to secure his thirteen Darknesses, just as we have been working to collect our seven Lights. As things are, Xehanort has come dangerously close to acquiring all thirteen Darknesses, while we stand two short of our original goal. Sora, Riku, and Mickey are all out in the greater known World, preparing for the final battle, while you three remain under Merlin’s tutelage. Terra,” he says, and Terra almost jolts out of his skin as he tries to stand up straighter. “While we originally had not accounted for you to be found so quickly, you alone do not fill in the gaps in our ranks. We are still one Guardian short.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid’s hands come up to support his chin, while his elbows rest on the edge of his desk. Something in Terra’s gut says that he isn’t going to like what Master Yen Sid says next, and he does his best to brace himself for whatever may come.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Though your last brush with darkness has left you with a decade long gap in your memories, I am afraid I must ask for your assistance in such matters.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yes. Terra absolutely does not like what he’s hearing. All at once it feels like the colour has drained out of him, and the worried whisper Kairi makes is enough to tell him that he’s as grey as he feels.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unfortunately, we are still unable to locate Ventus’ whereabouts, and without his heart in his body to guide us to him, we are unable to find him without Aqua’s help. I must ask you, Terra, Kairi, and Lea, to join your efforts with Riku and Mickey in the Realm of Darkness.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I can’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It's out of his mouth before he can stop it. His hands feel like they're shaking, a cold sweat has formed on the back of his neck, and his mouth feels incredibly dry. A hundred and one thoughts race through his head. Xehanort, the darkness, being consumed by it, the pain of ten years spent alone and lost and confused, the rage, the hunger, the empty, gnawing hunger in his chest and throat and teeth and gut. The world seems to go out of focus at the thought of willingly stepping into the Realm of Darkness, armorless and defenseless. Master Yen Sid lifts a hand to stop him from speaking any further, but the way Terra’s throat feels like it’s closing would have kept him from saying more anyways. He can feel Kairi take his hand in her own, holding it close and squeezing it softly. Axel rests a hand on his shoulder and squeezes as well. It’s not enough to fight back the fear, but it’s enough to keep the world from fraying more than it has.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am afraid that there is little choice in the matter. Should we not find Aqua and Ventus in time, I fear Xehanort will force our hands into fighting at the expense of innocent lives. But I do not ask something of this caliber from you without proper care and preparation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hand Master Yen Sid had removed from his chin is waved through the air, and before Terra can really register what’s happening, a sturdy suitcase appears on the desk before him. It’s absolutely massive in size. Why that is, Terra isn’t sure, but he can’t bring himself to worry much about it at the moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As it stands, you are the only one who has a strong enough connection to Aqua’s heart. You are our last hope of finding her in time. Within this suitcase is something an old acquaintance of mine sent to me with a short letter. Your Keyblade Armor, reforged and repaired from a decade of disuse and disrepair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a very brief second, Terra thinks that he can see exasperation on Master Yen Sid’s face through the haze of fear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She has also decided to gift you a robe commonly used by the Organization. She has claimed she has repaired and retailored the item so that it may be worn with your armor, and the spells and incantations to repel the darkness have been strengthened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To his right, Axel whistles a long and low note. Terra looks up at Axel, still terrified to death at the thought of willingly jumping right back into the darkness. He looks back at him, and tugs at his own coat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds like you have a friend in high places. Coats like these aren’t easy to come by, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Indeed,” Master Yen Sid says. “Those coats are ancient, and few and far between. It is said that they were once made by the Master of all Masters himself, and that they excel at keeping the darkness at bay. How she has managed to get her hands on one, I do not know. But know this, Terra. I do not mean to send you into the dark unprepared and alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra looks from Axel to Master Yen Sid, and from Master Yen Sid to the suitcase, still sitting on the desk. It’s brown, with a black diamond pattern painted on. Symbols sit within the diamonds, most of them unfamiliar to him. One of them he does know. The symbol is the same shape as the brooch he wears on his belt, holding up his hakama bottoms. It’s the same brooch as the one Ventus wore on his chest, and the same as the one Aqua wore on hers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Images of Aqua flashes through Terra’s mind. Her smile at dawn when she found him in the training hall. The sight of her summoning a powerful spell to launch at him during a spar. The sound of her laughter on the cliff tops at night when he and Ventus would bicker. The image of her, lost and alone in the darkness, fighting an endless, unwinnable battle all on her own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll go if Terra goes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra almost jumps out of his skin when Kairi speaks, and Axel isn’t one to be left out either it seems.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can count me in on this wild goose chase if they’re going.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi squeezes his hand again just as Axel squeezes his shoulder. He looks down at the suitcase, waiting for him on Master Yen Sid’s desk. And then he looks up at Master Yen Sid, his hands on his lap and his eyes unwavering as he looks at Terra.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once more the image of Aqua alone in the Realm of Darkness comes to mind. And though his hand shakes harder than he’s ever felt it shake before in his life, he reaches forwards and grabs the handle of the suitcase.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay to be fair, i dont know where that merlin and yen sid thing came from either. one second im sitting there, minding my own business and writing my chapter, the next second monkey brain has taken over and screamed "MERLIN AND YEN SID ARE OLD AND IN LOVE!" so uh. yeah. theyre old and in love and ive decided im going to be an ultra yen sid/merlin stan so uh. i dunno. eat it or something. i just wanted some happy old men. and if it feels like im rushing through terras recovery, its because i am! cause i dont have much material for axel and kairi and terra all bonding while hes doing hydrotherapy and i know it would kill me if i wrote nothing but 10k about terra doing aquatic exercises. also im not a doctor lol.</p>
<p>im gonna go watch sword in the stone again so bye, i hope you liked it, cause i sure did lmao.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. For Aqua</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Who this person is, Terra isn't sure. How they knew his measurements, how they got ahold of his Keyblade Armor, how they even learned how to forge and repair something as intricate and delicate as that, is way beyond Terra's knowledge. As far as he knew and from what Master Yen Sid has told him, there's only four remaining Keyblade Masters. Mickey doesn't know how to forge Keyblade Armor, and neither does Aqua. Riku was only recently named a Master, and Xehanort certainly wouldn't be doing him any favours... Would he? No, no probably not. But at the very least his armor is repaired, and he's walking into the seat of all of his fears with proper protection. Hopefully it will be enough.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao hey y'all i finished melody of memory today! why do i feel disappointed! why would you do this nomura!</p>
<p>anyways heres a chapter that i had to split in half because i felt like it was going to get too long and it just seemed like a nice place to stop them. this is just... mild axel and terra and riku bonding lmao. and im sick of looking at it. i hope y'all enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve definitely got a friend in a high place. That’s some real crafty work.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slipping into the black coat that was inside the suitcase was a task easier said than done. The garment itself was heavy beyond any functional reason, and the sleeves were tight beyond belief. Two zippers, a set of clips and a chain, and a chain link drawstring in the hood. Unzipping it properly was frustrating and required that both zips be perfectly aligned. Unclipping one end of the chain on the breast was a nightmare, requiring Axel’s expertise to manage. And though Terra isn’t exactly a body builder with grossly defined and bulging muscles, he’s still got enough fat and muscle in his arms that snaking them into the sleeves was difficult. The leather felt almost a little too tight, and the heat of leather against skin brought forth sweat, which only made his skin stick to the leather and impede his progress further. Not to mention the left sleeve didn’t bell out around the hand, and instead remained skin tight. A little bit of jiggling the zips and reattaching the chain clip, and finally the coat was on. And Terra can’t help but complain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel like I’m boiling alive in this thing…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, the joys of leather. But you’ll be thankful for that extra heat later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll take your word for it…” he mumbles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel reaches into the suitcase to pull out the long shoulder piece of Terra’s Keyblade Armor. It looks exactly how it used to when he was younger, gleaming brightly in the sun and colours stained and polished on. Brilliant golds and muted marrons. Axel tries to hold the armor up properly, no doubt trying to imagine how it’s supposed to be worn. When he can’t seem to figure it out, he holds it out towards him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Care to show me how this puzzle piece works?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra carefully takes the piece of armor from Axel, and the weight of it is so familiar, so comforting, and it makes his heart feel a little bit warmer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not quite as hard as it seems.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gripping the sleeve of the black coat, Terra worms his arm into the armor’s casing, sliding it up his forearm, past his elbow, and up to his shoulder. As it always used to, his armor seems to recognize that it’s where it’s supposed to be, and it catches against his arm, sitting snug right where Terra remembers having it. Unfortunately, it does seem to make his shoulder and upper arm feel warmer where it’s attached. But the comfortable weight of the armor is enough to outshine the discomfort, if only a little bit. Looking up at Axel, Terra shifts and flexes his arm to show off his Keyblade Armor and how it moves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Each Keybearer’s armor is different, and tuned specifically to that person. I don’t really know how to explain it. Master Eraqus never truly went over that part.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel just shrugs and lifts the vambrace part of his armor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least it goes on easy, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy enough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think you can talk to this friend you’ve got? Convince her to make me some armor and fix up my coat?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra snorts. “Yeah, sure, as soon as I find out who she is, where she is, and how she even knows me, then maybe I’ll ask about it. Making Keyblade Armor isn’t taught to just anyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not even to a master?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… I mean, only masters know how to forge it, and my master never got around to teaching us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a bummer. Oh well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Same as the last piece, Terra grips the edge of his sleeve and worms his arm into the vambrace, twisting and adjusting it until it too seems to catch on his elbow and arm. He twists and flexes his arm, inspecting the way the armor sits, and peering into the black crystals on his elbow and shoulder. Everything moves like it should, polished to a sheen, with not a scratch to be found. It’s almost strange, seeing his Keyblade Armor without any of the nicks and scratches it used to have so long ago. A very small part of him mourns the loss of the blemishes. They were once a part of who he was, and all he had become during his time spent training. The rest of him is relieved to see it so refreshed. A warrior is only as good as his wits and his armor, Master Eraqus used to say. Ruined, breaking, or overused armor wouldn’t protect him for long. For an incredibly brief moment, Terra wonders if Eraqus would be proud to see him like this, getting prepared for an important fight which immaculate armor and proper protection. The dark part of his mind reminds him that he has no rights to Eraqus’ pride any longer, and that it would be better if Eraqus hated him from the grave. The thoughts are short lived when Axel tosses him a pair of mismatched gloves, which he puts on near robotically.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm? Your friend must’ve made you another gift.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra looks up from his hands to watch as Axel pulls one last thing out of the suitcase. The amber glass glitters in the sunlight, the bronze wire shining when turned just right, and the Mark of Mastery brooch sits awash in the glow of the sun shining amber through the glass.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His Wayfinder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra hadn’t even realized he’d said it out loud, and before he can even think of saying anything else, his right hand is outstretched towards Axel, palm up and waiting. Axel places the Wayfinder in his hand, and Terra draws it in close to inspect it. It looks nearly the same as it did when Aqua first made them. There’s a small crack in one of the pieces of glass, and through the crack runs a small seam of gold, holding the delicate pieces all together. A warmth he hasn’t felt in ages surges in his heart, and he folds his hands closed over it, holding it firm and gentle against his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s my Wayfinder. I… I’d thought it was gone for good when I woke. Aqua made three of these. One for herself, one for Ventus, and one for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra looks down at his hands, still folded over the Wayfinder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Somewhere out there, there’s this tree with star-shaped fruit, and they represent an unbreakable connection. They say that as long as you carry good luck charms shaped like it, then nothing can drive you apart. You’ll always find your way back to each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can still remember her voice, telling both him and Ventus about the fruit, and how things like these were supposed to be made out of seashells instead of wire, brooches and glass. He can still remember how he’d teased her for such a sentimental thought, how she’d snarked him back, how Ventus had been excited to have one and be a part of their charms. Terra barely realizes he’s smiling, staring down at his hands, until Axel snorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds like I missed the original mark all those weeks ago, huh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The grin that spread across Axel’s face was truly something terrifying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aqua and Terra sitting in a tree~!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“K-I-S-S-I-N-G~!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Terra was feeling hot in his new coat earlier, then he sure as hell is boiling for real in it now. He can feel every drop of blood in his body rush to his face, and Axel bursts out laughing at the sight of it. Kairi saves him from any more embarrassment, peeking around the shrubbery at them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you two finished goofing around, yet? We have some important things to do, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The reminder flushes all of the blood away from Terra’s face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, we’re done here.” Axel says, patting Terra on the shoulder. “We got him all decked out in his new gear. We’ll be over soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope so! Riku’s starting to get antsy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then she disappears back around the shrubbery, undoubtedly off to report to Riku. Axel pats at his shoulder once more, his grin no longer terrifying and something a little more soft, a little more genuine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure you’re going to be okay in there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, Terra rubs his thumb against the edge of one of the points on his Wayfinder. The familiarity of charm is enough to give him the courage to nod, no matter how small and weak it might be. Axel gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before letting go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We better get going, then. Riku gets grouchy when he’s antsy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Terra nods. Axel turns and starts a leisurely march out from behind the shrubbery. Terra trails behind him, stiff legged and forcing himself to follow. Already his heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest, and he can already feel the shake in his hands. It takes nearly every ounce of willpower for him to follow along behind Axel, his eyes focused and unstaring, until they finally reach the spot in front of Master Yen Sid’s tower where Riku, Mickey, and Kairi wait. Riku is pacing back and forth, hands behind his back and brows furrowed in thought. Mickey is talking with both him and Kairi, though Kairi and Mickey look far more animated and cheerful than he does. Mickey is the first to notice their approach, and when he waves, Terra finally manages to break out of the fearful trance he’s in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hiya, fellas!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku looks up rather sharply, but the furrowed, worried look on his face quickly fades into relief. While Axel approaches Kairi and Mickey, Riku hurries up to Terra, and Terra does his best to stop quickly enough so that neither of them bump into each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra. How are you feeling?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He barely manages to lift one hand away from his chest and Wayfinder to make a shaky so-so motion. The smile on Riku’s face is a sympathetic one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve conquered the darkness that had you once, and you’re not alone this time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nearly jumps out of his skin when Riku takes a hold of his free hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kairi is a Princess of Heart. There’s not a speck of darkness in her. Axel used to be a part of the Organization, and he knows his way around the darkness. Mickey’s been to the Realm of Darkness several times before, and so have I. I promise you won’t get lost, and that you won’t have to fight your demons alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though adrenaline is still pounding through his veins, something in his head settles. He lowers his hand from his chest, and very carefully slips his Wayfinder into his pocket. Once he’s sure it’s safe in his black coat, Terra nods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For Aqua, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For Aqua.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku nods at him, and turns to walk back towards the others. Terra follows him, just as stiff legged as before, but somehow his mind is a little bit calmer. He just needs to think rationally, needs to get a handle on his fear. Kairi, Axel, Mickey, and Riku are all going to be there with him. He’s not walking into the darkness alone. He has people with several years of experience to back him up. He has friends amongst them. Everything would be okay, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. Saying it to himself in his head doesn’t really help with his shaking or his racing heart, but at least it helps keep the moment of clarity Riku had bestowed upon him. He can do this. He <em>has</em> to do this. For Aqua.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is everyone ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mickey’s voice rings out loud and clear, and Terra watches as Kairi, Axel, and Riku give their affirmatives. Mickey looks at him, and Terra has to take a deep breath before he can nod. It’s enough for Mickey, as the little mouse turns away from each of them and summons a Keyblade that immediately sets off all of Terra’s red flags. The golden-bladed Keyblade has an incredibly strong aura of darkness, a stain of pitch in Mickey’s hands. Terra chokes on a breath for only a moment before he reels himself back in. It’s okay. He’s okay. It’s just a Keyblade. It’s in Mickey’s hands. Mickey is trustworthy. He wouldn’t hurt him if he could help it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Light builds at the end of the Keyblade, and just when it becomes near blinding, the light discharges a few feet forwards before stopping. There’s a brilliant flash of light, and when it fades, it leaves a set of doors in its place. They’re impressively tall, a deep, glittering silver in colour, with handles, trim, and decoration of gold on them. The door jamb is a striking swirl of bronze and onyx, and where there appears to be stained glass windows, all Terra can see through them is pitch. For a very brief moment, Terra swears his heart stops beating then and there. Mickey reaches out for one of the handles, and Terra sucks in a sharp breath as he feels his heart restart and kick up into overdrive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This is for Aqua.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay like, next chapter for real this time, we're going into the realm of darkness, i promise on my life itll happen next, im just so fucking fried from melody of memory right now lmao. i cant remember if its a new record or not, beating a game within 4 days of its release date. probably not. i think i beat sword in 3. but i digress. theres a lot to digest in that 15min long cutscene at the end of MoM. and i just need a break because nomura keeps janglin my chains asfdsgfdhgf. im just gonna work on the next chapter and pretend it doesnt exist for now lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. What Hides in the Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This was a bad idea. This was the worst idea.</p>
<p>Terra can't stop shaking, can't stop panting, can't stop his heart from racing a million miles a minute in his chest.</p>
<p>This place is the worst. It smells. It's dark. It's dangerous.</p>
<p>All around him it feels like the darkness is going to consume him, like it's going to drag him into its depths and suffocate him until there's nothing left but an empty shell.</p>
<p>But he can't leave.</p>
<p>Not yet.</p>
<p>Not now.</p>
<p>Not after he's already come so far. He promised he would set things right, and he would rather suffer in endless agony than leave Aqua here by herself.</p>
<p>Aqua doesn't give up.</p>
<p>So neither will he.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao look we're in the realm of darkness for realsies now! aint this fun! im taking a few liberties for this bit i think, just because we only see a little bit of the realm of darkness throughout the entire kingdom hearts franchise, and almost every single time theyre fuckin different. so i wound up adding like three different disney worlds to the darkness cause you know. needed more text and some scenery. so kudos to you if you can name all three of the movies im referencing lmao. i hope y'all enjoy this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The moment Terra stepped into darkness, it felt like he was drowning. He could still inhale and exhale, and there definitely was still oxygen in this realm, but the sheer sensation of darkness, the overwhelming presence of hunger and emptiness and rage, it felt like it could fill his lungs and close his throat at any given moment. Terra had never known the darkness to have a smell, but it sure does seem like it does here. It’s thick and cloying, stale and heavy. It smells almost like autumn rain, when the smell of rotting leaves and petrichor mix. But no matter how thick the smell or how many nice names he could give it, it’s still darkness.</p>
<p>Axel had been the first to notice his falter, and Riku was a quick second. Terra had the hood of his black coat up over his head in a matter of seconds, with Riku standing right in front of him. Kairi and Mickey stood a little out of the way, heads turning and Keyblades at the ready. Keeping an eye out for danger, no doubt.</p>
<p>“Terra,” Riku begins, summoning his own Keyblade. Terra instinctively summons his, his heart beating so hard that it may as well just rip itself out of his chest. “You’re not alone, all right? There’s five of us in total here, and we won’t let you drown, okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, big guy, just take a deep breath. In through the nose, and out through the mouth.”</p>
<p>Terra tries. Really, he does. But his inhale is short and clipped, and his exhale comes out like a squeak. Axel puts his hands on Terra’s shoulders, not pushing or pulling, but staying. His whole body feels like electricity is arcing through him, lighting all of his nerves on fire and freezing them seconds later. It feels like the darkness might swallow him whole, like he might be consumed at any moment. Instinctively, Terra takes a step back, right into Axel.</p>
<p>“Ow! Hey, come on, you’re a lot heavier than me!”</p>
<p>Terra lifts his heel off of Axel’s toe, and he can barely breathe an apology. Everything is too much. Too much all at once. It’s so dark, so cold, so all-encompassing. Fear rips through Terra’s body like a lightning strike. He can’t do this. He can’t be here in the darkness, can’t be swallowed up and kicked out of his own body again. He just <em>can’t</em>. He can’t remember it well, but his heart remembers the feeling of hunger, of emptiness, of rage. He can’t do it again, can’t become <em>that</em> again.</p>
<p>“The darkness is scary, Terra, I know,” Riku pleads with him, raising his empty hand in a placating gesture. “You’ve spent ten years in the dark, alone and afraid and helpless. I know what it’s like, losing your body, heart, and mind to Xehanort, I <em>know</em>. But you’re not alone. We’re here right beside you. We won’t let you face that ever again.”</p>
<p>His words do very little to help him. His eyes dart between everyone he can see. Riku, directly in front of him. Kairi, off to the left, standing on a small, deep purple stone. Mickey, off to the right, head turning and ears twitching and tail flicking. He’s not alone in the darkness. Kairi, Axel, Mickey, and Riku are here with him. Each of them has unique gifts and years of experience to back him up. He has friends among them. Everything will be okay, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. He has to do this, he knows he does. He has to fight back his fear. He has to be brave. He has to venture deeper than two steps in.</p>
<p>For Aqua.</p>
<p>His free hand, though shaking like an earthquake is passing through a china shop, slowly reaches into his pocket, and his fingers brush at the Wayfinder hidden snuggly inside. He just needs to calm down, needs to keep a rational train of thought, keep a moment of clarity before him at all times. He thinks of Aqua. Calm and clear and well articulated. Strong and brave and swift. Ruthless and powerful and merciful.</p>
<p>And she’s alone, lost, afraid.</p>
<p>He’d spent ten years a puppet, his body a toy to control. His mind spent ten years in the Keyblade Graveyard, keeping silent vigil of his body. His heart spent ten years, angry and confused and trapped at the beck and call of a master that did not care for it. He can barely remember any of it, with all three pieces of what makes him who he is separated and scattered. But Aqua didn’t have that grace. Aqua has spent ten years here, deep within the Realm of Darkness. Whole. Alone. Lost. Afraid.</p>
<p>It takes him too long to get a grip. Mickey and Kairi never stop their look out. Axel still holds onto Terra’s shoulders. Riku still stands before him. They wait for him. And he waits for his heart, thumbing his Wayfinder in one hand and gripping Ends of the Earth in the other. And slowly but surely, the paralysis that had claimed his legs lessens. The haze of fear clouding his mind clears. His resolve hardens once more. The shaking doesn’t stop. The sweating stays the same. His heart still beats a million miles a minute. But his head is clear. His resolve is iron. He has to do this. For Aqua.</p>
<p>He takes a shaking step forwards, and then another one. Riku steps out of his way, and Terra takes another step. Axel lets go of his shoulders, and Terra takes another. Even though his lungs feel like they might stop expanding, even though his heart feels like it might escape through his throat, even though he knows he can’t stop shaking, he moves forwards. He has to. Mickey and Kairi take up positions on either side of him, with Axel and Riku following along behind. One hand on his Keyblade, the other on his Wayfinder. His heart racing, his breaths heaving. And still he walks, ignoring the fear and the adrenaline and the desperate need to escape. All is silent, yet his ears still strain to listen for any unfriendly sounds. </p>
<p>“Can you sense anything?”</p>
<p>Mickey’s voice nearly startles his soul out of his body, and when he glances down at him, Mickey clarifies.</p>
<p>“Can you feel her heart out there? I can’t find her anymore, and her trail goes cold in a bunch of different places.”</p>
<p>“Let your heart call out to her,” Riku says behind him. “It’s how we found you.”</p>
<p>Terra slows, tries to concentrate more on his heart. He thinks of her, thinks of her smile and her laugh and the way she could always bruise his knuckles with her Keyblade during a spar. He thinks of the way she used to make hot chocolate during the winters, and how she used to hold onto Eraqus’ coattails as a young girl. He thinks of her light, how luminous and warm and familial it felt. And he calls out to her as hard as he can with his heart. </p>
<p>Silence answers him. Nothing responds. All he can hear is the crunch of stone and gravel underfoot. All he can feel is the cold and the dark. He shakes his head after several seconds, closing his hand around the Wayfinder in his pocket a little bit tighter. Mickey’s brow furrows, and Terra doesn’t have the mental capacity to turn around and look Riku in the face. </p>
<p>“Maybe if we go to where we last sensed her?”</p>
<p>Mickey hums beside him in thought. “I couldn’t find where she went from there, but we didn’t have Terra with us before. You knew her better than we did. Maybe you’ll be able to find something there?”</p>
<p>“Take me there.”</p>
<p>For a second, Terra is startled by how strong his voice sounded. In all honesty, with how badly he was still shaking, he would have assumed his voice would have shook just as hard. And yet it came out strong and clear, if a little soft on the volume. His answer seems to perk Mickey right up, at least.</p>
<p>“Just follow me!” he says, and he begins to scamper off, not too far ahead of the group to be considered beyond their reach, but definitely a scamper in excitement. Riku picks up his pace to follow, and Axel is right there behind him. Terra starts up his now-normal limping run, with Kairi running at his side.</p>
<p>All five of them run in silence for some time, with nothing but the drab scenery and the sounds of their boots and shoes on stone, dirt, and gravel. Bits and pieces of buildings, scenery, and ruins appear while they move. And after passing their third collapsed house, Terra realizes that what they’ve been seeing are pieces of worlds that have been consumed by darkness. He nearly trips while looking at the ruins of a once ornate statue crumbling into rubble, but he’s quick to find his footing. Kairi speaks up soon after.</p>
<p>“Can you tell me more about her?”</p>
<p>“Who? Aqua?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” she pants. “I never really got to meet her before, and it sounds like both you and Mickey have fond memories of her. I want to know more about her.”</p>
<p>“Well… Uh… What did you want to know?”</p>
<p>Kairi, even though she’s been running at his side, lets out a little hum of thought, punctuated by each jarring step and every small and sharp breath in and out.</p>
<p>“Well,” she says. “What world did she come from?”</p>
<p>“She was born on another world, just like I was, but she was raised with me on the Land of Departure. Master Eraqus felt her presence, or something like that, and he took me with him when he raced off to find her.”</p>
<p>“Do Keyblade Masters know when and where their future apprentices are born?”</p>
<p>Terra laughs, a little breathless, and a little amused at the question.</p>
<p>“No, not really. I think he was surveying the worlds then. I wasn’t really paying attention, I had better things to do than watch a mirror, but I guess he must have seen her world at the right time. I think he sensed her light spiking for some reason or another.”</p>
<p>“Were you excited to see her when you first met her?”</p>
<p>Again, Terra laughs, this time far more breathless than before.</p>
<p>“Are you kidding me? I hated her guts when we first met. An only child for ten years or so and suddenly there’s a girl I have to play nice with? Master Eraqus used to chew us out all the time for being brats to each other.”</p>
<p>“When did you become friends?”</p>
<p>That one Terra doesn’t really know how to answer. He tries to think about it, trying to pull what he felt out of those memories from so long ago. He comes back with very little to say, but little is better than nothing, he supposes.</p>
<p>“Probably when we were fourteen. We’d gotten used to each other, but I think we only became friends when we shared our favourite places to hide as kids.” Briefly, Terra snorts. “Her favourite place was up in a tree by a lake.”</p>
<p>
  <em> And yours was a burrow you stole from an angry badger. </em>
</p>
<p>Something inside of Terra squeezes, and he looks away from Kairi, away from the path in front of him. He looks out at the ruins nearby, an old castle with banners with an emblem he doesn’t know and wisps of blue lingering around it. He loses focus, and he trips on an upturned root. He hits the ground hard enough to wind him, and over his choking and coughing he can hear Kairi shout for the others to stop. He’s already propped his torso up with his arms by the time Kairi is kneeling beside him, checking over his ankles.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he wheezes, pushing himself up to sit on his knees. “I’m okay, I just got distracted.”</p>
<p>Out of Mickey, Axel, and Riku, Riku is the first one to step up, a spark in his voice and his eyes.</p>
<p>“Did you sense her?”</p>
<p>Terra stops to think, and then shakes his head. Riku deflates a little bit and Axel steps in.</p>
<p>“What had your head in the clouds?”</p>
<p>“I…” Terra falters, and glances to Kairi. She looks at him, concern in her eyes, confusion on her face. “When I was talking to Kairi, I… I guess I thought I heard someone.”</p>
<p>“Like who?” Axel prods. Terra just shrugs. He couldn’t really place a name to the voice. It had sounded so rough, so tired, so <em>hateful</em>. If he had to go off of those qualities alone, Terra would have said Xehanort, but the man’s voice has been etched into Terra’s heart. It wasn’t Xehanort who spoke to him. He would know if it was Xehanort.</p>
<p>Hesitantly, Terra glances up at the castle in the distance. The towers are crumbling, and parts of the outer walls seem to have been ripped up and torn apart brick by brick, left to hover in the air for all time. The blue wisps ignite and extinguish on their own, almost like fireflies. Some of them alight onto the banners, illuminating the faint and worn images of a sword over a celtic knot. Something tells him he’s heard the voice from within the castle, but he can’t be sure.</p>
<p>“I… I thought I heard it coming from this way, but it didn’t sound like it was really there.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t hear a voice.” Kairi adds in, and Axel says the same. Both Mickey and Riku look at one another, almost as if they could speak to one another through thought alone. Soon enough they turn their attention back to him.</p>
<p>“Did you want to go look around?”</p>
<p>Terra looks back at the castle, takes in the sight of it shrouded in darkness and surrounded by wisps. He shakes his head soon after that, though a strange nagging feeling pokes at his insides.</p>
<p>“We should probably keep going to where you and Mickey last found a trace of Aqua.”</p>
<p>Both Riku and Mickey share another glance before they nod to him. Riku helps him get back to his feet, and after a quick brush of his coat, the five of them start back up again. Parts of him are sore from where he hit the ground, but it’s a different kind of sore than the sore he had been used to for so long. It was the soreness of being hit with something, of a punch that still lingers. Not the soreness of healing bones and weak muscles. Not the soreness of simply lifting your leg six times in a row, or the soreness after pushing yourself up to sit. It’s the kind of soreness Terra remembers from his time spent training on the Land of Departure. It’s a soreness he welcomes whole-heartedly.</p>
<p>Kairi carefully bumps the back of her free hand against his arm, where his one hand has dove into his pocket for his Wayfinder. He glances up at her.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>“Terrified.” He pauses for a moment to think. “But a little bit better.”</p>
<p>The smile Kairi gives him is bright enough to light the whole realm, and though it doesn’t slow his heart, it does make it feel a little bit warmer beneath the churning fear. He’s terrified of this place. Terrified of what hides behind every rock, what hides in the husks of ruined houses and fallen trees. He can still feel the darkness pressing in on him, trying to consume him, to overwhelm him. And it <em>terrifies</em> him. But his head is clear. Even as adrenaline rushes through him, and as his heart races, and his limbs shake, his head is clear of the fog of fear. He holds onto his rational thought, holds onto the clarity in his mind. As long as he holds onto his clarity, he can do this.</p>
<p>For Aqua.</p>
<p>Eventually, their group slows from a run to a jog, and from a jog to a trot. Terra is thankful for the chance to try and catch his breath, and it seems like Kairi and Mickey are thankful as well. Briefly, he thinks it must be difficult for them to keep up, considering how much shorter both them and their legs are. Especially considering Axel’s unfair height, Terra’s leg length, and Riku’s seemingly endless stamina. The slower pace also allows him to look around a little more without having to worry about tripping again.</p>
<p>The castle with the wisps is far behind them now, and while part of Terra still thinks he should have gone in, the other parts of him are thankful they didn’t. Just being in the Realm of Darkness was already too much for him to handle. Exploring a dead castle from a fallen world certainly would have pushed him beyond his limits. That being said, the rest of the Realm of Darkness outside of the ruins are certainly something just as terrifying, in and of themselves.</p>
<p>Around them rises stony outcrops and walls, the rock smooth and flat. Almost every single smooth surface is covered in pigments. Handprints litter the rock walls in some kind of order Terra doesn’t know. Paintings of what looks like people with spears hunting animals are placed between walls of handprints, each animal looking fiercer than the last. Deer, moose, horses, wolves, bears. In the darkness, everything looks far more sinister than it actually is. The dark pigments look nearly like pitch against silver-blue stained stone. One particular print on one of the walls looks like a monster left it, with claw marks and what looks like paw pads sitting front and centre in the midst of hundreds of other handprints.</p>
<p>Something scratches against the stone, and Terra would be lying if he said he didn’t jump a foot into the air. When he looks, there seems to be nothing there. Just another wall filled with handprints and men hunting buffalo. Kairi looks from him to where he’s staring, but she’s quick to move on when he does. Whether he imagined the sound or not, Terra doesn’t want to linger too long in the same area.</p>
<p>Rock walls soon give out into open fields. A mountain rises into the void of the sky in the distance, and in the middle of the fields sit a large, run down hut and a toppled silo. Everything is awash in blue and purple and grey, but thanks to the nature of the fields before them, Terra can see things moving through the fields. It’s hard to make out what they are, but just seeing them makes the hair on his arms and the back of his neck stand on end. Whatever they are, they’re denizens of the darkness. Not something to be trifled with.</p>
<p>As they all slow to a stop, Terra can hear Riku mumble “A Dark Hide, and several Neoshadows.” He tries to look more closely at them, but from this distance, it’s hard to make anything out. There’s one particularly large shape wandering near the large hut, visible only through the lighter coloured tail, eyes, and appendages, but the rest move in an incomprehensible mass. Their dark bodies swallow what little light shines in this realm, and it swallows the colours of the backgrounds they pass over.</p>
<p>“This is a large pack, even for them.” Riku mentions, and Mickey nods his agreement. Axel crosses his arms and cocks his hip, while Kairi scratches at her chin in thought. Terra can’t seem to take his eyes off of the wandering denizens. It looks like they’re searching for something. He can’t be sure, but the way the outline of the big one moves, Terra is certain that it’s trying to pick up a scent, or maybe digging in the top layer of soil on the fields. The masses of the smaller denizens seem to follow it loosely, shifting and ebbing around the hut and silo like a patch of moving mold. Terra’s heart nearly stops when the big one lifts its head up and turns towards them. Pinpricks of yellow stare at him while he stares back.</p>
<p>“There’s too many of them to fight, even with our numbers,” Axel murmurs. “We’d be better off finding a different route.”</p>
<p>“The problem is, this is the fastest route to the spot where we know Aqua was last.” Mickey pipes up.</p>
<p>“Well, if we can’t go through, why don’t we go around them?” Kairi suggests, and Riku makes a hum of dismissal.</p>
<p>“There’s too many trees at the edges of the valley. It’s too dark for us to safely make our way through. Who knows what kind of Heartless might be in there.”</p>
<p>The denizen of darkness finally looks away and continues what it was doing before, and Terra lets out a long, shaking breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding in.</p>
<p>“What if we flew over? It’s not like these Heartless can fly, right? We go high enough, and we’ll be able to soar right past them.”</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah! We could use our Gliders for that!”</p>
<p>Riku and Mickey make a simultaneous noise of confusion, and Terra finally snaps out of his trance when Kairi grabs hold of his arm.</p>
<p>“Do you think you could carry one of them with you on your Glider?”</p>
<p>“Y-Yeah… I-I could probably fit one more person on the back of mine.”</p>
<p>Kairi pumps a fist in her excitement, but taking a glance between their party and the denizens of darkness in the fields, Terra speaks up again.</p>
<p>“If we’re… Avoiding <em>that</em>, then we’ll have to be fast. Our Keyblades will make light when we summon our Gliders… Something tells me they won’t be too fond of that.”</p>
<p>“Well, mine’s pretty much a one-seater until I can figure out how to fly it without both hands,” Axel drones, and turns to face them. “So you two are going to have to do all the heavy lifting with yours.”</p>
<p>Immediately Kairi raises her hand, bouncing up onto the balls of her feet. “I can take Riku with me! I have enough room on the footrests for an extra set of feet.”</p>
<p>“Then I guess I’ll take Mickey.”</p>
<p>“Gee, fellas,” Mickey starts, rubbing the back of his neck. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p>
<p>“What is a glider?”</p>
<p>Before either Axel or himself explains what it is, Kairi steps forwards, one hand outstretched to Riku.</p>
<p>“Do you trust me?”</p>
<p>Riku’s answer is immediate. He takes her hand with his free one and nods, uttering a strong “I trust you” to her. Kairi looks down at Mickey, and she asks him the same question. Mickey’s answer is less immediate than Riku’s, but nevertheless it’s still the same. Kairi nods at the two of them and looks up at Axel and then at Terra.</p>
<p>“We’ll have to do it all at the same time if we don’t want to get caught.” Her voice takes on a particularly lighthearted and mischief tone when she looks at Axel. “I hope you’ve gotten better at summoning your Glider.”</p>
<p>“For your information,” Axel good-naturedly huffs. “I happened to summon mine before you summoned yours, so therefore, I must be better at summoning mine than you are at summoning yours.” He lifts one hand to tap at his forehead. “Got it memorized?”</p>
<p>Kairi just sticks her tongue out at Axel, who in turn sticks his out back at her. Terra ignores them and turns his attention to Mickey. When he beckons to him, the little mouse walks over to stand next to him. </p>
<p>“We’ll have to do this quickly and coordinated,” he says. Riku, Kairi, and Axel all turn to face him. His legs feel a little bit like gelatin. “We summon our Gliders at the same time. Riku, Mickey, you’ll have to jump onto the backs of our Gliders the moment we’re on them.”</p>
<p>“Even after it’s summoned, my Glider’s pretty bright,” Axel says. “I can lure them away and lose them if they give us any problems.”</p>
<p>Terra nods at him, and Axel nods back. “Don’t do anything dangerous.”</p>
<p>“Danger’s my middle name.”</p>
<p>“It’s Evan, actually.” Kairi interrupts. Axel swats at her halfheartedly. Terra takes a deep breath, and with his one hand still gripping his Wayfinder, he readies Ends of the Earth in his other.</p>
<p>“We do it quickly, we do it safely, and we stick together.”</p>
<p>For Aqua.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>do you ever realize while youre writing that youre writing a very specific character that you never thought in a million years that youd write? cause it just occurred to me that im writing michael j fucking mouse, and that for whatever reason really fucks with my head a lil bit. therell be more realm of darkness in the next chapter i think, and then i think the chapter after that we'll be done with it??? dont take my word for it though, im full of shit LMAO.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. A Taste of Life in Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>If Terra had been frightened of entering the Realm of Darkness before, then he sure as shit doesn't know how to describe just how terrifying being in the Realm of Darkness truly is.</p>
<p>Heartless are fast and fierce.</p>
<p>They fight hard and they fight to kill.</p>
<p>Terra's never seen so many of them like this before. Sure he'd defeated the odd few during his time training, but never in these numbers, and never had they ever been so strong in the Realm of Light.</p>
<p>The true miracle of the day is the fact that he hasn't already shit his pants, he thinks.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i had so much fun with this chapter, i was howling with laughter almost the entire time i was writing it. i feel so bad for what ive done to them, but like, i also dont feel bad at all. this was, again, going to have more to it, but it seemed like it was enough excitement for one day tbh. or at least for one chapter. so i dont know how long the realm of darkness arc is really gonna take now. im full of shit, what can i say? i hope y'all enjoy this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Axel! 7’o’clock!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shrieks Axel makes would have been funnier in any situation. The high-pitched howl that turns into a gurgling squeak tickles something just right in him that makes him want to laugh. Even as huge jaws snap shut a foot away from Axel’s leg, something about the shriek makes Terra want to laugh. Though the thoughts of ‘what if’ keep him from laughing, especially as the denizen- Heartless, the others had called them- descends back to the ground from where it leapt. Axel was only in one piece because of a frantic swerve to the right and down. Terra watches as Axel ascends back to their altitude once more, and Axel casts him a horrified look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you see how high that thing can jump?!? How the hell are we supposed to outrun it?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just keep swerving!” Riku shouts from somewhere ahead of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you <em>think</em> I’m doing?!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel had warned them about how bright his Glider was, but Terra had no idea that the faster Axel went, the brighter his Glider got. He was a beacon in this lightless world, and that was really proving to be a curse for all of them. Ahead of him, Terra can make out the golden glow of light bouncing off of Kairi’s Glider, glittering for all to see. Riku’s hair practically shone bronze in the darkness. And his own Glider was rather reflective itself, light bouncing off of the edges and curves. Just from how his Glider was built, Axel was forced to hang off of the bottom. Hanging off of his Glider with both his hands and legs for support like that, Terra could already see the Heartless below them finally jumping just high enough to snap Axel right off of his Glider.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Incoming!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra immediately swerves up when Mickey shouts, and he catches Axel in the corner of his eye as he swerves to the left. Once again, massive jaws snap right where they used to be before the Heartless sinks to the ground once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t keep this up forever!” Kairi hollers back at them. “It’ll just keep jumping until it catches one of us!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra! Don’t these things have weapons?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know! Aqua’s does, and so did Master Eraqus’, but mine doesn’t! You’re supposed to figure that out on your own!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You couldn’t have mentioned that <em>before</em> we did this?!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I <em>couldn’t</em> tell you because Master Yen Sid found us before I could think of it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fire! Watch out!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi’s call gave the both of them just enough time to swerve again. This time an enormous wall of fire rips past them, ascending higher and higher and higher into the sky before it finally peters out. Kairi shouts again when they return to their formations.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t there anything we can do to get this thing off our backs?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mickey! You have more maneuverability than I do! Can you cast any magic at it!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll give it a shot!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can feel one of Mickey’s hands leave the spot where he’d originally grabbed onto Terra’s coat while the other hand tightens on the leather. Terra can feel the weight shift on his Glider as Mickey shuffles around, and he tries to keep his path as steady as possible. There’s a brief moment where nothing seems to happen while they speed high over the fields, before Axel shouts again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Watch out!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Blackout!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A thunderous sounding roar echoes from somewhere behind them, and Terra instinctively swerves. Mickey’s grip tightens onto his coat, clinging as if Terra were a lifeline, before slowly easing his grip. Terra rejoins the others as Kairi does, flying just a few feet behind her. There’s a crack that manages to make itself heard above the sound of the wind whipping past them, and Terra can only assume that the Heartless had fallen the wrong way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you get it?!” Axel all but screams to Terra’s left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I got it!” Mickey shouts. Riku turns his head back just enough to look at them, while Kairi struggles to hold their balance steady.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it still after us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Globs at 3’o’clock!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra manages to shoot off in a different direction as dark, shadowy orbs race past. Kairi yelps, and so does Riku. When Terra looks back to check on them, Kairi’s holding the handles of her Glider in one hand while the other drags Riku back up into position where his foot had slipped off the edge of the Glider’s foot rests. Axel howls from somewhere to their right, and Terra whips his head around to search for him. Terra’s stomach leaps up into his throat at the sight of Axel clinging onto his Glider with only one hand and the toe of one of his boots.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not to panic or anything, but I’ve been hit!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can barely take a breath before something nails the tailend of his Glider and tilts it forwards a substantial amount. Kairi shrieks as Riku loses his footing once more, and Terra watches as time slows around him. His hands lose their grip on the handles and Terra tumbles forwards over the front of his Glider, while Mickey clings hopelessly to the back of his coat. Somewhere to his right, the intense brightness of Axel’s Glider goes out, and Terra starts a breakneck plummet towards the ground after him, Mickey still holding onto him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though the momentum throws him in a few midair loops, Terra rights himself out quickly enough and throws his right hand out. Ends of the Earth reappears in his palm in a flash, and using all of his might Terra throws it downwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ends of the Earth zips past Axel, who’s also managed to right himself midair, and just as it turns from blade into Glider, Axel lands heavily chest first onto the back of the Glider. Terra somehow manages to move his feet underneath him and lands on the saddle of his Glider with barely a wobble, Mickey still fastened to his coat. One hand leaves the back of his coat once more, and Terra can feel his Glider dip and shift beneath him as Axel half scrambles and is half dragged up onto the very edge of the saddle just behind Mickey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel howls again, and Terra can almost feel the teeth of the Heartless sink into the steel of his Glider’s left stirrup. His whole Glider jerks to the left and it’s a damn miracle that Terra manages to hold onto his Glider properly this time. And that’s definitely not mentioning how both Axel and Mickey have grabbed hold of him and his Glider for dear life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two people were already pushing the weight limit of his Glider, and three is borderline too heavy. With the added weight of a massive Heartless clamped to his Glider by its teeth, the three of them begin a quick descent to the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Watch out!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Above you!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a blur of colour and motion, both Riku and Kairi plummet from on high, Keyblades drawn and full of electricity. Light explodes from both Kairi and Riku and from the Heartless. The denizen doesn’t let go, but it does howl in rage and pain as it’s whole body convulses. It doesn’t seem to last long enough, as the Heartless swings its enormous paws up to swipe all of them. Kairi slides down the Heartless’ body far enough that the swipe misses her, and both himself and Mickey are far enough forwards on the Glider to evade the claws. Riku is knocked aside by the paw, and Axel barks in agony as a claw or two to strike him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Riku!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi doesn’t get to say much more as the Heartless thrashes its body around like a ragdoll. For a brief moment, Kairi disappears off of the side of the great beast. She reappears, falling through the air as all three of them are knocked off of Terra’s Glider once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The added weight of both Mickey and Axel makes it way too difficult for Terra to right himself again, and the farther they fall, the more it feels like all of Terra’s organs are trying to escape up his throat and out of his mouth. Somewhere, Kairi shouts Riku’s name, but spinning as they are, Terra can’t make them out. Mickey squirms and shuffles against Terra’s back before Mickey’s weight disappears. It’s just barely enough for Terra to right himself and Axel mid air to face the ground and get a look at their status.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yards below them, Riku is sailing limp through the air, body tumbling and turning as the force of gravity swings his body and limbs in different directions. Kairi is dive bombing after him, Keyblade gone with her arms outstretched towards him. He can’t pinpoint where Mickey’s gone. He must be falling downwards from somewhere higher up. The ground races up to meet them with every passing second, and Terra reacts instinctively.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aeroza!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wind that pelts them feels like it increases tenfold, but thankfully it slows their descent exponentially.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though their descent is slower, they’re still falling. Though Kairi has managed to grab onto Riku’s unconscious body, the momentum of all of Riku’s spinning has thrown her off balance. Axel is still holding onto Terra, but he seems to be frozen solid, his hands wrapped tight around Terra’s shoulder and torso. Thought leaves Terra’s mind as panic seizes him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Zero Graviza!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All momentum in all directions stops so suddenly that it winds him. He chokes and coughs and wheezes, trying to catch his breath while Axel finally lets go of him. Through tears that start to well up from the sudden halt, Terra can see both Kairi and Riku are no worse for wear, hovering suspended maybe a few dozen yards above the fields. The massive Heartless roars somewhere beneath them, and it only takes a little bit of twisting to see that it’s been storming around blind for a while, crashing through the tall grasses and ramming into trees. The swarm of smaller Heartless bumble about, trying to save their own skins as the bigger one rampages.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Small hands touch his shoulder, and when Terra turns to look, it’s Mickey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have to get out of here while the Heartless is still blind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That Dark Hide got me good,” Axel pipes up. His voice is course and shaking, and it’s only once they’ve stopped their deadly descent that Terra can smell the blood coming off of him. “I don’t know how well I’ll be able to fly my Glider with a torn up leg.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-we’ll switch out,” Terra begins, not at all surprised that his voice trembles. “Mickey, you go with Kairi. I can take Riku and Axel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mickey immediately starts swimming his way through Zero Gravity, propelling himself downwards toward Riku and Kairi. Terra is quick to call Ends of the Earth to his hand again, and he wastes no time in summoning up his Glider. He has no problems pulling himself onto the Glider, and Axel grabs at the back of his coat again, dragging himself down until Terra can feel him against his back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time Terra flies his Glider down to where Mickey had gone, Kairi has already summoned her Glider. Axel lets go of his back for only a moment while Mickey and Kairi shuffle Riku’s body between the two of them, sitting astride the Glider. Axel then wraps his arms back around Terra, his hands gripping tight to the leather. Riku is practically sandwiched between them, his head resting against one of Terra’s shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Riku retrieved, Mickey wraps his arms around Kairi’s shoulders as she gets onto her own Glider. Beneath them the Heartless screams in frustration and rage. It rips up a tree with its jaws and throws it blindly, crushing several of the smaller Heartless with it’s fury. That’s more than enough for Terra. With a quick twist of his wrists, he takes off in the original direction they’d all initially set out for. Kairi flies her Glider up beside him, and as they slowly ascend back into the sky, the panic that had once clouded Terra’s head and shoved his guts up his throat starts to release him. It’s only when the howls and roars of the Heartless starts to fade behind them that Terra truly feels the panic leave him, allowing his body to let go bits of tension he’d worked himself up into.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mickey! We need a place to rest!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The little mouse still clinging to Kairi’s shoulders nods, and being incredibly careful with one of his hands, he points forwards somewhere in the distance. Terra follows his finger and looks out at the area he motioned to. It’s a little hard to make out distinct shapes in the darkness, but Terra can sort of see what looks like a forest of huge stone tendrils rising up out of the land, and water just beyond it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Over there! We can stop under the columns there! When we’re ready, our destination is just a hop, a skip, and a jump away!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra glances at Kairi, who nods to him. He nods back. And together they soar onwards, off towards the ominous, reaching stones before the water.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so fun fact. every so often while im writing, i do a little trick a friend of mine taught me. he said that while youre writing, you roll some polyhedral dice to see how something might play out. its supposed to make the writing feel more real or write more naturally? i forget the specifics but its always a really interesting experience when i do it. now i havent done that in a while. i think the last time i did that was when i wrote that chapter where riku and mickey were fighting xigbar for terras corpse. thats why xigbar got so fucked up, cause mickey just kept rolling high numbers. that being said, all good things come to an end. so i picked up my dice again today, and with six dice for these lads, i rolled to my hearts content and got to write them all getting absolutely fucked up by a high rolling dark hide. ive never had that much fun in my life LMAO. anyways, i hope yall enjoyed it</p>
<p>and before i forget, the three worlds i included in the last chapter were brave, brother bear, and the good dinosaur lmao. i might use home on the range later for something. probably LMAO</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Snarling Voices</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He's heard this voice before. He knows he has. It sounds so familiar, the cadence, the timbre, the dialect. But it sounds different from every other voice he's ever heard. He tries hard to place a face and a name to the voice, but everything is jumbled and comes back hazy and confusing. He doesn't have time to decipher it, not with Aqua still lost, but the thought of it makes him uneasy. Something is wrong, he knows it is. If only he had the time to find out what it is.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was planning this to be just one chapter but then i just kept writing and writing and it never fucking stopped so i chopped it in half so i could keep going on the other half. theres going to be one more chapter of realm of darkness. for sure this time. i think. im still full of shit</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Behind him, Axel sucks a sharp breath in through his teeth, while Kairi squeaks a soft apology. Terra doesn’t dare turn back to look at them, not when they’re still in the Realm of Darkness. The Heartless they encountered before was strong, quick, and extremely dangerous. And that was just the one on its own. The smaller Heartless were practically harmless, given that none of them ever actually touched the ground, but if they were caught unaware by a group of small Heartless or a single large Heartless, it could be game over for them in a heartbeat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Axel hisses, and Kairi only gets about halfway through her apology before Axel shushes her again. Terra tries to ignore their soft conversation as he keeps watch. He’s pulled his hood down, letting him see farther in his peripherals, and he constantly turns his head, searching the shadows for whatever may lurk within them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the base of one of the large, tendril-esque stone columns, Terra could barely see farther than a dozen yards. In the thick of this strange stone forest that rose high into the skies above them, sight was limited and light was incredibly scarce. The ambient illumination from the sky certainly couldn’t reach to the sand below them in certain spots, and where it did reach the ground, it did very little to illuminate the shadows all around them. Eyes peeled and ears open, Terra stands guard as Kairi and Mickey tend to Axel and Riku.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku hasn’t woken up yet. Mickey assures him that Riku’s just unconscious, but something dark and twisted writhes in Terra’s gut. It whispers to him that Riku wouldn’t be waking up. That he wouldn’t wake up ever again. It couldn’t be true, he keeps telling himself. Terra had fallen into darkness and the various parts of him had slumbered for over ten years before he finally woke. Ventus is still out there, sleeping somewhere, and once they find Aqua, he too will wake. Riku was a Keyblade Master for Light’s sake. A hard bonk on the head surely couldn’t keep him asleep forever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That dark and twisted something coils around his heart and shows him the memory of Eraqus once more, body going slack and eyes rolling back in his head. He’d been a Keyblade Master, too, and all it took was one strike to the back to keep him from ever being able to wake up ever again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra shakes his head, as if the motion would dislodge such thoughts and memories from his mind, and he refocuses back on his surroundings. The world around them is eerily silent. Nothing lives in the darkness except for the Heartless it seems, and it sounds like none of them are fond of traversing this part of the darkness themselves. Not even a breeze stirs around them. All Terra can pick up is the sound of Axel’s half hearted complaints, Kairi’s half hearted scolding, and Mickey shuffling around with bottles and fabric. Nothing slinks around in the grey sand, nor does anything wind its way around the midnight stone columns. It’s just them in this place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yet Terra can’t shake the feeling that he’s being watched.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something about this place, something about the seclusion and the silence drives him up the wall. His heart races in his chest- it’s never stopped racing since the moment they got here- and his palms are cool and clammy. Even in the leather on his left and the heavy metal and fabric on the right, they feel cool and sticky. The hairs on the back of his neck feel like they haven’t laid flat for quite some time, and sometimes, when his friends are quiet enough, he feels like he hears voices. It’s always the same tired, rough, and hateful voice he heard back near the castle ruins, and it always seems to say things that only Terra knows. Or at least, he thinks he’s hearing a voice. Any time he listens to the others, none of them make any indication that they can hear the voice at all. As far as he knows, he could just be losing his marbles in the Realm of Darkness. He’s no philosopher, nor is he really an academic, but just through his previous experiences using the darkness, it wouldn’t be too far off the mark as a guess. The darkness just seems to seep into one’s soul, body, and mind, rotting it slowly from the inside out, unnoticed until it’s too late.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If only you knew…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glances around once more, searching for the source of the voice. When he can’t spot anyone or anything who could have spoken, Terra shuffles in place. In an attempt to soothe any fears before they take root, he reaches his hand into his pocket and thumbs at the edges of his Wayfinder. It’s cool and smooth to the touch, with only a slight bump in the wire and glass where gold mends the crack it once had. It does nothing for his racing heart, but it’s comforting enough to have it. It keeps him focused, keeps him on track, keeps him from breaking down under the weight of his fears that even now push on his heart and mind. He can’t give up now. He has to keep going. For Aqua.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sand shifts behind him, and it’s through the sheer strength and power of his will alone that he keeps himself from hurling his Keyblade backwards. Instead, he turns his head to peer over his shoulder. It’s Riku, finally waking up, sitting up from where they had laid him out on the ground. Despite looking a little lost and confused, he looks no worse for wear, and the dark and twisted something that had been taunting him earlier about another premature death of a Keyblade Master shrivels inside his head. Riku was fine, and once Axel was finally patched up, they could get a move on to where they last sensed Aqua.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something on the stone scratches and grinds, and Terra whips his head back around. There’s nothing in front of him. He scours the area before him with his eyes, searching for any moving shadow, any pinprick of yellow, and new footprints. Before him is nothing. Even pacing around the edge of where he and his friends have stopped to regroup bares no fruit. There’s nothing here but them, the stones, and the sand. Everything is where it should be. And it only serves to freak Terra out even more. He had heard the scratching and grinding, hadn’t he? He could have sworn he heard it. Though perhaps it’s another trick of the darkness and the adrenaline pumping through his veins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tears his eyes away from their surroundings to look back at Riku. He’s rubbing at his head, and he’s blinking a little slowly, but he seems just fine. Casting another look around, Terra slowly makes his way over to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” Riku asks him when he gets close enough. Terra snorts softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should be asking you that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A little dizzy… But I’m okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a brief moment, Riku looks around at their surroundings, almost like he’s never seen them before, or perhaps like he hasn’t seen them in a very long time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s Kairi and Axel?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right behind you, chief.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel yelps the second after, and Kairi huffs at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be so dramatic about it. I’ve been wrapping your leg for a full minute now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Axel whines. “But it hurts! Don’t you know how to treat a patient gently?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel whines a soft “Ow” when Kairi playfully punches his shoulder. Beside him, Riku seems to deflate in relief, though he isn’t spared from his own kind of rough love when Mickey knocks him very lightly on the head with a potion bottle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’d better drink this before we get going. Who knows what we might run into on that beach.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though rubbing at his scalp, Riku nods and accepts the offered bottle from Mickey. As he uncorks it and starts drinking, Mickey turns to him, and Terra almost straightens up like he used to in front of Master Eraqus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you feeling, Terra? Any aches or pains? Cuts, scrapes, or bruises? We don’t want to go walking into the open without feeling our best.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra takes a quick moment to check himself over, patting himself down and moving each important joint slowly. When everything comes back clean, Terra shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unless you have something on you that’s good for a racing heart, I think I’ll be okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gee, sorry pal. All I’ve got are potions, elixirs, and a few Kupo Coins.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra waves dismissively, ignoring how his hands are still shaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine. The sooner we find Aqua, the sooner we can get out of here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mickey walks right up to Terra, and for a moment he’s absolutely baffled by how small the mouse is. Granted, being an anthropomorphized mouse, he’s a fair deal taller than the animals he shares a name with on the Land of Departure, but he’s still far far shorter than he himself is. Still, Mickey reaches up and takes one of Terra’s hands, ignoring the height difference between them as he looks up at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re being very brave, Terra. Gosh, without you, we wouldn’t have made it through those fields back there. Thank you for coming with us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can feel the blood rushing into his face at his words, and the hand that isn’t in Mickey’s goes to the back of his head to scratch awkwardly at his neck, just beneath his braid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I just… I want to help Aqua. Any way I can. Even if it means coming here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we’re almost at the beach where we last tracked Aqua to. With any luck, it’ll be a breeze finding her with you here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Terra mumbles. “I hope so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Mickey! Terra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nearly jumps out of his skin. He looks up at Axel, who’s finally on his feet and leaning on his Keyblade. The left leg of his pants are cleanly torn, exposing clean bandage work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You two ready to go?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nods, and Mickey intones an affirmative. Riku climbs to his feet beside them, and though his initial movement is a little wobbly, he finds his balance in no time. Riku looks around at his surroundings again, and Terra does the same. There still isn’t anything in the area. No strange sounds, no shifting shadows, no pinpricks of yellow. They’re still alone. Terra can’t decide if that makes him feel better or worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All right, it’s this way.” Riku says. Terra turns to watch him set off, with Kairi and Axel on his heels. He follows them, with Mickey jogging off to walk at Riku’s side. It leaves Terra alone at the back of the pack, but he doesn’t mind it as much as he first thought he would. Being at the back, without anyone actively engaging him, lets him examine their surroundings while they walk. Stone columns reach upwards into the near lightless sky for what feels like miles. The blue-grey stones cast immense shadows, almost as dark as the void. Terra briefly wonders how such stones were created. Were they the products of Heartless erecting them? Or were they the product of nature, created through natural forces? It doesn’t seem like the Heartless could have done such a thing, not with how base and instinct driven they are. But nature isn’t a promising candidate either, no matter how seamless and smooth the stone is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The darkness corrodes everything in this realm. Nothing is exempt. Not even stone.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra falters and casts his eyes around warily. Again, he sees nothing that could have produced the voice. Not a Heartless or another lost soul in sight. Briefly he wonders if a passing breeze is rubbing against stone in just the right way to make him think that someone is speaking to him. But there is no breeze, not here. Everything is still and silent, save for the sound of his footprints and the quiet words of his friends. When nothing jumps out at him, Terra hurries to catch back up, stuffing his hands in his pockets once more. His Wayfinder greets his hand, and he thumbs at it once more in an attempt to soothe his fraying nerves. It doesn’t work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, the enormous stone columns start to thin out. The sounds of quiet, lapping waves come into focus. The ambient light soon gets brighter, slowly yet surely able to find its way to the ground as the stone columns begin to thin and end. Beyond the group in front of him, Terra can see a beach come into view.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are a few boulders scattered about on the beach, all of them smooth and a dark grey. Some of them have veins of blue stretching across them, and the veins glow as if there’s liquid blue fire pulsing within them. The sand is a soft, pale grey, looking almost like ashes beneath their feet. And where the sand meets water, it looks like an inky, sooty mess. Rising out of the water are more enormous stone columns, though they are fewer and farther between than the forest of them they were just leaving. The water itself looks like pen ink as it moves and glitters in the ambient light. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The water has an incredibly strong feeling of darkness to it, stronger than the Realm of Darkness itself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’d been difficult to notice it before when he had first stepped into the Realm of Darkness, but Terra was almost certain of it later when he’d pulled down his hood that the black coat really wasn’t for show. Instinctively, Terra draws the hood up over his head, tucking his braid into the back. The feeling of darkness lessens, feels less overpowering, but it’s still there, still washing over them. Riku casts a glance back at him, followed soon by the others. They no doubt noticed the increase in strength of the darkness just as he did. In an attempt to soothe any fears or worries they have, Terra raises one hand from his pocket and gives them a thumbs up. For the most part it works, though Riku’s eyes linger on him for a little bit longer than the others.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they walk farther out onto the beach, Terra continues to thumb at the Wayfinder in his pocket. His heart feels strange as they walk. It’s still beating fast, Terra knows that, but something about it feels as if every few beats is off. Almost like the beats are disconnected, out of tune and stuttering. His free hand slides past his hood, and Terra feels at his pulse with two fingers. It beats the same, though the feeling of disconnect isn’t there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Another one is here… Why won’t you just leave me alone?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The voice echoes in his head again, the same rough, tired, and ever so hateful voice he’s been hearing since the castle ruins. Terra can’t pinpoint where it’s coming from, but it’s stronger than the last few times it’s spoken to him. He slows, and as the others continue on, he looks around once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The beach is empty and desolate. The air is still and stale. Nothing moves in the shadows. There’s no pinpricks of yellow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the feeling of being watched grows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra! Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He flinches and looks back at the group. They’ve all stopped and have turned towards him. Kairi looks the most concerned of them all, one hand hovering over her heart while the other grips at her Keyblade. Terra forces himself to move, to jog and catch up to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-Yeah, I’m all right. I just… Thought I heard something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t seem to soothe her at all, but she nods anyways, and the group turns back to keep walking. Terra makes sure to stay close this time. He watches for any sign of movements, for signs of danger. Nothing jumps out at them. It’s still so quiet and barren, so desolate of life. It makes his heart squeeze in a weird way, a way he really can’t describe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Go away. I don’t want to see you. Not again.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even as the voice echoes in his head, Terra presses on, his eyes darting around for any kind of sign that someone else is here. For a sign that he isn’t slowly losing his mind in this darkness. It doesn’t come.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Just leave me alone, so I can rot in peace.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something snaps inside him, clicks into place. Terra stops again and looks out at the water, where the darkness feels strongest. He’s close enough this time for the others to stop beside him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” Axel asks, shuffling his weight around from his legs to his Keyblade and back again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra doesn’t answer him, and instead stares out at the water. He thumbs at his Wayfinder, traces the pad of his finger over the gold seam. His heart stops for only a moment, but when it resumes its beating, the disconnect is stronger. It feels colder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did… Did any of you hear that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hear what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mickey’s words don’t comfort him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Go away.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Subconsciously, Terra turns and takes a step towards the water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t want to look at you again.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The voice gets stronger. He takes another step.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t want to see you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something in his heart aches like he’s been struck, but he still walks forwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Leave me alone.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra stops only when his boots touch the water’s edge, the farthest reaching point the waves can lap at the shore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s hesitance in Riku’s voice, almost as if he knows something is seriously wrong. He can’t describe it. He can’t describe the feeling that standing at this shore brings him. He grips his Wayfinder in his pocket, feels the points dig into his skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this… Is this where you last tracked her to?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a little bit further down the beach that her trail went cold,” Mickey says. “Why? Do you sense her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra closes his eyes, and his heart calls out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said, <em>LEAVE ME ALONE!</em>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the realm of darkness is such a neat place, its a shame that we dont get to see more of it. at least it gives me a chance to do what i want with it, instead of it being a fixed set of facts. im just happy to be fucking around with it.</p>
<p>hopefully, if all goes well, ill post another chapter tonight. if not, it'll definitely be there tomorrow lol. i hope y'all enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. A Miracle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It can't end like this.</p>
<p>Not like this.</p>
<p>He promised he would set things straight one day.</p>
<p>He swore to himself, with the last remaining vestiges of his consciousness, that he would set things right.</p>
<p>He would rescue Aqua.</p>
<p>He would find Ventus.</p>
<p>He would beat Xehanort into a red, bloody pulp.</p>
<p>But it can't happen if he fails her. It can't happen if he's beat here. It can't happen if he sinks into the darkness.</p>
<p>It can't end like this.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmaoooo what did i tell ya! second chapter of the day! i am cold, i am sore, and i am tired and hungry. im posting this chapter, going upstairs to devour the whole fridge, and then going to bed. but im glad i was able to power through this chapter. you have no idea how many wild dice rolls i made writing this LMAO</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Terra almost doesn’t make the dodge when something explodes out of the water and lunges at him. He rolls out of the way, Ends of the Earth immediately in his hands. Somewhere nearby he hears Riku and Mickey shout orders, and Axel yelps. He looks over his shoulders at them. Mickey and Riku have been knocked away, though both Axel and Kairi are standing firm out of range.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darkness, thick and black and coiling, rears up from where it’s landed on the beach just a few yards away. It writhes and shudders, glowing yellow eyes speckling it and shifting violently throughout the mass.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Demon Tide!” Riku shouts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The huge, spiralling mass suddenly shifts and lunges. Terra makes to roll out of the way, but the Demon Tide is faster. It bowls into him, knocking him off his feet and sweeping him up and away. Claws and hands and teeth scrape by him, some of them managing to tear through his hakama bottoms. Where they manage to cut skin stings something awful. Blind panic rips through him, and Terra instinctively starts swinging his Keyblade around, looking to hit whatever it is this thing is made of. The momentum shifts suddenly, and the Demon Tide spits him out. He lands in a heap, a whuff of breath escaping him. Axel hits the ground nearby, a choked yell punctuating the sound of him landing on his side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Freeze!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shimmering gold and silver arcs over their heads and connects with the Demon Tide. Ice explodes from where Kairi’s Keyblade strikes it, several parts of the Demon Tide freezing solid. The scream it makes feels earth shattering. Terra tries scrambling to his feet, with Axel doing the same to his left. The Demon Tide lunges in for another sweep, and though Axel makes it out of the way, Terra isn’t as lucky. This time, at least, the Demon Tide simply knocks him around until he’s flat on his back again. He can just make out the shouts and yelps of the others as the Demon Tide swarms them all, and when the Heartless has finally passed over him, Terra scrambles to his feet proper to take stock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku has been thrown backwards, his Keyblade gone, face down in the sand. Kairi lies beside him on her side, Keyblade still gripped tightly in her hands. Axel is helping them both up, dragging them both to their feet by their upper arms. Mickey is nowhere to be found. Dread pulses in his gut, and he turns around to face the Demon Tide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It stands tall before them, writhing and pulsing as a storm of dark energy starts to flood forth from the depths of the masses. The wind snaps at his clothes, but it’s not strong enough to drag him off of the sand. The dark energy grows stronger and stronger, until all at once it releases in a huge shockwave of power. The ground shudders beneath him as dark energy lashes at his black coat, and Terra has to shield his face from the force of it all. He can’t let it consume him, can’t let his own fear consume him. He can’t stop now. Not in the face of this, not when they’re so close to finding Aqua. When the shockwave subsides, Terra looks back up at the Demon Tide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t look quite like a Demon Tide anymore. Instead of the pulsing, writhing mass, a massive dark orb hangs in the air before them. In the depths of the blackness, streaks of blue and purple squirm. The streaks grow brighter and stronger, and Terra realizes too late that something’s about to come out of the orb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A blast of darkness strikes him, and it strikes him hard. Claws of some kind tear into his black coat, and a shoulder hits him so hard in the chest that he’s thrown off of his feet. Once again his breath leaves him in a heavy whuff, and it’s all Terra can do to choke and cough as he writhes in the sand, trying again to get back to his feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no you don’t!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra manages to get himself at least onto his hands and knees just in time to see Axel throw a burst of fire at the shadowy mass that had knocked Terra over. The mass dodges all too easily, leaping back towards the water. It grabs something off of the ground, and Terra’s blood runs cold when he realizes that it’s Star Cluster. The shadowy figure raises the Keyblade and shoots a solid mass of ice at Axel, to which Axel easily parries with another shot of fire.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The figure moves so quickly that Terra can barely keep his eyes on it. It lunges at Axel and swings Star Cluster down. Axel swings his Keyblade up just fast enough to block the blow, locking the shadowy figure in place. Terra rushes to his feet and starts running at the figure. Power surges up through his torso and into his arms. Ends of the Earth hums it’s staccato rhythm in his heart, and Terra leaps forwards at the shadowy figure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Axel! Move!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel responds in time, shoving with all his might on his Keyblade. The momentum throws the shadowy figure off for only a moment, but it’s long enough for Axel to leap out of Terra’s way. He swings Ends of the Earth downwards, aiming for the shadowy figure’s spine. He misses its spine when it dodges forwards, but as his Keyblade hits the ground, all of the power built up in his arms releases. Enormous boulders explode upwards out of the earth, striking its target from below and sending it flying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi screeches “Magnera!” and the shadowy figure is drawn towards her and Riku, to which Riku retaliates with a harsh shot of Dark Firaga. The ball of dark fire explodes on impact, and Magnera suddenly loses all effect as the figure crashes to the ground. For a brief moment, nothing happens as fire eats away at the shadowy figure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kairi! Behind you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nearly jumps out of his skin when Mickey shouts, but he doesn’t have the time to react. Kairi howls in pain, and she’s sent flying off into the shallows of the inky water. Where she once stood is the shadowy figure, darkness slowly beginning to slough off of its form. Riku shouts before the rest of them can.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kairi!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She breaks the surface of the water, coughing what little of it had gotten into her mouth and sputtering for breath. “I’m okay!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra barely realizes he’s charging the shadowy figure until he’s upon it, swinging his Keyblade in a Quick Blitz. The figure blocks his attack, though it staggers under the weight of his swing. Axel’s Keyblade comes soaring in from the side, cloaked in flames. It hits the figure right in the side. It’s strong enough to knock it out from underneath Terra’s Keyblade and onto its side, closer to the water where Kairi has already waded out of the water. Behind her, the water ripples and shifts unnaturally.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kairi!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, she turns fast enough to notice the creatures beginning to swarm to the surface. In the heartbeat she notices, Kairi also casts a powerful Blizzaga on the water’s surface. It freezes over immediately, trapping whatever denizens that were breaking for the surface, and Kairi follows it up immediately with a fierce Thundaga spell. The ice splinters and shatters under the force of the lightning, and several puffs of darkness well up from underneath the water’s surface. Now, Terra didn’t train her, not in the arts of spellcasting, and learning to fight again alongside her barely counted as teaching her anything. But all the same, warm and fuzzy pride filled his heart at the sight of her using advanced spells without a moment’s hesitance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi runs back to join them, away from the water and away from the figure, still lying on its side. It doesn’t shift when Kairi hops over it, nor does it move when whatever had been trying to break through the water earlier finally crawls up onto shore around it. Slowly, Terra realizes that these were the smaller Heartless that had accompanied the bigger one out on the fields. Covered in black skin with electric blue veins pulsing on their heads, arms, and torso, their beady yellow eyes watch them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra isn’t sure what he expects as these Heartless make their way up the shore towards them, but he sure as hell doesn’t expect them to stop right behind the shadowy figure on the ground. They stand there, antennae twitching and massive clawed hands flexing. Most of them watch himself and the others around him, their glowing yellow eyes trained on them. Others watch the figure, heads tilting back and forth, claws twitching towards it. One of them gets closer and, almost too gently for a Heartless, it wipes away some of the darkness remaining on the figure, exposing hair that fades from a brilliant white into a sickly blue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s incredibly thankful that he had gone to the bathroom long before entering the Realm of Darkness. Watching the red-tipped claws of the shadowy figure rip the Heartless apart with one hand like that surely would have made him shit himself. With the Heartless ripped into nothingness, the figure slowly pushes itself up onto one arm, and uses its free hand to tear and wipe away the remaining darkness. It’s a relatively quick process, but the more that the figure exposes from under the darkness, the colder Terra’s blood feels. By the time the figure is standing up and shaking the last bits of excess muck from her hair, Terra’s heart feels like it’s stopped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yellow eyes- yellow, not blue, not the deep oceanic blue they should be- focus in on him, and from this distance he can physically feel the hatred that seeps out of them. Everything is wrong, so terribly, terribly wrong. Hands too big, stained black, pointed red claws. Fabric torn and fraying, dyed a sooty black and grey. Steel scratched, dented, twisted. Mouth too big, teeth too sharp. Wing bones, made of blackened skin and ash. Everything is wrong. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you to leave me <em>alone</em>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s her!” Mickey shouts. Terra can’t move, not at the shout, and not when something lands heavy in the sand nearby. “It’s really her!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s Aqua?” Riku whispers, and he grunts when someone elbows him. Terra can’t move.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You, who abandoned me, left me alone to rot in this dark prison for ten whole years.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even as she starts walking forwards, Terra can’t move. The advancing Heartless inspire no motion to break free of his paralysis.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You, who I risked my own neck to save from the darkness threatening to consume you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku makes a sound almost akin to a whimper. Terra can’t move.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And <em>you</em>,” Aqua hisses, her eyes boring holes through his skull. “You, who I traded places with. You, who I sent back to the Realm of Light as I fell into darkness.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stops in front of him, and she almost seems to tower over him. She reeks of rot and death, of petrichor and festering water. Her mouth curls into a sneer that makes it feel like his heart is about to crack in half.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I gave my life for you, and you <em>left me here</em>. You ran about in the Realm of Light, and you did <em>nothing</em> to save me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yellow eyes stare into his, and for a brief moment, time slows down. Memories flash in his eyes. Xehanort complimenting his abilities. Xehanort telling him exactly what he had wanted to hear, and not what he had needed to hear. Xehanort offering him a change of masters from Eraqus to him. Xehanort beckoning him into using the darkness. Xehanort coaxing him into accepting the darkness as a part of him. Xehanort manipulating him, forcing him to fight Eraqus, striking Eraqus down, using Ventus, hurting Ventus, consuming his consciousness, possessing his body, <em>hurting Aqua</em>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yellow eyes narrow, and the fury within them grows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you know how lonely it is here? How frightening it is to have no one?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can’t move, can’t answer, can’t <em>breathe</em>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All that’s left in my heart is misery and despair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She leans in close, so close that her nose almost touches his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And now, <em>you can share it.</em>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Back off!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra flinches as Riku suddenly appears in his sight, Keyblade drawn and swinging. Aqua weaves back a stop and blocks the blow, stopping Riku in his tracks. He grunts in effort as they both push against one another.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Snap out of it, Terra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything rapidly comes back into focus as Riku shoves Aqua away. She leaps back a few times, landing on the surface of the water as if it were made of stone rather than ink, and she flicks Star Cluster out to the side. Riku charges after her, leaping over the line of Heartless and running out onto the water’s surface. All at once the Heartless move, rushing forwards as if they’re mimicking a fierce wave. Axel and Kairi run out from behind him to meet them head on, shouting spells and coordinating attacks. Mickey stands somewhere out of sight, casting spell after spell after spell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But all Terra can focus on is Aqua, engaging Riku in a violent battle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something snaps in him, and before he can think about it, Terra is charging out onto the water after them, Ends of the Earth raised and poised to strike. Aqua seems to notice him long before he reaches their battlefield, and she casted a Dark Blizzaga his way. Without thinking, Terra swings Ends of the Earth, his heart joining in on the staccato song it sings in his heart. Ice shatters under his blows, and still Terra keeps running. Riku lunges in, stealing Aqua’s attention away from him with a series of fast blows. Aqua blocks each of them with ease. It’s enough time for Terra to join the fray.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Electricity sparks and flies, crackling off of his body and his Keyblade as he charges. He slams into Aqua shoulder first, and electricity discharges from his body and through hers. It isn’t enough to topple her- it never has been- but in the split-second that she seizes under the force of the electricity, Terra follows up the attack with a brutal uppercut with Ends of the Earth. It knocks Aqua upwards into the air a few feet, and with the momentum still in his arms, Terra swings down. His Keyblade passes through shadows as Aqua disappears into darkness, and the swing over extends him. Aqua reappears to his left, and Terra barely has time between Riku’s shout and Aqua’s attack to look up at her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nails him in the gut with Star Cluster and tosses him away as if he were nothing but a rag doll. He hits the water hard, and splashes down beneath its surface. Immediately the darkness is clawing at him, squirming against his skin and trying to dig its way into any part of him unprotected by his black coat. Beneath the surface, Terra thrashes, trying his best to swim back up towards the ambient light above. He barely gets anywhere, moving only inches upwards as the darkness tries to drag him ever downwards. He swims faster, tries harder, and still the darkness drags at him. Fear threatens to overwhelm him as he sinks ever further.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rage and stubborn refusal overtake everything else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A feeling he hasn’t felt in so long fills his body with energy, and before he knows it, Terra is shooting up towards the surface. His breach isn’t the most graceful or beautiful one he’s ever done, but it gets him to the surface where he can claw himself out and back into battle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua comes flying at him off of a particularly nasty hit from Riku, and Terra wastes no time in dashing forwards at her. Again, he rams into her, this time his shoulder into her back, and she chokes as he flies forwards a few extra feet before throwing her away. Riku stares at him as if he’s grown a second head. Terra ignores it. He can worry about it later when they’re not currently locked in a battle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On her feet, Aqua tears past Riku in a burst of dark energy. Dark Haze. Terra knows that attack all too well, having used it in past battles himself. Power surges through him, and Terra uses an attack he knows is faster than Dark Haze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra’s never been good with teleportation magic, not even as a child with boundless energy reserves. They’ve always made him queasy or sick or dizzy. But using darkness along with it somehow makes it easier to digest, easier to handle. In and out of existence, Terra charges at Aqua, thrusting his Keyblade towards her. The first strike she dodges as she comes out of her attack, and the second she manages to block as Terra disappears and reappears in front of her. The third time Terra disappears and reappears, it’s behind her. He strikes her fast and hard from behind and disappears before she can retaliate. Again he reappears and strikes her, leaping back into darkness before she can get a bead on his location. She blocks his next strike, and falters on the next. On Terra’s final strike, he charges her head on. She’s able to swing Star Cluster fast enough to parry his strike, though he skids past her too quickly for her to land a blow on him. Terra turns back to face her just in time to see Riku unleash a series of strikes against her while she recoils, and as she does so, Terra rushes forwards again, this time aiming to strike her in the side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua blocks one of Riku’s strikes, and pivots before kicking him out of her way. He lands heavy on the water’s surface, arms dipping below the surface, but Terra pays it no mind. He aims to hit her with a Binding Strike, something to keep her in place long enough for them to get a few good hits in. But just as Terra had done before, Aqua disappears into the darkness, and Terra’s swing misses. Terra turns hard, trying to reposition and rebalance himself before she reappears. He’s too slow to move. She reappears to his side and attacks him. His body freezes, beyond his control, and he can only sit and suffer as she rains blow after blow after blow down on him. In the corner of his eye, Terra can see Riku thrusting his Keyblade forwards in what must be a Sonic Blade. Aqua must see the way his iris twitches, as she immediately finishes off her combo by undoing the Stop spell and casting a Mine Shield directly around her. Terra has no time to warn Riku.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Riku charges headfirst into an explosion, Aqua strikes Terra on the back, directly between his shoulder blades at the base of his neck. His vision blacks out and his whole body topples forwards. Pain blasts through him as one of the mines is set off beneath him, and he tumbles to the ground in the shallows of the water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All at once his energy seems to leave him, seeping out of his body and into the freezing water that laps and splashes at him. He struggles to push himself to his hands and his knees, and finds that his whole body is shaking from the effort and the pain. She’d dealt quite the series of blows to him during that Stop spell, but only with his ability to move restored does he feel it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something heavy lands near him, and trying to blink away the darkness clouding his eyes, Terra weakly calls out. Axel responds with a heavy grunt and a shout. Next to him is frantic shuffling, and Kairi shouts back, her footsteps charging off back into battle. Shaking his hand clean of water and sand, Terra rubs at his eyes, blinking rapidly in hopes of clearing them of whatever has blinded them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra! Esuna!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra jumps at Mickey’s sudden shout, and as if by magic, his eyesight slowly fades back in, first inky and blurry, then hazy, then clear. He looks up and finds Mickey not far off, a wall of fire blocking them from the Heartless on the other side. Both Axel and Kairi are beyond the wall, fighting for their lives with what few Heartless remain. Axel looks awful, limping and dragging, swinging wildly with one arm while the other is held protectively against his chest. Kairi looks far better, though she isn’t without her cuts and bruises.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Things aren’t going too well,” Mickey tells him, helping him to sit up properly. “There are just too many Heartless to keep track of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll need a miracle, at this point.” Terra wheezes back. He starts coughing and hacking, choking on what he truly hopes is spit and not something far more dangerous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Light flashes in the darkness, and it’s so bright that even with his back turned to it, Terra is blinded. Axel and Kairi yelp, while Mickey squeaks beside him. After so much time spent in the Realm of Darkness, the light feels like it’s burning holes into his head where his eyes should be, and it takes entirely too long for Terra’s liking before the light not only fades but for his eyes to stop stinging as well. He looks up at Mickey when the mouse whistles, and turns to face back towards the water when he notices Mickey staring out that way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Looks like our miracle just arrived.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Out standing on the water, Terra can see Riku and Aqua. Both of them are standing perhaps a few yards or so apart, facing one another. He can’t see Riku’s expression with his back turned to him, but the snarl Aqua wears chills his body down to his bones. Between them, however, stands a boy that Terra doesn’t recognize. Brown hair sticks up in all directions, and despite both Mickey and Riku and even Kairi having entered the Realm of Darkness in shorts and a skirt, Terra can’t help but think that the shorts and short sleeves would be chilly for the boy. The boy turns to say something to Riku, and Riku nods in earnest before turning and dashing back towards the shore, doing his best to hide a limp the entire time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who is that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why, that’s Sora, of course. He’s a real Keyblade prodigy.” Mickey says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku makes it back to them before Terra can say anything else, and by the time Mickey and Riku are talking, Aqua has engaged the boy- Sora- in battle. Aqua strikes hard and fast with several magic based attacks, but Sora seems more than capable of blocking and parrying them all. Terra watches as Aqua unleashes a Thundaga Shot, and stares in awe as Sora not only dodges the attack but counters with a Sonic Blade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A particularly brutal Dark Fire Surge from Aqua sends Sora reeling, and it has Terra’s heart leaping up into his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t we go help him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You won’t be any help to him in that state.” Axel speaks up. Terra hadn’t realized that Axel and Kairi had joined them. Axel sits down heavily beside him, stretching his one leg out in front of him as he continues to cradle his arm to his chest. “Besides, Sora’s got this handled. Right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku, Kairi, and even Mickey give a variation of an affirmative, and Terra can only sit and watch, dumbfounded as they let Sora deal with Aqua on his own. For every damaging blow Aqua makes, Sora seems to either take it without batting an eye or charge right back at her with a devastating blow of his own. For every Dark Firaga, Dark Haze, and Time Splicer Aqua dishes out, Sora comes right back swinging with Ars Arcanum, Blitz, Fire Dash, and Waterga. It’s almost mesmerizing the way the boy fights. He fights as if he’s fought thousands of battles before, as if he’s spent years training and sparring and failing before getting things right. And yet he looks like Kairi and Riku, no older than what Ventus must have been before this whole mess began.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mickey distracts him by pulling his hood down and offering a potion bottle to him. Terra looks up at him hesitantly, and the little mouse smiles and nods, shaking the bottle just a little bit. With trembling hands, Terra reaches up and accepts the potion. Mickey turns to offer Axel one as well, one that looks far more potent than the one he’d given Terra. From the looks of him, he could definitely use something with a little more kick than just a standard potion. He uncorks his own bottle, and after a bracing breath, Terra tosses the potion back. The terrible taste of it still manages to hit his tongue, and Terra can practically feel his nose hairs burning away at the intense, magic-enhanced menthol taste and smell. The shakes that had been plaguing him the moment he’d stepped into the Realm of Darkness ease, and the weakness and soreness in his muscles is chased away by a wash of energy. The gashes from claws itch and tingle in the familiar sensations of skin and muscle slowly stitching themselves back together. The potion makes his stomach churn in upset, but a slight bit of queasiness is a small price to pay to have his wounds feel a little bit better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With his empty potion bottle in hand, Terra returns his attention back to the fight. Sora seems to have Aqua on the run, battering her with quick combos and sharp magic blasts. He watches as she does her best to dance and cartwheel out of the way, but too many of the boy’s attacks land. Too many hit her arms, her legs, her sides. She’s slowing down, she’s losing focus. Bit by bit Sora seems to whittle away at her, until he finally catches her off guard. His Keyblade strikes her in the side, and she skids across the surface of the water, legs wobbling and ankles buckling. It must be sheer luck that she remains standing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sora stops his advance. Even from this distance he can see him panting, but his eyes stray towards Aqua. She heaves and pants, one red clawed hand holding her head in pain. Something begins flaking off of her, inky motes of what looks like ashes peeling off of her and floating upwards until they fade entirely. Her whole body trembles. And it’s with a sudden lurch that she falls backwards onto the water’s surface.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something in Terra’s gut clenches.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watches as darkness from the water stretches up, tendrils of it slowly sliding its way over her. And inch by inch, the darkness pulls her under the water’s surface, dragging her down into the depths.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He isn’t sure what happens to him. He must have shouted her name, that much he knows. But he barely registers throwing his potion bottle aside. He barely notices as he sprints out towards Sora, towards the spot the darkness had pulled her under. He barely realizes he’s activated his Keyblade Armor. And it isn’t until he’s leapt that he finally realizes he’s diving in after her, Sora hot on his heels.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He plunges into the depths of the inky water, his breaths coming in gasps and his heart hammering so very hard in his chest. Below him, shrouded in the inky void, is Aqua, limp and sinking ever deeper into the darkness. In the darkness he can see glowing yellow eyes flutter open, can see them stare upwards into the water. And then they slide shut. Panic squeezes his heart and his lungs, and Terra dives deeper, chasing after her. He barely registers that the boy- Sora- is still beside him, swimming ever at his side towards her. Sora cries her name into the darkness, and briefly, Aqua’s eyes open once more. They don’t glow this time. He sinks faster than Sora does, no doubt a combination of his heavy armor and his denser than average bones. Aqua raises her arm, reaches her hand out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra grabs hold of it and <em>pulls</em>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i have no idea how im going to start the next chapter and thats okay because i am officially like 4k over the projected nano goal so suck it nano im a writing machine</p>
<p>im very tired lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The Warmth of Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Terra has never felt this exhausted before in his life. Not as a child during one of Master Eraqus' intense endurance tests. Not as a teenager stuck reading endless tomes about the heart and magic and balance. Not even as an adult, fighting for his life against Heartless and Unversed. The trip has taken almost everything out of him, and now? Now he's ready to sleep for the next year and a half. Hopefully Xehanort can wait that long for his promised beat down.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter didnt go exactly how i wanted it to, but i still really enjoyed writing it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a frantic struggle to pull her up and shove her up high enough for Sora to take her. For a brief moment, Aqua wouldn’t let go of his hand, and though Terra had no doubts the boy could swim with one of them up to the surface, he knew that taking both him and Aqua at the same time would be far too heavy for him to make it. Blue eyes fluttered, looking down at him, before they rolled back and slid shut. Only then did Aqua let him go. For a brief moment, Sora falters, holding onto Aqua and watching as he himself sank. Only when Terra urged him to go did he turn and swim back upwards, dragging Aqua along with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Heavy as he is, Terra struggles to follow him, kicking and pushing himself through the water. While Sora swims higher and higher, Terra feels like he’s going half the speed. Logically, he knows he should be. His bones are just naturally denser, and he’s wearing his armor which in and of itself isn’t exactly light. But trying to swim away from the dark abyss below him, logical thought is out the window. Panic squeezes his throat, his lungs, his heart, he feels like he can’t breathe, like he can’t swim, like no matter what he does, he’s simply going to drown.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Sora disappears above the surface, someone else dives into the darkness. Brilliant white hair turns a shimmering lilac in the darkness, and Terra reaches up towards him. Riku grabs hold of his hand and tugs hard, kicking and pulling his way back to the surface. Terra does what he can, kicking just as hard, anything to lessen the load. Suddenly, it no longer feels like he’s going to sink to the bottom and drown. It feels as if he’s moving faster, climbing higher, like the surface is just within their grasp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though his helm is airtight and sealed, Terra gasps when they breach the surface. Instinctually he paddles, dragging himself closer to the shore, RIku ever at his side. It takes far less time to reach the shore than it did to reach the surface, and soon enough, Terra is dragging himself up onto the sand, his entire body shaking and rattling in his armor. Sora says something, but Terra doesn’t listen. He collapses onto the sand, on his hands and knees, and tears at his helm. He pulls it off and lets it fall into the sand, gasping and heaving for breath he hadn’t even lost in the water. His heart feels like it might explode in his chest, it beats so hard and so fast. He’s barely caught his breath before he’s raised his head and looking around. Kairi is with Sora and Riku, grins spread wide across their faces, while farther up the shore, Axel and Mickey sit in the sand. Aqua is there with them, her head in Axel’s lap while Mickey tends to her and the darkness still flaking and sloughing off of her. Relief bubbles up, but he shoves the feeling down. He can’t let his guard down, not until they’re out of here, not until <em>Aqua</em> is out of here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra’s legs wobble like a newborn colt’s as he climbs to his feet. He staggers towards them, the edge of his helm gripped tight in his hand. He falls once more to his knees when he reaches them, and Terra doesn’t even bat an eye as he takes a large, red clawed hand into his own. Through his gauntlets, her hand feels fragile and soft, almost like fraying cotton. Rubbing at the back of her hand with his thumb, Terra watches as more of the darkness clinging to her flakes away. Her eyes are still closed, but she’s breathing. Terra can’t describe how good it feels to see that her mouth has returned to the shape he remembers it to be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So… You’re Terra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a monumental struggle for him to drag his eyes away from Aqua and look back at Sora. He almost seems to jump when Terra’s gaze lands on him, but he doesn’t flinch or run at the sight of him. Terra still can’t speak, still feels like his lungs and his throat are being crushed. Instead he nods, and Sora nods with him. He opens his mouth to say something else, but Riku interrupts him before he can say it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We should head back before we overstay our welcome.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes please.” Terra wheezes. He doesn’t care how weak or pathetic his voice sounds, he really and truly doesn’t. The Realm of Darkness is terrifying beyond belief, and if he’s brutally honest with himself, he’s experienced more than his fair share of darkness to last a lifetime and a half. Kairi snorts, and it’s almost musical.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, big guy,” she says, leaning down to place a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s get all this off you and get out of here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Terra basically half wheezes, half whines a “Yes please” before he’s deactivating his armor. The weight of it disappears, and it almost feels like he can breathe easier. Almost. He still feels choked here, like the darkness is insistently pushing at him, trying to reclaim him, trying to force him out of his body again so that someone else can take control.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Getting to his feet is no easier without his armor on, but it certainly doesn’t stop him. Nor does it stop him from leaning down and very carefully scooping Aqua up into his arms. He teeters with her added weight, but he doesn’t falter. He’s careful to hold her against his chest, making sure he isn’t holding too hard and that she won’t fall from the way he’s holding her. It’s strange, feeling her cheek rest against his shoulder and chest, but even as his heart threatens to burst from how fast it’s racing, it feels warm and fuzzy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nearly drops her anyways when Sora walks past, Master’s Defender in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh-Where did you get that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sora looks like he almost jumps out of his skin at the question, but he recovers in record time. He looks up at him and hefts the Keyblade in question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean this? Well I, sort of found it on a beach.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And it listens to you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… Don’t think I understand the question.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra’s jaw nearly drops. Not only are Keyblades the extension of one’s soul, but Master’s Defender was a notoriously picky Keyblade. More often than not, the voice it held within itself did not speak when it was held by someone other than it’s chosen. Or, in very rare instances, it would sing its song purposely in a disconnected, cacophonic tone, telling the wielder that it did not enjoy being held by someone other than its chosen. Terra had been on the receiving end of both many times as a child, and had only once heard the Master’s Defender’s true voice. To see a boy no older than Ventus hold the Keyblade but seemingly do so without any interference is mind boggling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra doesn’t have a chance to question him any further. Riku utters Sora’s name with a tone of urgency, and after a bit of fumbling, Sora holds Master’s Defender before him and focuses. Light builds up and shines at the end of the Keyblade, and before he knows it, a door much like the one Mickey had originally summoned appears. This one uses more gold and silver than the other one, and there are no stained glass windows showing what lies beyond it. But as Sora pushes the doors open, Terra almost feels himself sob in relief. After spending so long in the Realm of Darkness, the light that shines through is practically blinding, but it doesn’t matter. The moment Terra walks through that door is the moment his body finally starts to relax.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s over. His ordeal in the Realm of Darkness is over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Light washes over him, seemingly scrubbing his very essence clean of the darkness he’d wandered through, leaving him feeling almost raw in a way. It’s warm, uncomfortably so in his black coat and especially under his armor, but it doesn’t bother him. Clean, fresh air sweeps into his lungs, removing whatever stranglehold that had been squeezing his throat and lungs and heart. And even though his eyes sting and water, he can’t be bothered to close his eyes as the realm before him comes into focus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Realm of Light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The world they step out onto isn’t the one they first left, but it’s certainly a relaxing sight. Beautiful white sands stretch before them, dotted occasionally with beach grasses and the occasional piece of driftwood. The water that laps at the shores is a brilliant blue, crystal clear and glimmering like the stars have been captured in its depths. A warm, tropical breeze blows by, and it warms him to his very soul, carrying the smell of salt and lush vegetation and the sea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sora leads them out from whatever little nook they’d exited from and down onto the beach. Even through his boots Terra can feel how warm the sand is. It’s comforting and inviting, feels like it’s beckoning him to lie down in it and sleep his worries away out in the warmth of the sun. Something in him wobbles, and Terra knows he has to act fast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carefully as he can, Terra lies Aqua out on the sand, far enough away from the water so that it wouldn’t wet her, but close enough to enjoy the sound of the waves. When she’s settled, he pulls his armor off in record time, and his black coat is quick to follow. The coat is hastily wadded up into something like a pillow, and ever so gently he slips it under her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that finished, the wobbling in his body intensifies, and he staggers. He can hear Mickey and Kairi yelp, and Axel shouting something, but it doesn’t matter. With all of his heavy items removed, Terra lets himself crash down into the sand, welcoming the feeling of the air rushing out of him as his shoulder breaks his fall, and as the heat of the beach starts to consume him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It feels incredible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra! Terra, are you all right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hands tilt his head to the side, bringing his cheek off of the sand. Above him is Kairi, a look of worry and fear on her face. He didn’t mean to startle her, didn’t mean to worry her. But he can’t help the lazy grin that stretches across his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I never see the darkness again before I die, it will still be far too soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi’s face switches between a bunch of emotions very quickly, starting with shock, moving to annoyance, then to concern, and finally relief. “Well, don’t scare us like that in the future, okay? You really had me worried.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” he says, but he can’t stop smiling. He rolls over onto his back, relishing the heat of the sand, and Kairi smiles down at him. Riku comes into view, and so does Axel and Mickey. Kairi sits down by his head, while Riku sits somewhere off to his left. Judging by the way the sand shifts beside him, it seems like Axel chose to lie down next to him, and Mickey’s footsteps crunch in the sand as he rushes off somewhere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a brief moment, Terra relaxes in the sand next to Aqua. Kairi starts toying with his hair, pulling it out from underneath him and undoing the braid. To his right, Axel heaves a sigh of relief. And Terra can’t agree more. Then, Sora’s face appears in his line of sight, curious and bright and a question on the tip of his tongue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Terra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re… Not going to attack me again, are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra blinks up at him, confused and struggling to process the question. Sora scratches at the back of his neck and flashes him a rather large and awkward smile. Finally Terra manages to piece together the question in his mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I attacked you once?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think so. That armor you were wearing earlier,” he starts, and then trails off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My Keyblade Armor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. That’s yours, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nods, and receives a little huff from Kairi as she begins to pull his hair out of the complex pattern she’s trying to weave it into. Sora seems to shuffle on his feet for a moment, almost like he’s trying to find the right words, before he speaks again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you remember like a year ago? It was this big empty world with lots of rocks and tall cliffs and stuff?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The Badlands.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Sora nods, a big awkward smile on his face. “Yeah! That place!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” he starts, rubbing once more at the back of his neck. “I think my friends and I ran into you there, and you said some really weird stuff before you accused me of being Xehanort? Then you attacked us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra blinks up at him once more, and Sora blinks back at him. He tries his best to recall his time during that period, tries to recall anything that would tell him more about what he was talking about. Bits and pieces of sensations and memories rise to the surface. The feeling of emptiness, the feeling of hunger and rage. He can remember seeing himself with white hair and yellow eyes, and seeing himself in his Keyblade Armor at the same time. A strange sensation washes over him, but he tries to pass over that memory. Vaguely, he can recall something, sensing something different and wrong. A heart he’d encountered before wielding the light he’d given to another. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So uh… No hard feelings?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra blinks up at him again, once, twice, and a third time before he finally responds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I don’t really remember. But I’m sorry. I… I never meant to hurt anyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sora waves his hands rather suddenly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No no! You didn’t hurt us! Well, not really, but it’s okay! I just want to make sure you’re not mad at me for something I did! Besides! You’re really strong!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra isn’t exactly sure what to do with that information, but judging by the way Riku and Kairi start to laugh, he thinks he won’t have to do much with it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Still, I’m sorry if I hurt you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s not a big deal. Friends fight and spar all the time, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once again, Terra blinks up at Sora, this time in disbelief. Somewhere to his right, Axel snorts, and Riku chuckles. A hand bumps him on his arm, and in the corner of his eye he can see Axel’s grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s right, you haven’t met Sora yet, have you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He tends to befriend anything that moves.” Riku adds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! I do not!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Above him, Kairi laughs. “Do you remember the time you befriended the garter snakes that used to live on this island?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! I just wanted them to know I wasn’t going to hurt them!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All three of them, Riku, Kairi, and Axel, burst out in laughter, and eventually Sora does too, sheepishly scratching at his cheek with one finger. Terra isn’t sure where the conversation is going, but watching this boy laugh with the people around, watching him smile and grin and talk the way he does, it makes something inside him feel warm. Even when Sora gets distracted by something else on the beach and darts off, Terra feels warm. Just looking at him reminds him of Ventus, and he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, you’re going to be stuck as his friend for the rest of your life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Axel snorts and raises a hand to flick him in the cheek. “No matter what you do, he’s going to hound you for the rest of your lives and insist that he’s your friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not really like that, is he?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unfortunately, he is.” Riku says. “I met him once at a party with my family, and he’s been following me around ever since.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Kairi hums. “Sora’s like that. He found me washed up on the shore and decided that I was going to be one of his best friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kid watched me kill a man and still decided that we would be friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a brief moment, both Kairi and Riku seem to freeze up. But Terra can’t help the startled laugh that barks out of him. They relax again soon after. “You did <em>what</em>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was part of the Organization once, remember? Back then, they used me for all the icky jobs, like dealing with traitors. He caught me in the act once.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And he still decided you were friend material?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup.” Axel says, his voice popping on the p. “And even if you really did attack him once, he probably still thinks you’re friend material too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both Kairi and Riku hum, and they sound incredibly fond.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku sighs. “Yeah, Sora really is like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra hums softly at the thought. And his breast fills with warmth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I’ll just have to bother him like a good friend then, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that, Kairi laughs and Riku snorts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>we are finally out of the realm of darkness and now terra gets to have the nap of a lifetime on the beach. axels probably going to conk out too tbh. he had so many unfortunate dice rolls, and hes covered in wounds. big guy deserves it lmao. dont know how exactly im going to be writing the next chapter but hey, we'll get there. and im having a stellar time writing this too</p>
<p>i hope y'all enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Return to the Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>She can't believe it. She simply can't believe it. Everything before all of this was hell. Waking up here was so relieving. But this? Seeing him again? She can't help but feel this is the hardest she's ever cried, and she wouldn't have it any other way.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i know this is a terra fic, i know this is supposed to be terra-centric. but i couldnt resist. i love aqua so much dude. terra aqua and ventus are highkey my ultimate faves, right up there with eraqus and xigbar. and really, nomura does these ladies so dirty. she deserves to have another moment in the spotlight tbh.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything is dark.</p><p>She’s sinking, that much she knows. But it’s not terrifying. It doesn’t feel like she’s drowning, being pulled to the depths of an unknown abyss. It’s soft, almost warm. Like falling into bed after a long and exhausting day, being greeted by soft sheets and a warm bed while the night creeps in ever closer. It’s a feeling she hasn’t experienced in so long, and she feels as if she might cry just from this alone.</p><p>Everything had been so hard, so dangerous, so frightening for so very long. She could barely keep track of the days that went by, of how time was slowly blurring into something she could no longer quantify. She’d tried to be strong for so long, done her very best to hold out for as long as she physically could. But she’d faltered eventually. And that was terrifying, too. Feeling herself slip away, inch by inch, chasing dreams and hallucinations that she could never have, feeling the darkness seep into any crack that appeared in her heart. After a time, she could barely recognize herself, and the scariest part of it all was that she didn’t care.</p><p>She’d grown so angry, so frustrated, so hateful. And beneath it all, she felt so very empty. Like something she once had was suddenly gone, like something had seeped out of the cracks in her heart so slowly that she didn’t even realize what was happening until it was all gone. Part of her had believed the hallucinations would stop, that her dreams would end and never return. But they persisted. Images of friends no longer at her side, dreams of light she hadn’t seen in so long. They’d only served to enrage her at that point. She would catch wind of a new hallucination, or wake from a new dream, and she wouldn’t even realize what her rage was doing to her until she’d ripped something to pieces. Something in her knew that she should be terrified of herself, but it was smothered by darkness, bound and sealed deep within her so that hate and rage and frustration would take the stage.</p><p>She feels none of that here.</p><p>Everything here is soft, warm, comforting.</p><p>What if it isn’t real?</p><p>What if she opens her eyes, and she’s right back where she started? Alone? Lost? Without a weapon nor shield to guide her?</p><p>She doesn’t want to wake up. She doesn’t want this dream to end. It’s so soft, warm, <em>safe</em>. She might lose herself entirely if she wakes in the dark, surrounded by cold, glowing stones and denizens of the darkness. Even in the semi-rationality she has in her dreams, she knows she won’t be able to handle it emotionally if she wakes in that place once more. But her dreams always slip away, even the ones where she simply exists in the comfort of the void. And this one is no different.</p><p>Her body wakes as it does every other time she’s slept. Colour shines through her eyelids, irritating her eyes. The texture on the ground beneath her scratches at clothing and skin. The smell of the dead sea stings her nostrils.</p><p>Though it’s a little bit different.</p><p>The colour shining through her eyelids is harsher, more red than the subtle purples and pinks she’s used to. The texture of the sand beneath her is coarser, not quite as fine or ashy as she’s used to. The dead sea smells less… Well, less <em>dead</em>. It’s salty, that’s for sure, but it’s not overwhelmingly alkaline. It doesn’t smell like bleach and ammonia, like death and rot. There’s a warm breeze that passes over her, disturbing her hair and taking with it the smell of new growth, salt water, and sand.</p><p>She can’t ignore it anymore, no matter how much she wants to. She’s already mostly awake at this point. She’ll simply have to face her reality head on once more, even though her heart screams and aches for things to be easy again. She shifts. The sand is warm beneath her, warmer than she remembers ashes and fine sand to feel.</p><p>“Aqua?”</p><p>Opening her eyes is a struggle, both physically and emotionally. She’s not ready to exist in the darkness again. She doesn’t want to wander that realm again, doesn’t want to wait for a rescue that will never happen.</p><p>“Aqua!”</p><p>Above her, past the haze of sunlight, she can barely make out silhouettes.Voices she hasn’t heard in years ring in her ears. Out of a good dream and into a hallucination. Her heart feels like it’s breaking all over again, and she can’t stop herself from mumbling the names of family long lost.</p><p>“Aqua!”</p><p>Their voices break through the haze, the soft tinniness of sleep-addled hearing. They’re different than she remembers. She tries to blink away the fog that hides them from proper view. And slowly but surely, their faces come into focus. It’s not her family waiting for her, but a different set of hallucinations.</p><p>It’s the two little boys from the beach. They look so much older than Aqua remembers them to be. They couldn’t have been more than five, maybe six back then. And yet here they are before her, looking just shy of fully grown. Terra’s chosen stands to her right, nearly as tall and imposing as Terra was himself. His hair is far shorter than it was as a child, and hazily, her mind conjures up the image of him from what must have been a few years prior, silver-white hair hanging down past his shoulders. It’s clean and trimmed now, the longest parts hanging no lower than his jaw. And his clothes are far different, too. He’s switched out of yellow and into black and white. It suits him, makes him look more mature, though yellow is still sprinkled within the fabrics. If she recalls correctly, Riku is his name. And to his left stands the little boy he used to run around with. He’s taller, though compared to Riku his height isn’t that impressive. His hair is still the same, sticking up in every direction and looking more like he’d just awoken from a long nap. The boy she remembers was wearing all white and red, but the young lad in front of her has switched it out for black and red. Like Riku, it seems to suit him, and though the accents of matching plaid on their clothes is nice, something inside her bubbles in amusement at the thought of the two of them matching their clothes to one another. This one must be Sora, then. Riku’s friend, who vowed to her so long ago that he would follow Riku down whatever path he took, no matter how scary, so that Riku would never be alone. The two of them look so relieved, though Aqua can’t figure out why. It’s likely unimportant, considering this must be some form of hallucination.</p><p>“Thank goodness! You’re awake!”</p><p>Now, Aqua likes to think of herself as someone who doesn’t scare that easily. That being said, she had not been aware of someone else to her right, and rightfully so, she jumps at the sound of his voice. When she turns to look, she sees a face she hasn’t seen in a very long time.</p><p>“Mickey…”</p><p>The little mouse nods, a great grin stretched across his face. And just beyond him, she spies a small outbranching island, wooden planks nailed into the sides and a balcony attached between it and the mainland. Something in her gut clenches, and she takes a look at her surroundings. Bright, sunny skies, clear, sparkling waters, trees and bushes and a very particular tree, blown and bent, growing bright yellow fruits. Her eyes cross over Donald and Goofy, another two faces she hasn’t seen in the longest time. And her aching heart mourns the sight of everything around her.</p><p>“These… Are these the Destiny Islands?”</p><p>Mickey nods again. “That’s right.”</p><p>She knew when she saw them that they were. The same islands she had visited the boys on so long ago, the same islands she had helped save while protecting Riku from swarms of Heartless. But she didn’t want to believe they were the same islands, didn’t want to believe that even after everything, she had failed to save them from sharing the same fate as so many other worlds. Though grief ties her guts to knots, she has to know how it happened. Maybe there’s something she could do, something she could help with so that they could be restored to the light. Her body is sore, and she feels clumsy and weak, but she manages to push herself up into a sitting position nonetheless.</p><p>“When did they fall to darkness?”</p><p>Above her, both Riku and Sora look at each other and huff a soft laugh. She can’t figure out why they would laugh at something so terrible, why they would laugh at the thought of their homeworld being consumed by the darkness like it was nothing but one big joke. She knew the grief first hand, having seen her own homeworld succumb to the tides of darkness. How they could chuckle and laugh is beyond her. When Riku looks back at her, there’s a warm and tired smile on his face.</p><p>“You’re in the Realm of Light.”</p><p>For a moment, everything grinds to a halt.</p><p>It’s a hallucination. It has to be a hallucination. She’s spent so long in darkness, she knows its tricks by now. This is just one of them. This is just another elaborate trick conjured up by the darkness and her own desperate, homesick heart. She can’t let herself fall for it. She knows from experience how badly it hurts when she falls for them. The moment she lets her guard down is the moment everything fades back into darkness, back into despair and heartache and the inconsolable rage and hatred and frustration. She looks around again at her surroundings, taking in the beauty of the hallucination before it fades.</p><p>It doesn’t fade.</p><p>The warm breeze still passes by. The ocean keeps lapping at the white sandy shores. The sun’s brilliant light doesn’t fade. Neither do Riku, Sora, Mickey, Donald, or Goofy. Down the beach she can see a few people lying out on the sand, soaking in the sun’s light and sleeping soundly. They don’t fade either.</p><p>“You’re home.” Sora says.</p><p>And it finally clicks.</p><p>Why the sand feels different, why the air smells different, why everything is warm and noisily quiet, why there are still people and why there’s light. She looks down at herself, half of her terrified of seeing the same distorted figure the darkness was turning her into, half hopeful of what might be. She can barely stop the tears at the sight of clean skin and clawless hands beneath her threadbare clothes.</p><p>She’s in the Realm of Light.</p><p>This isn’t a hallucination.</p><p>This isn’t a dream.</p><p>This is the Realm of Light.</p><p>Donald and Goofy let out a cheer, and before she knows it, Aqua is being consumed by warm arms, soft fur and feathers, tight hugs and excited laughter. And though she’s sobbing, she’s laughing, too. She feels hysterical, laughing and crying and sniffling back snot and everything else that’s supposed to run out of one’s face and nose. She isn’t sure how long she sits there in the sand, laughing and crying and receiving hugs that she hasn’t felt in what seems like a lifetime, but she’s more than happy to sit there as long as it takes. Eventually she begins to calm down, and reality begins to set in permanently. She’s in the Realm of Light. Nothing is going to fade. She’s here to stay. And eventually her friends let go of her in favour of sitting around and near her. Even though they let her go, it’s still nice to have them sitting nearby. It’s still nice to know they’re still here, that they’re still real, that she isn’t dreaming everything up.</p><p>“Mm… Sora?”</p><p>At the sound of the voice, both she and Sora look up. Someone walks closer, rubbing at her eyes and yawning into her palm. “Did I miss something?”</p><p>“Oh yeah! Kairi! Come meet Aqua!”</p><p>Kairi.</p><p>The name brings to mind the memory of a young girl clad in white, with little white shoes and flowers held tight in her hands. The girl in front of her, rubbing her eyes and blinking sleepily at them all, resembles that little girl. The same deep red hair, the same glittering blue eyes, the same light shining in her heart. She can feel old magic lingering on the girl, and right at her collarbone, Aqua spies an all too familiar necklace and pendant.</p><p>The girl seems to brighten at the sight of her, and she trots over a little more excitedly. “Aqua! It’s really nice to finally meet you!” A hand, no longer the small and fragile one that had offered her flowers so long ago, stretches out for a proper handshake. “I’ve gotten to hear a lot about you from-!”</p><p>Rather suddenly, the extended hand is withdrawn, and a very thrilled sounding squeak comes out of her mouth instead. Before Aqua can ask what’s happening, Kairi spins on the ball of her foot and dashes back towards the rest of the people farther down the beach.</p><p>“Hey! Wake up!” She shouts, practically skipping to a stop next to them. Aqua watches as she nudges one of them with her foot, and how she laughs with a tightly bound hand rises to swat at her. She can hear him mumble something, and Aqua snorts at the sight of her bending over and shoving the man hard, rolling him off of his side and onto his stomach. It’s sort of comical how the man flails and struggles to sit up, and the way he coughs and spits sand out of his mouth onto the ground certainly doesn’t help. She nudges the man towards them, chattering something excitedly at him before she moves onto the other person just beyond him.</p><p>She’s distracted as the first sleeping person gets up and limps his way towards them. Standing up, it’s far more obvious to her that he’s been injured, and while he appears to have been bandaged up, Aqua can’t help the wince and the pang of sympathy that fires through her heart.</p><p>“What? What’s that look for?” the man gripes as he draws near. “Are my boxers showing or something?”</p><p>“I didn’t want to be rude,” Sora says. “But I gotta say, Axel, I thought you’d wear boxers with little embers on them or something, not playing cards.”</p><p>The man- Axel- flinches and looks down at the tear in his pants on his left leg. Aqua looks down too, and sure enough, she can see the edges of black boxers peeking out of the tear, with hearts, clubs, spades, and diamonds on them.</p><p>“Hey! Not cool! Not in front of the ladies!” Axel tugs at his black coat for a few moments, fiddling with the zippers until the leather is closed tightly enough to hide the wound. All the while he mumbles something about first impressions, and Aqua can’t help but snort.</p><p>“Aw man! See? She’s laughing at me.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she says, but it’s definitely hard to feel sorry when he grumbles and sits down like an angry child. “I didn’t mean to laugh.”</p><p>The pout that had been sitting on his face clears fast enough, and he waves his bandaged hand at her. “I guess it’s alright this time. But I can’t be the comedic relief at everything. Got it memorized?”</p><p>Axel’s voice, she finds, is only slightly annoying, but it balances well with the way he speaks and moves. A finger taps at his forehand and he grins at her. She offers a slight smile in return.</p><p>“The name’s Axel. You must be the Aqua we’ve been hearing so much about. Nice to meet you.”</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, too.”</p><p>“Sora!”</p><p>The group looks over at Kairi, where she’s slowly trying to drag the other sleeping person across the sand. It looks difficult, given how small she still technically is compared to giant sleeping in the sand.</p><p>“You’re good at Water spells, right? I can’t get him up!”</p><p>“Oh! Actually, Donald’s way better at them than me!”</p><p>“What?” the mentioned duck shouts. “I’m not wasting my magic on that! You do it, Sora!”</p><p>“Aw, come on! You’re way better at it than I am!”</p><p>“Then you need to practice your spells more!”</p><p>Sora groans, and though Aqua had only met him as a child a long time ago, the little boy in white shines through in his voice. “But I <em>have</em> been practicing! All I do is practice on the Heartless and stuff!”</p><p>“Well, practice some more then!”</p><p>Sora groans again, this time sounding far more like a little boy who doesn’t want to do chores than an inconvenienced mage. Aqua watches as Sora pushes himself up from his spot in the sand and jogs over to meet Kairi. She’s still trying to pull the person around by their arms, but when Sora stops beside her, she gives up on pulling. They chatter about something for a few moments before Sora summons a Keyblade. Briefly, Aqua sits and stares at him, completely flabbergasted. She hadn’t bequeathed her blade unto Sora when they met. She hadn’t wished that kind of life onto the boy, not when he was so small and innocent, running around and playing tag with his friends. How he acquired one is beyond her.</p><p>“Oh wait, I think he’s waking up!”</p><p>Aqua focuses back in on what’s happening just in time to see a fat puddle of water be dumped onto the sleeping person’s face and chest. Both Kairi and Sora leap back a few steps when the person thrashes and chokes, wet braid flying as his head spins about.</p><p>“F-Fuck! Maleficent! Sh-She’s here!”</p><p>Around her, her friends all start laughing, but Aqua is frozen solid, watching as he spins and fumbles and panics until Kairi and Sora manage to bring him back into reality. Memories flash in her mind’s eye, memories of training together, of tending to Ventus in shifts, of fighting and sparring and competing to see who was better at what. Darkness consuming him, Xehanort possessing him. Fighting with him in hopes of freeing him from Xehanort’s grasp. Falling into darkness, watching as he armor and Keyblade guided him back up into the Realm of Light, while she tumbled into an endless abyss of torment. The hair is different, and while similar, the clothes he wears aren’t what she remembers them to be. His hair is its usual brown, deep and rich and dark, and his voice doesn’t sound any different than she remembers it. But it can’t be him, can it? This has to be a hallucination, this one for sure must be a desperate dream.</p><p>“Terra?”</p><p>The man looks up, and though his hair and clothes are different, the deep blue eyes are the same. Blue eyes widen farther than Aqua’s ever seen, and though her body is still sore and tired, she forces herself up onto her feet. He does the same, scrambling to his feet and rushing towards her. Everything else doesn’t matter, not any more. Not for this one particular moment. She meets him halfway, and strong arms pull her into the tightest hug she’s had in years. She grips at the back of his shirt, holds onto him like he might disappear any second, but he doesn’t. He never does. He holds her just as tight, one hand gripping at the back of her ruined shirt and the other weaving into her hair. He holds her so tight, so close, burying his face into her hair.</p><p>And she can’t help but cry into his arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>gotta admit, writing these chapters takes WAY less time than finding the appropriate mood songs to write them to. this one in particular was written to Friends In My Heart from the og kingdom hearts. in fact, most of these chapters have been written to a variety of kh tunes, from lazy afternoon streets, to fragments of sorrow, to end of the world, to gigas blast. yoko goes so fucking hard with the soundtrack tbh, and i think i wouldnt have as many fond memories of the series if she hadn't been the one to go apeshit with the music.</p><p>also, this chapter had so many fucking variations while i was plotting it out in my tipsy little head last night after i had a drink, and i thought about it so hard and in so many different ways, but gotta give credit where credit is due. this one was loosely inspired by Charlieco's fucking *amazing* animatic, "Snoring Problem". if you havent seen it, here is the link right here</p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvlGh-1jU5k</p><p>and i fucking need you all to open it in another tab right fucking now cause its honestly one of the funniest kh animatics i have ever seen in my whole life, i howl every time i watch it.</p><p>anyways</p><p>i hope y'all enjoyed this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Didn't Fail</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's hard keeping track of things like this. A decade of being himself proper down the drain, traded instead of a decade of three separate beings. </p>
<p>A body possessed.</p>
<p>A heart enslaved.</p>
<p>A mind displaced.</p>
<p>Memories from all three muddle inside his head. They aren't his memories, per se, but they are memories of him nonetheless. Scattered and fleeting, none of them are good. He wishes, sometimes, he had never reawoken from the dark.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao this chapter is a lil heavier but meh. here is your fair warning that there are self-destructive thoughts and desires discussed in this chapter. but they arent acted on. so like. its cool.</p>
<p>i hope yall enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their time on the beach was shorter than Terra would have liked. If he had his way then, he would have spent the whole damn week on Destiny Islands, right there on that beach, holding Aqua so damn close to him. He wasn’t aware of time passing when he wasn’t himself. He had no idea how much time had actually passed until Master Yen Sid had told him. He wouldn’t have believed that a decade had passed if everything around him hadn’t said so as well. And sometimes it was still hard to believe. But seeing Aqua awake on that beach, sitting in the sand, surrounded by friends, looking almost exactly the same as he remembered her to be… It had felt as if he’d spent a lifetime away from her. The way she had been audibly sobbing into him on the beach was likely a sign she felt the same, though he couldn’t fault her for crying. He certainly shed a few tears in her embrace as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But all good things come to an end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were left together for about an hour and a half if Terra had to guess. Left to their own devices, never out of sight, but a polite distance away from the rest of the people on the beach. Some of them had started playing, others had relaxed, and a few had even gone for a quick swim. But Terra hadn’t paid them any mind at all. With Aqua beside him, holding onto his hand like a lifeline, he hadn’t cared to look anywhere else. And they had sat there on the beach, murmuring soft conversation to each other, reliving their most important memories they shared, vowing never to leave each other’s sides ever again. And it was the most reassuring thing Terra had ever heard in his damn life. After the hour and a half was up, everyone was packed up and urged to head back to Master Yen Sid’s castle.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had been the tightest squeeze of their lives, cramming eight people into the Gummi Ship Sora, Donald, and Goofy piloted between worlds. It was built to handle three, maybe five people at most if they were all standing. With Sora, Donald, and Goofy all seated in their respective seats, and Axel forced to sit on the floor due to his injuries, he, Aqua, Kairi, and Mickey had been forced to stand shoulder to shoulder, packed together like sardines. With Aqua pressed against his shoulder, he could physically feel her body trembling with exhaustion, and if he had spare armor, he would have let her ride behind him on his Glider through the stars. At the very least the tight experience taught Terra what a Gummi Ship was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stepping off of the ship had been a massive relief, and even climbing what must have been a hundred flights of stairs all the way to the top of Master Yen Sid’s castle was preferable to the ship. Much like Kairi and Axel had done to him, Terra had stayed close to Aqua’s side, offering her a sturdy shoulder and a companion as she hiked her way up the stairs. Though they were never far behind the others as they each climbed upwards, it felt as if they were always a few steps behind, as if they were being given privacy. It had allowed them to speak in soft tones for a little bit longer, to speak of fond memories of pranks they would pull on one another, and what kind of mischief Master Eraqus would wake to find every morning. Terra had been thankful for all of the privacy, as it was immediately yanked from them the moment they reported to Master Yen Sid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wizened wizard had congratulated them on a mission well done, had scolded them for not being more careful, and had fussed over their health in the same monotonous and serious manner he was well known for. Aqua was quickly bustled off to a room after an initial greeting and check in, as was Axel and Kairi. Riku and Mickey were officially sent off to ensure the surrounding worlds were secure, while Sora, Donald, and Goofy were ordered to continue on their own personal quest. Something about Sora recovering the Power of Waking. It left both he and Kairi on their own, though Master Yen Sid was kind enough to allow them each a room to stay in while awaiting orders. He didn’t get to visit or see Aqua for a few days after that, and though knowing she was nearby soothed his heart, it made him no less anxious to be away from her side. Yes, if Terra had his way then, he would have spent an entire week on that beach with her, simply enjoying the feeling of having his little sister back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Right now, however? He was happier to be alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d woken up in a fit, a cold sweat drenching his forehead and back, with blankets tangled once more around his legs. Snippets of his nightmare lingered, so sharp and so real that he wasn’t even sure if they were dreams or memories. He’d decided then that they couldn’t be memories, they simply couldn’t have, and he’d tried to go back to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No use.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was too startled, too unsettled and disturbed to go back to sleep. Master Eraqus’ eyes rolling back in his head still haunted nearly every moment of his rest, but other images lingered with him tonight. Cells in a basement somewhere, each filled with varying degrees of… of <em>test subjects</em>. Some were people. Some were Heartless. Some simply did not move. Someone no older than a teenager, no older than Ventus, lying on his stomach on the ground, bleeding from gashes on his face. An all consuming hatred, the feeling of emptiness, of feeding on hearts to become stronger, to feel whole, if only for an instant. The thoughts of self destruction. The rationalization that if he could not reclaim himself, that destroying himself would be a more preferable option.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every time he closed his eyes, he would see something to the same tune, hear something that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, smell something that made his gut churn. When he opens his eyes, the sight of the window on the tower’s wall facing a full moon and stars greets him. But behind his lids are horrors he begs every god and goddess in existence aren’t real.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s too much for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, he gives up on trying to fall back asleep, and instead he squirms free of his blankets and stands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t bother to put on socks or shoes, nor does he bother to pull a proper shirt on. It’s the middle of the night as far as he can tell. No one would be awake at this hour. No one would be awake to see his scars.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Creeping out of his room was easy, as was sneaking past the rooms Terra knew Kairi and Axel to be sleeping in. He couldn’t hear them through the doors, and light wasn’t shining out from underneath them. They were probably out like logs. Axel, though a light sleeper, seemed to be very good at napping whenever he had the chance, and with his injuries from the Realm of Darkness, it isn’t a surprising thought that he would be sleeping a little heavier than usual.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Down the spiraling stairs of the tower, past countless doors and hallways with seemingly no end in sight, Terra finally reaches the ground floor. He pushes the grand doors open and slips out as quietly as he can, closing them behind him before moving down the last few stairs. It wasn’t cold out, but it certainly wasn’t warm either. There’s a slight chill that makes the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stand up, but after his nightmares, the chill is welcome. The dirt path is soft beneath his feet, and the grass is cool and damp with dew that’s already begun to form. Out here, he had no worries about whether or not he would be waking anyone. They would all be high up enough for anything he did or said to be out of earshot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Picking a patch of grass nearby, Terra summons Ends of the Earth to his hand. Axel isn’t here to stop him this time, and this time he has no restrictions from practicing with his Keyblade as he pleases. He’s as healed as he’s going to get, and his muscle mass is back to a suitable level. Out here, alone under the stars, he could practice forms and katas until the remnants of his nightmares have left him, however long that may take.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking hold of his Keyblade in both hands, Terra steadies his balance and begins. He starts with slow lifts and slow swings, taking practiced steps and measured movements with his Keyblade. It’s a familiar kata, one Master Eraqus had taught him when he was just a child learning the basics of swordsmanship. Easy steps to stretch the muscles, to acquaint himself with the balance of his blade. Ends of the Earth feels perfect, a perfect extension of himself to wield. And though he knows he could leap into more advanced katas and forms right away, Terra takes his time, making sure to step just right and to extend his arms just so. It’s mindless, thoughtless, muscle memory to help clear his mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly but surely, Terra finishes his first kata. He transitions into a few stances, taking practice swings to hone his strikes, before he slides into the next one. The second is a little more advanced, but not by much. A few more steps here, a couple more swings there, and all of it is muscle memory. Again, he takes his time performing the kata, keeping to a rigid rhythm ticking away in his head until his second kata is done. He follows into the third just the same, stepping and swinging and turning to long-memorized patterns. And he keeps going, steadily progressing through forms and katas until he’s lost count of them, until he’s turning and stepping and swinging and dodging all in one swift, fluid motion. Back and forth he parries with an invisible enemy, chases them down, strikes them with powerful blows and disciplined strikes. His mind feels numb, fallen into a trance as he steps and swings and attacks. His body is warm, sweat beading on his arms and forehead and down his back. It’s all familiar. It’s all comforting. And before he knows it, his nightmares are behind him, lost in the rhythm of practice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Behind him, something in the dirt path crunches. Terra turns and swings, Keyblade cutting sharply through the air with a vicious hum. Ends of the Earth strikes Master’s Defender hard, and Aqua looks up at him in surprise. Guilt rushes through him all at once, and Terra drops Ends of the Earth, dismissing it from his grasp and back pedalling a few steps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aqua,” he nearly chokes. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. I must have snuck up on you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master’s Defender is dismissed from her hand, and now empty, her hand rises to grip at her opposite elbow. Terra barely notices that his own hand has planted itself on the back of his neck until his fingers catch in a small knot that tugs painfully on his scalp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” he says again, and Aqua just shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a few moments, her eyes travel around the patch of grass Terra had been training on, and Terra follows suit. The blades of grass have been flattened in some places, while others have been pushed into a strange direction. He had been practicing without thinking, of course. He isn’t sure how long he’s been out here, but he knows it’s been some time judging by the state of the grass and the sweat on his body alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing out here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks back up at her. She still grips at her arm, but her eyes focus on him now. Something guarded hides behind the blue he can just make out in the dark. He tries not to think too much into why.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was practicing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that what you’re really doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra winces. Though her words aren’t spoken with any sort of malice, they always seem to hit home. He scratches at the back of his neck again, and when he speaks, he can’t look her in the eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I couldn’t sleep… I think they were nightmares. I just…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wanted to clear your head?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glances up at her sheepishly and nods. The smile she gives him is weak and exhausted, but it warms him nonetheless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you… Do you mind if I join you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“House rules?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her smile brightens from weak and exhausted to fond and tired, and she nods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“House rules.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua sinks into a battle stance, Master’s Defender reappearing in her hands. Terra mimics her, sinking into his own stance while Ends of the Earth returns to his palm. From there, they stand in silence, eyes scouring over one another as they wait for the other to make the first move. He can see her pale hand in the dark, gloveless and twitching in anticipation, sparks dancing from her fingertips. Terra watches in the corner of one eye as a particularly big spark flies from her pinky and descends all the way into the grass. As soon as it’s gone, he lunges.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thrusts Ends of the Earth forwards, aiming for her middle. Aqua strikes back, swinging Master’s Defender down upon the length of his Keyblade. He pulls back hard, skidding to a stop, and Aqua pulls back just as hard, leaping back a step out of his reach before the teeth of their keys could lock on one another. Aqua lunges at him next, a barrier shimmering to life around her. Terra raises Ends of the Earth to block her, but she lands just before him and spins, using the momentum to smash Master’s Defender into his Keyblade. He’s easily thrown off balance, wobbling from the sudden awkward hit from her Keyblade. She wastes no time in lunging towards him, fire cloaking one hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulls back just in time, able to use his misplaced balance to stagger just out of her reach. The fire wouldn’t have hurt him, he knows that. But it would have left a mark of flames where she touched him. A flag. She would have been one more touch away from winning their bout.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With her arm over-extended, Terra takes his chance to swing at her, covering his own hand in flames. Just as he did, Aqua manages to change her momentum fast enough to leap out of his reach entirely, dancing between her steps. She doesn’t immediately charge him again, which gives him a moment to regroup. And then he lunges at her again, fire erupting from his arms, legs, and torso. It’s hard to see where he’s headed while in the middle of a Fire Dash, but it’s clear enough that Aqua’s leapt out of his way before he could land a hit on her. As Terra lands, he hears Aqua land behind him, and he spins in a ferocious arc, Ends of the Earth aflame. Again, she jumps out of his way, leaving him with a trail of fire that sizzles out without a target to tag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He raises Ends of the Earth again, ready to charge at her, but the look on her face stops him. She’s staring at him, at his chest and his arms, something akin to distress twisting her features. For a moment, Terra wonders if she had managed to land a flag on him without him noticing. Hesitantly, glances down at himself, searching for the telltale glow of synthetic flames to identify a tag. His body is still dark, not a single glow to be found.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks up again when a light shines upon him. Aqua’s raised the tip of Master’s Defender just high enough to point near his chest, and at the tip shines a small orb of light, much like the ones Master Eraqus used in their Mark of Mastery exam. She steps closer to him, and he watches as she draws near, shining light down on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He remembers too late about all of his scars.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua raises a hand, and it’s all Terra can do to not flinch when her fingers brush over the marred skin where burns used to be. They travel down with the shape of the burns, and then back up to his chest, where the incision scars over his ribs remain. And higher they go, until finally, they rest on the puncture marks in his chest. One old and almost smoothened out, and the other still fresh and snarled. The look she gives him conveys incredible fear and sorrow, and Terra can’t be bothered to hold onto Ends of the Earth any longer. Dismissing his Keyblade, Aqua follows suit, and the light exposing all of his recent wounds fades. Terra stays silent for a while, scratching at the back of his neck sheepishly while Aqua takes in what she saw.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened to you?” she whispers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the blink of an eye, a vestige of Terra’s nightmare resurfaces. The thoughts that he would rather destroy himself than let his body wander free, able to hurt innocents as its new master so pleased. The thought that, if reclamation didn’t work, destruction would have been the only way to protect what was left. Dark twisting thoughts rear up into his mind, whispering things that he’d hoped he could push away with just a little bit of willpower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not as much a nightmare as he hoped it had been.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t look her in the eye, can’t bear to see what might lie in those blue depths.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was the only way… I had to reclaim myself, or… Or kill <em>him</em>, if I failed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything around them begins to feel like someone had cast Stop. Nothing seemed to move. Nothing made a sound. And for a few moments, Terra squirmed in place, refusing to look at her, refusing to see whatever was bubbling up inside her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about Ventus and I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They would have found you if I failed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what about after that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The memory Master Eraqus falling towards him, eyes rolling back into his head, flashes in his mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then you wouldn’t have the reminder that I’m a killer hanging over your head.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, everything feels like it’s trapped in a Stop spell. He still refuses to look at her, staring instead at a stone in the dirt path not far from where they stand. She doesn’t speak again, and neither does he. There had been no other choice, no other way for him to right what he had done wrong. If he had not reclaimed himself, then… Then it was preferable, to leave Aqua and Ventus. To leave them on their own, safe from himself, safe from whatever else he might have done to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Warm arms wrap tight around him, one hand resting on his back between his shoulders, and the other burying itself into his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you didn’t fail…” she mumbles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hesitantly, Terra wraps his arms around her in return. She’s warm, so very warm, and the loaned cotton pyjamas she wears are soft beneath his hands. Beneath them, he can feel strength she hadn’t had before. Muscle she hadn’t cultivated before. Souvenirs from a decade spent in darkness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Briefly, the memory of holding her on the beach resurfaces. The joy he had felt, the relief that had sapped almost all of his strength, the tears of joy and sorrow and regret and pure <em>relief</em>. Quietly, Terra hugs her back a little bit tighter, and he buries his face into one of her shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad I didn’t fail, too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>listen, i know they talked about some stuff near the end of bbs, but i still really think they need to talk *more* about things. i do know that aqua forgave him to some extent, i know that he knows it wasnt really him that cut down eraqus, but i just need them to talk. just a lil bit more. also no one watches their father figure die in front of them and not walk away unscathed from that. thats a lot of trauma and guilt for one lad lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. A Choice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There is so much to think about.</p>
<p>So much to decide.</p>
<p>So much to be done.</p>
<p>And there is so little time to do it.</p>
<p>Choices arise before his very eyes. Does he continue? Or does he stop? If he continues, what will he be doing to better his future? If he stops, how will he fill his time? What life does he choose? What world must he settle for?</p>
<p>There is so much to think about.</p>
<p>So much to decide.</p>
<p>So much to be done.</p>
<p>He'll think on it later, after he raises hell for the poor, exhausted masters one last time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>GREAT NEWS EVERYONE I JUST REACHED 50K ON NANO AGAIN THIS YEAR</p>
<p>i know this fic already has like 82k before this update, but 50k of it came from nano! and i had a blast writing it! i didnt know whether i would ever come back after chapter nine, as other interests held my attention for a long time, but im back, and everything is great, and slowly but surely we're creeping closer to the end!</p>
<p>lmao maybe ill finally add a second fic to my list of completed fics?\</p>
<p>who knows lol</p>
<p>i hope yall enjoy this chapter!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He straightens up when addressed, doing his best to look as presentable as possible. Beside him, Kairi and Axel giggle soft snorts, just barely audible. If Master Yen Sid hears them, he makes no motion that he has or to silence them. Terra can’t help it, however. He’d been raised by Master Eraqus, a man who was thorough in his lessons of respect and discipline. You listen when a Master is speaking to you, be it your own or another. Knowing that Master Yen Sid was not only a retired Keyblade Master, but one of Eraqus’ oldest friends made it all the more important to him that he be respected and listened to. In Axel and Kairi’s defense, at least, they were never raised by a Master. They never had proper Keyblade Masters to train them before now. Master Yen Sid likely goes easy on them for it, he thinks, but Terra certainly won’t slack in showing the man respect.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have been in recovery for quite some time now, and you have made excellent strides in the process. I had feared the darkness that had consumed you would leave you with a shattered heart and a lack of will to continue. I am relieved to be so thoroughly proven wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though the subject still strikes him in a very sore spot in his heart, Terra can’t help but preen himself a little bit under the praise of Master Yen Sid. As a child, the approval and praise of Master Eraqus had meant a great deal to him, and while Master Yen Sid can’t replace the man he sees as a father, hearing him praise his efforts feels good nonetheless. Axel snorts a little bit louder, but once more, Master Yen Sid gives no outward sign that he’s noticed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“However, your recovery presents the issues regarding another matter.” Master Yen Sid states, and Terra braces himself for the verbal blows he knows are bound to follow. “Though you have already taken your Mark of Mastery exam under Master Eraqus’ tutelage, you have yet to show the Mark of Mastery.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes every ounce of willpower within him not to wince at the mention of his failed exam, though he fails to hide how his posture deflates a little bit at the mention of Master Eraqus. Master Yen Sid graces him by ignoring any traces of grief and guilt Terra may be showing as he continues to speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As Master Eraqus is no longer with us, two options remain with regards to your future.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can’t help but shuffle anxiously as Master Yen Sid stops to take a breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you so desire to continue your training and venture to retake your Mark of Mastery exam, you will be assigned to one of the few Keyblade Masters we still have contact with, and you shall be permitted to continue where your training last ended.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the corner of his eye, Terra can see both Kairi and Axel brighten, grins he can just barely see spreading across their faces and postures becoming more attentive than before. But the thought unnerves him. After all he’s done, did he really, truly deserve to wield a Keyblade? The dark thoughts he usually kept sealed deep within his heart slither to the forefront of his mind. Master Eraqus had denied him as a Master for a reason, one Terra hadn’t been able to see all those years ago. He’d let the darkness bubble forth within him, use him as a puppet until his anger, his hate, his frustration had consumed him entirely, leaving him as nothing more than a fragmented being controlled by the man who had manipulated him. If he hadn’t been so naive, so foolish and so entitled then, maybe Ventus and Aqua wouldn’t have suffered the fates they’d been dealt. A decade spent in the Realm of Darkness, and a decade spent hidden away and asleep, heart broken and lost and never finding its way back home. Perhaps then Sora, Riku, Kairi, and worlds full of other innocent people wouldn’t have felt the pain of whatever Xehanort had sought out to unleash with a fresh vessel offered up to him. He’d vowed to make things right one day, promised himself and any other hearts that could hear him that he would save Aqua and Ventus from the wrongs he had wrought. But beyond that, beyond pulling Aqua out of the darkness, beyond restoring Ventus’ lost heart to him, did he even deserve to wield such a weapon?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“However, if you decide you would no longer like to train as a Keybearer, you are permitted to leave with whatever knowledge that you currently possess, on the condition that you continue to protect the World Order as every retired Keybearer has done so before you. Additionally, you must vow never to reveal yourself to be a retired Keybearer, and that you shall only draw your Keyblade in circumstances where a world shall perish without it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something about the thought makes Terra squirm. Maybe it’s the idea that all of Master Eraqus’ work, all of those years spent raising and training him to be a Keybearer will have gone to waste, or maybe it’s the idea that Ventus and Aqua would continue on without him, live as Keybearers and eventually Keyblade Masters without him. Something about it makes his guts twist and his heart ache. But despite the thoughts that they would be alone without him, knowing Sora, Riku, Kairi, Axel, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and so many others he has yet to properly meet would be at their sides soothes him. They wouldn’t be alone, even if he retired himself from being a Keybearer. And all of those years spent training him would have been a waste, yes, but at least his time spent training Aqua and Ventus alongside him would not be going to waste. And finally, he would be out of everyone’s hair. No more guarding his bedside while he recovers, no more worrying about whether or not he would be consumed by darkness again, no more staining Master Eraqus’ name and legacy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something about his second option seems so much more preferable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra opens his mouth to answer, already settling into the idea of retiring and retreating elsewhere to live a private, secluded life where no one could ever be hurt by him again. A knock on the doors behind him and the sounds of someone entering interrupts him before he can answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry to interrupt, Master Yen Sid, but I need to speak with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aqua?” is what comes out of Terra’s mouth instead, and he turns to look at her over his shoulder. She stands just within Master Yen Sid’s study, still wearing loaned cotton pyjamas until the Good Fairies finish the repairs on her old outfit. She doesn’t look back at him, her eyes focused entirely on Master Yen Sid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand.” Master Yen Sid murmurs, before he clears his throat. “Terra, Axel, Kairi. You are free to go for the time being. And Terra, think well upon the choice you have before you. Know that I will not fault you for choosing to retire, nor will I force you to return to your training. Please confer with me about your decision as soon as you’ve reached one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, Master Yen Sid. Thank you, Master Yen Sid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra turns back to bow respectfully before him before he turns to head towards the door. Aqua’s hand brushes against his, and he falters when he passes, grabbing hold of her hand and squeezing gently before leaving, Axel and Kairi close on his heels. Or at least as close as Axel can get. Though their romp through the Realm of Darkness ended more than a week ago, Axel’s wounds still haven’t fully healed. According to the doctor Master Yen Sid had ordered him to visit, his wounds wouldn’t be properly healed for another week or so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks back over his shoulder as Axel chases after him as quickly as his limping hobble allows him, with Kairi right at his side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you planning to do?” Kairi asks him as soon as they catch up. Terra shrugs and slows his pace just enough that Axel could manage to keep up with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m not exactly sure what I want to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, what does your heart tell you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra pauses on a step for a brief moment before he starts climbing downwards again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I don’t think I should listen to my heart on this one.” he admits softly. Behind him Axel practically yelps, and soon after Kairi is at his side, looking up at him with big, bright blue eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not? What does your heart tell you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t say what his heart tells him. He knows he can’t explain it to them if he tried to express what his heart felt. Guilt, grief, self-loathing and self deprecation. It all stirs within his heart, no matter how relieved he may be in the moment, no matter how good he might feel today. They wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t know what to tell him. Terra winces as dark thoughts twist inside his head and heart once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, if it means anything to you, I think it’d be nice to have another trainee around.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, Terra winces, but thankfully, neither of them notice as Kairi turns to face Axel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about Sora? He counts as a trainee, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you ever met Sora? Kid gets himself in way too deep, and every time he just pulls magic out of nowhere that fixes everything. No way he counts as a trainee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra tunes them out as they continue to bicker over whether or not Sora counts as a trainee. Instead, he focuses on walking down the stairs and beating back the dark thoughts crowding his head. He can’t think like that, not right now. Though he still knows what his choice is ultimately going to be, he simply can’t retire yet. Not until Ventus is safe. Not until Ventus and Aqua are reunited and recovering. He can’t just lie down and roll over while they’re still apart, while Xehanort still roams around, spreading darkness wherever he goes. While Xehanort still walks, neither Aqua nor Ventus are safe. And once Xehanort has been dealt with, all that’s left would be to deal with himself. Retiring to a world somewhere would be a good idea. He’d be out of their hair. He wouldn’t have a chance to hurt them as a retired Keybearer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’d be safer without him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t even realize he’s made his way down every flight of stairs until he’s halfway to the front doors, watching them as they swing open. In the doorway stands a man Terra barely recognizes, short and scrawny, with messy black hair and massive circular glasses. Judging by his briefcase, clipboard, and the stethoscope draped around his neck, he thinks the man might be a doctor, but the way he seems to carry himself like an explosion is about to go off any moment says otherwise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra squints at him, confused, and when the doctor notices him, he shrinks back into his skin, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“M-Mr. Terra… I-It’s good to s-s-see you up and about l-like this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All Terra can do is blink in confusion. Vaguely, he thinks he remembers this man to be the doctor that had tended to his recovery throughout his time spent in a false coma, and the one who prescribed him all of those awful hydrotherapy exercises, but he can’t be too sure. Axel is the one who seems to really perk up at the sight of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, hey there Doc! Come by for another inspection?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man before them nods, though it seems to jostle his glasses too much for his liking, as he’s set on adjusting them once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-Yes. I-I was contacted by a M-Mister…. Mister Sid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know Master Yen Sid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hesitantly, the doctor nods. He seems far more nervous about discussing this than he did introducing himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I… I suppose there’s n-no harm in telling you, being worldhoppers y-yourselves, but m-my expertise of healing d-deals mostly with b-battle wounds and di-different types of c-c-cultural medicines. I-I’ve healed many w-worldhoppers before, and a-at the behest of M-M-Mister Sid, I-I swore most of m-my trade to secrecy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can only nod slowly, uncertain of how a man like him would wind up tending to the wounds of World Travellers. Beside him, Kairi whispers an awed and drawled “Wow”. Terra takes this as his chance to slip out of the castle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was nice to speak with you.” he says to the doctor, offering a shallow bow. The doctor scrambles and bows back to him, stuttering an affirmation or the likes, and before Kairi or Axel can protest, Terra is out the front doors. He doesn’t walk fast- really, there isn’t any need to- but he certainly isn’t leisurely. It isn’t that he dislikes spending time with Axel or Kairi, truly it isn’t. But being badgered about the dark thoughts that continue to brew inside him, knowing that neither would understand is something he would rather not deal with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, Terra finds himself a secluded and respectably warm and dry spot in the grass to sit himself down. The early morning light is warm on his skin, and in the distance, Terra can see sunlit forests stretching for miles. It’s a comforting sight, he thinks. Seeing the forests like this reminds him of the Land of Departure. Though it was a small world, it had many valleys and mountains, and each of them had forests on, in, or somewhere nearby them. From the forecourt, Terra could always hear the birds sing, even in the winter. As far away as he is now, Terra can’t hear the birds sing. The mountains are fewer on this world Master Yen Sid has taken residence on, and there’s barely a dip in the landscape where something akin to a valley sits. But it reminds him of home nonetheless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His former home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tries to push the bleak thoughts away, tries to focus on happier memories of sitting on the cliff summits and the edges of the forecourt, but the thoughts keep tumbling back to him, souring fond memories until all he can focus on is the bleak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Land of Departure is no more. Terra had seen it, had watched its light blink out before his very eyes. Somehow, Xehanort, in all of his ancient knowledge and power, had managed to destroy the Land of Departure, sending it careening into the darkness. Terra’s home, his <em>life</em> before this enormous mess had even begun had been completely eclipsed and erased from the star maps. If he were to retire, he could not return to his home. Even in the best case scenario, where the Land of Departure could be salvaged from the darkness, Terra couldn’t return to it as his home. No doubt Ventus and Aqua saw the castle and its world as their home. If he were to remain away from them, to keep them safe from himself, he couldn’t return. That part of his life is over, something he could never have again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But if not the Land of Departure, then where?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were countless worlds within the Greater Known World itself, and no doubt there would be countless others beyond the most travelled regions of space. Eraqus had only taught them of a handful, and before sending them out to deal with the Unversed, they had travelled to even less. If he were to retire, and settle somewhere else, where in the World would he even choose? A small part of him mentions that Destiny Islands would be a good place to settle. It was quiet, calm, always warm, and there were enough islands that Terra could certainly find a small one all for himself. But he pushes the thought away. He can’t move there either. He would be too close to Sora, Riku, and Kairi. Through his actions, they too had to suffer at Xehanort’s hands. He couldn’t ask them to share a world with him, not after that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Part of him considers asking Master Yen Sid or Master Merlin for advice. They were older, wiser, and more travelled than anyone Terra knew. Surely they would know of a world that Terra could seclude himself on. Letting them know where he would be retiring would likely be a good thing, too. Easier to keep an eye on him, should he ever do anything that may cause harm again. Then again, being the old, batty wizards they are, they were probably just as likely to respect his privacy, and instruct him to ‘go wherever his heart leads him’. At the very least he could picture Master Merlin advising him that, and Master Yen Sid nodding quietly in agreement. Traitorously, his thoughts mention that he should retire to Zootopia, wherever that world was. Though it sounded a little strange, it must have held Master Merlin’s attention for a reason.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snapping out of his thoughts, Terra looks up and around. Coming from the direction of Master Yen Sid’s tower is Aqua. Finally she’s out of her loaned cotton pyjamas, and though her outfit isn’t exactly the same as it always had been, the sight of her signature shorts and sleeveless top makes his heart warm with nostalgia.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Over here!” he calls to her, and when she turns towards him, he raises a hand and waves her down. She’s quick to trot over to him, looking more and more herself by the day. She sits down beside him, and Terra doesn’t complain. Aqua’s company had always been welcome, just as Ventus’ and Master Eraqus’ had been. She sits with her legs bent and her arms resting atop her knees. And sitting just like that, they share a silence that’s neither uncomfortable or unbearable. It’s nice to sit beside her again, nice to simply enjoy the warmth of the day with her again. They’d spent countless hours in the forecourt together with Ventus, sparring and practising and causing whatever mischief the three of them could get into that day. They were good memories, ones Terra didn’t mind invading his mind for a while. And it was some time that he sat and reminisced before Aqua finally breaks the silence, clearing her throat and looking at him expectantly. When she doesn’t immediately speak, Terra lifts an eyebrow at her. She chews on her lip for a moment, before she finally gathers her courage to speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I might do something that will get me in trouble.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sudden confession startles a laugh out of Terra, but he doesn’t give her a chance to be offended.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever it is you’re about to do, I want in.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tfw your very serious and by the rules friend offers you a chance to break the rules without her giving you that disappointed mom look. aqua is a lil steamed and shes about to do something that is very Against Yen Sid's Orders:tm: and i for one am very wiggly and excited about it!</p>
<p>and just because i hit 50k on nano, that doesnt mean ill stop writing this! hopefully this enthusiasm will carry me to the end of this fic. i have like.... tiny epilogue chapters already forming in my head that i just, really wanna share, thatll also probably tie off a particular loose end i just kinda left hanging earlier on, but we'll see how long it takes!</p>
<p>i hope yall enjoyed!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Arrival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Something is off. It isn't quite right.</p>
<p>This world is strange and lifeless, but every inch of him feels like it should live.</p>
<p>Fog shrouds the world, but every inch of him feels there should be a sun to burn it away.</p>
<p>Standing before the great, twisting castle, Terra feels like he should recall where he's seen it before.</p>
<p>He knows he's never encountered this place before, neither before his fall nor after his awakening. But something hiding deep down in his heart tells him he's seen it all before. He just needs to remember.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i ended nano at like, 51k words. pretty killer!<br/>the last three days for me has been hell. that is not very epic.<br/>im sick of looking at this, but have this chapter that i was supposed to post yesterday and then fell asleep on! i hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This coat isn’t exactly the right fit.” she mumbles as Terra zips the zipper all the way up her front.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t help it if I have bigger shoulders than you, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then perhaps you would like to explain to me the three years you spent eating everything in sight?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you really still mad that you’re not the tallest anymore?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I am.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can’t help but snort a laugh, and Aqua snorts a laugh of her own. With the zipper properly done up and the clasps in place, Terra takes a step back to look her over. Aqua is absolutely swimming in all of the black leather. It hangs off of her shoulders, the sleeves drape down past her hands, and the hem of it bunches up around her feet where it sits on the ground. He chokes on a laugh that threatens to bubble out of his chest, and Aqua raises an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe we can roll the hem and the sleeves up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She huffs good naturedly at him and begins on rolling up the sleeves so that her hands aren’t covered by the long leather sleeves. Terra kneels in front of her, and ever so carefully he begins to roll the bottom hem of the coat upwards, doing his best to fit it as nicely as he can. Well, as nicely as a coat one size too big can really fit someone. It doesn’t take long before the bottom and the sleeves are rolled up. And again, Terra chokes on a laugh. The black coat, though strange, had a sleek look to it, all smooth edges and simple leather stitching. The rolled up edges serve to make it look even goofier on Aqua.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you’re certain this thing is a natural darkness repellent?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s what Master Yen Sid assured me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua sighs as she tugs at the black coat, no doubt trying to make it a little bit more comfortable. “This would be so much easier if I had my armor and Stormfall.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, Terra hesitates. He knows it’s a loaded question to ask what happened to them, and he knows that if he were to ask where they were it would strike a sore point in her heart. To be separated from one’s Keyblade for so long… Terra could barely remember his scattered mind holding onto Ends of the Earth. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be unable to summon his Keyblade. The curiosity eats at him, but he knows it wouldn’t be best to ask. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” he asks instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua hesitates for a moment before she nods, but the hesitation is all Terra needs to know. He opens his mouth to speak, to try and comfort her, but he doesn’t have the chance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra? Aqua?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both flinch at the sound of Kairi’s voice. Looking over his shoulder, he catches sight of the young Keybearer standing just outside the front doors leading into Master Yen Sid’s tower. Behind her, he can see a glimpse of fire red hair and black leather. He turns back to Aqua, who looks a little ashen in the face. They have no time to talk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ready as I’ll ever be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her voice had wavered when she spoke, but  Aqua is the first to summon the Master’s Glider. Though momentarily distracted by the familiarity of Master Eraqus’ Glider, Terra follows suit, summoning his own Glider and climbing astride it with practiced ease. Behind him, Terra can hear Kairi’s startled shout, but he doesn’t give it any thought, and neither does Aqua. They’d done this countless times as children and teenagers, more times than Master Eraqus had ever wanted them to without him around to supervise. Taking off right next to Aqua comes so naturally that he barely realizes they’re off the ground and charging towards the atmosphere until Aqua kicks a leg out and knocks at his Glider with her foot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra! Your armor!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it certainly wouldn’t have been the first time he’s forgotten to engage his armor before taking off, either. A quick tap and readjustment, and just as they breach the atmosphere, Terra is sitting astride his Glider in his armor, wiggling to adjust his seat just right. In the corner of his eye he can see Aqua pull the hood up over her head and tighten the drawstrings. She seems no worse for wear, escaping the pull of the world’s gravity and Light into the darkness that haunts the Lanes Between, though her eyes start to water when she glances over at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Follow me! It’s this way!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nods, and when Aqua turns sharply on Master’s Defender, he turns and follows right on her heels, soaring through the stars in her wake. And this too, draws upon an incredible feeling of nostalgia within his heart. Though they had never left the Land of Departure more than a handful of times before their Mark of Mastery, seeing Master’s Defender sailing the cosmos before him as he clings to the saddle and handles of his own Glider reminds him of times when he was much younger. It reminds him of times before Aqua could summon her own Glider, her little armored arms wrapped tight around Master Eraqus’ steel waist as they flew, with Terra flying close behind. Memories of chasing after Aqua and Ventus on their own Gliders surface. They would zip around all through the skies of the Land of Departure when Master Eraqus wasn’t looking. Between the massive chains holding parts of the world together, over mountain summits, through valleys, doing spins and rolls and whatever other kinds of tricks they could one-up the others with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can’t help himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He twists the handles of his Glider a little bit harder and leans, tucking himself close against the saddle and front end of his Glider. He shoots past Aqua in an aileron roll, just barely missing the extended wing of the Master’s Glider. Somewhere behind him, Aqua yelps, and he can’t help but laugh. He pulls back sharp on the handles of his Glider and flips his Glider back to fly next to her. She seems to decide she doesn’t want that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra watches as she digs her heels into the sides of the mechanical beast and purposely lurches. The entire Glider shifts with her, flying in a smooth barrel roll over and around him. When she comes back down beside him, the hood of the black coat has fallen back, but she doesn’t seem to notice, not beyond her own grin and laughter. Terra isn’t one to be outdone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra copies her moves, clinging to his Glider and lurching into a barrel roll. He does three of them around her as she flies, and at the end of the third one he spins in a few aileron rolls before finally straightening out again. He glances back at Aqua after. She’s pulled the hood of the coat back up, but even in the shadows it casts over her face he can see the twinkle in her eye and the grin on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Back and forth they perform quick strings of spins, rolls, and loops, goading one another on to out-do the other. It’s probably the most fun Terra’s had in years, competing with Aqua in a pointless competition of who can do the cooler series of Glider Maneuvers. Master Eraqus hated their competitions, no matter how much they had helped them improve their flying, but back then, neither of them could stop. It’s difficult to stop now, too. Only when a particular barrel roll jostles Terra from the saddle do they stop. Truthfully, hanging upside down from his Glider by only the handles isn’t as fun for Terra as it seems to be for Axel. He much prefers being on his Glider rather than watching it sail away into the cosmos without him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From there, they sail side by side through the stars, headed towards whichever destination it was that Aqua had in mind. His heart still races, and his body still trembles with the thrill, but his mind feels calm. After trying to out-do one another, trying to show off who has better control and who has the more impressive set of Glider Maneuvers, Terra somehow feels at peace. It’s almost as if he’s found something he lost a long time ago. Even as the thoughts of his future begin to creep back into his mind, he finds that he feels okay. Good, even. As they fly in comfortable silence, Terra glances at Aqua. A smile still sits on her face, but her eyes are weary, and her elbows look like they’re shaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure you’re okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua looks up at him, the weary look gone and her arms stiffening. She blinks at him, and when it becomes clear she hadn’t heard him, he asks her again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you feeling all right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua glances away at his prodding, suddenly very focused on their path. Terra scrambles for something to say when she doesn’t respond.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay if you’re not okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just… Worried, is all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she trails off, Terra does his best to infer what she means by it, pulling at straws in his own head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this about your Keyblade? Or the darkness in the Lanes Between?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m worried about Ventus. What if he isn’t there anymore?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s a strong kid. Even if he did wander off, I’m sure he’s okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It seems that was the wrong thing to say. Terra mentally kicks himself when Aqua’s shoulders hunch up and her eyes shift downwards. He’d said that about a lot of things many years ago. Many years ago, he had been a naive and hopelessly optimistic fool. And maybe he still is, no matter what had happened many years ago. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In the darkness, sometimes all I could think about was what could go wrong,” she breathes, and Terra strains to hear it over the hum of their Gliders. “It must have started happening after a week or two, but eventually I… I started hallucinating. It was little things at first, like seeing the sun and hearing birds. But then I started seeing you and Ventus. I’d see the two of you walking and turn a corner, or hear your voices when there was no sound. At the beginning, all I would do is chase those hallucinations, hoping they were real, that you two had found a path out of the darkness.” He can see her grip at the Master’s Glider a little bit tighter, see the way the skin around her eyes and nose crease. “But I was wrong. Every time I thought you were there, you would disappear into thin air right before my very eyes. No matter how fast I ran, or how hard I fought, you would always disappear. And one day I wondered if my life was just a hallucination I had dreamed up. Every time I hallucinated you, I kept wondering if you and Ventus were real, if I’d made the right choices, if I’d actually done what I thought I did. Even now, I wonder if it’s all real, or if I’ll just wake up again in the darkness…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost without thinking, Terra swerves closer to her, close enough to bump into the Master’s Glider and give it a jolt. Aqua yelps in her seat, scrambling to keep her balance and right herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra! What was that for?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t be fake if I can knock you around, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though the looks she initially gives him is sour and frosty, her expression slowly melts into an exhausted fondness. He reaches one hand out to her, and she meets him halfway, placing her palm in his. He grips her hand tight, and gives it a firm squeeze. And though he knows she can’t see past the tint of his helm, he smiles at her, and she smiles back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise I won’t be disappearing on you.”</span>
</p>
<p>A promise he knows he won't be able to keep. </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though it’s a difficult position for the both of them, they keep their hands together, holding tight onto one another as the stars finally begin to fade and a new world begins to rise in front of them. Only when the world, small as it is, draws near do they finally let go of one another. Something about it feels wrong. Even through his armor he can feel light and dark staining the world, just like he could on Radiant Garden, but this world itself feels neither light nor dark. There’s something inherently neutral about it, something stale, as if it hasn’t moved in years. The neutrality feels familiar, but nothing else does. He braces himself as they breach the atmosphere of the world, and beneath the atmosphere feels no different. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes some time for them to finally touch down on the world through the thick fog that covers it, and it takes him a few moments more to dismount and dismiss his Glider compared to Aqua. The world is painted in greys and blues, motes of ash suspended within the grey fog covering the world. It’s unnerving, seeing everything like this, and even more so when he finally dismisses his armor. Through the fog he can see the ground, dusty and lifeless as it is, and perhaps only a few yards around him are clear enough to see. Everything else is dark and dreary and overcast. He glances worriedly at Aqua. If the dark atmosphere of the place is giving him the heebie-jeebies, there’s no doubt it’s giving Aqua them too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite everything, she looks undisturbed, almost as if she fits right into the world and its washed out landscape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure this is where you hid Ventus?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the place.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost immediately she’s off, marching forwards into the fog in a direction Terra can’t figure out. It’s all he can do to scramble after her and keep pace, avoiding any fallen rocks and overturned stone taking up space on an ancient, deadened path. She begins to pull at the black coat, undoing the clasps and tugging at the zipper. Terra eagerly catches it when she tosses it back to him, and with just a little bit of futzing and a helping hand from Aqua as they walk, Terra slips right into the black coat, armor sliding on overtop the skinnier sleeve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s unfair that you fit into that coat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her words startle a bark of laughter from him, and despite how uneasy this world makes him feel, he can’t help but laugh hard and long, straight from his belly and chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long are you going to be upset about my growth spurt?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Until the day after the Greater Known World as we know it ends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a brief second, Aqua pauses and squints at him. Terra turns to face her, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at her. She scowls hard at him and says “I think you might have grown a little more, too.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She startles another laugh out of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All right then, when we get back, we’ll each measure ourselves.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be eternally spiteful if you’ve grown another three inches.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who knows? Maybe Ventus will have finally gotten his growth spurt? Maybe he’ll be even taller than Master Eraqus was?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua lets out a heavy groan and continues walking forwards, and Terra falls into step beside her, laughing all the while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything is so unfair. Why couldn’t <em>I</em> have been the tallest?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can thank my mom and pop for that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t even know who they are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, neither do you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re the worst.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So are you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua sticks her tongue out at him, and he does the same in retaliation. It lasts all of three seconds before they both break into grins and giggles. It’s been so long since their last light-hearted argument, so long since Terra felt like he was back home, when everything was so much simpler. Slowly, he realizes how much he’ll miss this once everything is said and done. He’ll miss the easy teasing and the light-hearted banter. He’ll miss walking and talking with Aqua, helping Ventus practice for his future Mark of Mastery exam, impressing the both of them with his slightly above-average cooking in the mornings when the Master was out. He’ll miss all of it so very dearly, but it’s something he’ll have to give up is he wants to keep the two of them safe from himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra trips over a piece of rubble hidden in the plain, ashen earth, and the entire time he staggers and pinwheels his arms, he can hear Aqua snorting with laughter nearby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You must be thinking really hard.” she intones, and he can feel his face start to heat up a little bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just, trying to keep my mind sharp. For the next exam and all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He says it as if he's planning to attempt another Mark of Mastery exam and not planning out an early retirement instead. Mentally, he slaps himself while Aqua hums a thoughtful note.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, maybe you should think a little bit more about the now,” she says, slowing to a stop. “We’re here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Aqua points forwards, Terra finally looks at where exactly they’ve been walking the entire time. Before them is an enormous castle, painted in dull greys and blacks. Spires stick up out of the earth in nonsensical directions. Towers are twisted out of the main building on their sides, and from the tops of them reach smaller towers. There’s light within the barred windows, but it’s weak and shines a sickly yellow onto the stone of the castle it can reach. How he hadn’t noticed it is beyond him. Sure, there’s thick fog, but the hulking shape of the distorted castle is big enough to see through it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything about it twists his guts in a strange array of emotions. Beside him, Aqua seems as calm as ever, her expression even creeping into relieved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ven… We’re home.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>listen, not to be a basic bitch, but i cant stop thinking about terraqua. its not gonna happen in this fic but i keep thinking about them and then some friends of mine whipped out this really sweet au with xion and ansem sod being friends and describing emotions to one another like theyre trying to decipher what feelings mean what, and the entire time i was writing this chapter, i couldnt stop thinking about xemterraqua. so like. i might leave this for a lil bit again and just start another fic that i really shouldnt start. i already have too many wips. but damn dude, i wanna write xemterraqua real bad. also highkey thinking about vanitas a lot.</p>
<p>i just really like the bbs cast, if you cant tell LOL</p>
<p>in other news, the lads are out to wake up ventus against yen sids orders, because im an impatient bitch, but ALSO because aqua is one too. i hope y'all enjoyed terra and aqua zippin around and making fun of one another, and also aqua's infinite salt about being shorter than terra because big mood i am absolutely projecting that onto her LMAO</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>All at once, Terra has everything he once had again.</p>
<p>His home, no longer rend into pieces by the darkness.</p>
<p>The castle, no longer twisted and soulless.</p>
<p>Aqua, safe and snarky at his side.</p>
<p>And Ventus, a bundle of energy and smiles.</p>
<p>It certainly wasn't an easy fight to get here, but Terra is glad he fought for it all the same.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>now that nano is done, i have like no motivation to write lmao. i just dont have the same passion. but im still wildly in love with my faves and even though its slow going, im out here having a great time writing it. this chapter turned out to be a really fucking long one, and admittedly, im super sick of looking at it, but it was definitely fun to write it. i hope yall enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All Terra can do is drop his jaw and stare in awe as Aqua unlocks the heart of the castle with Master’s Defender. The light that shines from the magic Aqua casts parts the fog before them, offering up a perfect view of the projected image that melts into focus on the castle walls. It’s hard to see exactly what the image is with the towers and walls and spires all snarled and twisted, but there’s no mistaking what it is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Terra can even move to speak, the whole world seems to rumble and shake beneath them. Far faster and more forcefully than a building of any kind should move, the twisted spires and towers begin to shift through the earth as if they sat on pieces of a slide puzzle. Bit by bit the castle returns to its original state, stone and steel grinding and shifting and spinning. Enormous golden chains are born from the very air itself, it seems, and they attach themselves from the shifting world to the shifting castle. It feels as if it takes forever before the castle finally settles, and when it does, the projected image on the castle front damn near explodes into a brilliant flash of light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Terra’s sight finally refocuses, the cloud cover has blown away and the sun shining down has burned away any trace of the fog that had once remained. Before them stands the castle they had grown up in, looking just as it had over a decade ago with clean paint and glittering golds and silvers and bronzes. And though the world around them is still bleak, barren of green, the sight of the castle itself is more than enough to transport Terra back in time for just a moment. For just a moment he feels like a child all over again, orphaned and lost, looking up at the enormous castle that his new father told him he would live in with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears fall from his eyes before he even realizes they’re forming, and a warm hand cups his cheek and rubs at the wetness beginning to stain them. Jerking back into the present, Terra looks down at Aqua as she wipes at his tears with her thumbs, a warm and tired smile on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No crying yet, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra smiles back at her and nods, raising a hand of his own to rub at his eyes and banish the rest of the tears still threatening to fall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra takes a moment to suck back the snot threatening to run out of his nose, and ignoring Aqua’s soft giggle and whispered “Gross”, he begins the trek towards the castle doors. Aqua is quick to catch up, and for a few steps they’re both quiet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, I kind of like the braid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. It suits you, in a weird sort of way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t… Remind you of <em>him</em>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua hums softly as they begin to ascend the steps leading up to the doors. She reaches a hand out to run her forefinger and thumb down along the braid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all. Now, if you started balding, you would have to wear a wig for the rest of your life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra makes a fake retching sound, grinning all the while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I might cry if I started balding.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you let me help you pick out the wig?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not a chance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua snorts a laugh as they reach the doors. She rests her palms against one of the great doors, and Terra rests his against the other. Together, they push the doors open just enough for them both to slip through, letting them slowly swing shut behind them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The inside of the castle is just how Terra remembers it. The small foyer is a little dark due to the lack of windows, but lanterns along the walls cast enough light to see everything well enough. On either side of the foyer are a few short halls with a set of stairs at the end of both, and right in the center, directly in front of them, are the doors that lead to the kitchen and dining room and pantries. Briefly, Terra recalls all of the times Master Eraqus had scolded him for running through the foyer and into the dining room absolutely covered in dirt and mud and whatever else he had gotten into when he was a child. The Master’s stress only doubled when Aqua joined them, and tripled when Ventus had finally begun to reclaim his personality from memories long lost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra shakes himself out of his thoughts as Aqua moves towards the stairs down the right hall, and he jogs to catch up to her, walking alongside her when he does.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you know that this was the castle?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was the one who made it look like that in the first place.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<em>You</em> made that monstrosity of a castle?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was the one to hide Ven when Master Yen Sid told me his heart was asleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a brief moment, Terra sputters. It’s only when they reach the set of stairs does he find his voice again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That doesn’t explain the castle. How did you do that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh you know,” Aqua intones, a cheeky grin spreading across her face. “It’s a secret technique only Masters know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m calling your bluff.” he retorts, and Aqua laughs, soft and joyously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t really know how I did it. All I remember is wanting to keep him hidden with all of my heart. You know how finicky a Keyblade and its magic is when it comes to the heart.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And that’s a Master’s secret? Flail about with your feelings and hope for the best?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup.” she says, popping the ‘p’ as she says it. It’s enough to elicit a laugh out of him, and Aqua joins in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really missed you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of their ascension is spent in a comfortable silence, warm and familiar. They’d travelled up these stairs countless times before as apprentices, though normally they were only this calm when they were in trouble. Countless races up the stairs to see who could make it to the main ballroom first, countless scoldings for being so impatient and reckless on their way up. Climbing them again at Aqua’s side makes his heart feel so impossibly warm and full. He would be happy if the rest of his life was spent just climbing these stairs with Aqua and Ventus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it’s at the top of the stairs that they finally see what they’ve come here against Master Yen Sid’s orders for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The main ballroom is bright as ever, light shining in from enormous windows on the walls. The gold floors and white walls are just the same as they were when he was a child, stuck inside during the winters and running around the ballroom with Master Eraqus to keep his energy in check. The high ceilings still support the old and tarnishing chandeliers, and way at the back of the ballroom where a few steps ascend a little higher are the three thrones. Intricately carved from a wood Terra had never seen on this little world before and gleaming with a stain Terra could never manage to replicate. And sitting slumped in the throne Master Eraqus used to sit in himself is Ventus, looking every inch like he’s dead to the world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua runs to him first while Terra lags behind, struggling to process his emotions. He remembers Ventus clear as day, his ashy blonde hair and bright sparkling eyes and the never-ending streams of energy. It’s hard to forget the one you’ve seen as a little brother for a good chunk of your life. But seeing him again, over a decade later when everything’s changed so much and things are so different floods Terra with too many emotions to count. Grief, regret, guilt, sorrow, relief, joy, excitement, anticipation. It all squeezes at his gut and his heart and his lungs, strangling him until he finally finds his footing. He jogs to catch up, to reach the throne where Ventus sleeps and Aqua hugs the boy, holding him tight like he might disappear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moment Terra stops beside them and reaches out to take hold of Ventus’ hand is the moment his emotions snap. Tears fill his eyes and fall down his cheeks. He can’t stop them, can’t help it. His family, torn apart by his own foolish deeds so many years ago, is finally back in one place. Ventus still sleeps, his head cradled carefully against Aqua’s shoulder and his hand held in Terra’s own, but they’re together again. They’re all in one place again. And until Terra finally and properly retires, they won’t be separated ever again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sound akin to slush moving like the waves at a beach reaches his ears, and the prickle of darkness souring the air races up his spine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was a neat trick. No wonder no one could find him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra is quick to whip around and face their intruder, ignoring the tears still making his sight swim. He doesn’t need perfect sight to know that voice and the shape of the red and black boy advancing towards them. He can hear Aqua’s sharp intake behind him, can hear her urging Ventus to wake up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw, sorry girlie, but I don’t think a little bit of shaking is going to wake sleeping beauty here that easily.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra’s heart nearly jumps up and out of his throat at the sound of the voice behind him. Before he can even think he’s summoning Ends of the Earth and casting Magnega. The voice yelps. It doesn’t ease Terra’s suddenly racing heart. The sound of more footsteps draws Terra’s attention away from Xigbar and Vanitas to the third intruder, a man he doesn’t recall. The man has long, blunt claws extending from each finger, and they wave nervously when he raises his hands in a submissive gesture. Strangely, his hair seems to fluff up like bird feathers, and his teeth look like they’ve been fused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanna state that, for the record, I don’t want to be here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra nearly jumps out of his skin when a rift of darkness- a Dark Corridor, if he recalls correctly- opens up beside the man. Xigbar exits from the darkness; he’s missing the black coat Terra was warned all of Xehanort’s lackey’s wore, instead wearing a black sleeveless shirt. Xigbar stops right beside the strange man, and promptly slaps him upside the back of his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Quit your whining, beak face. You’ve got a job to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man whines and rubs at the back of his head, mumbling something Terra can only barely hear. Something along the lines of it not being his fault his teeth were fused or something of the sorts. It’s not important, not when the Corridor of Darkness closes and Vanitas stalks ever closer. Beside him, Aqua summons Master’s Defender.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though Aqua’s voice carries strong and clear, both Xigbar and Vanitas seem unshaken by it. The third man cowers a little bit, drawing his hands up closer to his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt your touching reunion,” Vanitas hisses from behind his helm, while Xigbar opens his too-wide mouth and makes a mocking, gagging sound. “But surely you won’t begrudge me a moment with my brother?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra grits his teeth. Static builds up in his arm and Keyblade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get <em>lost</em>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He discharges a Thundaga, one that Vanitas seems to dodge all too easily. He disappears in motes of darkness, and it leaves Terra uneasy. Beside him, Aqua fidgets, no doubt casting her gaze around in search of the missing boy. Vanitas’ voice chimes up from somewhere behind him, and while Aqua whips around to face him, Terra stands firm, staring down Xigbar and the third man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, Venty-Wenty wants to keep sleeping.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He listens as Vanitas heaves an overly dramatic sigh, as Aqua shifts her stance. Before him, Xigbar and the other man haven’t moved, three eyes focused on him with varying degrees of intensity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What am I ever going to do with you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a heartbeat, everything slows down. Aqua leaps from the spot beside him, no doubt at Vanitas standing somewhere behind them. Xigbar’s one, eerily golden eye narrows, and the other man wrings his hands nervously. At the sound of two Keyblades connecting, everything seems to speed up far too quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xigbar lunges at him, arrowguns at the ready, while the other man jumps back and out of range. Terra barely manages to raise his Keyblade in time to block the heavy thrust Xigbar makes at him with his drawn arrowguns, and somewhere to his left Aqua lands, Keyblade at the ready with Vanitas following close behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You better settle down there, <em>Master</em>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the corner of his eye, he can see Vanitas launch himself at Aqua, and Aqua skid back with the force of blocking his strike.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eyes on <em>me</em>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sharp edges of one of Xigbar’s arrowguns nails him in the right side of his face. Pain explodes outwards from his jaw and his cheek, rattling through his skull and down his neck. He takes a few wild swipes with his Keyblade, aiming an Ars Solum at Xigbar’s middle. The man leaps away from him before any real damage can be dished out, but Terra feels the teeth of Ends of the Earth snag on Xigbar’s shirt. With his eyes watering and one of them squeezed shut, Terra grips Ends of the Earth in both hands and charges at him, flames igniting on the blade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a vicious swing at Xigbar, but the man easily sidesteps. Somewhere off to his right side, something hard and *wet* hits Terra right in the side, tossing him away like a ragdoll. He lands heavy on his side, but the partial winding doesn’t stop him from scrambling back to his feet in search of what hit him. Having to turn his head a little bit more than normal just to see what his shut eye normally sees is a nuisance, but a small one at best. Xigbar stands where he was when he was attacking him, loading his arrowguns with what Terra can only assume are energy bolts. And father off behind him is the third man, standing near the wall and strumming madly on an instrument. If he wasn’t in the middle of a fight, and if his every chord wasn’t controlling what looked like clones of himself made of water, Terra would have thought the music was excellent. For now, it’s nothing more than another variable to this fight that Terra will have to try and factor in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, kid,” Xigbar hums as he finishes loading his arrowguns. “That coat of yours looks awfully familiar.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra shifts his stance as Xigbar flicks his arrowguns, an audible click coming from each of them. When the man looks up, his eye looks like it’s practically glowing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t you give me back my coat, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra just barely manages a startled blink before he’s rushed on all sides by watery figures. And despite being made of water, the figures hit hard. The guitar-like instruments they each carried felt just as solid as the real deal would, and after a particularly brutal hit to his spine, the blows leave Terra completely winded and struggling for breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All around him, the watery figures burst into staticky mist as a particularly brutal Thundaga spell strikes them. And while it’s relieving to be out of the watery equivalent of being beaten by a circle of sticks, it certainly doesn’t protect him from the neon purple bolts Xigbar fires at him. Three of them Terra manages to deflect, and another two strike him in the leg and arm. Another something heavy hits him directly in the back and through sheer determined stubbornness alone does Terra remain on his feet. Aqua, scrambling to regain her balance against Terra’s back, presses her own against his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look how sweet,” Vanitas coos in a sickly sweet voice somewhere behind him. “The useless puppet and the child Master standing back to back, like they even have a chance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Demyx” Xigbar barks. The man off to the side yelps, and the watery figures all fall to the ground in useless puddles. “Get the boy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“R-Right!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seeing the man- Demyx- run in the corner of his eye strikes something in Terra’s heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ventus.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua practically shrieks Ventus’ name, and though doing his best to keep his gaze focused on Xigbar, Terra raises Ends of the Earth and casts Aeroga over the area where the thrones sit. From somewhere behind him, Terra can hear Demyx yelp and stagger, and Vanitas sigh a deep and heavy sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You take care of this one. <em>I’ll</em> attend to my <em>brother</em>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh man, I <em>really</em> don’t like fighting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s barely a moment to breathe before Xigbar is firing bolts at him again, and from the sounds of it, Aqua has no wiggle room when it comes to fending off the music and the watery figures that obey it. The sound of fire igniting and striking something before fizzling out reaches his ears, and while he blocks and deflects bolts, something squirms anxiously inside him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ven! Wake up! Please!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of fire igniting, striking, and fizzling out causes the hairs on Terra’s neck and arms to stand on end. Some sort of powerful magic goes off behind him, and his whole body shivers with the icy gusts that explode out and around them. Snowflakes, fat and heavy, slowly fall through the air around them. Xigbar doesn’t let up, firing bolt after bolt at Terra. He can’t dodge, lest he risk Aqua being struck in the back with one. And he can’t counter, not with how many Xigbar is firing off so quickly. Xigbar slowly approaches, step by slow and painful step.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something splinters and cracks behind him, and Aqua shouts again. Magic licks up his back as Aqua casts another powerful Blizzard type spell. Demyx yelps. Xigbar still doesn’t let up. He keeps firing bolts, firing with one arrowgun and reloading the other before the one he’s using runs out. Desperation roils inside of him, fear and frustration attempting to squeeze his lungs and strangle him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of magic shattering like glass behind him sends his whole body alight. Inside of him, something snaps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A burst of strange, static energy shoots up Terra’s spine, and in the blink of an eye, enormous, white clad figures begin appearing. Xigbar stops his barrage for only a heartbeat, his eye widening at the sight. Terra isn’t sure what’s happening exactly, but he doesn’t question it. Hundreds of <em>somethings</em> speak to him in his head, asking for commands. Terra focuses on Xigbar, and the white clad figures turn on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The white clad figures need no further instruction. Without preamble, each and everyone attacks Xigbar, summoning ominously glowing cubes and hurtling them at him. To Terra’s frustrated heart, Xigbar’s startled yelp is almost refreshing. Behind him, he can hear Demyx yelp in a far more believable and panicked tone, and Aqua’s battle cry rings in its wake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with both Demyx and Xigbar busy, Terra turns towards Vanitas, power pulsing through his veins. The cocky attitude the boy had before has worn thin. Vanitas runs for Ventus, who still sleeps despite all of the danger and racket. Terra wastes no time, dipping himself into the darkness and streaking after him. It has to be a miracle that Vanitas can raise his Keyblade in time to defend himself against the Fire Strike Terra launches at him after reappearing from the darkness. Terra follows up his Fire Strike with a Confusion Strike, and this time it lands a glancing blow on the boy’s side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Near immediately Vanitas begins to stagger, one hand flying to his helm and the other flailing his Keyblade about before him. Terra jumps back and out of the way of his strikes. A bolt of purple whizzes past his head and in the split second that Vanitas takes to try and find his footing, Terra glances back at the battle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite the magic flaring up and around her, Aqua is hard pressed to fight off both Demyx and the water figures he summons. Beyond them Xigbar is still dancing about, manipulating the space around him to dodge the attacks of all of the white clad figures Terra called out to. He doesn’t know what they are, but he’s relieved that they responded to him and his desires so quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he turns back around, Vanitas has managed to right himself enough to swing in his direction, electricity dancing across his Keyblade. It’s easy enough for Terra to leap into the darkness flowing out of his body, dodging away from the strike and lunging back in with his Ars Solum form. It’s almost terrifying how easily he bats Vanitas away with his Keyblade. It certainly doesn’t stop Vanitas from summoning his own back up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All around them, Unversed begin to crop up out of the darkness. Arch Ravens, Floods, Scrappers, and Bruisers alike begin to fill the halls. It’s almost instinct when Terra calls out to the white clad figures. They waste no time in giving him attention and heeding his desires. The switch from dealing with Xigbar to dealing with the Unversed is seamless, the ominously glowing cubes under their control swerving and spreading out to interfere with whatever Unversed they could find.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That, of course, leaves Xigbar free to do as he pleases.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra turns just in time to look over at Xigbar. The man is already reloading his arrowguns, looking a little worse for wear despite his quick and practiced actions. Somewhere nearby, Demyx sails through the air, his instrument falling from his hands as he lands and tumbles across the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“N-No thanks! This is more than I can play with! I’m out!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra doesn’t stop him from ripping open a Dark Corridor and fleeing, and even if he had wanted to, there are bigger fish for him to fry. Xigbar, having leapt onto a high perch of nothingness, fires down at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He flinches when a barrier materializes right in front of him, and shudders at the sound of the energy bolts smashing against the barrier. Aqua runs up to stand beside him, heaving and panting but looking all the more ready for the rest of the battle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You take Vanitas, I’ll handle him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It only occurs to him that Aqua barely bat an eye at the darkness enveloping him when she runs forwards to face off against Xigbar. He isn’t sure whether or not he should feel thrilled or frightened by the revelation, but he pushes the thoughts away. When he turns, Vanitas is already flying at him, confusion gone and a horrible gurgling cry rising in his throat. It catches him off guard, and Vanitas deals an electrifying strike to his shoulder. For a brief moment, Terra’s arms and lungs spasm against his will. Vanitas rears back to strike at him again. He instinctively throws his arm out, swinging his armored arm up and into Vanitas’ jaw. The clang of metal against metal rattles his skull, but not nearly as much as it seems to rattle Vanitas’. The boy reels back, shaking his head as if that would clear the noise out of his ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something feral and enraged echoes in the boy’s red and black chest, and all at once he charges, calling forth more Unversed from wherever it is he calls them from. He calls out, and the white clad figures respond. They do an excellent job with batting away the Unversed when called, but there’s not nearly enough of them to deal with Vanitas as well. It’s all Terra can do to raise his Keyblade and block what he can.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Floods and Scrappers that manage to make their way through the crowd of the white clad figures crash down upon him like a crashing wave. Little claws and bodies make their way up underneath his black coat, scratching and biting and tearing at whatever they’re able to. Larger mitts pelt his arms and shoulders, grabbing and scratching and rending whatever they could reach in an attempt to unbalance him. Vanitas’ Keyblade is the last to hit, and it hits incredibly hard. With the Floods climbing all over him and the Scrappers yanking at his shoulders and arms, the blow from Vanitas’ Keyblade sends him toppling backwards. Another lance of pain shoots through the right side of his face, right where Xigbar had originally hit him, and another seizes him as he lands on his back, crushing whatever Floods there were on his spine beneath him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vanitas is standing over him before he can blink, his Keyblade raised above his head with the tip pointed directly at his chest. With the Scrappers holding down and tearing at his arms, he can’t raise his Keyblade, and with the remaining Floods tearing into his clothes and searching for skin to rip apart, it’s hard to properly concentrate. Despite the risks of doing so, Terra summons fire forth from within him and spits it up at Vanitas, cringing as stray sparks and flames burn his cheeks and tongue. And despite getting a face full of fire, Vanitas doesn’t flinch, merely shaking his head and plunging the tip of his Keyblade downwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Light explodes from somewhere behind Vanitas, bright enough that it’s blinding even from where Terra lays on the ground. Something about the Unversed hounding him wavers, something fundamental about their very beings. Terra isn’t sure what it is, but when he tugs at his arms, they press down on him harder, pinning him to the ground. How Vanitas’ Keyblade hasn’t pierced his chest yet is beyond him, or at least it is until the light begins to fade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Back off!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something clatters above him, and a great gust of wind blows over him, ripping the presence of Vanitas away from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stopra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fira!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Heat blasts past him, and with the intense wave of heat comes the freedom of moving his arms and legs again. Everything is still fuzzy from the flash of light, but as his sight slowly returns to him, Terra catches sight of a blur of pink and blob of red and black racing over to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra! Are you all right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi. It’s Kairi, and probably Sora, judging by the red he sees. Hands smaller and smoother than his grab hold of him and help him up to his feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kairi, Sora… How did you find us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Master Yen Sid told us where you two were headed, and then Sora came and picked us up in the Gummi Ship!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure you’re all right?” Sora asks him. “You’re… Your eye looks a little messed up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra reaches a hand up to his face to touch at his wounds. Even brushing his finger against it is painful, and when he draws his hand away, blood stains his glove. He stares at it for a moment, focusing on it as his eye finally recovers. He takes a deep breath, and steels himself before replying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be all right. But we should be helping Aqua.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Donald and Goofy already have it covered.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Curious, Terra looks over his shoulder, back at where he last saw Aqua. Sure enough, she, Donald, and Goofy are triple teaming Xigbar, bodying him back further and further while he struggles to keep up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re going to be okay now.” Sora says, but Terra still doesn’t buy it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what about Vanitas?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kairi points over his shoulder, and Terra casts his gaze to where she’s pointing. A little farther away, Vanitas is fending off blow after blow, staggering back one step at a time. And dealing the blows out to him is Ventus, looking as spry and young and full of energy as Terra remembers him to be. There’s no sign of his slumber to him as he casts spell after spell and dishes out swing after swing. It’s only after a particularly powerful strike that the battle seems to finally peter out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vanitas is sent flying back by a strong gust of wind magic from Ventus, and despite all of his struggling to right himself, Vanitas crashes headlong into Xigbar, toppling the man over. Vanitas is the faster of the two to get to his feet, leaping back a few steps as Ventus, Aqua, Donald, and Goofy slowly advance towards them. Xigbar backs away from them as he climbs to his feet, holding onto one arrowgun while the other hand presses hard against his scarred shoulder. It sounds like Vanitas spits, though Terra can’t be certain with his helm blocking his view of the boy’s face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s more Keybearers here than I care to deal with. You’re on your own, old man.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vanitas rips open a Dark Corridor somewhere behind him, and as he turns to retreat into it, Xigbar grabs the boy by the shoulder and shoves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As if. I know when I’m outnumbered, and I’m not a big fan of dying any time soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite his tough words, Xigbar limps his way into the Dark Corridor, followed closely by a snarling Vanitas. And just like that, the Dark Corridor closes and the castle is quiet and untainted by the darkness once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra! Aqua!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra looks up when his name is called, and though he only has his one eye open, he can see Aqua doing the same. Ventus stands in the center of the ballroom, dismissing his Keyblade and a smile spreading across his face. Aqua runs over to him, and with the emotions threatening to squeeze his heart until it pops, Terra does the same. Young, energetic, always happy Ventus greets them with open arms, one of his hands gripping tight at the back of Terra’s black coat when he reaches him. Hugging him, hugging the both of them, feels like home. And though he’s sore and achy and exhausted, Terra wouldn’t have it any other way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning, Ven.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning, Aqua, Terra.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>we're sitting at about 5k words on this chapter, and that is 1000% because i wanted to write more terra and aqua siblings, and because i kept rolling dice for everyone. maybe if im not feeling too burnt out thanks to nano and this chapter, ill do some more writing on the next chapter tomorrow. i have some lil ideas about this stuff that im kinda excited to write, and the prospected epilogue chapter i wanna write for this fic is practically eating me alive.</p>
<p>i also wanna give a shout out to Aquarius8, who must have binge read the entire thing like three days ago and left a comment on practically every chapter i had posted, and while all comments i get make my lil heart feel warm and fuzzy, i was absolutely floored by your excitement and kindness. im so happy yall are enjoying this fic as much as you are. there have been times that i was unhappy with it, but knowing yall love it so much is enough for me to push through those icky times and keep on tippy tapping.</p>
<p>thank you so much for sticking with this for this long. i dont know how many chapters are left to this, but its certainly a lot more than i thought it would be, and i hope yall are still there with me when i finally reach that epilogue chapter i want to write so bad!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. An Eye for an Eye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The day has been hectic. From disobeying orders, to Glider Maneuver competitions, to castles and worlds rearranging themselves, to battles in their home. It's been a long day, and a hard one. He has more wounds that will no doubt take some time to heal, as does Aqua.</p><p>But Ventus is back, bouncing off the walls with a decade's worth of energy to spare. He's sore and exhausted and would like nothing more than to fall back into bed. But for now he'll stay awake, just to enjoy the feeling of having his brother and sister with him for a little bit longer.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i have no words for this note in particular, other than my time is probably going to be divided between this fic and another fic for a bit.</p><p>thats right, i started another fucking fic against all logic and reason. its another terra fic, and another au, but instead of following canon its literally just the result of my brain asking me "what about terra, but he was feral?"</p><p>so i have another terra fic. ill shamelessly plug that at the end of this chapter lmao</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to touch your eye now, okay?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>If Terra’s voice is weak and nervous, Aqua is incredibly kind enough not to mention anything about it. He does his best to hold still as she reaches her hands out towards his face, and he just barely manages to suppress a flinch when her fingers touch the skin of his eyelids. In an attempt to keep himself from squirming, Terra clasps his hands together and squeezes tight, fidgeting his hands instead of turning his head away from the pain her fingers bring. Ever so slowly, he can feel her pry his eyelids open, inch by agonizing inch, and by the time it’s open, his right eye wells up with tears.</p><p>“Can you see anything out of it?”</p><p>Terra focuses, and closes his left eye so that only his right one is open. Despite the tears and the pain of Aqua pressing on his eyelids to keep it open, Terra can still see out of his right eye. Of course everything is foggy from the tears that threaten to fall, but he can see colour and shapes just fine.</p><p>“Yeah… Yeah, I can see out of it.”</p><p>“How many fingers am I holding up?”</p><p>Miraculously, Terra somehow keeps himself from jumping when Ventus’ face and hand pops up from behind Aqua. Ventus almost shoves his whole hand in Terra’s face, but with careful nudging and shouldering from Aqua, Ventus pulls back to an appropriate distance. Terra tries not to squint, he really does, but trying to focus through the tears is incredibly difficult. He can’t help trying to squint, and he regrets it moments later when his eyelids hurt even more.</p><p>“Uh… Four?”</p><p>Ventus’ excited yelp is enough to let him know that he’s guessed right despite the haze of tears, and Aqua takes pity on him by pulling her hands away. His right eye immediately falls shut, and tears streak down his cheek and into his cut. He hisses as he winces, and he tries his best to keep himself from reaching up to rub at his eye with a hand. If Aqua simply holding his eye open hurt, then rubbing at it would be a phenomenally bad idea.</p><p>When Terra reopens his left eye, he watches as Kairi starts plucking at Aqua’s top to see her injuries. Terra graciously turns his gaze away as she begins undoing the laces that keep her top done up, and he winces as Ventus practically bumps into him to avert his eyes as well.</p><p>“Does it hurt?”</p><p>Terra almost chokes on the snort that escapes his nose, and raising one hand, he flicks Ventus in the forehead.</p><p>“I dunno, you tell me.”</p><p>Ventus hums in thought for a brief second. “Yes?”</p><p>“You’re just as sharp as ever.”</p><p>He certainly isn’t as fast as he used to be. Terra catches Ventus around the neck with one arm with ease, and the other hand finds its way to Ventus’ head, his knuckles digging playfully into his scalp. Ventus squirms and laughs, and Terra can’t help the chuckle that bubbles up in his gut. Somewhere behind him, Terra can hear Aqua start laughing too, a little strained but joyful nonetheless. Once Terra’s decided Ventus has had enough, he releases him, only to get shoved in the shoulder.</p><p>“Hey! Yen Sid says that Riku and Mickey are on their way over right now!”</p><p>He’d nearly forgotten that Sora was still here. After he, Ventus, and Aqua had been given a moment to squeeze one another in a bear hug, Sora had run off a few feet to report to Master Yen Sid, Donald and Goofy on his heels. It’d been then, just as he had started to call him, that Kairi and Aqua decided it was time to break things up and get some of the more important wounds dealt with. Looking up now, Terra watches as Sora jogs back towards them, his eyes focused on both him and Ventus. Ventus practically leaps to his feet to meet Sora halfway, looking every inch the excitable child Terra remembers him to be.</p><p>“Mickey’s coming? I haven’t seen him in forever!”</p><p>“Yeah! They’re bringing the rail car with them, so we don’t all have to get packed up in the back of the Gummi Ship!”</p><p>“What’s a Gummi Ship?”</p><p>As Ventus and Sora chatter away at one another, a warm fondness slowly spreads throughout Terra’s body. They both seem to have energy to spare, and talking to one another only seems to excite them more and more and more. Absently, Terra is thankful in Master Eraqus’ stead that the man never had to train the both of them at once. Watching them feed off one another’s energy alone makes something inside Terra feel tired.</p><p>Terra looks up and away when he feels a hand touch his shoulder. He watches with his one eye as Aqua eases herself to sit down beside him, her top back in place and laced up properly. She smiles at him, and Terra smiles back, wincing as his grin pulls at his wound.</p><p>“Will you let me take care of that for you?”</p><p>He doesn’t have to think before he’s nodding. Aqua looks back at Kairi, who he realizes only now has been standing a foot or so away, and she eagerly hands Aqua a roll of bandages and what Terra can only assume is tape before she’s scampering off to join Ventus, Sora, Donald, and Goofy.</p><p>“You’re just as reckless as ever.” Aqua says as she carefully begins to unwind and fold a patch of bandages together. Terra just snorts and lifts one hand to flick at her wrapped arm.</p><p>“I’m not the only one who got all dinged up.”</p><p>Just as he had done to Ventus, Aqua lifts a hand to flick him in the forehead before she’s back to folding.</p><p>“You took more hits than me.”</p><p>“That’s my role, isn’t it? I’m supposed to tank the hits from enemies, aren’t I?”</p><p>“Not when it threatens your eyesight, it’s not.”</p><p>“So I can do it any other time then?”</p><p>Aqua tries to cover a laugh with a cough, but Terra knows her tells all too well, and despite the pain it creates he grins wide and knowing at her.</p><p>“No, you’re not supposed to take hits from the enemy,” she scolds, her voice warm and half-heartedly stern. “Now wipe that smile off your face for just a second. I can’t patch you up right when you’re grinning like a cat that got the canary.”</p><p>“Sure, sure.”</p><p>It’s a lot easier said than done to force himself to stop smiling. With Ventus back at his side, and Aqua standing at his other, it’s hard not to smile like a fool. They’d been separated for over ten years according to everyone around them, and with such a wide gap of time between them, it’s hard to do anything but grin. He pulls it off regardless, forcing his expression into neutrality. And it’s there that he watches as Aqua raises her folded bandages to press them against his face.</p><p>“Could you hold that, please?”</p><p>Though he’d like to nod or reply, he knows that it would likely just shift the bandages around and that he would have to sit and wait for her to fold another batch of bandages to tape to his face. So instead he reaches up and places his fingers where hers are, taking over the job of keeping the bandages pressed neatly to his face. Aqua takes the chance to rip off pieces of the tape, and one by one, she uses them to adhere the bandages to his face. It’s not the most comfortable task, what with the scratch of the gauze and the pressure needed to properly stick it to his face, but once she’s finished and he can pull his hands away, it certainly feels a little bit better. At the very least there isn’t going to be blood dripping down his face and chin the entire time they’re headed back to Master Yen Sid.</p><p>And that thought in and of itself makes Terra cringe.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“How furious do you think Master Yen Sid is going to be with us?”</p><p>Aqua pales, and Terra can’t help but laugh at the sight. She swats at him with a bandaged hand and scowls at him.</p><p>“What’s so funny?”</p><p>“You’re such a teacher’s pet, you know that? Always have to follow the rules."</p><p>Again, Aqua swats at his arm, and again Terra can’t help but laugh.</p><p>“At least one of us follows them.”</p><p>“Not today, you didn’t.”</p><p>And if it’s possible, Aqua pales even further and Terra just laughs harder.</p><p>“Hey, come on. It’ll be just like when we were kids, getting into trouble when Master Eraqus wasn’t watching.”</p><p>“Tracking mud into the foyer and disobeying a Master’s orders are in two different leagues, Terra.”</p><p>“Well, I can get away with it.”</p><p>The disbelieving look Aqua gives him makes his heart feel all warm and fuzzy.</p><p>“Oh yeah? And why’s that?”</p><p>Terra raises one hand, and ever so lazily, he pokes Aqua’s nose.</p><p>“I can just say I was following Master Aqua’s orders.”</p><p>“You’re the absolute worst.”</p><p>And Terra just throws his head back and laughs, long and loud and happy.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I know.”</p><p>For a brief moment, Terra sits in silence with her, listening as Ventus, Sora, and Kairi chatter amongst themselves. Though tired and sore, it’s nice to sit with her, to listen to the other’s talk and laugh and shout with one another. Almost cautiously, Aqua leans up against Terra’s good shoulder- the one that hadn’t taken a direct hit from one of Xigbar’s bolts- and he shifts his arm behind her, propping himself up against her as she lies against him.</p><p>But just like everything else, the quiet doesn’t last for long.</p><p>
  <em> Superior? </em>
</p><p>Terra nearly jumps out of his skin at the voice that echoes in his skull, and when he looks over in the direction opposite to the others, he finds one of those enormous, white clad figures. He had thought they’d all vanished after Kairi and Sora had joined their fray, and yet one stands before him, doing what Terra can only assume is looking down at them. Aqua stiffens against him, but when he does nothing, she slowly relaxes.</p><p>During the battle, Terra hadn’t paid much mind to these figures outside of directing them to change targets. He had been so busy, dealing with Xigbar and Vanitas and that Demyx guy to really pay them any attention. Looking at it now, Terra quickly realizes that it’s not a human he’s looking at. Its proportions are strange, too long and too thin and too big. It doesn’t appear to have legs, nor does it seem to have a real face. It’s arms look like they’re just one enormous sleeve that’s been sewn together, and the entire thing seems to pulse and shift like it’s made out of water.</p><p>
  <em> May I ask a question, Superior? </em>
</p><p>Terra blinks at it, and only realizes that it’s speaking to him when Aqua elbows him in the side.</p><p>“Isn’t this one of those things that helped us?”</p><p>Terra nods, both to Aqua and the figure. The figure shudders a little harder, and Aqua tenses beside him again.</p><p>
  <em> How did you regain your heart? </em>
</p><p>Again, Terra blinks at the figure, and it stares back. Or at least it seems to stare back. It’s hard to decipher what the figure is doing without a face, and just from the way it seems to move. He tries to process the question, tries to understand what exactly the figure means when it says “regain his heart”. Everything comes up blank or jumbled in his head, and Aqua nudges him in the side again, whispering his name harshly under her breath.</p><p>“I don’t know.” he blurts out. The figure shudders again, and for a moment it doesn’t say anything to him again. Only when it shudders again does it speak inside his head.</p><p>
  <em> I understand. Forgive me. </em>
</p><p>And in the blink of an eye, it vanishes into nothingness, strange motes of light and dark tangling and separating before dissolving before him.</p><p>“What was that?”</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>Aqua makes a displeased sound in the back of her throat, and Terra shuffles awkwardly beside her.</p><p>“It was asking about how I… How I regained my heart.”</p><p>“It was talking to you?”</p><p>She sounds incredulous, and Terra feels the same way.</p><p>“Sort of? It was kind of talking in my head?”</p><p>When he glances at Aqua, she looks just as disbelieving as she had sounded. Terra opens his mouth to defend himself, to say something that makes him sound less like he’d been hit too hard on the head. The sound of the grand doors of the castle practically being rammed open and feet pounding up steps catches him off guard, and both he and Aqua turn to face the stairs.</p><p>Riku is the first to make it up the stairs, with Mickey close on his heels, and it seems like the instant the newest Master sees them he makes a b-line directly for them, running over to great Sora, Ventus, and Kairi. Mickey runs off to speak with Donald and Goofy, both who nearly smother Mickey in hugs. And before Terra can think about getting up on his own terms, Ventus is already upon them, excited energy bubbling over as he grabs hold of their hands and tugs on them, urging them to get up.</p><p>“All right, all right, we’re coming.”</p><p>“Give me a break, Ven. You know I’ve got bruised ribs.”</p><p>“Come on! I’ve been asleep forever, and this is exciting!”</p><p>Ventus doesn’t let up, not until both he and Aqua have gotten to their feet, and only then does he let them go. He runs off, back to Sora and Kairi and Riku, and Terra moves to follow. Aqua stops him, grabbing his arm and giving him a little tug. He looks back at her, head tilted in confusion.</p><p>“Ask Master Yen Sid about what that thing was when we get back, all right?”</p><p>For a moment, Terra pauses. Then he smiles, and nods.</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lmao did i get y'all? did i get ya with that eye thing last chapter??? terra is not blind in that eye but it absolutely was more than just battle strategy on xigbars part there. he absolutely punched terra in the eye just because he still remembers the feeling of holding a grudge and being bitter lmao. i also wanted practice for writing excitable lil ventus. lil mans been asleep forever. he should be practically vibrating out of his skin at the chance to just run wild lol.</p><p>the other fic im working on is called Two Worlds, One Family. its another terra fic, like i said, except its a tarzan based au. basically its just me taking a baby terra, yeeting him through space, and forcing him to grow up with tarzan. why? cause i said so. as of posting this chapter, it's only got the one chapter, but ill probably try and post one chapter for this terra fic, and post another chapter for that fic after, and just bounce between them.</p><p>so yeah uhhhhh if you like soft baby fluff of Dadraqus and Baby Terra, maybe go check out Two Worlds, One Family or something, cause i almost made myself cry writing it. i just love them so much dude.</p><p>anyways lmao, i hope yall enjoyed this partial filler chapter!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Good Fortune</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things could have been so much worse. Master Yen Sid could have stripped him of his Keyblade and banished him for his disobedience, and he could have revoked Aqua's rights as a Master entirely. A stern talking to, an order to tend to their wounds, and an escort was a light sentence if Terra's ever heard one. His body aches, and he's tired beyond belief, but for now the excitement is enough to keep him going.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im currently struggling with both my terra fics now. while im writing a chapter for this one, all i can think about is what ill write for the chapter of the other, and when im writing a chapter for the other, all i can think about is what ill write for the chapter of this one. that being said, its definitely an easy problem to deal with, if a lil annoying.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Keeping an eye on Ventus through the glass windows of the rail car was far more nerve-wracking than Terra ever thought it would be. Terra couldn’t say no to him, couldn’t bring himself to deny the excitement that filled Ventus’ lungs and shuddered out through his body. He had been asleep for over ten years, his heart lost and wandering and searching for a way back to its body. Of course he would be full of energy and ready to use it. But with one of his eyes out of commission for the time being, and with Aqua’s hand, arm, and back being as injured as they were, neither of them could join Ventus in his excitement to fly through the cosmos. They had opted to ride the rail car, knowing full well how difficult it is to pilot a Glider when injured, while Ventus had taken to the sky.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To his right, Aqua and Kairi sit on the bench, turned to face one another and speaking softly in low tones. He doesn’t know what they’re talking about specifically, but Terra thinks it’s probably for the best if he didn’t pry. To his left sits Riku, slouched comfortably with his hands folded behind his head and his eyes shut. Riku seemed more content on relaxing in the rail car than engaging with others, and to be perfectly honest, it gives Terra ample time and focus to watch Ventus through the windows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Outside the rail car, amidst the cosmos and aurora from the rails is Ventus. He’s fully suited up in his Keyblade Armor and standing atop his Glider, racing alongside the rails. From the look of things, Ventus is absolutely enjoying it. He doesn’t stop moving- then again, he’s always struggled with sitting still. He spreads his arms for a bit, no doubt feeling the speed of his travels through space, and then he drops them to his sides, lazily gliding about before he crouches against his longboard-style Glider and performing all sorts of tricks and maneuvers. And while all the movement and speed and excitement is doing Ventus some good, Terra can’t help but worry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What happens if there are Heartless beyond the rail car? What happens if Ventus is accosted by Heartless who are specifically equipped for existence between worlds? Would he even be fast enough to activate his armor and summon his Glider to help him? Could he even leave the rail car while it’s in motion? What if he falls from his Glider and is left behind in the cosmos?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Watching Ventus soar and play in the skies is enough to make what little energy Terra has left drain out of his body. It’s no small relief when the world Master Yen Sid has taken residence on comes into view. Their descent is slow and gentle, and Terra watches as Ventus slows alongside the rail car, petering down towards solid ground just in sight. Whether he does it in the view of the windows on purpose or if it’s simply a happy coincidence, Terra isn’t sure, but he’s thankful all the same when they finally touch down and the door of the rail car opens.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Kairi, Riku, and Aqua notice how quick he is to stand and bustle out of the rail car, they graciously don’t say anything about it. Terra strides towards Ventus as the other hops off his Glider and deactivates his armor, and it’s before Terra can even blink that Ventus is already bouncing in place on the balls of his feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We should really fly together sometime. It’s been ages since we all last raced on our Gliders.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And despite the waves of exhaustion that crash over Terra at the thought of racing right now, a smile spread across his face, tugging painfully at his wound and bandages. He wraps an arm around Ventus’ neck and grinds his knuckles into his hair. Ventus is ready for it this time, his hands pushing at Terra’s arms and hands while he tries to squeeze his head out from between Terra’s arm and chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe we can race in a few days.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s more than enough to excite him, and Ventus manages to squirm out of his grasp. Aqua’s voice is falsely admonishing somewhere behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And just what are you promising him, Terra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A race! You’ve gotta join us for the race too, Aqua! It’s no fun without you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know it’s dangerous for us to fly like this, Ventus.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” he intones, leaning back a bit and weaving his fingers behind his head. “But in a few days, when you guys are feeling better. We gotta have a race together, just like old times.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the sound of Aqua’s soft chuckle, Terra’s heart starts to warm, and it grows fonder when Aqua finally enters his field of vision and ruffles Ventus’ hair. Ventus swats playfully at Aqua’s hand, and Aqua swats back at his, a giggle bubbling up in both of their chests. Terra can’t help the laugh that’s starting to rumble up in his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A powerful gust of wind sweeps over the ground nearby, and squinting, Terra turns his head to watch. The bright and blocky ship Sora pilots slowly descends down towards the earth, landing gear unfolding from the bottom of the ship and reaching downwards. Beside him, Terra can just barely hear Ventus’ awed “Wow” over the roar of the engines. He can practically feel Ventus vibrating with curious excitement beside him as the Gummi Ship finally lands and powers down, and it’s only when a hatch opens and a ramp folds out that Ventus takes off, running towards the ramp to greet those within.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Mickey barely have a chance to stretch their legs on the grass before Ventus is right there with them, already chattering away. Sora is way too quick to start chattering back, and once more Terra can feel the exhaustion that seeps into him just from watching the two of them interact. Beside him, Aqua laughs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Imagine what it would have been like if the Master had to raise the both of them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I already have,” Terra groans, smiling all the while. “And I think they really would have given him a run for his money. He barely had the energy to keep up with us when we were kids.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku snorts good-naturedly on his other side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sora would have been a handful all on his own.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra turns to look at him just in time to see Kairi thump a fist against Riku’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You say that like you two don’t feed off of one another’s energy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We were kids.” Riku says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was two years ago.” Kairi rebuts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, we were kids.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was fourteen and you were fifteen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m almost nineteen now!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra can’t help the snorting chuckle that shakes his chest, and by the sounds of it, Aqua can’t keep in her laughter as well. Listening to the two of them bicker with one another warms something deep inside Terra’s heart, something small and nearly forgotten, but incredibly nostalgic. He glances over at Aqua, who’s doing her best to hide her grin behind a hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Sora!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks over at Kairi just as Sora does, with Ventus, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy looking up as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Riku says he can kick your butt in a race!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku splutters beside them, and both he and Aqua struggle to contain their laughter. Sora just hardens, a smile spreading across his face and a competitive glint shining in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll show you just how strong I’ve become, Riku! Race you to the top of Yen Sid’s tower!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the time it takes Riku to choke out a startled “Hey!”, Sora’s already taken off towards the tower, with Ventus shouting about joining in and chasing him all the way over. And it’s in the blink of an eye that Riku starts sprinting after them, shouting that there’s no way he was going to lose. And it’s then that Terra lets it all out. He laughs, loud and long and hard, straight from his gut, and Aqua laughs beside him just as hard, wheezing and snorting when she laughs a little bit too hard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re lucky you only had one when you were growing up,” Kairi says as she begins her trek towards the tower. “I had to grow up with two of them. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but I’ve gotten more shin splints than anyone else on the islands ever had.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That just makes Terra laugh even harder, and the feedback loop from Aqua doubles it. They follow after the others as they approach the tower at a more leisurely pace, and their laughing doesn’t begin to die down until they’ve finally entered the tower and have begun their trek up the steps. Though even the thousands of steps between them and Master Yen Sid’s study doesn’t seem to slow their laughter much. It might make him feel more breathless than usual while climbing the stairs, but laughing beside Aqua for as long and as hard as they used to eases the lingering thoughts and choices always sitting in the back of his mind. It’s nice to simply enjoy little things like this after going so long without them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a shame it has to end so soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they reach the double doors leading into Master Yen Sid’s study, their laughter finally dies. Beside him, Aqua seems to pale, turning whiter than she had before they had even left against Master Yen Sid’s orders. It’s an immediate reaction for him to reach out a hand and take hold of one of hers. She looks up at him, and he offers her his best smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay. Getting into trouble isn’t so bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smiles back at him, but it’s weak and her face remains ashen. She gives him a fond little shove before they both follow Mickey, Kairi, Donald, and Goofy into the study. Sora, Riku, and Ventus are already in the study, with Axel hanging around in a corner nearby. Sora and Ventus are busy telling Master Yen Sid of the tales they’ve had, reporting both on their return to the tower and throughout the years, which Terra finds strange. Had Ventus’ heart not been lost and wandering? The way they both speak makes it seem like Ventus had been awake all this time and travelling with Sora, but Aqua had assured him that his heart was lost, and that his body had been safely sealed away. His confusion doesn’t have the chance to manifest itself. When a rare pause presents itself amidst Sora and Ventus’ chatter, Master Yen Sid looks up at the both of them, and Terra can feel all the blood drain out of his face and sink into his chest from the way his eyes harden alone. He braces for impact when Sora and Ventus turn to look towards them, confusion on their faces.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terra. Aqua.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra takes a strong step forward, stronger than he would have thought he could. Aqua does the same beside him, though she’s a mere heartbeat behind. The disappointment that radiates off of Master Yen Sid is enough to dampen Sora and Ventus to the point that they retreat backwards, out of the way of Master Yen Sid’s ire. It leaves both him and Aqua exposed to take the brunt of his disappointment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You both deliberately disobeyed my wishes for you to remain within the tower. Aqua,” he says, eyes turning onto her. “You have only just begun to recover from your extensive time weathering the Realm of Darkness. Though it has been a week, your body still needs time to rest. Ten years worth of damage does not simply vanish in the span of five days or less. I expect more out of Eraqus’ final appointed Master.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beside him, Terra can just barely make out the way Aqua bows her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Master Yen Sid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you, Terra.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stiffens when Master Yen Sid turns his hard gaze onto him, and he does his best to remain as alert and unashamed as possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Though your wounds had long since healed from your struggle in reclaiming yourself, I had hoped you would know better than to galavant off into the unknown, given the Organization’s repeated attempts to capture and subdue you. Though you have proven your strength and will through the reclamation of your heart, body, and mind, do not assume that one triumph alone makes you invincible.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Master Yen Sid admonishes him, Terra can feel his resolve under his gaze beginning to crumble, and little by little he feels himself deflate, despite his spine’s rigid protests.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Master Yen Sid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wizened wizard fixes them both with a hard stare, no doubt judging their mettle and the new wounds they bear. But it doesn’t last long. Eventually, the old wizard sighs and leans back in his seat, the tension beginning to ease its way out of his body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That being said, I am more than relieved to find the both of you are in one piece, and that you have recovered Ventus despite the perils that you no doubt faced. As I have said before, it is a relief to see you in good health, Ventus.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Somewhere to Terra’s left, Ventus chuckles and shifts, no doubt crossing his arms behind his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’ll have to try a lot harder if they wanna get rid of me for good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is fortunate that they have not. And speaking of fortune, Master Aqua.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua looks up, and Terra can’t help the glance he sneaks at her before he looks back to Master Yen Sid. Once more, Terra thinks he can catch a trace of exasperation on Master Yen Sid’s face, but it’s gone too quickly for him to really register if it was a real flicker of his expression or if he’s simply imagining things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have received word from our allies on Radiant Garden that something of importance to you has been recovered by an acquaintance of mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beside him, Aqua straightens and gasps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stormfall.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid bows his head in a nod.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It seems, while surveying the depths of the castle and its ruins, that my acquaintance has discovered your Keyblade Armor and your Keyblade. She has told me via writings that she has given your armor a cursory inspection, and that it is in good condition. She has written that both your armor and Keyblade are being held by those at the castle for safe keeping, until you are able to retrieve them yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua breathes in, her mouth open and ready to speak, but Master Yen Sid cuts her off, one hand rising in a placating gesture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Know that I will not forbid you from retrieving what is rightfully yours, but you will be escorted there as well. Given the fact that the Organization knew where both you and Terra were headed, and the wounds they have inflicted upon you, it would be for the best if you went with someone at your side.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra barely realizes he’s spoken up until Ventus speaks himself, bouncing his way into view with a thrilled determination sitting on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll go too! The three of us can watch each other’s backs!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid shakes his head, and something within Terra seems to deflate for a brief moment. He straightens back out when Master Yen Sid speaks once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am afraid the two of you may not be enough to dissuade Xehanort and the Organization from launching another attack. If Master Riku and Kairi would be willing, I would have them join you in your retrieval.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Somewhere nearby, Sora whines about being left behind, but Terra barely registers it. He’s nodding before he can even think, and when he glances around the room to find Riku and Kairi, they too are nodding their agreements. Beside him, Aqua is nodding as well, a hopeful and almost disbelieving glimmer in her eyes. Master Yen Sid sighs again, and settles fully into his seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then it is settled. Master Aqua, Terra, Ventus. Please take a moment to visit the Good Fairies, so that they may tend to whatever wounds you both possess. Master Riku, Kairi, please escort the three of them to Radiant Garden. I expect the five of you to return here once you have retrieved Aqua’s armor and Keyblade.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Master Yen Sid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s almost in unison in which they all speak, and Terra would have laughed if he hadn’t been so excited.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i just really wanted more practice writing excited boy ventus, and i really wanted to write another slow chapter. but ventus for sure is an energizer bunny. he just keeps on going and going and going. same with sora. and riku is no better, even if hes a little more efficient at hiding it lol. next chapter is gonna be more hectic, i think. ive got some ideas for who the five of them will meet at radiant garden, and what kind of castle disrupting shenanigans that will be involved. i hope yall enjoyed this chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. An Unfortunate Meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>If there was someone he wasn't expecting to see, it certainly had to be these two. Terra had thought he had seen the last of the squid-beaked man earlier in the day, had thought this day was winding down. Terra's definitely been wrong before, and instead of anger and panic, all he feels is tired. Doesn't mean he won't raise Ends of the Earth to fight again, though.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ive been screaming and kicking and howling at this chapter for fucking ever, and its taken me so long to actually get it right. and its still a lil off, and not quite as chaotic as i wanted it to be, but its good enough. im so tired of this fucking chapter dude thank god its done. i hope its worth the wait LMAO</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Personally speaking, the amount of sleep Terra feels he’ll need tonight is exponentially growing by the minute. He watches Ventus fidget, watches him wander around to the edges of the group they travel in, ooing and ahing about every building he remembers not having a coat of fresh paint before, and every single vendor and stall selling fruits and vegetables and any amount of ice cream and art. He talks Kairi’s ear off as Kairi talks off his, and he puts Riku’s seemingly discreet and untapped well of energy to shame. And while Terra hasn’t known Sora all that long, it seems as if Ventus could potentially keep up with him, and that’s saying a lot, considering how wound up and full of beans Sora seems to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And every moment of watching Ventus bounce around is a moment that Terra can feel his energy drain right out of him. Briefly, Terra wonders if those ten years of his heart having been separated from his body and wandering lost had granted Ventus some kind of ability to absorb the energy levels of those around him to supplement his own excitable desire to see and do everything. It’s a foolish thought, something that really couldn’t happen, but if it really had happened, then he certainly wouldn’t find it too hard to believe. After all, stranger things have happened with regards to people and their hearts and what the heart itself could do. His own heart, when given the proper stimulus, split from his body with his mind close behind, and all three separate entities were something he didn’t want to think too hard on. It wouldn’t be unbelievable if Ventus acquired some kind of new power through his slumber.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re saying the world only started rebuilding three years ago?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right!” Kairi intones, and Terra watches him with his good eye as she folds her hands behind her back and marches along, head held high. “For a very long time, Radiant Garden was consumed by darkness, and when it finally resurfaced, it was in terrible ruins. No one could remember the name of the world, either, so people started calling it Hollow Bastion. It was kind of spooky back then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his right, Terra can feel Riku shudder and mutter a soft “Yeah, no kidding” under his breath. Neither Kairi nor Ventus seem to hear him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” Ventus breathes, glancing around at the buildings and tiles and gardens around them. “They did such a good job rebuilding. It looks pretty much the same as it used to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kairi hums a cheerful “Yup!”, popping the p with a cheery tune. “The people of Radiant Garden are pretty resilient. And I’m sure everyone’s relieved to finally be back home after everything they’ve been through. Ruins or not, home is still home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All at once, Ventus whirls around at Kairi’s side, turning to face both him and Aqua, who walks near silently on his left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of home, I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed again!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That startles a snort out of him, and to his left Terra can hear Aqua sputter with a giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ven, you just woke up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well not right now,” he says, folding his hands behind his head. “But when I get sleepy later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>If</em> you get sleepy later.” Terra says, and Ventus just sticks his tongue out at him. Aqua laughs beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra can feel another wave of exhaustion blanket him when Ventus whirls around at the speed of light. Riku and Aqua snort at his sides, and he can’t help the tired smile that stretches across his face, wincing a little when his grin tugs at his wound and bandages. Before them stands the castle, proud and glittering and nearing completion from it’s reconstruction. Once again, Ventus whispers an awed “Wow”, but he barely spends a moment to appreciate the view of the castle before he’s bounding up the steps towards the front doors. Kairi is quick to keep up, only a few steps behind him. And while exhaustion creeps up on him again, Terra begins climbing the steps towards the castle with Aqua and Riku at his sides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s almost scary how much he and Sora are alike.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra snorts a laugh, ignoring the ache in his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’d be a real force if they ever decided to team up, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aqua groans, but Terra can hear the fondness in her voice. “I’m too tired to keep up with just Ventus. I don’t think I’d be able to keep up with the both of them, even after a good night’s sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me neither.” Riku says. “Sora and Kairi were enough for me as a kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t Kairi say you were just as bad as Sora?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soft sound that rattles in Riku’s throat elicits a hearty laugh from Aqua, and Terra joins in with a soft chuckle of his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, I was a kid too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m almost nineteen!” Riku whines, and while Terra snorts, Aqua is quick with a retort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nineteen year old Masters don’t whine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, this one does…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra’s snort turns into a belly laugh far too quickly, leaving him gasping for breath and choking on his own spit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry,” he gasps through his own laughter. “Aqua whines too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra nearly starts choking again when Aqua realizes what she’s done beside him, and on his other side he can hear Riku start chuckling himself. Aqua huffs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re both awful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra finally manages to reign in his laughter as the three of them crest the final steps leading up to the castle, and it’s a short walk from the top of the stairs to the front doors. Terra barely remembers when he first woke up in a panic, confused and disoriented and desperate to escape. He’d been here back then, looking around and panicking in the doorway. It felt strange, and very different now, looking at the doorway. But Terra paid it little mind as they pushed the doors open and wandered in. The halls inside look familiar too, but still so very different. He’d been running on fear and pure power of will alone back then, and noticing all the little quirks of the halls was a far different experience now than it was when he was hobbling as fast as he could to escape this place. The soft carpets underneath his boots and the old, fading wallpaper was far less terrifying now that he’s coherent and strong again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra, Aqua, and Ventus follow Kairi and Riku through the halls, turning when they turned and descending stairs when they did. Admittedly, while Terra had been here before, he’d never truly explored the insides of the castle. Not when he was first here over a decade ago, and not when he was here last, waking up from the grievous injuries he knew he had given himself. Making it to the front doors had been sheer dumb luck on his part then, and he hadn’t been granted access to the castle when he was here over a decade ago. Though the inside seems fairly straight forward, Terra is more than happy to let Riku and Kairi lead the way. They seem to know the castle far better than any of them do, anyways, though that doesn’t stop Ventus from tailing directly behind the two of them, chattering to the younger Keybearers as they walk. He’s more than happy to walk at Aqua’s side, anyways. Knowing his own abysmal sense of direction, he would probably find himself lost before he could ever hope to find their destination. And it must be at least five floors that they descend before they finally find the place they’re looking for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Deeper in the castle’s depths, Terra can feel a strange, prickling sensation, not unlike the sensation he felt when he first awoke here. The darkness that stains this world is passive, sitting and settling and content where it is, but it still makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. If there’s any saving grace to this place, it’s that the sensations of the darkness that lingers in nooks, crannies, and corners is weaker than it had been before. It sits somewhere in the deepest pits of the castle, Terra is sure, but they’re safely above the place the darkness seems like it’s settled. The room Kairi and Riku approach is well away from the darkness he feels in this castle, beyond the sterile looking white door and pin pad. Voices can be heard faintly beyond the door, and as Kairi knocks on the door, Riku plays with the pin pad. A muffled shout comes from the other side of the door, and before he knows it, Riku and Kairi are already inside, with Ventus hot on their heels. Terra follows them in, right behind Aqua, and finds himself a little relieved that the darkness hasn’t reached this room either. Or at least, the darkness from the deeper parts of the castle haven’t. A different kind of darkness lingers in the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra pays very little mind to the two men in guard uniforms, and the two men in lab coats and varying neck decorations. They seem like they belong here, and at the very least Terra can recall running past the two guards over a decade ago while they stood watch at the doors. The other two in the room, however, are mostly unknown to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of them has blond hair running down his back, just past his shoulder blades. Fragments of ice and frost seem to cling to him like a second skin, both on his neck and head, as well as his arms and back. Beneath the ice and frost is a coat that Terra knows well enough by now, one he recognizes from Xigbar and the one he currently wears, unzipped and unclasped. The man is unfamiliar, but the one he stands near, the one he’s tending to, is all too familiar. Brownish hair flicks back and stands up on end like a bird’s feathers, and short blunt claws scratch lightly at his cheek. He too wears the same jacket as the one the others of Xehanort’s henchmen are so fond of wearing. Demyx.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aqua registers them the same time he does, and while she summons Master’s Defender to her hands, Terra summons Ends of the Earth. Demyx seems to notice them a heartbeat after they draw their weapons, and immediately he flies into a panic. Blunt claws push the other strange man’s hands away, and before either he or Aqua can react, Demyx springs off of the small chair he sits in and flees, uncaring of what he bumps into as he runs. Riku and Kairi draw upon their own Keyblades, and Ventus hastily summons his own while Demyx dives to hide himself behind one of the guards, though the red haired giant of a man seems less than pleased by the action. The blond stranger heaves a great sigh as Demyx howls a number of sentences Terra doesn’t care to listen to, and turns back to face them. He’s got stranger features on his face, small pockets of flesh missing on his chin and along his jaw, where small pits left behind in his skin seems darker. When he blinks, a clear eyelid slides across his eyes, with the opaque eyelids remaining perfectly still. All Terra can think is snake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before him, Riku raises his Keyblade and charges, aiming a particularly vicious swing at the blonde stranger. In turn, the man summons a shield and hides behind it, letting Riku’s Keybalade strike it and bounce right off of it. Aqua lunges towards Demyx, Master’s Defender raised, and Terra moves to follow, gripping Ends of the Earth tight in his hands. He loses track of Ventus and Kairi while he moves, and all around them Terra can hear shouting start up by several people. Both he and Aqua ignore it, rushing around either side of the giant of a man to get a clean shot at Demyx.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra’s entire arm rattles near painfully as his Keyblade strikes against the blade of an axe. The great giant of a man wields the heavy bladed axe, and though it makes little sense to Terra, he wields it to defend Demyx. The smaller man is pressed up against the man’s chest, covered from both his and Aqua’s Keyblades by the axe. Terra stands and stares at Demyx, pressing the blade of Ends of the Earth against the blade of the axe. Aqua seems to do the same, pressing Master’s Defender against him. The man barely seems to notice how hard they’re both pushing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said that’s enough!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time Terra falters, tearing his eye away from the man and Demyx to glance over at the source of the voice. His eyes skim over Riku and Kairi, Keyblades pressed against the strange, massive shield the blonde stranger had summoned, until they finally settle on one of the men in a lab coat. He’s a severe looking man, with brushed back hair and a well trimmed beard. Though the thick red scarf pulled snug and comfortable around his neck certainly doesn’t help with his imposing look. Stern copper eyes brush over all of them, and something in the way his eyes are filled with disappointment and failed expectations forces him to lower his Keyblade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheathe your weapons, all of you. This is not a battlefield, nor will I allow hot tempers to turn it into one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra hesitates. He glances between Riku, Kairi, Aqua, and Ventus, before he looks at Demyx and the enormous guard protecting him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But they’re-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even and Demyx are working with us, not against us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s voice is no nonsense and deadly serious, and Riku seems to lose whatever else he was going to say. For a brief moment, no one moves. The moment ends when Riku dismisses his Keyblade, and he and Aqua follow suit. The giant of a man doesn’t seem willing to move, but with a firm “It’s all right, Aeleus” from the stern man, he lowers his axe and steps back from Demyx. Demyx simply flashes him the most uncomfortable grin Terra has ever seen in his entire life, and before he can even blink Demyx scuttles away, instead looking for shelter beside the other man in the black coat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The giant of a man- Aeleus, he had been called- takes his leave from them, finding himself a spot that is a little farther away from the group. He finds it near the other guard, and Terra watches them for only a moment before he looks back towards the two men in black coats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blond one dismisses his shield, and while he gives a glance towards Riku and Kairi, he ultimately ignores them, opting instead to brush at his black coat and turn his full attention back onto Demyx. Where he brushes at his coat, frost seems to spread, and Terra doesn’t see the point of swiping at the coat if frost would just dampen the coat. Demyx, on the other hand, sits himself down on the small chair he’d been sitting on before they had made their entrance. From this angle, Terra can only see a portion of his profile, but the portion that he sees shows that Demyx still wears that incredibly uncomfortable smile, bearing his strange, fused teeth with trembling lips and worried brows. It quickly changes into a wince when the other man begins to tend to him again, though whether it’s from the cold that appears to manifest because of the other or if it’s due to pain, Terra isn’t sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra hears the stern man in the lab coat clear his throat, and he looks over at him, perhaps a little too sharply than he meant to. He watches as the man’s features soften, and suddenly it becomes obvious that this man is much older than anyone else gathered here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Riku, Kairi… I must assume that you two have brought with you the owner of the armor and Keyblade that has been recovered from the basement?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beside him, Aqua seems to perk up, her whole body straightening. He watches as Riku manages a nod and a gesture towards them before the man turns his copper eyes back onto them. The man pauses for a moment, looking over them both with a strange emotion hiding in his eyes. Something inside him squirms at the feeling of him watching, like something deep inside him has faced the man before. Yet Terra has no recollection of the man. Eventually the man sighs before finally speaking up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You must be the Master Aqua Yen Sid had spoken of. He had said that you had lost your weapon some time ago?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I did. I used it to… to save someone from the Realm of Darkness a long time ago. But in the process I was forced to send it back into the Realm of Light, while I remained in the Realm of Darkness.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again, Terra feels like he turns his head way too sharply than he meant to when he looks over at Aqua. She glances at him briefly, but turns her eyes away quickly, back to the stern man before them. He doesn’t like the way his gut squeezes and twists into knots at the action.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see,” the man says. “I fear I must apologize for a grievous mistake I commit many years ago. At the time, an apprentice of mine had noticed strange armor and weapons at the same time a young man was found unconscious in the main square. He had called for it to be brought with us when we retrieved the young man, but I thought nothing of it then. Had I known, I would have done my best to contact Yen Sid, and had it brought to him for safe keeping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra’s eyes remained glued on Aqua, watching her as the man spoke. She didn’t seem to be disturbed or saddened by the man’s apology, though relief sparked in her eyes for a moment or two when he mentioned the young man they had found years earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s all right. You have nothing to apologize for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I beg to differ. And speaking of apologies, you are Terra, are you not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever trance Terra had been in snaps, and he whips his head around to face the man in the lab coat. His eyes are filled with remorse stronger than Terra’s ever seen before, and the fact that such remorse is turned upon him makes his blood run cold. It takes him a beat to finally nod his head, though he isn’t sure if the action is as strong as he wanted it to be. Copper eyes slide shut, a heavy sigh leaving the man’s lips before his eyes open once more. A weak grin spreads across his face. It doesn’t make Terra feel any better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I owe you the biggest apology of them all. Had I not been so busy with my own obsession over my research, I may have been able to ease your suffering before everything began to spiral out of control.” Though his grin grows weaker, it doesn’t shrink. “Even now, with different hair and eyes, you both look so much alike. Had I known what was happening, I would have cast Xehanort from your body myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra feels his heart stutter in his chest, feels his blood drain from his face. He doesn’t react beyond a meek nod, nor does he move from his spot when the man turns his attention away from him, back onto Aqua. Everything in the room seems to become too much, every sight and sound and sensation. He doesn’t move when Aqua leaves with the man, nor does he move when Ventus bounces out after them. It’s only when Riku rests a hand on his shoulder and squeezes that he moves, turning his head towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you all right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Terra struggles to comprehend, struggles to find his words, struggles to decide on what to say. He says the first thing that comes to mind, though he knows it isn’t true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… I’m all right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yeehaw happy new year, merry christmas and all that shit. im still bitter about how long this took me to write. im off to sit with my friend and watch them play terranigma lmao. thanks for reading, and i hope it was worth the wait!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Decision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's a feeling he hasn't felt in a long time. Not since he was young, sitting atop his father's shoulders with big hands holding his legs. Not since he was first taken off world, out beyond the stars and constellations he knew by heart. Not since he had allowed himself to be manipulated and possessed.</p>
<p>For the first time in years, Terra feels like he might be free.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao i bet yall thought i died, huh? big same lmao. i was working on this chapter for a bit in early january, and then i got super sick and could not work on it for like two weeks because i felt like i might die. a negative covid test and a month later, i finally started working on this again, but not without great difficulty lmao. but i beat this chapter into submission and im actually really happy with how it turned out! sorry about the big delay, but real life comes first, and i really needed to take some time for me!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Darkness surrounds him, grabs hold of him, drags him down into the abyss inch by excruciating inch. He can’t move his body, not in the ways he wants too. The darkness sucks at legs, panic thrums in his chest, his breaths are fast and shallow and not nearly enough. He tries to move, tries to lift his feet, tries to flee. The darkness holds fast, tightening its grip around his ankles and knees, oozing ever higher, soaking into his pants and squirming its way beneath his skin. Inch by painful inch, he loses height, sinking down into the earth, into the pool of darkness. The haze around him shifts, denizens of the shadows watching from their places just out of clear sight as he suffers. They don’t help him. They don’t run away. They simply watch, glowing yellow eyes piercing the night around him. It’s the only clear part of them.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s just as I said, boy.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s sunk up to his waist, and suddenly, control seems to flood back into his body. He lurches forwards, reaching his arms out to the untainted ground before him. He digs in his fingers, claws at the dirt and the soil, tries his best to drag himself out of the pool of darkness that’s intent on swallowing him. The ground is too weak to help him; the darkness holds onto him far too strongly. It crumbles in his hands, gets caught beneath his nails, dirties his fingers, and all around him in the surrounding haze the denizens of shadows shift. It sounds like they’re laughing.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I told you your darkness would be the ark that would sustain me.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No…!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He tries harder, scratches at the ground more fiercely, looks for any purchase he can find. Nothing changes. The earth still crumbles away from underneath him, leaving his arms and hands and nails dirtier with each frantic motion. The darkness doesn’t stop dragging him down. By now, he’s up to his chest in it. Tendrils crawl up his shoulders and neck, digging their way beneath his skin wherever it can touch. Some of them catch on his jaw, and as they dig into the meat of his face, they begin to pull down.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“There’s no use fighting me, boy. All will be as it should have been long ago.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Black boots, too sharp against their too fuzzy background, step into his line of sight. He doesn’t have to look up to know who it is, but he loses control of himself and looks up anyways. Gold eyes seem to stare straight down into his very soul.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Your body will submit.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>All at once his arms stop against his will. They refuse to move, no matter how badly he wants to keep clawing and digging and dragging.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Your heart will succumb.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Darkness suddenly floods his mouth, rushing down his throat and up his nose. He chokes on it, tries to cough the rancid fluid back out. It refuses, stubbornly clinging to whatever it touches. Xehanort grins wide, teeth bared in such a way that it made him look like a cat who had just caught the canary.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“And this time, there won’t be anything left of your mind to resist.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>His features turn from old and wrinkled to young and smooth. Hair rushes out from his scalp, and his beard disappears. In seconds, a mirror image of himself looks down at him, silver hair shimmering in the moonlight, gold eyes glowing against the darkness of night, and white teeth bared in what begins to look more like a snarl than a smile. In the blacks of his eyes, disturbing images flicker like golden rain rushing through his sight. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Him, clutching his head and baring his teeth. Him, losing control and collapsing to the earth. Him, with golden eyes and silver hair, tearing what little left is of his heart and mind apart. An oily skinned Heartless grabbing Aqua and Ventus by the throats. Heartless, Unversed, Nobodies, everything working against them swarming around them like a million locusts. Friends hitting the ground, weathering the blows of Unversed, falling under the strikes of Nobodies, being consumed by Heartless, until there’s nothing left. The oily skinned Heartless tossing away bodies once they’re still and cold. Rage, emptiness, hunger, hate, nothing but hate, all he can feel is hatred and anguish and the insatiable need to fill his breast with something he’s missing, desperate for something to stop the pain of being incomplete, of being without. A Keyblade stabbing into his back, twisting like a knife, rending oily flesh and tan skin alike into ragged, broken pieces.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The darkness beneath him lurches suddenly and drags him down the last few feet into the earth. And as he plummets into it, Xehanort’s wild laughter chases him all the way down into oblivion.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When his eyes flash open, Terra chokes on his breath, coughing into the night on the feeling of darkness lingering in his throat. For a moment, every fibre of his being begs him to run.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Get up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Flee.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something shifts on his right, and Terra rolls his head to the side so fast he might have given himself whiplash.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust, but what he sees isn’t darkness. Blue hair dyed an almost silvery colour from the patch of moonlight that streams in through the window rests on the meat of his chest where his breast meets his shoulder. A hand worn through years of fighting with Keyblades twitches and grips a little more tightly at his tank top before she relaxes. And Terra watches it all, doing his best to catch his breath while she settles back into her slumber. Something on his left twitches, and when he turns his head to look in that direction, Terra finds a head of blond hair resting on the meat of his arm. He sleeps soundly, almost as if he were dead to the world, nestled just beyond the reach of the moonlight from the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aqua and Ventus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not the darkness holding him down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though his heart still races in his chest, Terra manages to let out a shaking, exhausted wheeze. It was just a nightmare. He was safe, back in the Mysterious Tower with Aqua and Ventus. It wasn’t real… Right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Desperately, Terra tries to recall what was real and what wasn’t. He couldn’t have hurt Aqua and Ventus, there was simply no way. The two of them were lying against his chest, nestled up in the curve of his arms while they slept. They both slept like logs, unknowing of any of his nightmares that woke him in the night. Their throats were fine, there were no massive bruises the shape of handprints there. They were warm, and breathing, and shuffling against him every so often in their sleep. Just like him, they’re safe, here in the Mysterious Tower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But his dreams had felt so real, almost too real. They felt like the memories that came back to him in bits and pieces in his sleep, fractured and hazy and hard to align like scattered pieces from different jigsaw puzzles. But these couldn’t have been real. The three of them hadn’t been to the Badlands, hadn’t been to the Keyblade Graveyard in over a decade. These dreams, though broken and hazy from sleep, had people that Terra knows he’s only met recently. Axel, Kairi, Riku, Sora, the four of them are people Terra knows he’s only met properly within the past few months. It has to have been a dream, there couldn’t possibly be another explanation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something dark rises from deep within him. It coils itself around his racing heart, squeezes tightly and fills his stomach with dread until he feels nauseous. It whispers to him all of his greatest fears, tells him it wasn’t a dream, that it was reality, that his memories have been broken and fractured for more than a decade. It was real, it says, all of his scattered dreams were real. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra shakes his head, as if a physical motion would be enough to banish the dread from his gut and the darkness from his heart. He does his best to recount what had happened leading up to the moment right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d waited with Riku and Kairi in the labs of the castle, waited for Aqua and Ventus to come back with the stern looking man. He’d listened to Riku prod at the two Organization lackeys, listened to the snake-looking man- Vexen, he said- describe his plans to assist them behind Xehanort’s back. He had listened while words and phrases Terra didn’t have enough context to understand had been spoken between the two, something to do with replicas and memories and digital hearts. The other one, Demyx, had joined in, chattering excitedly about who was with the Organization, and who would be fighting. More names Terra didn’t have faces to assign to. It had been more than thirteen, more people than Riku and Kairi seemed to be expecting. Marluxia, Larxene, Xigbar, Luxord, Saix, Xion,- a name that Riku winced at and Kairi tilted her head at- Vanitas, Xemnas, Ansem, Seeker of Darkness,- a name that sounded too long to be a proper name- Xehanort, Young Xehanort,- whatever the hell that meant- Riku’s Replica, and depending on who would be chosen as a replacement for their missing thirteenth, either Demyx himself or Vexen. Terra hadn’t pretended to know what it meant when Vexen had mentioned a dozen extra replicas of Xehanort were prepared to fight. Though not entirely certain what a replica meant in the situation, it definitely seemed as if Xehanort had scraped together more than thirteen darknesses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They hadn’t much of a chance to press them more about what Xehanort’s plans were, as Aqua and Ventus had come back with the stern man, Aqua with her Keyblade and armor in her arms. It hadn’t been long after that the stern man had turned to the Organization members and started speaking with them, and at that point, Terra had been far too exhausted to bother vying for the cloaked men’s attention. They’d begun their march out of the castle, Ventus and Kairi chattering their heads off while Aqua and Riku spoke. Terra had been happy then to not need to use any of his remaining brain power to talk, and instead had focused on keeping himself upright and placing one foot in front of the other. And when they had set foot beyond the walls of Radiant Garden, Ventus had forced him to use his brain more than he had wanted to at the time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He begged both him and Aqua for a race, begged them with every ounce of his being to join him on their Gliders and soar through the stars back to Master Yen Sid’s tower. Every fibre of Terra’s soul had been begging him to sit down on the rail car that had taken them here and fall asleep on the way back. His muscles were sore, his face was sore, and he felt like he could barely keep his eyelids open. But for Ventus, it had been ten years. For Aqua, it had been ten years. And though Aqua was just as exhausted looking as himself, Terra had seen the eager sparkle in her eyes at the prospect of flying through the stars on her own once more. He’d agreed, no matter how tired he’d been.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Riku and Kairi took the rail car back to the tower, and Terra had kissed his nap goodbye as he chased after Aqua and Ventus through the stars, never once straying too far from the rail car as they flew and spun and dove and raced. It had been fun, and the smile on Ventus’ face when he ‘won’ their little impromptu race back to the tower was worth missing his promised nap on the rail car, even if he only won because Terra was too busy trying to stay awake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a little while after, things were a blur. Climbing the stairs back up to Master Yen Sid’s study, reporting in, and receiving orders to practice and rest for the inevitable battle creeping over the horizon. He doesn’t really remember returning to his room or what he had done before, but by the time they had returned, the sun had been fading and the stars had been peeking past the last of the sun’s light and Terra had been dead on his feet. Ventus, surprisingly, had been the same way, with only Aqua hiding her exhaustion with any modicum of willpower. They’d each fallen into Terra’s loaned bed after dressing in pyjamas, and from there they had each passed out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dark something coiling around his heart says they had gone to the Keyblade Graveyard the next morning, that they had gone to the final battle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But they couldn’t have.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra is still here in the tower. Aqua is still here in the tower. Ventus is still here in the tower. And through the darkness of night that settles over the room, Terra can see the simple wall clock ticking away, the black hand pointing to one in the morning against the white face. They couldn’t have gone to the Badlands, to the Keyblade Graveyard, they simply couldn’t have.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That dark something squeezes him tighter. His heart feels like it fights to beat, racing despite the reality before him, pressing against something that restrains it in his chest. His breathing has picked up once more, short and shallow breaths forcing his chest to rise and fall more forcefully than needed. He needs to get up, he needs to get up and get away, he needs to flee. He needs to leave the tower, needs to clear his head and calm his heart and ease his lungs. But Ventus still sleeps on his upper arm, and Aqua still slumbers against his chest. He can’t move them, can’t risk waking them. They don’t need to deal with his personal nightmares, don’t deserve the burden of soothing a killer’s fears. He can’t wake them, refuses to wake them and make them deal with his problems. Because Light knows they would try, if they saw him like this. Light knows that if they knew he had a nightmare they would tell him everything’s okay, that nothing’s wrong, that everyone is safe and alive and that there’s nothing to worry about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But everything isn’t okay. Everyone isn’t safe and alive. There’s still so much to worry about. Master Eraqus is dead because of him. He’d struck down his own master, his father, <em>their</em> father, and he’d left him to be consumed by the darkness Xehanort had summoned to their world. Their world is in shambles, dead and lifeless because of him. He’d hurt countless individuals with Xehanort’s urging. He’d stolen hearts, killed men, and let the universe come crashing down around them at the whims of some old man bent on total World destruction. Said man has more people at his beck and call than what had been initially estimated, each of them remarkably powerful and aggressive and willing to be footholds in Xehanort’s quest for power. What if he isn’t strong enough? What if he loses control again? What if Xehanort reclaims him as a vessel for his stupid war? What if he hurts Aqua and Ventus again?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The movement is abrupt enough to knock Terra out of his thoughts, enough to make him focus on the world around him again. Aqua’s rolled over, curling up in the crook of his arm and his torso. He holds his breath as she moves, heart still pounding and that dark something still squeezing. Eventually she settles down again, resting her cheek on her arm and curling up tight beside him. He can feel her breathing through her back, deep and calm and restful. She’s still asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>More importantly, she’s rolled off of his chest and arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra’s heart leaps up into his throat as he slowly, inch by inch, shuffles himself away from both her and Ventus. Predictably, Ventus doesn’t even stir when Terra eases his arm out from underneath his head. Instead, Ventus mimics Aqua, dragging Terra’s pillow down and curling up with it tucked beneath his head. It takes him entirely too long for his liking before Terra is able to stand up without disturbing them, and on his way to the door, Terra halts every time he hears a shift in breath or a movement of skin against fabric. It’s a miracle that he makes it out of his room without waking them, and he wastes no time in descending the flights of stairs, bare feet tapping softly on cool stone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It feels like his racing heart will never slow, like that dark something will never let go of him, like no matter how fast he descends the stairs, he’ll never be able to outrun it. A knot of emotion Terra doesn’t dare identify settles into his chest and gut, tying his insides tight as he rushes ever onwards down the flights of stairs. He tries to move faster, tries to skip stairs down the tower, but it’s never enough for him to feel like he’s outrunning that emotion, never enough for him to feel like he’s outrunning that dark something constricting his heart. The relief of finally escaping the tower into the night is minimal at best, and through the fog in his head, Terra manages a wince at how loudly he’d shoved the doors open. Hopefully that wouldn’t echo all the way up the tower and wake someone, though Lady Luck has proven she does not favour him before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The world outside is quiet and cool. The full moon shines down on the tower, turning it’s already light paint a near-glittering white. The dirt and grass beneath his feet is cool and dewy and sticks uncomfortably to the pads of his feet. A breeze teases the ends of his hair and the long, light edges of his sleep pants, chilling the sweat already beginning to slick his skin. And the moon, as full and bright as it is, chases the oppressive shadows away, casting a soft glow against everything it touches. The night is truly a beautiful one. But it still does nothing to ease that dark something squeezing his heart. It still does nothing to ease the knots of emotions twisting his insides together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did not expect you to be out and about this late.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a miracle in and of itself that Terra doesn’t jump out of his skin, though the twinge in his neck when he whips around to face the other tells him that he’s definitely given himself mild whiplash. Rounding the edge of the castle is Master Yen Sid, curiously lacking his signature blue robes and star-patterned cap. Instead, the great wizard wears a thick looking housecoat made of grey fleece, tied tight and snug over what looks like a pair of plain purple pyjamas. Seeing Master Yen Sid’s grey slippers is likely the most bizarre part, considering his usual robe skims just across the ground when he isn’t seated at his desk. Like this, it’s almost easy enough to forget that Master Yen Sid is retired Master and powerful mage, and not any other man in his eighties. Master Yen Sid approaches him, and Terra straightens his back and stands at attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it that brings you out under the stars so early in the morning, Terra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All at once, that dark something constricting his heart squeezes even tighter as thoughts and memories and the pieces of his dreams come rushing back to him. Terra’s barely even aware he’s opened his mouth to reply until his words have tumbled out of his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I could be asking you the same thing, Master Yen Sid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, the Master doesn’t appear to take any offence to his words. Instead, he chuckles, one hand moving to stroke at his beard while the other holds a previously unnoticed basket of flowers close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For as long as I can remember, I have suffered insomnia. Though I find myself longing for a good night’s sleep, my body simply will not allow such indulgence. Though,” he hums, looking Terra over with critical eyes. “I feel as though you are not in bed for different reasons.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like Aqua and Ventus can see his tells, Master Yen Sid seems to know all too well that something is troubling him. That dark something inside him squeezes his heart so tight he nearly chokes, and Terra lowers his gaze from Master Yen Sid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m awake because I,” he says, hesitating. For a brief moment he thinks, searching for the right words that keep his nightmares to himself. Master Yen Sid definitely doesn’t have the time to deal with his personal problems either, and it wouldn’t be fair to dump such foolish problems on him. “I have a lot on my mind right now, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what is it that seems to be troubling you tonight?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Brain function stops for a few seconds while Master Yen Sid’s words finally sink in, and only when they finally click in his skull does Master Yen Sid speak again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If your current sleeplessness is the result of the decision you have before you regarding your future, then I would like to soothe some of your possible fears.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beside him, Master Yen Sid slowly sinks down to his knees, settling himself to sit on his feet. Terra, though feeling entirely constricted by that dark something in his chest, scrambles to follow suit, folding his legs beneath him until he too is sitting on his heels.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you are worried about your living situation should you choose to retire, then I would like to invite you to join me here, within the tower. Though circumstances demand the tower act as a hub for Keybearers preparing for the inevitable clash against Xehanort, there is no requirement for those living here to be Keybearers only. I would only ask that you assist with the chores that need to be done around the tower, should you have any desire to remain here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Being a retired Keybearer does not limit you to remaining confined on a single world, either.” At this Terra looks up at Master Yen Sid, confusion managing to squirm past that dark something squeezing him. “Though it is a general rule of thumb for retired Keybearers to never draw upon their Keyblade, I do believe it is still practice for retired Keybearers to rely on their Gliders.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid turns to him then, an uncharacteristic yet somehow fitting smile on his face. It’s enough to keep Terra’s confusion at the surface, safe from that dark something within. “Though Keyblade Masters are few and far between, many of which are retired, I know there are those who continue to use their Gliders for passage between worlds. Not all Keybearers retire to a single world for the rest of their days, and though I know not of her location, I know one who undoubtedly continues to world hop to this day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But… Even if I do, even if I decide I want to travel the worlds, where would I even go?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Terra barely realizes what he’s said until it’s already out of his mouth. And to his surprise, Master Yen Sid lets out a mirthful chuckle, turning his eyes up towards the stars that still shine overhead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That, young Terra, is the beauty of retirement. You may go wherever your heart desires. The worlds are vast and endless, countless options with their own merits. Each of them is unique, a world of opportunity for exploration and learning. Wherever it is that your heart wishes to go, there will always be something new to experience around the corner.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as Terra had suspected when Master Yen Sid had posed such a question to him yesterday, the old wizard had given him a vague non-answer. A simple remark to follow his heart in more words than necessary. But despite the predicted annoyance at the non-answer, something inside him felt… Free. Terra wouldn’t be limited to any one world if he chose to retire, and he would not need to worry about picking a world he did not feel at home on. If he didn’t feel at home on any given world, then he could simply just vanish, get up and leave and find the next world that sparked his interest. He wouldn’t have to hide from his friends, should they decide to look for him, either. He could simply fly to a new world, with new faces, with inhabitants that wouldn’t know him as anyone other than a stranger, neutral and unmarred by difficult pasts. They would not know him to be the one who had opened the door for Xehanort’s darkness. They would not know him as the one who helped usher in a time of chaos and destruction. They would not know him as the man who killed his father. He would be nothing more than just a man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid had fallen silent, his eyes turned to the stars and hands folded in his lap. Whether there was nothing else to say, or if he was allowing Terra his time and privacy to decide, he wasn’t sure, but the quiet companionship was comforting while Terra turned the idea over in his head. He too, casts his gaze to the stars, watching as they ever so slowly begin to fade with dawn’s first light. Each little light, a world shining down upon them, like millions of lanterns that never go out. The dark something that had been squeezing his insides so violently starts to recede, and the longer Terra stares at the stars, the fainter the feeling becomes until his chest feels light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Empty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Free.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From the corner of his eye, Terra can see Master Yen Sid turning his attention back to him, though the wizard makes no move to speak. For a moment, he hesitates, looking up at the worlds shining in the sky and the endless void between them, hiding more worlds than Terra could imagine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know there’s a fight ahead, and I fear what will happen if I’m not there, but...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Master Yen Sid dips his head, but once again makes no move to speak, allowing Terra to sort through his thoughts and find his words. And though he had not known the Master like he had known his own, Terra dully thinks that he’ll definitely miss this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I want to retire.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i started knitting recently. its been really fun. but its cut into my writing time at home. works been busy, so i havent really been able to write at work much either. and dont even get me started on my streaming. i was streaming a lot of kh when i first got better, and now im streaming some ffxv, which is even worse because im falling in love with the characters all over again. i didnt forget about this fic, but other things have been giving me enough serotonin that i kept forgetting to actually sit down and really write this. i hope it was worth the wait though!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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